Necessary Things
by SlimReaper
Summary: Just once, I'd like Naruto and Kakashi to get what they need. Kimura Suyo is someone who could actually provide it... but will her traumatic past keep her from receiving what she needs from them? Kaka/OC, now with delicious lemons!
1. Chance Encounter

**I don't own the Naruto franchise or any associated characters/plots. Written for fun, not profit. R&R, enjoy!**

Kakashi almost ran into his young student's back when he stopped dead in the middle of the crowded market. "Something wrong, Naruto?"

"No, this is perfect!" he said, his entire face lighting up as he waved enthusiastically at someone across the market. "Suyo! Hey, Suyo, c'mere a minute!" With that, Naruto sprinted off through the crowd, both his sensei and the day of training he'd promised them instantly forgotten.

Jiraiya met Kakashi's gaze for an instant, then rolled his eyes. "I thought he'd be after food, not a girl," he laughed. "My student finally makes me proud!"

Kakashi shrugged and reached for his book, deciding to vanish behind it and let Jiraiya deal with whatever distraction Naruto was cooking up now. Not that he probably would–there were plenty of women in the market, and women always took priority for the old sage.

A glance to the side confirmed his suspicions. Jiraiya was already straightening his clothes and smoothing his hair, no doubt preparing to turn on the charm as he did whenever a female was around. Old, young, that didn't matter to him in the least. Kakashi sighed inwardly again and turned the page. Legendary sannin though he was, at heart Jiraiya was just a ladies' man, more interested in his next conquest in the bedroom than on the battlefield. And while he might enjoy the spicy romances the old sage wrote, Kakashi was really getting tired of watching him flirt with every female who passed by.

"Hey hey," Jiraiya said, nudging Kakashi with his elbow a moment later. "I guess maybe Naruto's good for something after all, eh? Apparently this beautiful girl's for me, not him!"

Kakashi glanced up and saw Naruto on his way back, pulling a woman by the hand. She wasn't much taller than Naruto, and the plain tan and blue outfit she wore covered her from neck to wrists to ankles. An empty woven basket dangled from the hand Naruto wasn't clinging to. Despite Jiraiya's words, she wasn't beautiful–really, Kakashi thought he'd be kind to call her passably pretty. But as usual, the Sannin reacted to her as though she were a supermodel.

"Naruto, really, I'm sure they're busy–" the woman protested as Naruto practically dragged her over. Far from sharing the boy's enthusiasm, she was doing everything short of digging in her heels to resist Naruto as he towed her through the shoppers toward them. "I don't want to inconvenience anyone–"

The blond boy showed no sign of listening to her. "Nonsense, are you kidding? They don't bite and I've been wanting them to meet you for a really long time." Kakashi stashed the book, figuring he'd better pay attention to the inevitable introductions as Naruto stopped in front of him and Jiraiya. "Okay! Listen up! This is Kimura Suyo. Suyo-chan, meet Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sama, my sensei."

Kakashi caught the faintest hint of some soft fragrance from Suyo's hair as her long braid fell over her shoulder when she bowed. In contrast to her rather plain face, her hair was pure beauty–the thick braid hung nearly to her waist, glossy as an onyx mirror. But it was that scent that truly caught his attention. Nothing like the floral reek of perfume, it was just strong enough to tease his heightened sense of smell without triggering any instant recognition of what it was. He bowed in return, murmuring a polite response to the introduction while inhaling deeply and trying to decipher what it was about that fragrance that caught him so strongly.

Jiraiya, of course, wasn't nearly so restrained in his greetings. Rather than bowing, he caught her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "Lovely Suyo-chan! It is my very great honor to meet–" he began extravagantly, but Naruto scowled and knocked the ninja's hand away.

"Cut it out, Pervy Sage," he growled. "I've already warned her about you, so don't even go there."

Jiraiya glared back at him. "_Warned _her? That was completely unnecessary, and how many times have I told you not to call me that!" he hissed.

Naruto ignored him, turning back to Suyo instead. "So come on, give me the list! I know I can beat my last time."

She smiled at him but shook her head. Her braid whipped back behind her, casting another soft wave of fragrance over Kakashi. "I'm sure your sensei have better things to do than stand around here while you try and beat your record," she said gently. "Next time, okay?"

"You do remember we're supposed to be training today, right?" Kakashi reminded him, trying to give the clearly uncomfortable woman a graceful exit.

Naruto wasn't giving up that easily, however. "This _is_ training!" he protested. "C'mon, Suyo-chan, let me have it. You hate shopping anyway, and I'll get it done for you in… yeah, I can do it in five minutes this time. All right? Please?"

Suyo looked up at Jiraiya, but if she thought help would come from that quarter, she was mistaken. Jiraiya smiled broadly. "Go on, let the boy have his five minute challenge," he urged her, reaching out to take her hand again. Naruto pointedly stepped between them and ignored the glare Jiraiya sent his way. The old sage recovered his charming smile quickly, though, and winked at her over Naruto's head. "It's not enough time to truly get to know such a lovely young woman, but I would be honored to spend the time basking in your beauty."

Kakashi fought not to roll his eyes, but when he glanced sidelong at Suyo, she didn't appear charmed at all. He wasn't the only one who noticed her lack of enthusiasm, either. Naruto glared at Jiraiya, and if he didn't know Naruto was completely head over heels for Sakura, Kakashi would've sworn he was jealous. "Can the cheesy lines, Pervy Sage. She's not your type–she's got a brain."

Kakashi laughed, earning one of Jiraiya's glares for himself. Naruto turned his back on the two ninja and gazed imploringly up at Suyo. "C'mon, please? Five minutes–no, _under _five minutes. I can do it, believe it!"

Suyo held the boy's gaze a moment longer, then shook her head in defeat. She smiled at Naruto as she held out a little coin purse and a scrap of paper to him. "All right, scamp, you win." He jumped and whooped as if he'd just won a thousand bucks. She didn't let go of the paper when he grabbed it, though. "Will you be done with your training by dinnertime?"

The boy looked hopefully at Kakashi, who just shrugged. It would take more than puppy-dog eyes to get the boy out of his training. "It depends on him entirely," he said. "If he gives an honest day's work, he could be finished earlier than that. If not… well, I've got no plans for the evening."

Naruto grinned back at Suyo. "Then yes, definitely! I'll work as hard as it takes."

"In that case, add ramen noodles to this list and show up at seven, got it?"

He jumped and whooped for joy again. "You got it, Suyo! Now time me, okay?"

"All right, all right… wait…" She looked at her watch, one finger in the air. "Okay… go!"

Naruto didn't waste a second. _"Shadow clone jutsu!"_

Kakashi shook his head as ten Narutos scattered across the market. "When I was his age, going to the market was a drag," he remarked as the enthusiastic orange-suited group swarmed through the crowd. "Definitely not a treat I'd beg for."

Of course, that wasn't true–when he'd been Naruto's age, he'd been a jounin for two years and had completed half a dozen solo assassinations. He'd been living on his own for eight years. Something like shopping didn't phaze him in the least–in fact, he'd found the normalcy of the chore deeply comforting, and eating something that wasn't a ration bar was a luxury.

By the time he was Naruto's age, Kakashi had also learned that a little lie or two often helped ease out a few truths.

Suyo laughed and shook her head. "He likes to challenge himself, and to help me."

Jiraiya waved a hand to dismiss Naruto from the conversation. "Kimura… you know, I thought I knew all the pretty girls in the Leaf Village, but I don't recognize that name. Are you visiting family here in Konoha?"

Kakashi had been wondering the same thing. Big as Konoha was, it was still small enough that he knew almost every family who lived here–by surname and reputation, if not by sight. Suyo shook her head at Jiraiya's question. "No, I have no family here. I'm originally from the Land of Tea."

"Ahh, the Land of Tea, a beautiful place," Jiraiya said, clasping his hands over his heart. "Like you, Suyo-chan. To what do we owe the remarkable good fortune of your presence here in the Leaf?"

Her smile faltered. "My village was destroyed a few years ago," she said after a moment, recovering enough to bring the smile back, even if it looked a bit strange. Her tone was stranger–determinedly light in a way that only emphasized that she was putting an effort to make it so. "After that, I wound up here, and Hokage-sama was kind enough to let me stay. I've lived in Konoha for over a year now."

"A year," Kakashi mused aloud, nodding and watching another pair of Narutos arguing over something at a fish seller's cart. He wondered how much of Jiraiya's flirtation was information gathering and how much was simply trying to get a date. Really, he'd like to know more himself. This woman was no shinobi–that much was blatantly obvious–but he was intrigued by her guarded answer. How had her home been destroyed? Her expression and tone made it clear it hadn't been some kind of natural disaster. And what had made the Hokage allow her to stay? Konoha, like every other hidden village, was founded and built on secrecy. While visitors weren't uncommon, immigrants were rarely allowed to stay in any shinobi village. Allowing outsiders to learn their ways was hardly usual procedure… especially outsiders who so quickly formed attachments to someone like a jinchuuriki.

Kakashi shrugged internally and dismissed the thought to worry at the back of his mind. Lady Tsunade had apparently met her and been convinced that she was harmless. Who was he to argue with the Hokage? He suppressed a sigh, knowing he couldn't let it go that easily, and tried to continue the small talk until Naruto got back. "How are you enjoying our little village?"

"Little?" Suyo laughed, and now her smile looked natural again. "Compared to Junyato, Konoha is enormous. I'm still learning my way around. I don't know what I would've done if it wasn't for Naruto."

Jiraiya sent Kakashi a pointed look. "Don't you have a book you'd like to read?"

For once, Kakashi didn't feel the urge to bury his nose in the pages. "I've read it," he said with a shrug. This conversation was more interesting than rereading the same old story. "How did you meet Naruto?"

Her smile vanished entirely this time as though cut off by a switch. She was silent so long that Kakashi thought she wouldn't reply at all. Finally, she spoke in a bare whisper that underlined the haunted desolation in her eyes. "I owe him my life."

Kakashi sensed Jiraiya's sudden tension. A quick glance showed that the familiar leer had left the sannin's eyes altogether. It was replaced by an expression that was… almost like respect… and was certainly tinged with recognition. How could he recognize a woman he'd just met? Kakashi's curiosity, already piqued, cranked a notch higher.

Then a Naruto dashed by and the moment passed. At the sight of the teenager, it was as though life returned to the woman's face. She still didn't smile, but she did manage to meet their eyes again. "You've got an amazing student there, if I may be so bold as to say so, nin-san."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "He's certainly unique," he said sardonically as another of the clones zipped past, this time nearly hitting Kakashi with a swinging bag of oranges on his way past. If the sannin had indeed experienced some kind of revelation, his reaction to it was once again hidden behind the flirtatious expression he usually wore. "I hope he isn't a bother to you. He can be… persistent, and rather oblivious to hints. We can get him to leave you alone if you want."

She looked positively alarmed at the prospect. "Oh, no, please, he's no bother at all! Naruto is a joy to be around," Suyo hastened to reassure them. "I'm thankful every day that I know him."

"Then you are one of God's chosen," Jiraiya muttered, but quickly smiled when she glanced at him in surprise. "But why are we talking about Naruto? I'd much rather talk about you."

Suyo blushed, but Kakashi could sense it was due to discomfort and not because she was flattered at Jiraiya's attention. It made him wonder just what Naruto had told her about the legendary ninja and his penchant for young women. Whatever it was, every bit of it was probably true. With an little sigh, he decided to be a gentleman and try to rescue her from Jiraiya's clearly unwelcome flirtation. Maybe it wasn't as impressive as saving her from some unknown horrors, he thought with an inward smile, but he didn't doubt she'd be grateful for his efforts nonetheless.

And perhaps he could work the conversation back around to what had happened to her village since Jiraiya had clearly finished his questioning. He could be a gentleman and still be a jounin, after all. "Naruto said he could break his record," Kakashi commented before Jiraiya could speak, blurting the first thing that entered his mind. "Does he do this for you often?"

She sent him a look of such gratitude, Kakashi actually felt his own cheeks warm beneath his mask. Plain she might be, but her expressive green eyes were nothing short of lovely. "No, not really. Usually it happens just like today–I run into him at the market and he begs to have a chance to beat his best time. So far his record is six minutes and seventeen seconds."

Kakashi scanned the crowd, seeing blond clones dancing this way and that, leaping over stalls and shoppers. "It does appear to sharpen his reflexes, I suppose."

Jiraiya was growing clearly frustrated with Kakashi's continued interruptions and Suyo's talk of Naruto. "Would you care to make a small wager on his outcome today, then?" he asked, stepping forward to put Kakashi behind his shoulder–a not-so-subtle way to cut him out of the conversation. "If Naruto beats that time, you have dinner with me, but if he doesn't, then I'll have dinner with you. What do you think, eh?"

Suyo clasped her hands together in front of her and took a deep breath, clearly about to refuse, but before she could speak Naruto was back–all ten of him. "Did I make it? What's my time?" they all asked, practically bouncing with anticipation as they cut between Suyo and Jiraiya to encircle her. It was as though the woman was suddenly surrounded by a fidgeting orange wall.

She checked her watch with clear relief. "Four minutes and fifty eight seconds! Well done, Naruto-kun! Did you remember to get the ramen noodles?"

All the clones laughed. "Did I remember the ramen? Come on, Suyo, do you know me at all?"

She laughed with him. "You're right, silly question. Here, I'll take all this, and thank you for saving me a long and boring morning of shopping." Each clone poofed out of existence as she relieved them of their burdens until just the real Naruto was left holding the bag of oranges. "Seven o'clock, right? Don't forget!"

He grinned. "Like I'd forget, you make the best ramen ever. I'll be there, believe it!"

Suyo ruffled his already-messy hair affectionately, then bent and murmured something in his ear before taking the oranges from him. Naruto laughed and nodded. Then she bowed to Jiraiya and Kakashi in turn. "It was an honor to meet you both, nin-san," she said politely.

"And you," Kakashi replied, bowing back to her.

Jiraiya gave a disgruntled look at the packages she held that prevented him from kissing her hand again. "Until we meet again, Suyo-chan," he said, bowing extravagantly until Naruto stepped on his foot.

Kakashi didn't watch her leave. Instead he glanced down at his young student. "I hear you're her hero," he said mildly.

Naruto waved a hand dismissively. "Naah, that wasn't a big deal. I was just in the right place at the right time." Then he shot a glare at Jiraiya, who was watching Suyo walk away with something more than polite interest. "Geez, take a hint already, Pervy Sage! She's not interested. Why don't you forget about her and chase after one of your usual airheads, okay?"

Jiraiya sighed and clasped a hand to his chest. "Alas, I fear you're right–although I'm sure it's because you poisoned her mind against me," he snapped, dropping the melodramatic act. "Haven't I told you never to interfere with a man's love life? Especially mine!"

"Ha," Naruto snorted. "There's no love to it. Don't think I'm too young to know just what your so-called _research_ is all about. Pervert."

Kakashi tuned out their bickering as he led the way out of the market toward the training fields. Though Naruto made light of it, he'd been paying attention when Suyo had said the boy had saved her life. Kakashi had seen that look in her eyes before, seen it in haunting the eyes of a thousand victims and frozen on the faces a hundred corpses. Whatever Naruto had done for her, it hadn't been minor–at least not to her.

How unlike the hotheaded, prideful genin not to brag about it, too.

Predictably, once they reached the practice field, Jiraiya quickly lost interest in training Naruto. Kakashi wasn't surprised. While both were technically the boy's sensei, their training styles were far different. Where Kakashi taught, prodded, demonstrated, nagged, and generally badgered Naruto into learning new techniques, Jiraiya was more likely to show him something once and leave the boy to figure out how to accomplish the new jutsu on his own. Within an hour, the sannin had had his fill of it and announced his plan to head to the bath houses "and do a little more research for my next book."

Naruto kept practicing as Jiraiya walked away. Only after several minutes had passed did he pause and glance back at Kakashi, who caught the movement out of the corner of his eye as he read his book yet again. "Suyo wanted me to tell you that you're invited to dinner too, Kakashi-sensei."

Ahh, so that's what the whispering had been about. "Odd that she didn't want to share a meal with Jiraiya-sama," he commented, turning a page with a smile that was hidden beneath his mask.

Naruto scowled. "Like I'd have even passed on that message," he snorted. "He might be a big-shot legendary sannin, but that Pervy Sage is definitely not good enough for Suyo."

There it was again, that trace of jealousy. Kakashi looked up from the book and met the boy's gaze. Naruto only held his eye for a moment before going back to his training. "Go or don't go," Naruto said in a would-be-careless voice, as if he knew Kakashi had noticed his tone. Then, as though he couldn't stop himself, he added, "If I were you, I would, though. She's a great cook."

_It doesn't sound like you go for the food,_ Kakashi thought, but did not say. Inwardly, despite his concern, he was glad to see that Naruto had found someone who'd taken an interest in him. He might try to hide how deeply he cared for the genin in his care, but truth was that Naruto's solitude was a source of great worry, and not just for him. Iruka, Naruto's former sensei at the Ninja Academy, was probably the closest thing he'd ever known to a father, and the chunin frequently nagged Kakashi for updates on his progress. Those conversations invariably turned to Iruka's concerns about the boy who was too often alone.

Naruto's life had never been easy, starting literally from the moment of his birth. His mother had died bringing Naruto into the world, and the Nine-Tailed Fox had claimed his father, the Fourth Hokage, less than an hour thereafter when he'd sacrificed himself to seal the demon spirit inside his own newborn son. It was the only way they'd known to stop the terrifying beast from killing them all, though it required a heavy price–the life of the one casting the seal, and forcing his own baby to grow up carrying the cursed name of jinchuuriki. His dying wish was for Naruto to be revered as a hero for containing the destructive demon.

But it didn't turn out that way.

Naruto grew up reviled, not revered. Konoha's inhabitants didn't see Naruto's irrepressible spirit, his quick smile, his loyalty to his home. They even managed not to see his striking resemblance to their beloved Fourth Hokage–almost no one, including the boy himself, knew that Naruto was Minato's son. No, the villagers saw only the Nine-Tailed Fox, and they hated Naruto for the death and destruction the demon had wrought in the hours surrounding his birth. Few would even look the boy in the eye. Raised impersonally by hate-filled nurses at the village orphanage, tolerated only because of the Hokage's decree, he was kicked out to fend for himself the day he'd started at the Ninja Academy at the age of six.

Somehow he'd managed to keep himself alive on his own since then, living alone in a tiny apartment and pretending the coldness of the villagers didn't hurt him. Kakashi saw right through that façade, though. Ninja he might be, and formidable though he was with the power of the Fox sealed inside him, Naruto was also still a child. And every child needed someone to care about him.

It seemed like Naruto had found it in this woman. Apart from his sensei and teammates, Suyo was the only villager Kakashi had ever seen actually look the boy in the eye, much less touch him with affection. Even if all she did was humor him when he wanted to send his clones stampeding through the market or feed him a homemade meal every once in a while, it was something Naruto sorely needed.

But that didn't mean Kakashi wouldn't take his own steps to make sure this woman was who and what she seemed, especially now that Sasuke had betrayed them all. Sasuke, the boy who had been more brother than teammate to Naruto, and who had nearly succeeded in killing him.

Another betrayal like that might just finish the job.

True to his word, Naruto actually focused for once and worked hard all afternoon on his jutsu practice. Kakashi took pity on him as the sun crept toward the horizon and the temperature dropped. "All right, you've made good progress, so I suppose you've done enough for one day," he said, standing and pushing his book back into his pocket. "And you're sweaty and filthy, too. Looks like you should just have enough time to get cleaned up a bit before your dinner date if you hurry."

Naruto wiped his forehead in clear relief. "Great! I was starting to think you'd never let me leave. Hey, do you need to know how to get to Suyo's apartment, or are you just going to follow me there?"

Kakashi shook his head, the reaction automatic. "I'm afraid I can't make it tonight, but give her my appreciation for her thoughtfulness. I've got other things to take care of."

"I thought you said you had no plans for the evening," Naruto reminded him. Kakashi just shrugged, not in the mood to come up with a more plausible excuse. He'd never been any good at plausible ones, anyway. Finally the boy shook his head. "You're missing out, but I'll tell her. See you later!"

But instead of going home, half an hour later Kakashi found himself silently trailing Naruto through the streets. Even though social events were something he avoided, he wanted to see what happened. All his mental alarms were going off. It boiled down to one thing–that odd note in Naruto's voice when he'd said Jiraiya wasn't good enough for Suyo, a tone that was not quite jealousy, not quite possessiveness, but a mixture of both. It had caught in Kakashi's mind and refused to let go.

Who was this woman who was apparently so important to Naruto, and if he'd known her for a year, why hadn't he spoken of her to the team that was the closest thing he had to a family?

.

**(A/N: Tune in for the next chapter when we'll find out just how this woman came to Konoha! Angsty goodness, people, angsty goodness…)**


	2. Light and Darkness

**I don't own the Naruto franchise or any associated characters/plots. (Dammit.) This angsty goodness was written for fun, not profit. R&R, enjoy!**

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Naruto rushed back to his tiny one-room efficiency and washed up at top speed. Within minutes he was off again, hurrying through the village, and he didn't notice his sensei shadowing him. Of course, Kakashi was good at that. A skill he hadn't had to work hard to master and didn't expect he'd ever lose, being invisible was one thing at which Hatake Kakashi had always excelled even before he'd perfected it in Konoha's ANBU Black Ops.

He didn't join Naruto in knocking on Suyo's door, however. Instead he perched atop the roof across from her building and watched until he located Suyo's flat. He shifted until he was close enough to hear their muffled voices through her closed window while still remaining hidden in shadow. It was cold on the roof, but he was no stranger to discomfort. He just… wanted to know more. He had to make sure this woman wouldn't put Naruto through the same kind of pain he'd endured when Sasuke had left them.

Suyo's entire face lit up when she opened the door to Naruto, and she hugged him tight as soon as the door closed behind him. Her smile held open affection, none of the reserve she'd shown in the market. The teenager chattered happily as she fussed over him–deploring the state of his hands, a little tear in his jacket, the chill of his cheeks–then she held his face in her palms for a moment to warm him before hurrying to the stove to get him a cup of tea.

Her back to the boy, she missed the look of near desperate love in his eyes and the way he put his own hand to his cheek as she poured the hot tea, but Kakashi saw both. And he also saw how carefully Naruto made sure his hands were in his pockets and that his usual bright and cheery smile had replaced that look by the time she turned back around.

He'd meant to stay only a few minutes, only long enough to assuage his curiosity, but Kakashi ended up watching throughout the dinner. Their play enchanted him. Ignoring Naruto's grumbling about cooking being a woman's job, Suyo made him help her finish preparing the ramen. When he complained about her announcement that he was to chop the vegetables, she'd pelted him with them and dodged as he threw them back. A minute later he'd pulled two kunai and sliced the vegetables right out of the air as she continued to throw them at him. By the time she finally stopped hurling food at him, the kitchen was a mess and both were covered in bits of vegetation, tears of laughter on their cheeks. Naruto helped her gather the pieces and she washed them off before tossing them into the ramen, again ignoring his vigorous protests at their inclusion.

"My kitchen, my rules," she told him implacably, giving him a stern look with eyes that still twinkled with laughter. "You don't like it, make your own dinner–oh, but wait, you said cooking's a woman's job. So it looks like you're stuck with eating my nasty vegetables, aren't you?" Naruto still scowled–his dislike of vegetables was legendary–but by this time Kakashi was fairly certain he'd have eaten broken glass if Suyo asked it of him.

The pair ate a short time later, cross-legged on cushions, and Suyo kept the boy talking in a lively stream about his shinobi training. Naruto put away his usual massive amount of food, but Suyo only laughed at his insatiable appetite and kept dishing up more. Finally the boy was so full he could barely move, and she teased him about eating seven bowls of the vegetables he'd so vigorously protested. He retaliated by teasing her about various ninja he could set her up on dates with–Iruka, Yamato, Kotetsu, even Maito Gai! (And it didn't escape his notice that Naruto named every shinobi he knew except Kakashi.) She endured it all with bright blushes and finally threatened to stop cooking for him unless he quit trying to play matchmaker. While he backtracked at record speed, she cleared the bowls and surprised him with his favorite treat–a plate of honey-drenched dumplings, which he defied the laws of physics and somehow found room to devour.

By then it was very late and Kakashi was nearly frozen up on the rooftop, but he stayed until he'd seen her cajole Naruto into staying the night in her spare room. Not that the boy needed much persuading. Honestly, he looked half-asleep already as she ushered him to bed. Suyo fussed around the room, turning down his blankets and making sure his pillow was plumped, before dropping a kiss on his cheek and closing the bedroom door behind her. Eyes tightly closed, Naruto held his hand over that kiss as he fell asleep.

Kakashi finally stood when he knew the boy slept. There was only one place left to go.

The lights were still on in Hokage Tower–not a surprise. Much as Tsunade liked to complain about her duties as the village's top ninja, she didn't shirk them… ever. And he had a few questions for her that couldn't wait for morning.

Kakashi bypassed the door and landed on her windowsill instead. She didn't even turn around. "Come on in, Kakashi."

He dropped inside and slid the window closed behind him. She didn't have to say she'd been expecting him–why else would she have left her window wide open on such a cold night? "Tsunade-sama, I'm curious about a woman named Kimura Suyo," he said without preamble.

"Yes, I thought you would be."

Tsunade finally pushed the stack of paperwork away and looked up. "I take it you met her for the first time today, right?" When Kakashi nodded, she smiled. "Yeah, I thought so. I finally told the brat he didn't have to keep that mission quiet anymore and didn't expect it'd take him long to let the cat out of the bag. The secrecy's been killing him."

That made Kakashi raise an eyebrow. "Naruto actually kept a secret? Successfully?"

Tsunade laughed. "Indeed he did. Shocking, isn't it?" She sobered as he nodded. "All right, Kakashi, what can I tell you about her?"

He thought for a moment, a bit thrown by the information that the woman was in some way connected with a top-secret mission, but realized his original questions hadn't really changed. "Who is she, why is she here, and does it strike no one else as odd that her first friend was our jinchuuriki?"

Tsunade smiled and rested her elbows on the desk. "I knew you'd get right to the heart of the matter. Very well, then, I'll tell you what we know about her, and before you ask, we've confirmed all this via our own sources.

"Kimura Suyo was born in Junyato Village in the Land of Tea to a moderately successful merchant, Watanabe Dai. No siblings. From what we can tell, the first twenty years of her life were utterly unremarkable. She married a man from the village at eighteen–Kimura Tadao was a bit below her station, but that's the only thing that was even slightly odd. The two of them ran a tea shop, had a child, the usual. No shinobi training for either her or her husband, no shinobi anywhere in the Kimura or Watanabe family lines."

Tsunade reached into her desk and withdrew a thick folder. She held it before her but didn't open it. "A little over four years ago, Junyato was attacked by a Sound raiding party. The Watanabes were killed in the attack along with anyone else who fought back. The Kimura family and the rest of the survivors were taken to one of Orochimaru's prison camps to be used as jutsu test subjects. Kimura Tadao and the baby were among the first to undergo his human-animal integration experiments, and they died within a month or so. Apparently the death toll for that first group was pretty high, even for Orochimaru, so he altered his methods for the rest of the captives."

Kakashi stood rigid, trying to take it all in. Whatever he'd been expecting her to say, it wasn't this. Tsunade's tone hadn't even changed when she'd gone from describing the woman's peaceful life to Orochimaru's attack and the horrors of her captivity.

The Hokage went on, tapping the folder as she spoke. "About two years ago, I dispatched three ANBU squads to investigate reports that a Sound outpost had been established on the edge of Fire Country. They found ten Sound jounin guarding the remaining Junyato villagers, all of them in various stages of mutilation and most of them on the edge of death from Orochimaru's experiments." She sighed, then tossed the folder to Kakashi, who caught it by reflex.

He opened it and found photographs… pictures of a triple-fenced compound, of squalid little huts, of rows of low cots with shackles attached to the legs, of surgical suites splashed with red, of pampered-looking snakes in glass tanks.

But that wasn't the worst of it. There were pictures of piles of decomposing corpses with missing limbs, or snake heads where their hands should've been, or huge swaths of skin peeled away to reveal scales. There were photos of survivors lying on the muddy ground, bleeding from vicious wounds clearly sustained from kunai and shuriken. Those photos showed the agony and hopelessness in their eyes, eyes that begged for release, for death.

He couldn't look away from that evidence of unimaginable human suffering as Tsunade went on, still in that unemotional voice. "More than half of them were killed when our ANBU attacked because the Sound ninja had no qualms about using them as human shields. After the battle, our field medics managed to stabilize five villagers enough for travel, and those survivors left with ANBU Team 3 to return here for questioning. Those who were too far gone to save were given a painless death when the outpost was destroyed."

His mind whirled. Five survivors from an entire village… as hardened as Kakashi was, the evil Orochimaru was capable of still stunned him. He closed the folder without looking through everything. It was one thing to see such horrors in battle and to study photos like these to prepare for war, but he didn't need to do it now–this battle was long over. And besides, he didn't particularly want to find pictures of Naruto's friend in there. He would much rather imagine glossy, softly scented hair and lovely eyes when he thought of her than see images of a woman mutilated by Orochimaru's twisted ambitions.

"And–and how does Naruto know about any of this?" he finally asked, forcefully pushing those photos out of his mind (although he knew he'd see them later in his nightmares) and refocusing on the reason he'd come. Two years ago when all this had been going on, Naruto had been away from the village, finishing his training with Jiraiya. Kakashi was positive the old sannin wouldn't have let Naruto get anywhere near Orochimaru during that time, determined as he was to keep the boy from going after Sasuke.

"I'm getting to that." Tsunade steepled her fingers before her. She didn't comment on Kakashi's uncharacteristic failure to thoroughly read the file she'd tossed him. "The trip back to Konoha didn't exactly go as planned. One by one, the survivors went crazy and attacked their ANBU escort, refusing to stop until they were killed. Soon only two remained–Kimura Suyo and a teenage girl. The ANBU captain decided to restrain them with a strong genjutsu that would keep them both unconscious, just to prevent any more surprises. When they put Kimura under, the teenager attacked. Her teeth had been modified into poisonous fangs. She managed to kill two ANBU with bites before the rest of the squad were able to put her down.

"I can't really blame the ANBU unit for deciding to kill Kimura after all that, too, even though she was bound and unconscious by then. All the survivors were clearly dangerous. It wasn't their fault–I examined their remains and found evidence that all of them were victims of a powerful genjutsu," Tsunade went on with another sigh. "They had no choice in what they did, but neither did ANBU. I'm sure you understand, Kakashi–they'd lost men and they couldn't be sure Kimura would stay out. But before they could execute Kimura, Naruto intervened. He arrived on the scene and stopped them from killing her."

This time both Kakashi's eyebrows rose. _This_ was what Naruto had called being in the right place at the right time? He hadn't even suspected his student knew what an understatement _was_. "You mean to tell me that Naruto–Naruto, a _genin_–singlehandedly took on an ANBU unit and won?" He didn't even try to keep the incredulous tone from his voice.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all." Tsunade leaned forward in her chair and spoke clearly, emphasizing every word. "Naruto, _disciple of a sannin and jinchuuriki of the Leaf,_ singlehandedly took on an ANBU unit and won. They had coincidentally passed near where Jiraiya and Naruto were camping. Jiraiya was off with some floozies as usual–" this was said with a definite scowl, "–and Naruto was by himself when he heard the commotion of the girl's attack. When he investigated, he saw the dead girl and the ANBU team preparing to execute Kimura, too. To him, seeing Konoha shinobi about to strike down an unconscious, clearly injured woman was unfathomable. His fury and confusion unleashed the Nine Tails' Cloak and he attacked. Luckily he didn't kill any ANBU, but he did leave them fighting about a thousand of his clones while he snatched her away and brought her straight to me.

"We're lucky that she didn't awaken before Naruto got her to me–she would've been quite a weapon, Kakashi. You have no idea," Tsunade continued, shaking her head. She ticked off her fingers as she listed what she'd found. "Poisons in her saliva and blood, blades hidden beneath skin and muscle in places sure to harm medical ninja, explosive tags wrapped around her organs, genjutsus in her subconscious mind that took Kurenai and Ibisu weeks to release, even working together… and that's not the half of it. Naruto returned to Jiraiya after I promised him I would personally protect Kimura and swore him to the utmost secrecy. We kept her heavily sedated and restrained for months while we worked to reverse the damage Orochimaru had done to her body and mind."

Kakashi resisted the urge to reopen the folder to learn more specifics. Somehow, though, it would've seemed like prying. The folder felt heavy in his hand, weighted with the suffering she must've endured. He shook his head, unable to find anything to say.

Tsunade crossed her arms on the desk, apparently deciding he wasn't going to speak. "If you're wondering if it was worth the trouble, it was," she said, clearly misunderstanding his reaction. "When I finally risked letting her regain consciousness, Kimura gave us a lot of excellent intelligence and quickly earned my trust. As you can imagine, she had invaluable first-hand knowledge of what Orochimaru was working on, and despite the hell she'd endured, she didn't hesitate to tell us everything she knew. When Naruto returned to Konoha a few months later, it didn't take much for him to convince me to let her go."

This was all too much. Kakashi sank into the chair before the Hokage's desk, thunderstruck. He'd been right–Naruto's friend had quite a history–but he could never have guessed just how dark it was. The haunted look in Suyo's eyes when she'd said she owed Naruto her life… the casual wave of Naruto's hand when he'd dismissed it with a casual, _naah, that wasn't a big deal…_ both replayed in his mind. How had he ever thought his student was insensitive and prideful? "And you decided to let her settle in the village?" he murmured, shaking his head, stunned by it all. "You're that sure she's harmless?"

Tsunade shrugged, settling back in her own chair again. "In a word, yes," she said simply. She indicated the file he still held, but when he didn't reopen it, she didn't press him to do so. "After Kurenai and Ibisu neutralized Orochimaru's genjutsu, she never showed the slightest sign of dangerous intent. She submitted to every mind scan and test we wanted to do, answered all our questions. Everything she told us matches what we were able to find in our own investigations. Ibisu even performed a deep brain probe and found no traces of deception or anything that could be dangerous to Konoha.

"Naruto vowed to keep an eye on her if I let her stay, but really, I'd been trying to think of a way to release her once she was healed up enough anyway. It wasn't right for her to be imprisoned like a criminal–she was a victim. But I didn't think it was appropriate to let her go back to the Land of Tea, either. Whatever Orochimaru was up to, she's the only remaining link to it. It's not unreasonable to think he'd try and take her back. I wanted her protected." She shrugged again and spread her hands. "Letting her settle here, under Naruto's watchful eye, gave me a way to let her have some freedom and keep her safe at the same time. So, yes, I took it."

Kakashi rubbed his face through the mask. No wonder the woman loved Naruto so much–he really had been her savior. "Well," he said lamely, then rubbed his face again. She let him think through it all before he arrived at the only question that remained. "All right, Hokage-sama, what are your orders regarding Kimura Suyo now?"

She smiled. "As of now, she's a citizen of Konohagakure, with all the rights thereof," she said, holding out a hand and accepting the file he returned to her. "Naturally, everything in this file is still classified, but she has complete freedom within the village. Naruto watches her for anything suspicious, but after a year in the village, I'm not very worried she'll suddenly go psycho on us. And honestly, I like the relationship she's built with Naruto. Like any other villager, she's not to leave the village without my permission, which between us, I'll never give. I'm sure you understand why. But other than that, there are no special orders."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said. He got to his feet and moved back to the window. "Thank you," he added before opening it and taking his leave.

As he jumped across the rooftops to his own flat, Kakashi had much to think about. Much as the revelations he'd learned from Tsunade filled his mind, he kept returning to the dinner he'd witnessed before coming to Hokage Tower. Whenever Suyo wasn't looking, Kakashi had caught glimpses of that same look on Naruto's face he'd first seen when she'd poured the tea. It was difficult to define, that expression. Sad… thrilled… hungry… protective… joyous… terrified, all by turns. Behind them all was an intense, fierce love and longing that Naruto clearly thought he hid so well.

Well, Kakashi decided as he let himself into the barren rooms he called home, he might be hungry and frozen, but the evening's discomfort hadn't been a waste by any means. He'd learned what he needed to know. This woman seemed to care as deeply for Naruto as he did for her–no easy task with the boy's hyperactive and occasionally abrasive personality. It wasn't all gratitude, either. Despite Naruto's flaws, Suyo had genuinely enjoyed the boy's company tonight. He was glad. He wasn't sure Naruto could survive having another person he loved betray or abandon him, and there was no way in hell that Kakashi would let him suffer that again.

Because he knew exactly how it felt. Between his father's death and his inclusion in a genin team of his own, Kakashi had become well acquainted with the loneliness of having no one who gave a damn if he lived or died. He'd felt it again after his teammates and sensei were killed, leaving him alone once more. When he became an ANBU assassin, at least his superiors cared about him, but only in his official capacity as the village's most efficient killing machine. It wasn't much of an improvement. In uniform he was invaluable, but out of it, Kakashi had still been invisible.

Because he had nothing else, ANBU became his life, and in it, he spent nearly every waking moment dealing death. Because he had nothing else, it hadn't taken him long to stop caring if he survived his next mission or not. Only the mission mattered, only eliminating his target interested him, and if he had to die to complete his assignment, then so be it. At least then he'd be reunited with everyone he'd ever cared about and his pain would end. That cold disregard for his own life had transformed him from a formidable assassin to a terrifying one, and earned him his own entry in the Bingo Books of every shinobi village.

_The Copy Ninja, Warrior of 1000 Jutsu, Kakashi of the Sharingan Eye– At All Costs, Do NOT Engage!_

And because he had nothing else, he'd taken pride in that fear and notoriety.

It was Jiraiya who'd petitioned the Third Hokage to have him transferred out of the assassin corps before he lost whatever was left of his soul. At the time, Kakashi had complained bitterly about what he saw as an incomprehensible move. He'd successfully completed more S-ranked missions than any other shinobi in history, and with fewer casualties than any other ANBU captain. His name struck terror into the hearts of his adversaries on the battlefield. He'd gained honor and respect for Konoha, made the Leaf Village's ANBU corps the most feared in the world. More than any other ninja, Kakashi was a legend. And now they wanted to take him off the front lines and make him babysit brand new genin?

It was a infuriating waste of his skills. He'd rejected the first eight teams given him. None of these genin had what it took to survive as shinobi. Was he really supposed to teach these worthless kids?

But Team Seven had changed all that. They'd been the first to pass his test, and once he'd resigned himself to actually being their jounin-sensei, it hadn't taken him long to realize Jiraiya and the Hokage had been right. Life was a damn sight better with those three genin than it had ever been in ANBU. Over the two years Kakashi had mentored them, his team had nagged him, laughed with him, argued over his decisions, played practical jokes on him, impressed him, frustrated him… in short, they'd changed his life beyond all recognition in every way. He was no longer an emotionless automaton, no longer merely a killing machine, though he would kill or die without hesitation for Naruto or Sakura… even, if he were honest with himself, if that was what it took to bring Sasuke back.

Because of them, he was no longer alone.

And because of that, he would do whatever it took to make sure Naruto wasn't alone, either. Standing in his empty apartment, Kakashi made a silent vow. As long as he was around, he would make sure nothing and no one came between Naruto and Suyo.

As he poured boiling water into a cup of instant ramen–surely nothing close to the ramen Suyo and Naruto had made together in her laughter-filled little kitchen–he suddenly wondered how often that same desperately longing look would've shown on his own face if he didn't wear his mask.

And he wondered how he could ever have thought Kimura Suyo wasn't beautiful.


	3. Just a Hobby

**I still don't own the Naruto franchise or any associated characters/plots, which is deeply sad. This was written for fun, not profit. R&R, enjoy!**

As the winter deepened, Kakashi began noticing Suyo every so often when he made his way through the village. He never approached her, content to watch from a distance as she ran her errands or walked through the park, sometimes catching a hint of her fragrance when the breeze played with her braid or the sound of her voice when she worked her shift at a tea shop or chatted with the villagers. She spent a lot of time with Naruto when he was in the village, sometimes hosting Sai and Sakura for dinners as well as Naruto. Never did Kakashi catch her doing anything suspicious… but he still watched.

He wasn't being a stalker, really–it was more like a hobby. Since Naruto and Sakura were often away with Yamato on missions, Kakashi had much more spare time on his hands than he was used to. The Hokage wasn't taking any risks with him after the extended hospitalization he'd required after the Suna mission. When he finished the relatively simple A-ranked missions she gave him (simple for him, anyway), she had started keeping him in the village for a few days of enforced down-time before assigning him anything new.

Kakashi didn't react well to boredom and never had, despite his carefully cultivated lazy image. The novelty of having several days in a row where no one tried to kill him wore off quickly. He'd trained for hours on end until Tsunade had caught him at it and ordered him to stop–"You're supposed to _rest,_ dammit, not exhaust yourself more!" Even Gai wasn't around much to entertain him with his challenges since Konoha was still shorthanded and all the jounin were incredibly busy. The inactivity chafed at Kakashi's nerves. He supposed that observing Suyo was as good a way to pass the time as any… never going out of his way to do so, of course, only when he noticed her on his usual route through the village.

But to his surprise, after a few weeks of his casual recon, Suyo began to notice him, too. That was rare enough to stop him in his tracks every time she'd suddenly turn as if feeling his gaze on her. He wasn't used to being noticed. The feeling was… amazing.

No, that was an understatement. _She_ was amazing. How on Earth could she tell when he was watching her when the most highly trained ninja of a dozen villages could never detect him? It became almost a game for him, seeing how long he could watch her before she sensed him. Her bright grin and wave once she'd searched him out never failed to make him smile in return, and even though his mask kept her from seeing his expression, she seemed to sense it all the same. And she never hesitated to walk up to him and start up a conversation, sublimely confident of her welcome, as if it never occurred to her that he might turn her away or be too busy to talk.

It never occurred to him, either. No matter what was going on, he made the time for her… not that he was overrun with pressing engagements, which was sort of the problem. But even if he had been, he still would've stopped to talk. He would never be too busy for those rare moments in her presence when he wasn't invisible. It was a feeling he'd forgotten, if he'd ever known it, and it was one Kakashi savored. One he soon began to crave as he looked forward to every chance encounter, no matter if he was late to several of the check-ups Lady Tsunade had insisted upon because of it. It was well worth the scoldings he received.

Besides, it wasn't like anyone ever expected _him_ to be on time anyway.

"How's Naruto's training coming along?" Suyo invariably asked when they met. "Is he working hard for you?"

Regardless of whether Naruto was working hard or not, Kakashi never said a word against the boy to her. "He is a singular shinobi," Kakashi usually replied if he had nothing positive to report. It wasn't quite a lie–Naruto was definitely one of a kind–and it kept him from having to tell her anything that might paint her hero in a less than perfect light.

Of course, when Naruto _had_ learned a new jutsu or excelled on a mission, Kakashi always made sure to pass that information on. To give the boy credit, Yamato's reports always indicated that Naruto was truly working hard. When Kakashi passed on Yamato's words, the glow of joy and pride on her face almost made his own frustration seem worthwhile.

And at the end of every conversation, Suyo repeated her invitation that Kakashi accompany Naruto to dinner any time he had a free evening.

He was tempted. Deeply so. Those too-rare moments in her company always warmed him but never lasted long enough. He was always left wanting more–more of her smiles, more of her attention, just simply more time with this woman who made him feel human–and those dinners were the tantalizing promise of all of it. But although every so often he returned to his perch on the rooftop to watch them eat (but never for long, lest her uncanny ability to sense him give him away) he never took her up on her invitation to join in the dinners that were always full of laughter and play.

In truth, the lighthearted joy of their visits was the main reason Kakashi didn't quite dare to come. Although she never showed any of the awe or fear most villagers felt in Kakashi's presence–amazing in itself, because of her history–he didn't want intrude on Naruto's time with her. It was too clearly precious to him. More than once Suyo persuaded the boy to stay the night, kissing his cheek as Kakashi vaguely recalled his own mother doing in his earliest memories. And after she closed the door behind her, invariably Naruto held the cheek she'd kissed as he slept.

No, he wouldn't disrupt that. Watching from a distance and the occasional friendly conversation were all he could have–were more than he'd ever had before–and he made himself be content with them.

Spring had just blossomed when Tsunade summoned Team Kakashi to her office for the first mission Kakashi had accompanied them on in weeks. They were to leave at once to escort a Leaf Village noble to a business gathering at the Village Hidden In the Mists. Kakashi gave Sai, Naruto, and Sakura an hour to gather their things and make ready to go, then went to his own flat to do the same.

He frowned as he left his flat forty-five minutes later. This would've been a C-rank mission if the noble hadn't received several death threats, which technically bumped it up to a B-rank… barely. It was still below Team Kakashi's skill level. While still glad to be back with his team, he was more than ready for Tsunade to stop coddling him.

He was almost to the gates to meet the others when he caught sight of Suyo's long, glossy braid through the crowds of villagers in the street. Instinctively, he leapt into a tree to hide amid the branches and watch her. Only a few minutes passed before she stopped mid-step and scanned the street, clearly sensing him. "Amazing," he whispered, coming out of hiding as he always did when she noticed him. How on Earth did she _do_ that?

Suyo laughed as he approached, but her smile faded when she saw the pack on his shoulders. "Off on a mission, then?" she said, her tone determinedly light, but he saw anxiety take root in the sudden tension of her shoulders.

He didn't like it, not at all. Despite the time pressure, Kakashi had to try to reassure her. "Yes, we were assigned a short one. I'm on my way to the gates to meet Naruto and the others now. It's just a standard escort mission, should be pretty dull," he added, hoping to erase the fear from her eyes.

Suyo nodded as she fell into step beside him, but her knuckles were white from gripping the handle of her basket so tightly and he knew he hadn't eased her mind. Her tone remained as light as she could make it, though. "I bet Naruto's excited. He's been telling me for weeks that he's dying to have you back on the team again."

"It's taken longer than I'd thought to convince Tsunade-sama to reunite us," Kakashi admitted. "Yamato-san's an excellent shinobi, but you know Naruto–he wants the original Team Seven back together, at least as much as possible."

"You've certainly got that right," she agreed with a smile, and it looked more genuine this time. "He looks up to you very much, Kakashi-san." He smiled, giving her the happy little eye-crinkle that indicated the expression. "How's Naruto's training coming along? Is he getting any better at those healing jutsus you've been teaching him?"

Kakashi nodded as the village gates came into sight, glad as always to pass on good news. "He's doing very well. We'll keep working on them during this mission. He's getting better at healing minor cuts and fractures, and he's genuinely fantastic with burns, but his biggest problem is during practice–unless he's got a real injury in front of him, he finds it hard to maintain his focus on the jutsu. And Hokage-sama and Sakura-chan are understandably hesitant to let him practice on the wounded shinobi in the hospital."

"He used one of them on my finger when I cut it last night. I'm not sure which one of us was more surprised when it actually worked. He'd been telling me how hard the healing jutsus were all through dinner," Suyo said, holding up her index finger. He saw the faintest of silver scars across the pad of her fingerprint. He was impressed–it looked like a years-old scar, not a fresh injury. A little more practice and Naruto would be able to heal such things without leaving any mark at all.

Kakashi looked down at her as they stopped beside the enormous gates. She tried to maintain her smile, but she didn't quite look at him. That was a dead giveaway that he hadn't made her feel the least bit better, as if he needed more confirmation–never before had she hesitated to look him in the eye. With a sharp sense of irony, he suddenly found himself wishing that he was more like Maito Gai. The jounin drove him crazy most of the time, but he had an uncanny knack for comforting people with a few words and a casual touch.

_A casual touch…_ the words echoed in Kakashi's mind. When had he ever known such a thing? All his life he'd been almost as alone as Naruto–first avoided in awe as the genius son of the legendary White Fang, then scorned in the shadow of his famous father's shameful failure, and finally isolated by his own formidable skill as the youngest jounin in Konoha's history. Kakashi just wasn't the kind of man people casually touched… not if they wanted to keep their limbs intact. Without some kind of experience to show him how such things were done, he didn't quite dare try to take Suyo's hand or pat her shoulder to comfort her. After all, his skills had always run more along the lines of terrifying others than reassuring them, a fact he'd never regretted before this moment.

Kakashi put his hands in his pockets instead, empathizing with Sai more than usual. "We'll just be gone a short time, and nothing about this mission should be dangerous," he said, lying a little in his attempt to comfort her and wishing he knew the words to steal her fears away. "I'll look after Naruto for you, although I promise you he can more than take care of himself in a fight. You mean a great deal to him. He wouldn't want you to worry."

She finally looked up and met his gaze, and he read the relief in her eyes that he'd spoken her silent fear aloud. The tight knot in his chest loosened a fraction. "Thank you, Kakashi-san," she replied, bowing her head. "Thank you for everything you've done for him. He's brought light back into my life. I know he's a shinobi warrior, not a child, but I can't help wishing I could protect him from the world."

_And I hope, for his sake, that you never stop feeling that way,_ Kakashi thought, but he kept those words inside. He remembered Tsunade saying her son had been killed by Orochimaru and knew she feared losing Naruto the same way. How could he reassure her that the boy would be fine when Naruto truly was a target?

"Please, try not to worry," he repeated, then turned at the sound of approaching footsteps. Sai, Sakura and Naruto were still a good distance away, but Naruto waved when he saw the two of them standing there and broke into a run. "Well, looks like you'll get a chance to send him off. If you don't mind me saying so, if you wanted to hug him, it would mean the world to him," he added, remembering how careful Suyo was to ensure that she and Naruto were alone for any displays of affection. He thought it all too likely she didn't know how rare such things were for Naruto. The boy probably wouldn't care if the whole world saw him get a hug, so happy would he be just to get it… and it would probably do Suyo a world of good to give it. "And if he does complain, I'll tell him it's his duty to endure it for your sake."

She laughed and raised her head, and though the laugh was a little shaky, her eyes were dry–apparently she was stronger than she seemed. "Again, thank you," she said, and to his surprise she winked at him. "I guess sometimes there's still a child inside a shinobi, eh?"

"Especially in his case," he agreed, and then Naruto was skidding to a stop before them.

"Hey, Suyo, I was hoping I'd see you! Looks like you've already heard the good news–we're finally going out on a mission again!" he said, grinning and giving her the thumbs-up. "Exciting, huh?"

Her face was full of affection as she smiled back at him. "Exciting for you, but who will I cook for until you get back?" she teased. Her lighthearted tone amazed Kakashi. If he hadn't known better, he never would've guessed that moments before she'd been on the verge of tears. "I'll have to cut my shopping lists in half."

Naruto laughed. "You could always get Iruka-sensei to come over," he suggested with a sly little grin. "I bet he'd fall on his knees and beg you to marry him if you made him your special ramen."

"Naruto!" she gasped, playfully swatting at his shoulder and blushing deeply, making Kakashi suspect the boy's former sensei was the current front-runner in his constant quest to get Suyo to go out on a date. "I'm not looking to marry your sensei, thank you very much! I worry enough about you–I'd be silver-haired in a month if I had two shinobi to worry about."

Naruto laughed again at her reaction. "Naah, he's always in the village, teaching the academy kids. C'mon, invite him over! All the girls say he's cute and I know you'll get along great once you get to know him better," Naruto persisted, making Suyo go even redder. Sakura and Sai stopped beside their sensei, looking curiously at Suyo's fiery expression.

Kakashi cleared his throat loudly. "That's enough, Naruto. It's impolite to make a lady blush." The boy made a face at the reprimand, but Suyo squeezed his shoulder and he was all smiles again at once.

Kakashi knew he needed to distract Naruto before he started matchmaking again. "All right, team, it's time to get our heads in the game. You've all got your gear? Ready to leave?" he asked. The three nodded and readjusted their packs on their shoulders. "Good. I see our client now. Suyo, it is always a pleasure to see you," he added, giving her a little bow.

"And you, Kakashi-san," she replied politely, bowing back. Then she turned to Naruto and bit her lip to stop its quiver. Suddenly she grabbed Naruto and hugged him hard, pressing her cheek to his wild blond hair as her hands fisted in his jacket. "Naruto, you take care of yourself, obey your sensei, and come see me the instant you get back," she whispered fiercely. "The _instant,_ do you hear me?" And then she released him and hurried back toward the village with her head down, leaving Naruto looking shocked at her unexpected ferocity.

"What was that about?" Sakura asked, craning her neck to watch Suyo walking away with her arms wrapped tight around herself, the basket hanging crooked from her elbow. She slapped Naruto on the back of the head. "Naruto, you moron! Why did you have to nag her about Iruka-sensei like that? She looked like she was about to cry!"

"But I–I tease her all the time and she never reacts like that," Naruto said, rubbing his head and staring after her, his wide blue eyes thunderstruck. The slap didn't bother him–he had to be used to Sakura smacking him around by now–but he was clearly crushed at the possibility that he'd made Suyo cry.

Suddenly his eyes narrowed and he rounded on Kakashi, fists clenched. "Hey, wait a minute! Kakashi-sensei, you were talking to her before we got here. What the heck did you tell her about this mission, anyway? Did you scare her by saying this was going to be dangerous?"

Kakashi held up his hands to deflect Naruto's anger. "Whoa, easy there. Of course I didn't say anything like that. In fact, I told her this mission was likely to be pretty boring. But she loves you like a son, so she'll worry about you no matter what. Now, are we ready to go?" he asked, readjusting his own pack and pretending not to see Naruto's face first freeze, and then light up with stunned joy at those words. "I'd rather not keep our client waiting any longer than we have to."


	4. Underneath the Underneath

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating–my internet connection has been deeply sucktastic and unreliable lately. For those who need warnings of such things (other than ROMANCE in the subject, duh), lemons are on the horizon. This should be blatantly obvious to anyone who reads this chapter. (Sorry, BadSakura, you've gotta wait until NEXT chapter to actually read any lemony goodness–hey, anticipation's good for ya, right?) I think the T rating should still cover it, but if anyone thinks I need to bump the rating, please let me know, ta muchly. Also FYI, occasional mild OOC-ness may occur from this point on–of course I don't think so, but if I did, would I have written it that way? **

**As stated before, I still don't own Naruto, associated characters, canon plots, or a Ferrari. Still written for fun, still not making any profit off it. Please keep reviewing, my darlings, flames will be used to toast marshmallows, and now on with the show…**

The night was old and the moon almost down by the time the exhausted Team Kakashi passed through the gates into the Hidden Leaf Village a week later. Sakura supported Sai while Kakashi carried Naruto on his back. "Take him to the hospital, Sakura," Kakashi told her, frowning at the barely-conscious genin's still-bleeding arm. Sai was shivering non-stop and it wasn't all due to the unseasonable spring cold snap. "Tsunade-sama should be able to do something about that venom and get the bleeding stopped. I'll take care of Naruto and we'll meet up at the Hokage's office tomorrow, all right?"

"Right," Sakura said, nodding sharply. She alone showed no wounds from their fight with the snakes that had attacked them just outside the village gates.

Sai hadn't been so lucky. The snakes had come literally out of nowhere, a summoning trap triggered by nothing more than walking across the cursed patch of road. The serpents had been all over him before any of them had realized the severity of the unexpected attack. To his credit, Sai had taken out the one that had bitten him almost instantly, but by the time its severed head hit the ground, a dozen others had sprung from nothingness to take its place. With his arm bleeding heavily and all but useless, Sai hadn't been able to use the cartoon jutsu that were his specialty, but still he'd fought like a lion.

Naruto had been magnificent in the battle, as had Sakura. The giant snakes, each twenty feet long and thicker than a man's thigh, made for quite a fight. Sai collapsed within minutes as the venom tore through his body. Enraged at the sight of the snakes closing in on Sai while he lay helpless, Naruto had lost control of his always volatile temper. That was why he was unconscious now–Kakashi, upon seeing the Fox's blood-red chakra cloak starting to emerge, had sent a powerful surge of his own chakra through the seal Jiraiya had given him and slapped it on Naruto's forehead. It brought the demon back under control, but it also knocked Naruto out cold.

With two teammates now unable to fight, he and Sakura had managed to finish off the last of the snakes on their own. Then Kakashi had used his Sharingan to find the curse marks on the road while Sakura attempted to stop Sai's bleeding. It had taken the Mangekyo to neutralize the jutsu, a technique which exhausted him in the best of times. He'd used too much chakra to do it, but he hadn't hesitated. Only once Kakashi was certain there was no further danger would he allow his team to enter the Hidden Leaf Village and the safety it represented.

Orochimaru's trap, set literally right at the village gates, was a taunt they couldn't ignore. Kakashi knew Sakura would report it to the Hokage immediately–a break with protocol, since the team leader should really be the one reporting in, but there wasn't much help for it. Kakashi was simply too worn out to be much use to anyone right now. All he wanted was to dump Naruto in bed somewhere so he could collapse and let the oblivion of sleep replenish his severely depleted chakra.

He shifted Naruto on his back as his gaze fell on the spot where Suyo had hugged him so fiercely before they'd left on this mission. "Come see me the instant you get back," she'd commanded, holding the boy like she'd never wanted to let him go. "The _instant,_ do you hear me?"

Her worried face swam in his mind's eye, along with vivid memories of what she'd been through and all she'd lost. Despite his attempts to reassure her, Kakashi knew she'd been worrying for the last week and wouldn't stop until she'd seen for herself that Naruto had returned in one piece.

Kakashi sighed and changed his direction, already coming up with reasons for his choice as he headed toward her building instead of Naruto's. It would be better for Naruto to be with Suyo than alone in his own little flat, anyway, and Kakashi was positive she'd be glad to have him stay in her spare room until he regained consciousness. Then she could fuss over him and feed him something that didn't start its life in a styrofoam container, and they'd all feel better for it.

And seeing him would take the fear from her eyes. Not that her eyes had anything to do with Kakashi's decision, of course.

It didn't take long to arrive at her building. He had to do a little calculating in his head to make sure he knocked on the right door–until now, he'd only looked through the window on the opposite side of the building. After a moment, a light came on inside and shone beneath the door. There was an instant's delay where he imagined Suyo looking through the peephole, wondering who was calling on her at three in the morning, before the locks clicked and she flung the door open wide.

"He's fine, I promise," Kakashi said hurriedly before she could panic at the sight of Naruto slung unconscious over his back. "This blood isn't his–it's from some snakes we fought. He barely got a scratch."

"Then why–why's he–" Her voice was strangled, nearly inaudible, but he understood her question.

And he had absolutely no intention of answering it. He still wasn't sure if Suyo knew of Naruto's connection to the kyuubi, and he certainly wouldn't be the one to volunteer that information if she didn't. "He just needs some sleep. The fight wore him out," Kakashi replied instead, hoping his tone was soothing and confident enough to allay her worries. "He'll be as hyper as ever in the morning, I guarantee it. I hope you don't mind that I brought him here," he added, mentally kicking himself. Too late he realized that the sight of the boy covered in blood might remind her of things best left buried.

Pale as milk, Suyo ushered them inside, hand pressed to her throat. After the door was closed behind them, she took a shuddering breath and spoke again. This time, her voice sounded almost normal. "Of course I don't mind, Naruto's always welcome here–so are you, Kakashi-san. Please, bring him this way. I've got a spare room where he stays sometimes," she said, speaking too fast as she led him across the living room. He pretended not to see how her hand trembled when she reached for the doorknob. "Your wrist is bleeding–what about you? Are you all right?"

Kakashi lowered Naruto carefully onto the bed. "Yes, we're both fine," he said, straightening with a barely-repressed groan of relief. Carrying him had aggravated the only injuries he'd sustained in the fight, a pair of shallow lacerations on his shoulder and one on the back of his wrist. Luckily for him, they'd come from the snakes' razor-tipped tails–he'd been luckier than Sai and managed to avoid their poisonous fangs. "We just got a few scratches. Trust me, it looks a lot worse than it actually is."

He started to pull the covers over Naruto, then paused at the sight of the blood on his orange jumpsuit. Although he'd told Suyo the truth and the vast majority of it came from the snakes they'd vanquished rather than the boy, he couldn't tuck him in like this–the blood would ruin her bedding.

But Suyo stopped him before he could tug Naruto's jacket off. "Don't worry about that–I'll get him cleaned up while you have some tea and warm up by the fire. You look frozen solid. It can't be more than a few degrees above freezing out there tonight. When I'm done with him, I'll take care of you."

Kakashi followed her out of the spare room but didn't sit down when she indicated the cushions before her little fireplace. "_Arigato,_ Suyo-chan, I appreciate the offer, but it's nothing. I'll let Naruto practice healing them tomorrow," he demurred, but she ignored him as she tossed another log on the dying embers and prodded the fire back to life.

"I won't take no for an answer," she said firmly over her shoulder as she went into the kitchen and began making him some tea. "Please, make yourself comfortable while I tend to Naruto. You'll be able to warm yourself, and then I'll bandage you up."

Her concern had already warmed him. Kakashi looked around the little room, trying to distract himself from the strange and unfamiliar tightness crowding his chest. Despite his exhaustion, it actually invigorated him. It felt surreal to actually be inside after watching from the neighboring roof so many times. Now, with the building silent around them and the night pressing at the windows, the apartment felt far too small and intimate–especially with Suyo bustling around the kitchen in her short robe with her long hair spilling loose down her back. Her legs were bared to mid-thigh and for a moment he couldn't tear his gaze from them… until he saw the scars.

He was no stranger to scars. But Suyo had more of them than any shinobi he'd ever seen.

Thin slashes bisected both calves. Star-shaped scars marked the back of each knee. More thin slashes followed her hamstrings up the backs of her legs, and deep silver lines cut parallel across her outer thighs. When she turned, he saw broad bands of smoothly healed skin over the front of her knees, as though the skin had been sliced away in strips. Beneath those, twin rows of tiny, round dots ran the length of both shins. The markings branched out along the line of each of her foot bones all the way down to her toes… which had no toenails, just bare tips.

But the scars on her ankles were different from the others. Thick, ugly bands of twisted flesh encircled them, and he didn't have to guess what had caused those.

After all, he'd seen the shackles in the photos.

Kakashi stared in horror at the evidence of what she'd been subjected to in Orochimaru's prison camp. Rage momentarily crashed through his veins at the thought of this gentle woman enduring such torture.

Her hands were still shaking as she put the kettle on the stove, and the sight helped him to push aside his fury. In its wake, the urge to take her in his arms, to comfort her, to chase all her fears away and swear to protect her forever, crashed over him. He actually took two steps toward her before he managed to stop himself.

What was he thinking? He wasn't the type to give out hugs and comfort.

It had to be his fatigue that was making him think this way. He had to get out, had to escape before he did something completely insane. "You're very kind to offer me first aid, but I couldn't inconvenience you," he said, moving toward the door.

Suyo spun around with surprising speed and got there first. Kakashi raised an eyebrow as she blocked his path. "I'm not kind, I'm stubborn," she told him, pointing firmly at the cushions in front of the fire again. "And you're not an inconvenience. I already told you I won't take no for an answer. Please stay, Kakashi-san, or…" She paused, obviously trying to think of a threat that would intimidate a jounin, then suddenly laughed. "Or I'll be forced to tell Naruto that you hurt my feelings. Heaven knows what mischief he'd come up with to punish you for it."

_Good threat_. He gave in and let her usher him back to the fireplace. "Well, I would hate to have to endure the wrath of Naruto," he sighed, sinking down on the thick cushions she plumped for him. Heat seeped into his chilled hands as he held them before the flames. "I'll surrender, but you should know it's only because you blackmailed me."

Suyo laughed again and returned to the kitchen. A moment later, she returned with a steaming cup of tea. It smelled wonderfully strong, just like he liked it. "Thank you," he said as he accepted the cup.

"I'll take care of Naruto while you drink your tea," Suyo said, straightening up. "I'll announce myself before I come back in, all right?"

She was giving him privacy to remove his mask so he could drink the tea, he realized, and would give him enough warning that he could replace it before she returned. So many people had tried almost anything to see what he hid beneath the mask, but Suyo was respecting his privacy. "Thank you," Kakashi murmured again, meaning it this time. She smiled and disappeared into Naruto's room.

Kakashi drank his tea slowly and listened to Suyo moving around in Naruto's room. She'd sweetened the tea without asking, as if knowing he needed the extra jolt of energy. He closed his eyes after he finished it and breathed deeply, his mask still down around his neck, letting his tired mind wander.

That soft scent he'd first detected when Naruto had introduced Suyo was stronger in here. No matter how he tried, he still couldn't identify that indefinable _something_. A combination of wildflowers and sweet dumplings, perhaps–or was it tea and clean linen? Whatever it was, the aroma always clung to Suyo. He wished he could bottle it and carry it with him, because it was the loveliest thing he'd ever experienced.

Tugging his mask back into place dampened the scent and he pushed aside a pang of remorse at its loss. The fire crackled and he concentrated on that instead. Shifting just a bit put his back against the curved side of a hutch, and he stretched his legs out before him to soak up the fire's heat and closed his eyes.

It couldn't have been longer than a few minutes before he heard Suyo tapping at the doorframe of the spare room. "I've finished the tea," Kakashi said, raising his head so she could see that his mask was back in place. "And it was wonderful, just what I needed. Thank you."

Suyo nodded as she crossed the distance between them. He took the opportunity to survey her, to make sure he hadn't upset her unduly by showing up here bloodied and beaten–but he had, he realized at once. Her eyes, slightly reddened as though she'd been crying, were still steady as she surveyed him from head to toe. Still, she didn't show any sign of fear or hesitancy as she stopped beside him. His admiration for her strength went up another notch–she didn't suppress her emotions, only found a private place to release them. And she didn't try to hide from him that she'd done so.

But she _had_ chosen to hide her scars, and Kakashi realized with a flash of guilt that she must've seen him looking at them. She'd put on a longer robe, one that fully covered her legs, and had pulled on socks to conceal her feet and ankles.

Shinobi wore their scars with pride, knowing each was a testament to their strength and a reminder a victory in battle. But there was no pride or victory in scars like Suyo's.

"Now you can tell me what happened while I tend to you," she said, interrupting his thoughts, and he saw she carried a bowl of clean water and a roll of linen bandages on a tray.

"Really, I couldn't put you to the trouble–" Kakashi began, the refusal automatic, but Suyo stopped him by simply dropping to her knees beside him and placing her fingers across his lips.

"Shh," she murmured, then winked at him again. "Don't make me sic Naruto on you."

But Kakashi barely heard her. The soft pressure of her fingers through the cloth of his mask sent an unexpected jolt of electricity down his spine.

And with that jolt came the realization of why he'd never come here with Naruto.

Oh, not that he'd ever lacked reasons. Kakashi had a thousand of them. The greatest hits played through his head anew. At first he'd been certain that Suyo had only invited him out of courtesy, knowing he'd decline. Once it became clear she was sincere, he'd reminded himself that she didn't really know what he was like. No one in their right mind would want him around for a social event–he was just a little too strange, even for a jounin, and his social skills were nonexistent at best. While Suyo had managed to keep her dinner gatherings fun even when Sai and Sakura were bickering and Naruto was bouncing off the walls, Kakashi wasn't sure she was ready to deal with him.

If that hadn't been enough to dissuade him from accepting, all he had to do was remind himself of what she'd been through before settling in Konoha. The Land of Tea had no hidden village, no shinobi force of its own. The first time Suyo had ever seen a ninja, they'd destroyed her village and murdered her parents. Then she'd spent two years in captivity and torture at the hands of those same shinobi and been forced to see her husband, child, and nearly everyone she'd ever known die. When the Leaf's ANBU had arrived and taken out the Sound shinobi, they'd ended up killing the last remnants of her village en route to Konoha rather than rescuing them. Amazingly enough, Suyo had never seemed frightened around any of the other shinobi so frequently seen around the village despite all this. Still, he couldn't quite believe she could ever fully accept any ninja other than her savior, Naruto.

Which brought him to the most important reason of all. Kakashi told himself he stayed away because the time Suyo and Naruto spent together was so clearly precious to him. Naruto quite literally glowed with happiness when he was with Suyo, and she loved him unconditionally as no one ever had before. Kakashi himself had vowed not to let anything or anyone disrupt the friendship Naruto needed so badly. He loved Suyo with all his heart and might've been jealous if he had to share her.

But now Kakashi knew all those reasons had merely been layers of excuses to hide a far more disturbing truth.

He hadn't accepted any of her invitations precisely because of how badly he yearned to accept them, and he didn't know how to handle that. It was because she confused him, this civilian who'd endured more than many jounin and yet somehow still managed to keep her heart open. It was because she never once lost her temper at Naruto's hyperactivity, Sai's unintentional insults, or Sakura's habit of punching one or both of them over the dinner table. It was because she could somehow sense when Kakashi was watching her and yet didn't seem to mind… in fact, she smiled whenever she caught him at it. It was because she was one of the strongest people he'd ever met despite knowing exactly nothing about jutsus or battle, and he admired her as he'd admired few people in his life.

In short, it was because _Kakashi_ was jealous of _Naruto_.

Just once, damn it, for once in his violent, barren life, he wanted to have someone look at him and really _see_ him–not White Fang's son, not the ANBU Hound, not Sharingan no Kakashi, not the false front he'd created of the jaded, lazy, chronically late porn addict, not even as a ninja. Somewhere in there, under all of that, there was a man who was tired of being invisible. Fed up with being the perfect emotionless shinobi.

And Suyo's lovely green eyes always saw him, no matter how he tried to hide.

Kakashi closed his eyes for an instant, mentally reeling. He didn't need to wonder why he'd created such an elaborate mesh of rationalizations to hide this from himself–he might be in denial, but he'd never been stupid.

It was because he didn't _want_ to know it. He had _never_ wanted to feel like this.

He had exactly no tools for dealing with this kind of thing, and that flatly terrified him.

So much for his famous insistence on looking _underneath the underneath_.


	5. One Word

**A/N: First things first–Lemons ahoy! **

**Thanks so much for the reviews, everyone! For those of you who asked, don't worry, Naruto's opinion on all of this _is_ coming, I promise. Right now he's just a little too unconscious to speak up. But yanno, he's gotta wake up sometime.**

**Normal disclaimers still apply–still don't own Naruto, still wish I did, R&R, enjoy…**

Oblivious to his sudden inner turmoil, Suyo gave him a little smile and let her fingers slide away. The caress almost made him groan aloud. "Just give in," she told him, a hint of both laughter and steel in her voice. "It's much easier."

And Kakashi knew he couldn't deny her anything.

She took his silence for the surrender it was. Studying him from head to toe one more time, she finally reached out and took his injured hand. She tugged the glove from it before dipping a cloth in the water and beginning to gently cleanse the deep scratch at the base of his wrist. "So what happened?" she asked as she washed the wound. "I thought you didn't anticipate any trouble with this mission."

It was difficult to concentrate with his hand cradled in her much smaller one. Over so many years of near isolation, he'd become utterly unused to the feel of skin-on-skin contact. Her palm was soft, free from the calluses and scars of a shinobi, her touch gentle and warm. On the heels of his revelation, it was nothing short of intoxicating.

He focused on the slight pain of the cut to clear his mind. After a moment, he was able to answer her in a tone that almost sounded normal. "No, the mission was completely routine, as expected. We finished it without any problems at all. It was only when we returned here that we were attacked."

Suyo bit her lip before ducking her head, ostensibly to look more closely at his cut. She was silent for a long time. Her hands stilled for a moment before she finally spoke in murmur that very deliberately didn't tremble at all. "You mentioned snakes when you arrived… Tell me the truth, please, Kakashi-san. Was the Sound here?"

Though she tried to hide it, Kakashi sensed her fear as clearly as he had the day he and Naruto had spoken to her at the gates. This time he didn't hesitate to reach out to her, though. Cupping her chin in his uninjured hand, he raised her face until she met his gaze. "Listen to me, Suyo. You are safe here in Konohagakure. Sound ninjas wouldn't dare show their faces here. There are no enemies waiting outside the village walls," he said firmly, willing her to believe it. _"_We neutralized a trap that was a bit more difficult that we'd anticipated, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

The naked fear bared in her eyes was not echoed in her voice, and for some reason, her iron control hurt his heart. "Yes, I'm sure. And even if there were, I would never let anything happen to you. Nor would Naruto," he added, remembering too late that he shouldn't reveal too much of his newly discovered feelings until he figured out what to do about them.

Suyo studied his exposed eye hard as though looking for any trace of deception. Finally, she sighed and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered, looking down at the cut and resuming her ministrations with shaking hands, and finally there was emotion in her voice–relief. "Forgive me, Kakashi-san. I'm no brave warrior like you or Naruto. I suppose I'm still adjusting to living here."

"Suyo, there is nothing to forgive." She had more reason to fear than anyone he knew. How could she worry he'd think less of her for such a natural reaction? Her softness and gentleness were a precious quality to protect, not something to be ashamed of. He never wanted her brave and hardened like a kunoichi–she was perfect exactly as she was.

But he didn't know how to say any of that to her, so Kakashi reluctantly let his hand fall away from her face in silence. His skin tingled where he'd touched her. Had he ever touched her before this? He wracked his memories as she began wrapping his wrist in bandages, and finally concluded that he hadn't. Now that he had, all he could think of was doing it again.

His gaze caught on her unbound hair, that thick, pure black curtain, and his fingers twitched with sudden longing. Yes, _that_ was what he wanted to touch, to feel the silken strands spilling through his fingers, wrapped around his wrists. He wanted to tangle his hands in it and hold her close. Wanted to drag her hair over his bare skin and let her scent brand every inch of him, bury his face in it and breathe her in… Just the thought of it was enough to send a surge of heat through his entire body. He forced his breathing to slow, knowing these thoughts could only lead to trouble if he didn't control them soon.

Silently reciting one of the disciplines for suppressing emotion he'd learned in ANBU, Kakashi concentrated on squashing his feelings and desires back into the deep pit where he'd buried them before. They fought back, stubbornly unsquashable, and every time she touched him as she finished bandaging his wrist, he got hopelessly muddled and had to start all over. He closed his eyes and redoubled his efforts, determined to win this fight. If he didn't, he knew he'd end up doing something extremely stupid.

His eyes flew open when he felt Suyo's hands on his chest. She unzipped his shinobi vest and started to push it off his shoulders, murmuring, "This needs to come off so I can treat those cuts on your shoulder, all right?"

Cuts–? He'd completely forgotten them. Despite knowing that her intention in undressing him was completely innocent, merely to expose his injury for first aid, his heart rate kicked into overdrive. All he could do was nod as he finally gave up on the useless mental discipline that wasn't doing a damn thing to help. He supposed he was just too tired to give it the attention it needed or something.

It'd have to be willpower, then. Good thing he had lots of that.

Kakashi couldn't tear his gaze away from her face as she pulled the vest off his arms. Suyo reached for his sleeve next. The fabric barely hung on at the seam, and when her fingertips brushed his skin as she helped him tear the ruined sleeve away, he had to grit his teeth against a burst of pleasure at her touch. The intimacy of the moment seared him–the room lit by the fire and a single lamp, the building silent around them, her hands barely touching him as she bared his skin.

She scooted closer, just an inch or two, but that was enough for her unique scent to surround him once more. His breath caught, quickened… and it struck him suddenly that they were completely alone for the first time. Naruto didn't count–he was sleeping so deeply he might as well have been a rock. Every time Kakashi had ever spoken with her, they'd been in public, surrounded by villagers. But now–now no one was watching. No one was waiting to interrupt. Anything could happen now and no one would know… Kakashi tried not to think about it, but it was as if the realization had lit an inferno in his veins. Right now, with Suyo so close, he found it impossible to think of anything _but_ that.

Willpower wasn't turning out to be much use, either.

Every muscle in his body was wound tight with anticipation. He wondered if he'd be able to stand it when she touched his shoulder to bandage the cuts or if he'd just lose his mind. Suyo leaned across him to tend the slash and her hair slipped over her shoulder, only inches from his face, sending a wave of fragrance over him.

And it turned out that he didn't need her to touch him to lose his mind.

Kakashi didn't think before he did it–thinking seemed a bit beyond his capacity at the moment anyway. He just moved, leaning those few inches nearer, nuzzling into the dark fall of her hair and letting that beautiful scent invade his senses. The heat inside him sizzled higher. He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against her hair, her throat, shivering with a delicious combination of fear and anticipation as he waited for her reaction.

But it wasn't enough. The cloth covering his face kept him from feeling her the way he longed to. Suddenly the mask he'd lived with so long he barely noticed it anymore was an intolerable barrier. Still not allowing himself to think–God, all he _ever_ did was think–he reached up and tore the mask from his face so he could _feel._

Suyo went utterly still as he pushed the mask down to hang loose at his throat. His uninjured arm came around her and he finally, _finally_ slid his fingers through her hair, the hair he'd been watching for so long, thinking about incessantly for so many weeks, and he pressed his bare face to her skin as she whispered, "Kakashi?"

He felt his name as a vibration in her throat. It kicked the air from his lungs. Her skin was warm silk beneath his cheek, her hair cool satin on the other. Every breath surrounded him in that intoxicating scent that belonged only to her. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed with the rush of sensation, a tidal wave of scent, and touch, and… he pressed his mouth to her neck… oh, God, _taste_… and he knew he'd officially gone way beyond _stupid_ with this one. "Tell me no and I'll leave," he murmured against her skin, praying she wouldn't say it, praying he actually had the strength to leave if she did. "I'll go now and never bother you again, I swear it."

Her breath came as fast as his own. Was it from fear? He didn't move–_couldn't_ move. Frozen, every fiber of his being wrapped up in her and hoping like hell she wouldn't push him away, he tried to memorize every detail of how she felt in his arms. If all he ever had of her was this, at least he could relive it in memory.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he heard the soft sound of the cleaning cloth tumbling to the floor. Hesitant hands found his shoulders, then slid down to rest flat on his chest. She must be able to feel his pounding heart beneath her palms–would she realize what this meant to him? Could she know how badly he wanted, _needed_ her not to deny him this? His world stopped on its axis as she took a shaking breath to speak.

And the word that she whispered was, "Yes."

It took a moment for it to sink in that she wasn't sending him away. When it did, his breath rushed out in a shaking groan. He didn't dare question his good fortune. Before she could change her mind, Kakashi pulled her fully into his lap and covered her mouth with his.

He didn't even try to tell himself that he would just take one kiss and get her out of his system. New as his revelation was, he still knew better.

One kiss would _never_ be enough.

Suyo opened to his kiss without hesitation. He licked inside, shuddering down to his toes when her tongue stroked and caressed his in return. The wet silk of her mouth enchanted him and he hungrily explored, claiming her, taking everything she would give. God, how long had he wanted this? How long had he ached for her, dreamed of her without even daring to admit it to himself? He kissed her again and again, drowning in her taste and passion and heat, and if he was dreaming, he desperately prayed not to awaken. Both hands buried in her hair now, holding her prisoner, utterly owned by her, awed and so damn hot he could barely breathe, Kakashi let go of everything else and let himself drown in sensation.

Long, deep, intoxicatingly passionate kisses. Her taste, sweet and earthy and uniquely hers–a cocktail he'd never forget if he lived to be a thousand. Masses of thick, silken hair in his hands, flowing down his forearms, falling over her shoulders to tease his bare arm with whisper-light caresses. Suyo in his arms, on his lap, leaning against his chest, her heart keeping time with his in bounding leaps. Her hands tracing fire over his back. The soft, yielding curves of her body, with none of the sharp angles and muscles of a kunoichi, pressed against his much harder one.

Most of all, overlaying everything, that scent that spoke to him of peace and sweetness and now desire. God, so much desire that he was crazy with it, drunk on it, utterly addicted to it, and with every gasp or sigh or little moan she made, he went higher and higher, kissed her again and still wanted more, and knew that even if he lost himself in her he would still crave _more_.

He could never get enough. Never. _Mine,_ some animal part of him growled, his hands tightening in her hair as if to bind her to him so she could never get free, and much as he tried to instantly erase the thought from his mind, it wouldn't go. _Mine!_

Was she? Could she be? Something deep inside him tightened unbearably at the too-tempting thought. What could he do to convince her–? She nipped his lower lip then and coherent thought was lost to him.

There were only the kisses then, and the heat, and almost unspeakable pleasure.

He had no idea how much time had passed–not enough, that was all he knew–when the sound of a muffled gasp from across the room brought him back to himself.

_Naruto!_

And with that one sound, reality came crashing back to Kakashi, bringing back all the things he'd shoved from his mind–the battle outside the village gates and the exhaustion of his near total chakra loss. The trickle of blood from his unbandaged shoulder. The cool air against his _unmasked_ face. When had he last let his guard down so completely?

And he became fully aware of just how intimate their embrace had become. He realized that at some point he'd moved and Suyo was stretched out on the floor beneath him, her breast soft beneath one palm, her body cradling his as he pressed himself desperately against her, aching to feel her with every inch of his skin. Her hands were buried in _his_ hair now, holding tight, as if he'd ever try to escape.

Most of all, though, came the memories of Naruto's loneliness, his despair, the desperate love and need laid bare on his face when he thought Suyo wasn't looking, and Kakashi's own vow not to let anything tamper with Naruto's relationship with this woman.

God, what the hell was he _doing?_

But before he could pull away from her, to try and figure out how to deal with Naruto's inevitable fury, there came an almost silent, retreating footstep that was followed by the soft click of the spare room's door closing.

Kakashi froze, hardly believing it. Naruto… had left? He'd just turned away and _left_ after seeing his sensei practically making love to the woman he thought of as his surrogate mother? It made no sense!

Her hands tightened in his hair and desire roared back to life inside him. He kissed her once more–long, hot, and deep–all the while cursing the return of reality. Damn it all, Naruto or no Naruto, Kakashi wanted to fall back into that realm of sensation, the all-consuming _feeling_ that had transported him to a world where Suyo was all that existed.

But he couldn't. The world had never stopped just because he wanted it to. He broke the kiss with a deep groan but didn't pull away. "I should go," he whispered as everything in him screamed the opposite.

She smiled–he felt the curve of her lips against his. "Why?"

That whisper of a smile, the warmth and welcome in her voice, the softness of her body beneath his… it all made him curse himself for even thinking of leaving. But reality, once awakened, wasn't so easily banished again. He'd been right–he'd known he'd do something deeply stupid, but if he stayed now, he'd be worse than stupid.

Suyo and Naruto were family, and he was pushing his way in where he had no right to be. If he was actually going to try and make this work, he had to make things right with Naruto first.

And for the first time in his life, Kakashi thought he might actually have a chance at it.

Ignoring his body's outrage, he helped her to sit up beside him before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her softly again. Pulling away to tug the mask back into place was one of the hardest things he'd ever done. He answered her question on a groan. "Because I want to stay."

She didn't understand–he could tell she didn't. But she didn't say anything. Her arms wrapped around his waist, Suyo rested her forehead against his, not seeming to mind the cold metal of his headband against her skin. She stayed like that for a long moment before finally nodding, accepting his withdrawal. "At least let me bandage that shoulder before you go," she said, at last releasing him so she could reach for the discarded bandages.

He started to refuse, but when Suyo looked up at him with those beautiful green eyes still sparkling and her cheeks pink and her lips puffy from his kisses, he simply lost his voice. Dear God, how had he ever thought she was plain? Her beauty in that moment knocked him flat. If she'd asked, he would've done anything she wanted–swam the oceans, been her slave, hunted for treasure, conquered the world, anything. But all she wanted was to heal him, so he meekly sat still for her to wrap his shoulder and didn't say a word.

He wasn't sure he could. Right now the only word in his head was _mine._ And despite all the logical and valid reasons that word was wrong, it felt so very right.

Too soon, she tied the ends of the bandage and sat back on her heels, studying him with those sparkling eyes. Finally she reached up and traced the outline of his mouth through the mask with a fingertip. "May I see you?" she murmured, and her soft smile didn't hide the vulnerability exposed by the question.

As before, the touch of her fingers through the cloth sent a shuddering wave of heat through him. No, he corrected himself, not like before–_nothing_ like before. Now that he knew the taste of her and how perfectly the soft curves of her body fit beneath him, the longing was stronger, the desire hotter and much harder to fight. "Next time," he breathed, and he thought that if she really knew what those words meant to him, it would probably scare her to death.

And the last thing Kakashi wanted was to frighten her. Tonight's events terrified him enough for both of them.

So he left as dawn crept into the sky, exhausted and exhilarated, his body aching from battle and chakra loss and the sweet, urgent desire to turn right around and go back to Suyo, and he tried not to think about Naruto at all.


	6. Can't Help It

**A/N: Yes, my lovelies, the time has finally arrived… time for Naruto's much-anticipated reaction! Oh, I think he'll be just thrilled, don't you? _*evilsnicker*_**

**I also put up a poll on my author page. Give me your thoughts. Seriously, folks, there's only 2 votes and more than 400 hits!**

**Also FYI, don't expect updates quite as quickly as these last three from here on in. This segment of the story was just clawing at my brain, demanding to be written and posted, so I gave in. The Muse, she is cranky when thwarted, and therefore I obey the Muse. So while I hope you all enjoyed getting a new chapter every other day, it'll slow down from here on. Sorry 'bout that! But reviews always make me update faster. Yes, that's a hint.**

**Normal disclaimers apply–don't own it, not profiting from it, etc, etc, just read it, 'k?**

Team Kakashi met the next day outside the Hokage's office, and for once, Kakashi was only a few minutes late–despite his exhaustion, he hadn't gotten an instant's sleep. He had to force himself to concentrate on giving the Hokage their official report, filling in what Sakura had already reported in the early morning hours. She was especially interested in the summoning jutsu he'd neutralized and asked him what seemed like dozens of questions about it. Through it all, Naruto was completely silent.

And that was downright eerie. _Silent_ and _Naruto_ were words rarely if ever uttered in the same sentence.

When Tsunade finally finished her debriefing, she told the team they were being put on standby for at least a week so Sai could heal. For once, no one complained about the downtime. Kakashi led them to the training grounds as he usually did on days when they weren't going out on a mission, but he was too tense to be able to enjoy finally being back on his team. An explosion was coming–he could feel it like thunderheads brewing.

And the longer Naruto waited, the worse Kakashi's anticipation grew.

He would normally have had Naruto begin practicing his healing jutsus again, especially since Kakashi had a few minor cuts he could practice on. Today that clearly wasn't an option. Since Sai's bandaged arm wouldn't be up to sparring for days, Kakashi instead set his teammates to learning an A-rank invisibility genjutsu that had come in handy during several of his more… _action-packed…_ ANBU missions. The three of them sat cross-legged on the grass and began to concentrate on the new technique after his demonstration.

Soon the only sounds were the calls of the birds and the whisper of the breeze through the leaves. The wooded training field was usually one of Kakashi's favorite places to relax, especially when his team wasn't annoying him, but for once, its silence was anything but reassuring. Kakashi flipped his book open and stared blankly at the pages as everything continued to go smoothly.

It was driving him _crazy_.

How the hell could Sai and Sakura just sit there and not notice Naruto's bizarre behavior? He wasn't even complaining about how difficult this jutsu was, nor did he so much as scowl when Sai managed to fade to a hazy outline after only two hours of practice. Normally he'd be yelling that it wasn't fair and accusing Sai of cheating, then he'd try to start a fight, which would cue Sakura to jump in and punch one or both of them to shut them up. Today… nothing. Sai faded, Sakura congratulated him, and Naruto just… sat there. Concentrating. Training. Being, to all outward appearances, perfectly calm.

The peace and quiet screamed along Kakashi's nerves, tightening them to near battle-level tension. If there was one thing Naruto wasn't and had never been, it was _perfectly calm_.

Sakura finally spoke up after another hour had passed in silence, and Kakashi was so relieved that _someone_ else noticed how strange Naruto was acting, he could've kissed her. "What's got into you, Naruto? Did you get sick and lose your voice or something?"

"I'm fine," Naruto replied shortly without even opening his eyes.

She dropped her hands and leaned forward, frowning at him. "No, you're not fine," she persisted. "You're usually chattering a mile a minute and wrecking everyone's concentration. What gives?"

Naruto completely ignored her–another never-before-seen event. He usually hung on her every word, even when she was yelling at him for being stupid or screwing up. "Leave him alone and enjoy the quiet while it lasts," Sai told her as though sensing she was about to start nagging him again. "We may never get to see him practice this seriously again. Don't mess it up."

Sai was right–Naruto was being an ideal student, and Kakashi couldn't take another minute of it. He had to get this out in the open before the waiting drove him insane. He stashed his book–all the words were running together before his eyes anyway–and faced the blond. "Perhaps you have something you'd like to say to me, Naruto?"

Naruto finally opened his eyes to glare at his sensei. It was all Kakashi could do to maintain his usual bland expression in the face of that barely repressed fury. "Yeah," Naruto growled, speaking at last. He shoved to his feet, both fists clenched so tight they shook. "Actually, I have a lot to say to you, _teme_."

Sakura's jaw dropped at his rudeness. "Naruto, what is your problem? Don't you dare speak to Kakashi-sensei like that!" she yelled, jumping up and aiming a punch at his stomach.

Kakashi stifled a sigh… just as he'd suspected, this wasn't going to go well. While Naruto was usually a bit disrespectful to his sensei–his habit of referring to Jiraiya as the "Pervy Sage" came to mind–it was usually just Naruto's odd way of showing affection.

Calling Kakashi a bastard was a far cry from affectionate.

Naruto avoided Sakura's attack with a simple jump, and Kakashi intercepted her before she could swing again. This had nothing to do with her, so despite restraining her with both hands, he never broke eye contact with Naruto. "Well, now's your chance," he said mildly, ignoring Sakura's even more surprised expression that he hadn't so much as blinked at the insult.

Still, he couldn't help but notice that even Sai looked somewhat interested by now–probably making mental notes for his continuing study of human emotion. Great.

Naruto just stood there for a minute longer, eyes blazing, before spinning on his heel and stalking off through the trees. Sai and Sakura both turned to stare at Kakashi once he was out of sight. "What's gotten into him, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, rubbing her knuckles as if itching to land that punch he'd avoided.

It was a question Kakashi had no intention of answering. The last thing he needed was his entire team ganging up on him, and he recalled too late how often Sai and Sakura had gone to dinner at Suyo's. Would they be as possessive of her as Naruto was? Damn, he really hadn't thought things through enough before he'd kissed Suyo last night.

Who was he trying to kid, anyway? He hadn't done _any_ thinking that originated above the waist last night. "Just stay here and work on that jutsu," he ordered, turning his back and setting off after Naruto. "I'll take care of Naruto–and I'll know if you follow even if you _are_ invisible."

He didn't have far to walk to catch up with Naruto. The blond had stopped in a little clearing just out of earshot of the others and was staring up at the sky as if searching it for answers. Kakashi stopped a little out of Naruto's reach… just in case… and waited for the inevitable explosion, wondering how long it'd take him to vent all the fury vibrating from his body.

But he didn't speak, didn't attack, didn't even move–Naruto showed no reaction to Kakashi's arrival at all. This silence was somehow exponentially more unbearable than it had been at the training grounds. Kakashi wanted to break it, to say, _It's none of your business_ or _I don't care what you think_ or even _I'm sorry,_ but the words wouldn't leave his throat. None of them were true, anyway. The whole reason he'd left was that Suyo _was_ Naruto's business and Kakashi _did_ care what he thought. And he couldn't tell the boy the only thing for which he was genuinely sorry–leaving Suyo's apartment with a bad excuse when he'd so badly wanted to stay.

At least he'd felt this heavy atmosphere before and knew what to expect. The anticipation was always the worst part of any battle–the fears, the what-ifs, they were always more terrible than any actual fight. Besides, as bad as this was likely to be, at least he could be grateful for one thing. Naruto's retreat meant there wouldn't be an interested audience listening as his student verbally handed him his ass.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck with a silent sigh. The _verbal_ part was a fervent hope, but he didn't think there was much chance things wouldn't turn physical by the time Naruto was finished expressing his displeasure. He'd always been more comfortable communicating with his fists than with words. Kakashi knew his hands were pretty much tied if it did turn out that way. Somehow, beating Naruto into submission didn't seem like the wisest course of action to take if he ever wanted to get close to Suyo again.

Oh, yeah, this was not going to be fun.

But when Naruto finally spoke, he didn't shout. His words were a growl so low Kakashi barely heard him. "You'd just better make her happy, _teme_."

Of all the things Naruto might have said or done, this was perhaps the only thing Kakashi hadn't even considered. "I–um–what?"

Naruto spun around, and this time when he glared, it was with the blood-red eyes of the Demon Fox, and when he growled, it was through a mouth full of fangs. "I said, you'd _better_ make her happy. If she cries one tear over you, I'll kill you."

The sight of those ferocious, bestial eyes sent a shiver down Kakashi's spine. He'd expected something like this–Naruto had always been hot-tempered, and the more pissed-off he was, the more likely he was to show some of Nine Tails' characteristics–but this didn't match up with what he was saying at all. It sounded… it sounded almost as though… was this some twisted way of Naruto giving his blessing?

Surely not. Kakashi just couldn't be that lucky. "You know, I… well, I'm a little confused here, Naruto. Aren't you going to tell me to go jump off a bridge or something?" he said, taking a few cautious steps nearer to his student while still tensed to leap back at any second. Hey, he might've decided not to fight back if Naruto attacked, but that didn't mean he wouldn't _dodge_ like hell. When he wanted to, Naruto could punch _hard_… and if he laid hands on his sensei right now, the look in his enraged eyes said that there'd be nothing left but a smoking crater.

Naruto snorted. "What does it matter? I might as well learn to live with it. It's not like you'd actually buzz off if I told you to."

Shock froze him for a moment. Naruto actually _was_ giving his blessing! But Kakashi would've been a lot happier about it if Naruto didn't still look so furious, and he briefly considered telling him that he'd decided to do just that–to abide by Naruto's decision, whatever it was–that the entire reason he'd left was to give Naruto the chance to make that decision.

The words died in his throat. He probably wouldn't believe Kakashi if he told him, anyway, and it'd probably be better not to tempt the boy into telling him to leave Suyo alone. Then he'd have to actually do it and that would be pure hell, but Kakashi _would_ do it. He'd given his word, even if it was only to himself.

Besides, he had no illusions about who Suyo would choose should it come to a contest between the two of them. Naruto wouldn't lose the precious friend he needed so much, but the choice would hurt her badly. And Kakashi would _not_ hurt her, not for any reason, and especially not for something as selfish this. "I didn't plan it," he said instead. "What happened… it just happened."

Naruto snorted. "Bullshit. You plan _everything._ I'm sure this was no exception." His glare sharpened, and behind the fury in those red eyes, Kakashi could suddenly see how worried he was for Suyo. "Still, she didn't have to go along with it, and while I might not be a porn freak like you or the Pervy Sage, even I could tell she was. So what do you want from me? Do you want me to say I'm okay with this? Whatever. Fine. But I'm warning you, you'd better not just be fucking around. She's been alone too long and I won't let you play any of your mind games with her."

Kakashi took another step closer–he was in range now, but he no longer thought Naruto was likely to take a swing at him. "I would never do that to her. I know how hard it is to be alone." After all these years, that knowledge was practically embedded in his bones. "But she has you, Naruto."

Naruto shook his head once, hard. "And they call me stupid? She's lonely, _baka_. She needs more than just a kid to hang around with. I've known it since Grandma Tsunade let her out of the hospital–why do you think I keep trying to set her up on dates? But damn it, I _never_ wanted her to be with you. Whatever you think, whatever _she_ thinks, you're all wrong for her," he said through gritted teeth, and despite anticipating this, Kakashi winced. Anticipated or not, it still wasn't any fun to hear.

Turns out his student didn't need to hit him to hurt him. At least he'd gone from _bastard_ to _idiot_. He supposed he could focus on that as progress, of a sort.

But Naruto wasn't done twisting the knife. "Suyo's got a soft heart and you're going to break it over and over without even trying because that's just who you are. You don't take anything seriously. You hide behind those pervy books all the time instead of actually dealing with people. You spend all your free time inventing new ways to kill. You're always late. You don't talk enough, and when you do, it's either that _underneath the underneath_ crap no one understands, or it's some stupid, flimsy lie. You never share anything personal about yourself. And you're gone all the time on missions, either with us or on A and S-rank stuff by yourself, and that's gonna make her worry like crazy. And you know what's the worst part? I don't think there's a damn thing you can do to make any of it the slightest bit better."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck as his student listed his faults. "Ouch," he said, trying to pull off a light, unhurt tone and not quite succeeding. It would've been easier if the boy hadn't been right on the money with every single complaint. He didn't want any of that to be true. Especially the part about breaking her heart. Was he really so awful? "You know, you're sending out some mixed messages here. If I'm that terrible, why _aren't_ you telling me to get lost?"

Naruto shrugged and looked up at the clouds once more, back to Kakashi again. "I guess maybe you're not completely terrible," he said, and the lack of enthusiasm in his tone was less than comforting. "I mean, she has to see _something_ in you. I just thought she'd be happier with Iruka-sensei instead, because he's fun and friendly and I thought he'd make her laugh. Besides, he's at the Academy instead of going out on missions, so she wouldn't have to worry so much. And if they'd hit it off…" Naruto trailed off, then sighed deeply.

Kakashi winced again, not needing him to fill in that blank. If Iruka and Suyo had gotten together, it would've been a perfect little family unit for Naruto. He felt a bit guilty for wrecking his student's dream. That was almost certainly a big part of his anger.

But when Naruto looked back down and met Kakashi's gaze, his eyes were blue and clear again, his fury gone. "But it's not up to me, you know? She's had a thing for you since the first time you met. She tried to hide it, but I could tell. She likes Iruka-sensei all right but she never invited _him_ to dinner, and I couldn't get her to _stop_ inviting you." He shrugged at the shock Kakashi couldn't quite keep from showing. "And you've had a thing for her since then, too. Don't even bother denying it because you wouldn't be freaking _stalking_ her otherwise–or did you think no one noticed?"

Um… actually, that was exactly what he'd thought. So much for being a genius jounin.

Naruto snorted again at whatever expression Kakashi's eye now reflected–he was momentarily so rattled he couldn't even hazard a guess. "Not that your little scene by the fireplace left much doubt that it was a mutual thing," Naruto finally finished his tirade, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I thought I'd walked into one of the Pervy Sage's stupid _Icha Icha_ books."

Kakashi felt himself blushing and was yet again grateful for the mask. He rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to think of some kind of reply and failed utterly. What _could_ he say to all of that? _Gosh, you're right, it felt like an _Icha Icha_ book–a best seller–and incidentally, how long have you known I was stalking Suyo, not that I am, because I'm not?_

No, that probably wouldn't go over very well. Unfortunately he wasn't coming up with anything better.

Naruto held his gaze as he struggled, not letting him off the hook. Without the familiar blaze of anger, the seriousness on his usually smiling face was unnerving. In that moment, Kakashi could clearly see Minato in his son. "She's got scars, sensei," he said quietly.

Kakashi remembered the state of her legs and could only imagine what the rest of her body bore. "So do I, Naruto."

Naruto sighed as though Kakashi's reply hadn't satisfied him. "They're not like your scars and they're not all on her skin. Did you talk to Grandma Tsunade?"

He nodded, trying not to remember those horrible photographs. "Tsunade-sama gave me the file. I know what she's been through," he said, wishing he didn't.

"You don't," Naruto countered flatly. Kakashi read shadows of terrible memories in his usually carefree blue eyes, shadows that reminded him of Suyo's on that day at the market. "Trust me, you really don't. So just… when you see her… be kind, okay?"

Kakashi nodded silently again, once more embarrassed and lost for words. On top of everything else, was his teenaged student really giving him tips on how to act if he saw Suyo naked? Surely he couldn't expect a response to that. It already felt like his sleep-deprived brain was melting just trying to talk about emotions without throwing sex into the mix.

Thankfully, Naruto went on before his agony got any worse. "Anyway, if you're serious… if you're not just playing around… if you even care about my opinion… I suppose I don't mind too much. But she's cried enough, sensei," he growled, the glare returning. "You didn't see her when she first got here, after she lost everything. Those months in the hospital were hell for her and I don't ever want her to suffer like that again. So if you hurt her…" The fox's red chakra glinted for a moment around him, a hint of the power he could unleash if he wished–a threat that needed no words.

Kakashi closed the distance between them and reached out to tousle the boy's hair. At the last instant, he changed direction and laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder instead–man to man, instead of sensei to student. "I do care what you think, Naruto," he said, and he wondered if he would ever convince Naruto of that. "And I have no intention of hurting her, or taking her from you, or playing games with her feelings. I just… she's…"

His voice trailed off as he struggled to find the words to express something he barely understood himself. Naruto was right. Kakashi's comfort zone was blood and destruction, jutsus and screams and death, and there he excelled. _Life_ was utterly alien territory, a place he'd rarely if ever been. He had no idea how to express what was happening inside him. "I couldn't help it," he finished lamely, knowing it wasn't good enough, but without a clue what else to say.

Naruto held his gaze a moment longer, then finally shrugged. The tension immediately lightened. "You've just been hanging out with the Pervy Sage too much," he said, and a ghost of a smile accompanied the words.

Kakashi returned the smile with a rush of relief, sensing that somehow, he'd managed to bring Naruto from fury to reluctant acceptance even though he hadn't explained himself very well at all. "Something like that," he agreed, knowing that even if he'd had a month to prepare, he'd still couldn't have chosen the right words. Thank goodness Naruto had managed to listen deeply enough to hear what Kakashi would probably never be able to say. "So, are you done giving everyone the silent treatment and ready to practice now?"

In answer, Naruto made a hand sign and vanished perfectly.


	7. Broken

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, everyone! And extra special chocolate-covered-Kakashi-flavored thanks go to o0-Constance-0o for helping me beat this stubborn chapter into submission–it only took me, what, four tries to get it right? *headdesk* By the way, people, o0-Constance-0o knows a thing or two about writing some wicked-hot Kakashi yaoi! If you haven't yet checked out her fic Stupid Mistake, you are SO missing out. Link's in my favorites. Go. Read. Enjoy… but don't forget to turn up your A/C first.**

**Just sayin's all.**

**Alas for me that I couldn't decide on a good spot to chop this insanely long chapter in half, but yay for you because you get a reaaaaaaaaally long chapter. I expect reviews for this indulgence. Don't disappoint me. ;)**

**In other news, please continue to consider the disclaimer appropriately disclaimed.**

Kakashi didn't keep his team at the training grounds much longer. Four hours of practice was ridiculously short by any standards, but they were all exhausted. Well, perhaps not Naruto–nothing ever seemed to wear him out, except maybe a ten-bowl ramen binge. But after that little chat they'd had in the woods, whatever reserves of energy had been sustaining Kakashi had vanished and it was all he could do not to fall asleep against the tree.

When the sun touched the horizon, he was relieved to call a halt to the day's training. Now all he had to do was manage to get from here to his bed… which meant he should probably stand up at some point. He sighed and didn't move. Why did getting up seem like such a Herculean task?

Sakura offered to escort Sai back to the hospital to make sure he took his medicine. Of course she called it "keeping him from having to wait in line," but no one was fooled. Naruto lingered, staring at Kakashi as the two of them walked away. He crossed his arms when his sensei just continued sitting at the base of the tree, not showing any apparent signs of following them. "You planning on getting moving any time soon, sensei?" he finally said when the silence had stretched too long. "You're not getting out of coming this time."

Kakashi rubbed his weary eye, then reached beneath the hitai-ate to get Obito's eye, too. They felt full of grit, like he'd just spent a month in Suna. "Coming where?"

The blond's gaze sharpened, stopping just short of a glare. "I thought you weren't playing around with Suyo."

He froze, then lowered his hand to stare at Naruto. What had he said or done to make him think that? Hadn't they already thrashed all this out? "I'm not," he said, genuinely surprised.

"Then you're coming," Naruto told him flatly. When Kakashi still looked lost, he sighed and rolled his eyes. He explained as though speaking to a very small and particularly dim child. "Damn, sensei, you have to be the dumbest stalker I've ever heard of. Whenever I'm not on a mission and Suyo's not working the evening shift at the tea shop, she makes dinner for me and whoever else tags along–remember? Tonight, _whoever tags along_ is you."

Oh yeah–now he did remember, but damn, did Naruto really expect him to have the energy for that now? Kakashi barely bit back a groan of utter weariness. "Naruto, I'm not up for social stuff tonight," he said tiredly, choosing not to comment on the _stalking_ thing again. He painfully got to his feet and rubbed at his bicep, only one of the myriad old wounds that always ached when he was this exhausted. He couldn't even remember what this original injury had been. Right now it felt like some sadistic bastard had wrapped spiked chakra wire around his arm and was tightening it unmercifully. Much as he actually did want to see Suyo, what he really _needed_ was a couple of painkillers and a long spell of uninterrupted sleep. "I haven't even gone to bed since we got back. I'll see her tomorrow, I promise."

"Nope, not good enough," Naruto said, planting his feet in a position Kakashi knew so very well and dreaded so very much–when he did this, he was not going to back off, period. Privately Kakashi thought of it as Naruto's Pose Of Ultimate Stubbornness, and he lived up to it now as he laid out his reasoning with the bull-headed obstinacy that was his _nindo_. "You're the one who wanted to do this thing, and I told you okay, so I've gotta make sure you do it right. And that means you're gonna stop blowing Suyo-chan off and come to dinner tonight. Not tomorrow. Not next freaking week, not after you read your stupid book again, not whenever you get back from some mission somewhere, but _now._ So get your ass in gear, _Bakashi-_sensei."

This time Kakashi did groan aloud, but he didn't argue any further. Annoying as it was to admit it, Naruto was right. _He_ was the one who'd started this, and as such, Kakashi had to at least try and manage a decent follow-through.

Besides, a shinobi should always know when to stop fighting a losing battle.

He ignored the bad feeling in his gut before nodding and forcing his aching body into motion. Amazingly, he only swayed on his feet for a moment before managing to catch his balance and follow the teen back into Konoha.

But Naruto didn't lead him to Suyo's building. Kakashi only realized that when he stopped to keep from walking over Naruto and saw his own building in front of them. The blond jerked his chin up toward Kakashi's apartment. "You look like hell and you stink," he told him. His flat, cool tone was really starting to grate on Kakashi's nerves. "Do something about it. I'm giving you ten minutes, and this time you'd better not be late."

Again, he decided that arguing was probably more trouble than it was worth. He just nodded and trudged up to his door, climbing the stairs like a civilian because he was simply too low on chakra to do his usual leap up to the open landing. Once inside, he stripped as he walked to his bedroom, letting the dirty uniform pieces lay where they fell and wondering how he could've been so filthy without realizing it. He forced himself not to look at his bed–_God, he was tired_–and opened his closet instead, wondering if he should dig to the back and find out if he even still had any civilian clothes. In the end, he just pulled on another uniform. It'd take too long to find anything else, it'd probably be hideously out of style, and he wouldn't know himself without the kunai pouch and flack vest and hitai-ate anyway. At least the uniform was clean.

Exactly ten minutes later, he'd splashed water on his face, downed a hideous double-strength cup of instant coffee for much-needed energy, brushed his teeth to kill the aftertaste, and jumped the balustrade to land beside Naruto… who now held a bouquet of flowers he definitely hadn't had before.

"Whaaa–?" Kakashi had been more eloquent in his time, but he'd rarely been more surprised than when the boy thrust the flowers at him like he was planting an explosive tag on an enemy. He took the tissue-wrapped lilies–it was that or have them rammed down his throat–and finally found the energy to smile. "Naruto-kun, I'm touched. I never knew you cared."

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't be such a smart ass. And I expect you to pay me back for those–_and_ convince Ino that I didn't get them for Sakura-chan."

Kakashi didn't have a chance to reply before the blond spun around and stalked off down the street again. He just followed, utterly bemused as they walked the blocks in silence. For someone who'd been dead-set against his sensei dating Suyo, Naruto was certainly determined not to miss a trick in his role as matchmaker tonight.

A bad-tempered, foul-mouthed, fox-whiskered, teenaged blond Cupid. It might've been funny if Naruto wasn't so serious about it.

And then every ounce of his brief moment of good-spirits vanished as the caffeine slammed into his system. On top of his fatigue, the burst hit him like a highballing freight of adrenaline and triggered an irrational upsurge of pure panic that threatened to strangle him.

_Shit… shit!_ Kakashi sucked in a shaking breath, trying to calm his mind. So _this_ was what that bad feeling had been about. This wasn't the first time a flashback had blindsided him–every veteran shinobi had them–but it still took him by surprise every goddamned time and it never got any easier to hide when it was happening. As he struggled hard against the sudden panic, he knew he should've listened to his gut and stayed home tonight no matter how pissed off Naruto got about it. This mood wasn't one he would ever willingly inflict on anyone and couldn't have come at a worse time. But was there ever any good time for his demons to come out to play?

And hiding it was crucial.

He _had_ to prevent Naruto from realizing that he was breaking, falling apart right in the middle of the damn street for no logical reason, because Naruto hadn't killed enough to go through this yet and Kakashi didn't want him to see what awaited him once he had. Didn't want him to realize that no matter how justified the fight, taking lives would slowly chip away at his soul until the trauma came back to torment him like this. More than that, though, Kakashi couldn't let it show was because he had been Naruto's sensei, and the sensei wasn't supposed to break. He was supposed to be the rock his students turned to when _they_ broke.

Damn, he hated being this tired–it stripped away the defenses he so carefully held–but even knowing it was the fatigue and the caffeine and the chakra loss, even knowing what was coming, Kakashi still couldn't turn his thoughts away from the dark path they'd chosen.

Once it started, he never could.

And Naruto's voice was the opening salvo in this latest skirmish of his internal war.

"_Damn it, I _never_ wanted her to be with you… Whatever you think, whatever _she_ thinks, you're all wrong for her…"_

The words played over and over in his head as he trudged beside Naruto, telling himself not to crush the flowers in his hands, to keep all his masks in place. God, he could _not_ let the teen know what was happening, because even more than all the other reasons, it would torment him to know his words were part of his sensei's anguish. No matter how pissed off Naruto had been, he would never have wanted to make Kakashi feel _this_ bad. He simply wasn't that cruel.

"_Suyo's got a soft heart and you're going to break it…"_

Kakashi tried not to grimace as yet more adrenaline dumped into his bloodstream and his heart kicked hard against his ribs in fight-or-flight mode. Was he _really _going to go to Suyo's like this? Honestly, even if his mood was as stable as it ever got, he couldn't shake the sudden surety that courting her was a bad idea. If nothing else, this crushing anxiety and the memories he _knew _were coming but couldn't fight, showed him more clearly than anything else that he had no business with Suyo. He was just too deeply flawed and no amount of flowers could change that.

He had no illusions that he wasn't anyone's prize catch–God, did he ever know that, despite never lacking companionship when he wanted it. Many of Konoha's kunoichi thought Kakashi was the epitome of sex appeal, and not a few of the male ninjas shared in that opinion, but he knew they were really just entranced by the mystery that surrounded him. No one ever looked deeper, because Kakashi didn't allow it. Those masks were there for a reason.

But when the cold sank too deeply into his soul and Kakashi could no longer deny the need for a human touch, he made himself forget that all anyone really wanted was the mask, not the man. It frighteningly easy to do–he went to one of the bars the Konoha shinobi frequented for this purpose, he drank too much sake and laughed too loudly, and he pretended he was someone who hadn't put dozens–if not hundreds–of people in their graves. Once he was drunk enough, he picked someone up or let himself be picked up. Male, female, he didn't really care which–shinobi didn't tend to live long enough to really be squeamish about that sort of thing–as long as they were warm. It didn't matter that they were using him because he was using them.

And he hated it. He hated the marks they left on his body and the stale reek of sake on his breath and the way he _always_ puked afterward even if he hadn't drank enough to warrant it and how most of Konoha's shinobi force had screwed at one point or another but pretended they hadn't because it meant nothing. But most of all he hated how damn _easy_ it was to just… erase his reality like that. To disappear into the fantasy he'd created and actually believe it long enough to get off. Yet no matter how much he hated it, eventually Kakashi always went back for more, and not for the reason anyone might think. He didn't do it because he was horny. No, he did it for… for that _moment_.

It didn't always happen, and when it didn't, it was hell. But when it did, when he could reach that place in his mind where for a single, rare instant, he could imagine that the body above or beside or beneath his was there for some reason other than shallow, utterly empty lust… it was worth everything. In that moment, he could believe that the frantic, impersonal caresses meant something. That the arms around him were there because his lover actually gave a damn about him.

That moment was more precious to Kakashi than any orgasm. He didn't care if it was real or not–he needed it desperately, that connection that made him believe, just for an instant, that he was human. It was the warmth of the sun thawing the frozen winter inside him. If he could just have that one single second, then he could hold onto it for months before he needed to give in and force himself to do it all over again.

But last night… God, last night, everything had been different. Nothing about Suyo was shallow or empty. She'd made him feel warmer with a handful of words and her honest concern–before she'd even _touched _him–than the hottest fuck he'd ever had. And when he'd kissed her, that single second he craved had exploded through him and spun on and on through endless minutes, a bliss sweeter than anything he'd ever experienced.

And best of all, none of it–_none of it–_had been pretend.

But even that good memory couldn't push away what was happening to him now. Anxiety spiked. Icy sweat poured down his back. And then the street was gone, Naruto was gone, Konoha itself was gone, and Kakashi was walking without seeing, locked in the hell that lived inside him as Naruto's words slashed and stabbed at him with a viciousness he knew his student had never intended.

"… _you're going to break it over and over without even trying, because that's just who you are."_

Was that really all he was, just a man who broke things? _Was_ it?

The truth was, he feared that might be true. After all, destruction had been his life's only constant.

Born in war, Kakashi been steeped in violence since his earliest memories–a child who'd never really been a child. It was clear from the time he learned to walk that he would one day surpass even his famous genius of a father, and Sakumo's teammates had started calling Kakashi the Copy-Nin long before he'd ever stolen his first jutsu with Obito's Sharingan. Originally it had been something said with a grin and a wink, a cute nickname for the strange kid who bore an almost eerie resemblance to his father. But those indulgent smiles had soon been replaced by another expression–a wary, cautious kind of awe. A fearful realization of just what it meant for Kakashi to be a prodigy.

He was the Copy-Nin, a smaller but no less lethal version of Konoha's deadly White Fang. His wild silver hair, his utter lack of fear or hesitation, those chillingly mature grey eyes in a disarmingly sweet baby face, and the tiny, chubby hands that could shape seals and mold chakra and thrust a katana into a vital point with the unerring accuracy of an ANBU veteran before his hand was even big enough to wrap fully around the handle–he'd struck fear into the hearts of even his own Academy sensei. The origin of the nickname was something Kakashi was glad the rest of the village had forgotten, though he couldn't forget it every time someone called him that.

He couldn't forget any of it.

No matter how much he wanted to.

Entered in Konoha's Ninja Academy at age four, earning his hitai-ate at five, and donning his first chuunin flack vest by six–specially made to fit his tiny body and still almost swallowing him whole–Hatake Kakashi had been a prodigy who'd unnerved friend and foe alike. He'd shown a frightening aptitude for warfare at a time when the Fire Country desperately needed every ninja it could get, and so he was thrust into life or death battles that shinobi three and four times his age hadn't been able to handle and told to just please try not to die.

And Kakashi hadn't just _survived_ in that chaos. He'd _thrived _there_._

The infamous Hatake killer instinct had bred true in Kakashi–had possibly achieved its most perfect and terrible expression in that small body. Its childish softness invited underestimation and pity and then exploded in unbelievable acts of violence. A five year old Kakashi on the battlefield was quick and fearless and precise and absolutely lethal, and his jutsus were beautiful and vicious. The front lines were his playground and the enemy nin were his toys, playthings he carefully put away before allowing himself to curl up in the sleep he still frustratingly needed so much of–a worn-out little boy who'd had a busy day, a killer held back by the youth of his body.

While he was scary in open battle, it was in covert operations where Kakashi's real talents lay. No one could truly believe that a child so young and so beautiful could also be so deadly. That skill was used mercilessly. He was an unlikely secret weapon, a deceptively adorable child who killed efficiently and without any apparent emotion at all, and the Hokage had used him to slash through enemy lines like a surgeon used a scalpel to slice unprotected skin.

And like a scalpel, he'd been expected to have no remorse for his actions–actions a child couldn't possibly fully understand. Only later, only in times like these when those memories rose from their shallow grave to assault him, did Kakashi truly grasp the horror of those years.

By the time Kakashi was seven he'd lost track of the number of flack vests he'd ruined with blood and people were sure he'd be a jounin in no time. Then he'd come home one day to find that his father, his idol,his only family, was no longer a proud and fierce ninja but merely a dead failure sprawled in a lake of his own blood. Kakashi donned the mask that same day because even then he hadn't wanted to be a copy of _that,_ but he was only seven and he didn't know how to be anything else.

Minato had taken him in after Sakumo's seppuku, and his first act as Kakashi's guardian was to demand that he immediately be reassigned away from covert ops. His second was to formally request, not only as Kakashi's guardian but also as his jounin-sensei, that Kakashi _not_ receive the rank of jounin. When a bewildered Kakashi had confronted Minato with real, confused tears in his eyes, not the fake ones he used so effectively on missions–_what did I do wrong, sensei, can I please go back out and try again? I promise I'll do it right this time and make you proud–_it had been the only time he'd ever seen his sensei truly enraged.

"_You_ have done nothing wrong, Kakashi-kun. _They_ did because they broke you. Those bastards took a child and they twisted you and they warped you and they brainwashed you into a weapon," he'd growled as he hugged Kakashi hard, his low, furious voice sharper than the white chakra blade that was the only thing Kakashi had taken from his father. "You should be so much more than what you are, and they stole that from you. You are _seven goddamned years old_ and you've killed more people than I have! Can you even understand how wrong that is? I don't care how desperate our manpower shortage is. What they've done to you is sick and I will not let it continue."

But Kakashi had ended up back on the front lines anyway because Sandaime said _this is_ _war, damn it, _they were fighting for Fire Country's very survival and they just didn't have the luxury of being squeamish. And Kakashi had let himself be used simply because he didn't know how _not _to be a weapon.

Minato had never forgiven Sandaime for that.

Kakashi knew now that he'd dealt with the war badly, perhaps in the worst ways possible. In later years, he'd learned that denying all his emotions and surrounding himself in so much death that it no longer affected him at all was a one-way ticket to insanity. But at the time, no one had thought to teach a six year old how to handle his first kill–a close kill, too, his kunai buried in a Stone chuunin's throat, unleashing a hot, metallic red wave over his small hands and face and chest. No Academy class covered how to be a blooded killer when others his age still played pretend ninjas and threw paper shuriken and cried over scraped knees. No book or scroll told him how to understand the finality of the death he so skillfully rendered.

Then somehow the war was over. Minato was no longer just his jounin-sensei and guardian but the Yondaime Hokage and _everyone's_ guardian, and in the confusion of peace, Kakashi realized he had never learned how to deal with people when he wasn't trying to kill them. Minato had tried to teach him when he and Rin and Obito were a team. And although Obito had died before Kakashi really had the hang of it, at least Obito had given him a true insight into the power of friendship and teamwork and the strength that came from fighting for his precious people. Kakashi had taken that lesson to heart as he'd taken few before.

Then the Kyuubi's attack had swept away the last remnants of Team Minato in its unreasoning, murderous fury, and it had almost undone everything Yondaime and Jiraiya had tried to teach him.

Kakashi was left alone and adrift once more.

With Yondaime no longer there to forbid it and Obito long gone and Rin newly dead and nothing at all to anchor him, he'd joined ANBU and continued doing the only thing he'd ever excelled at in his short life. The ANBU Hound never turned down any target, no matter how distasteful, and he never hesitated during even the most dangerous assignment because death was a familiar friend whose embrace held no dread, and he never took breaks between missions because he never felt anything at all anymore. He was able to ignore the numbness that sapped a little more color from his world with each kill because the numbness was familiar. It was _life_ that bewildered him.

By the time Jiraiya returned to Konoha and saw what Minato's pupil had become and all but forced Sandaime to retire him from ANBU–_enough is enough, damn it, the war's over and you can't _possibly _justify this anymore–_Kakashi had grown from a icy, frightening child into a deadly but fundamentally damaged man. ANBU made sense to him, and he was damn good at it. Was convinced that all those missions were the best way he could keep the village safe and prevent anyone else from going losing their precious people, as he had. He'd fought a furious but losing battle to stay there.

His first year out of ANBU was hell. The second was worse. Jiraiya got Sandaime to offer him a genin team the next year–_don't give me that look, brat, they'll save you if you'll let them –_but Kakashi rejected them out of hand. Was the sannin insane? Despite Ibiki's best efforts during the compulsory emotional retraining required of ANBU retirees, Kakashi's mind was never going to be what anyone would call _stable_. He knew too well that no one who'd done half the things he'd done could ever claim to have much of a grip on sanity or compassion. He tried–God knew he tried–but he just couldn't quite trust himself to take such ultimate responsibility for shaping and guiding three impressionable young lives yet.

That same year, Jiraiya gave him some scandalous, raunchy books to teach him humor and suggest a few other things girls were good for besides target practice. He told Kakashi to memorize and imitate them, and not realizing the perverted sannin was kidding, he had. That year also marked the beginning of Maito Gai's challenges of strength and skill–never fights, not yet, anyway–and Kakashi didn't know if Jiraiya had put the man up to it, or if Gai was just perceptive enough to realize that this was one of the few ways he could actually have a somewhat normal interaction with anyone else. As time passed, Kakashi slowly began to feel like a man instead of a weapon more days than not.

The pre-genin kept coming to him for testing, and he kept failing them. One day he thought he finally understood why Minato had been so angry at Sandaime all those years ago. He felt the same rush of anger as he'd looked at the faces of yet another trio of hopeful genin wanna-be's and tried to imagine them behind enemy lines. He pictured them snuggling up to some noble and smilingly slitting their throat and was deeply disturbed because he thought they could actually do it.

He failed that team, and he refused to even test the next.

Kakashi had done that very thing so many times. It had been his specialty. A quivering lip, a tear in those soft, helpless grey eyes, a muffled sniffle to tempt a nin to reach out and comfort this poor little boy who'd somehow gotten lost on the battlefield… he was ruthless and his disguise was perfect. Any nin who fell for his act was instantly and silently killed, a casualty of their own human compassion. Dead because they'd dared to pity the beautiful, deadly child now wearing their blood.

The child who'd grown into a man who couldn't even remember how many times he'd killed like that. Most days, that inability an was agonizing, torturous burden. On others, he couldn't understand why the deaths he'd caused even mattered or why the stench of the blood on his hands should bother him at all.

Those days were worse. Much, much worse.

"… _because that's just who you are."_

Yes, this was who he was, but was it _all_ he was? Kakashi didn't want to believe that. God, how he wanted to have finally gained some humanity, to prove that those brief years with Team Minato hadn't been a fluke. He needed to know that Rin hadn't been wrong to love him and Obito hadn't been wrong to die for him and Minato hadn't been wrong to believe in him and Jiraiya hadn't been wrong to fight Sandaime to save Kakashi from himself, even though he hadn't lived up to any of their expectations.

"_And I don't think there's a damn thing you can do to make any of it the slightest bit better."_

Was he really doomed to hurt Suyo no matter how hard he tried not to?

No… no, he couldn't believe that. Wouldn't _let_ himself believe that. He might have started life as a weapon, but he was more than that now.

But even Naruto, the boy who always believed the best of everyone, who gave out second and third and hundredth chances like it was nothing, like such madness made _sense_, clearly believed that all of this was a huge mistake. Kakashi didn't understand why he was so willing to support Suyo in the matter. Naruto was willing to bully Kakashi into going to dinner and bringing her flowers just because it was what he thought she wanted, and he was undoubtedly willing to help her pick up the pieces when she was inevitably disappointed with his reality.

And perhaps he might even be willing to forgive Kakashi if he failed to live up to her expectations, because Naruto forgave like water tumbling over a cliff–like it was inevitable, not even worth thinking about, much less agonizing over. He forgave like no pain could ever really stick to him.

It was a quality Kakashi would have given literally anything–his money and fame, his formidable skills, the Sharingan that should never have been his and every damn one of the Thousand fucking Jutsus he'd stolen with it, his arms and his legs and the last tattered remnant of his soul–to learn for himself. If he knew how to forgive like Naruto did, maybe he could finally take that last step and forgive himself for all his own failures.

Suddenly Kakashi knew he was being criminally selfish in even thinking of inflicting himself on a woman who'd already endured so much, especially tonight and in such a horrific mood, and trying to make it through the evening without falling to pieces in front of her seemed like the worst idea he'd ever had.

And he'd had some deeply terrible ideas in his time.

"Naruto, I can't–" he began hoarsely, his footsteps slowing, but it was too late. Somehow they were already at Suyo's door and Naruto must have knocked when he'd spoken because the door was already opening, and Kakashi was trapped, _trapped–_

Suyo pulled the door open wide and hugged Naruto with her usual unthinking affection. When her gaze fell on Kakashi, he crinkled his eye in a smile that had never been more fake and wanted so damn badly to just be _anywhere_ else. She smiled back at him but was already telling Naruto that they'd arrived just in time, she was out of soy sauce and did he think he had time to run to the market and get her some more before it closed? And naturally Naruto agreed because he would do anything for her, and Kakashi barely registered the warning look the blond shot him before rushing down the stairs because Suyo had taken his hands and was pulling him inside.

Inside her home where it was so _warm, _where there was no metallic reek of blood but only that fragrance which was the indefinable smell of peace, and the _click_ of the door closing behind him somehow locked those cursed memories out on the other side.

She took the miraculously still unmangled flowers from him but immediately tossed them aside so she could cup his face in her hands as he'd seen her do to Naruto so many times. "What is it? I can tell it's bad," she murmured, meeting his single storm-grey eye with her worried green gaze. "What's wrong?"

_She knew!_

Adrenaline slammed into his system again, making him want to shake from head to toe, a reaction he controlled through sheer will because while he couldn't control his mind, at least his body always did what he told it to.

She stepped closer, looking up at him with a depth of concern that couldn't possibly be faked. "What do you need, Kakashi? What can I do?"

"…_you're going to break her heart… that's just who you are…"_

"I shouldn't have come," he whispered through numb lips, closing his eyes, shaking his head. _Please,_ he thought desperately, _please let me prove him wrong._ "I shouldn't be here." But somehow his hands were covering hers, making a liar of him.

"…_and I don't think there's a damn thing you can do to make any of it the slightest bit better."_

"Shh," Suyo soothed, stroking his cloth-covered cheeks with her thumbs. "Do you want to be here?"

"_Yes."_ The word escaped from between his teeth despite his efforts to hold it back. Yes, he wanted to be here, and that made no sense whatsoever because letting Suyo see him like this–letting _anyone _see him like this–was the last thing he ever wanted. No shinobi liked having such weakness exposed. And in front of this woman… it wasn't exactly sexy, watching him holding himself together by his fingernails, was it?

Her soft voice sliced through the panic. "Do you remember what I told you this morning, Kakashi-san? I meant it. You are always welcome here."

His breath hissed out in a wave of releasing tension. Kakashi suddenly found his fingers interlaced with hers as she still held his face so gently, and her warmth began to chase away that awful numbness. It spread from that point of contact and seeped slowly inside of him. His chest slowly loosened enough that he actually felt like he could _breathe_ again, and suddenly he didn't care if he looked weak or unworthy because those words… she really did mean them. He was _welcome_. Needing this so damn bad right now, he could do nothing but hold on tight and let her gentle touch and honest warmth draw him back from the abyss.

Suyo didn't say anything else. She didn't try to take her hands back. Kakashi was unutterably grateful to her for that, because he felt like she was not only somehow putting him back together with her touch, she was also sealing up all those pieces that were too broken to fix. After four more breaths, he opened his eye again, just looking down at her in wonder. Never before had he managed to claw his way back to sanity after one of these… flashbacks, episodes, panic attacks, whatever he wanted to call them… so quickly. They could last for days of hell before receding, yet this one had let him go after only these few torturous minutes.

And never before had it been so difficult to pretend everything was fine afterward. He released her hands and stepped back. "Thank you," Kakashi said hoarsely, knowing he had to acknowledge what she'd done somehow, then bent to retrieve the discarded bouquet just to escape those eyes that continued to see too much of him. He felt raw, exposed under that gaze.

She smiled as she took the flowers from him for the second time. "You're welcome," she said, and while she didn't try to hide that she had no clue what she'd done for him to thank her in that particular tone, she didn't question it, either. Instead, she raised the tissue-wrapped blossoms to her face and inhaled. "And thank you, too. These are lovely."

"You should thank Naruto," he admitted, shoving his hands into his pockets just to have something to do with them, trying to hide his acute discomfort. God, what was wrong with him? Hadn't he wanted to be alone with her again–hadn't he been thinking of those kisses all day? Yet now that they were together in her apartment without a certain blond hovering around, now that she'd accepted him even when he was in this condition, all he could feel was a near-frantic need to escape. But he kept trying to pretend because he didn't know what else to do. "Seems like he didn't think I could manage to charm you on my own."

Suyo laughed a little. "He shouldn't worry so much."

The lightness didn't last. Tension stretched between them as they stood there by her door–Suyo confused and worried, Kakashi battered and raw. He couldn't look at her or think of any way to break this awful silence.

She did it for him a moment later. "Kakashi-san, if you're… not in the mood for dinner tonight, you really don't have to stay on my account," she said, and while he heard the tone that meant he was truly welcome to join them, he could also tell she honestly wouldn't be angry if he didn't. "No matter what Naruto might've told you. I'll tell the one-man wrecking crew something when he gets back if you need to… to be alone."

For an instant, he was torn both ways. After a dark spell like this, the temptation was always to curl up somewhere safe and lick his wounds for a while… but Suyo's home, her gaze, her _touch_ were just so warm and tempting. Her understanding wrecked him and somehow strengthened him, too. Did he dare to stay?

He… didn't. Not yet. "I'm just tired," he told her–a half-truth, because he _was_ tired, he was utterly fucking _exhausted_, but that definitely wasn't the whole problem. "I'm sorry."

Suyo waved that away. "Don't be sorry. I know you just got back from a mission. Why should I be offended that you need some rest?" she said, smiling at him again in a way that made him feel both better and worse. God, his emotions were running haywire! "You're only human, Kakashi-san."

And with those words, that _moment_ he longed for so much burst through him, bringing a weary, but this time, very real smile to his face. "I'm glad you think so," he said, having no words to express how much that simple sentence meant to him. "I owe you dinner."

"I'll hold you to that," she returned. "Now get out of here before Naruto-kun gets back."

Kakashi nodded and turned to go… but before he left, he suddenly bent and kissed her mouth, the mask doing nothing to dampen the sparks that flew through his veins when she gasped at the too-brief contact. He jerked away as if burned. "Goodnight," he managed in a choked voice that sounded little like his own before wrenching open the door and fleeing through it.

He was halfway home before he realized it.

She'd _seen_ him yet again–not at his worst, nowhere near his worst, but definitely not at his best. And somehow, despite nearly falling apart in front of her, she hadn't seemed like she'd lost any respect for him. Hadn't treated him like a weakling or a failure for it_._

Somehow, it didn't seem like he'd screwed anything up.


	8. Desperate Measures

**Many thanks to all of you for the reviews! You're all too kind. And thanks to those of you who've sent me PMs because they totally make my day. Not as much as finding Kakashi tied naked to my bed would, but still, they're pretty good. :)**

**(Sorry to everyone who has this story on update alert–it's not really a new chapter, I just had to fix a couple of things!)**

**Disclaimer is still in effect. If I ever own Naruto, believe me, the world will know it. R&R, thanks!**

Kakashi realized two things on waking. One was that he was absolutely _starving_, and he wished briefly that he'd managed to pull himself together enough to have dinner with Suyo and Naruto last night. He hadn't been too aware of it at the time, but his memory was as perfect as ever and the scent of domburi that had filled her little apartment rose in his mind to torment him now.

The second was that it was well past noon, and when was the last time he'd slept late?

The weirdness just kept coming when he stumbled out of bed–actually _stumbled!_ His body felt oddly stiff and sore as he made his unsteady way to the bathroom. On the way, he turned on the radio as he passed by.

And that was how he came to the third realization of the day as he was turning on the shower. He'd not only slept through the night and past noon the next day. He'd slept through the night, and the entire next day, and then that night, and well into a _second_ day!

Kakashi groaned and ducked under the warm spray. He supposed he should count himself lucky to get away without being hospitalized again for extreme chakra loss and exhaustion, but if Tsunade-sama heard about this, he was probably in for yet more coddling. He just hoped that she hadn't already heard about it from his team. Being late was one thing, but it was too much to hope that Naruto, Sai, and Sakura hadn't noticed his absence yesterday. He'd have to warn them from spreading that around before they let it slip that he hadn't shown up for training at all. He was too glad to be back on the team that bore his name to get pulled off it quite yet.

Ten minutes later, he was dressed and out the door, urged on by his stomach. While the sleep had definitely helped his chakra, his body was adamantly protesting the thirty-six hours of immobility and lack of food. Keeping his kitchen stocked was useless for a jounin who was gone as much as he was. Since he had precisely nothing in his apartment to cook, he could either shop–which would just take too damn long–or eat a ration bar. And he refused to choke down one of those sawdust-tasting things unless there was absolutely no other choice.

Kakashi decided to go with choice number three–drag his starving ass out of the apartment and pay someone else to make him some _real_ food. Konoha had more restaurants that it knew what to do with, and he was well acquainted with them all. When he was home, he ordered in for nearly every meal. His pay from all those years of virtually nonstop ANBU missions had provided him with quite a nest-egg so he could afford to indulge as often as he wanted–really, apart from his books, it was the only thing he splurged on. Eating out all the time was just easier than dealing with the hassles of shopping, cooking, and cleaning up after himself.

The closest restaurant just happened to be Ichiraku Ramen. It wasn't Kakashi's favorite, but right now it felt like his stomach was trying to eat his own spine, so he wasn't in the mood to be picky. He ordered an extra-large bowl with everything and tried not to salivate too obviously at the scent of broth and grilled pork wafting from behind the counter as Teuchi prepared it. He concentrated on the sounds of the market down the street as his order cooked–it seemed particularly loud today, but that might've just been because he was focusing so hard to keep his stomach from growling. After what seemed like an hour, the bowl was placed before him. Three quick hand signs later, his cloaking genjutsu was safely in place so he could lower his mask and eat without anyone catching a glimpse of his face.

It took an obscenely short amount of time before the bowl was empty–really, he thought he might've given Naruto a run for his money with that one. He ordered a second bowl to go, then released his jutsu and sighed contentedly while it was prepared. Now that his hunger was at least partially sated, he could notice that it really was a nice day. Cool and sunny, it was the kind of day that invited villagers to throng the streets and bask in it.

And as though his thought had summoned them, Kakashi heard Naruto's excited voice and Suyo's indulgent laughter drifting down the street.

He immediately sat up a little straighter and looked around, seeking them out while still undecided about what he'd do once they were in sight. If Naruto caught sight of him at Ichiraku, he'd definitely demand Kakashi buy him a bowl of ramen–or ten–and it would only be polite to include Suyo, too. But did he _want_ to be seen? His skin prickled with embarrassed heat at the memory of how weak he'd been the last time he'd seen Suyo… but he also remembered how unhesitatingly she'd accepted him in that state. No, he didn't think she'd judge him harshly for his break-down. But Naruto… what would she have told the teen to explain Kakashi's sudden absence? What questions would he ask Kakashi now? He really would rather not share exactly why he'd left.

What if Suyo had told Naruto the truth?

… no. Kakashi rejected the thought automatically. He wasn't sure exactly how he could be so sure, but he was. Suyo simply wouldn't have done that.

How odd for him to actually trust someone with one of his secrets.

Before Kakashi could make up his mind whether or not to hail them, Naruto and Suyo turned the corner and came into view. Her shopping basket was over her arm again–full this time–and Naruto carried a bag of onions over one shoulder as he walked beside her, talking nonstop as usual. No doubt he'd sent his clones flying through the market for her again, Kakashi thought with a hidden smile. No doubt he'd also caused quite a scene doing it–and no wonder the market had seemed especially noisy today. _One-man wrecking crew_ was just about the best description Kakashi had ever heard for Uzumaki Naruto.

As if to confirm his suspicions, a man Kakashi vaguely recognized as a fish-seller came stomping around the corner behind them, scowling. "Hey! Uzumaki-teme!" he shouted, shaking his fist in the air. "You stay away from my cart from now on, you hear me? I don't need a freak like you scaring off my customers anymore!"

Naruto's bright grin faded and his shoulders hunched a little with a hint of shame as Suyo turned around. Kakashi got to his feet at once, all thoughts of staying hidden forgotten. It had been a very long time since a villager had reacted to Naruto like this. Just because the villagers of Konoha were forbidden to speak of the Kyuubi didn't mean they'd forgotten that Naruto carried it. He'd worked his ass off to earn their respect, and slowly, most of them were coming around.

But not all of them. For some, the pain of the Kyuubi's attack would never fade, and neither would their hatred of the boy doomed to contain it.

And Kakashi would be damned if he let his teammate and former student get berated by an ignorant bastard while he was there to stop it. Especially in front of Suyo.

But suddenly, before he could do more than brush the hangings aside to leave the ramen stand, the side of the fish-seller's head erupted in a gory splash of red. Kakashi momentarily froze in complete shock. Was it a kunai–a shuriken–and who'd thrown it? _What the hell just happened?_

And then he realized that Suyo was holding another tomato in her hand, her arm cocked back in an unmistakable pose.

"Shut up and walk away," she growled in a fierce tone Kakashi could hardly believe was actually coming from the usually kind woman. "Or you really won't like what I hit with the next one."

Several people on the street laughed and the fish-seller went beyond red with rage. His face darkened to an alarming purple as he wiped the smashed tomato from his hair. "Why the hell would you defend that_ thing?_" he snarled, pointing an accusing finger at Naruto. "You have no idea what he is! It makes me sick to see Konoha's symbol on his forehead, like he deserves it! As if he–"

_SPLAT!_

Kakashi's eye widened as the tomato hit the man squarely in the crotch, doubling him over with pain. Damn, but he never would've guessed Suyo had such a temper–and such an arm! "I know exactly what he is. He is the ninja who saved my life," she said fiercely, enunciating every word clearly. "And he has earned that symbol on his forehead a thousand times over–Naruto has more honor and bravery in his little finger than you have in your entire cowardly body. Now go back to your cart, you pitiful excuse for a man, and be grateful that you have a shinobi like Naruto protecting you."

"Suyo-chan, come on, let's go," Naruto mumbled, grasping her elbow and trying to draw her down the street again, his face crimson. "Really, it doesn't matter. I'm used to it."

She resisted him for a moment, and as Kakashi got closer, he could tell that her entire body was trembling with rage. "It matters to me," she said, but finally she allowed the teenager to guide her arm back down to her side, and she missed the indefinable look that crossed Naruto's face at those words. Kakashi wondered how many times someone had defended him like this.

He couldn't think of a single one, and it shamed him. Someone _should_ have stood up for him.

Well, today he was going to do what he should've done all those years ago. Kakashi closed the distance separating him from Naruto and Suyo and stood squarely behind them, his single grey eye narrowed as he stabbed the unfortunate villager with the menacing glare that could make S-ranked enemy jounin piss themselves in terror. Really, it was tempting to uncover his Sharingan just for the sheer intimidation factor.

Then again, Suyo had another tomato in that basket, and she seemed to be doing a damn good job of intimidating the fish-seller all on her own. He marveled at her passionate defense of Naruto. This ferocity, this willingness to start a fight to defend her precious friend–he never would've guessed Suyo had such fire in her.

And he liked it. He liked it a _lot._

Luckily, Kakashi's appearance beside Naruto seemed to convince the fish-seller that this was a fight he couldn't win. He shook his fist once more, but his heart clearly wasn't in it as he gave the Copy-Nin a wary look. Grumbling under his breath, he limped back to his cart, white apron stained with smashed tomato.

"You know, for a civilian, your aim is truly terrifying," Kakashi said amiably, making Suyo jump as she spun around to see him there. He smiled at her surprise–for once he'd managed to sneak up on her. "Remind me to never let you get near my shuriken when you're angry."

"Kakashi-san!" Suyo gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. "I didn't see you arrive!"

His smile broadened, his eye nearly closing in a happy curve. "Yes, well… _ninja,_ you know. We do that."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto interrupted with a scowl before Suyo could answer. It seemed like his embarrassment had already vanished–his blush had certainly disappeared. Yet again, Kakashi was in awe of the boy's ability to get over unpleasant things so quickly. "Where were you yesterday, anyway? We waited for you for hours!"

But Kakashi couldn't really concentrate on Naruto's question. For a moment, the sight of Suyo's still-flashing green eyes washed every single one of the excuses he'd prepared from Kakashi's mind and utterly derailed his train of thought. Dear God, it might've been a bad cliché, but she truly was so incredible when she was angry. Those passionately bright eyes, the high color in her cheeks, the tight line of her lips and stubborn set of her jaw… he could so easily imagine bringing this expression to her face under much more pleasant circumstances.

Only when Naruto stomped on his foot did Kakashi snap back to the present. Now wasn't the time to ogle Suyo. "I'm sorry, Naruto," he said, smiling again in a way designed to make his former student's frustration peak as he forced his attention back to the conversation and not his own increasingly _Icha Icha-_esque musings. Oh, he knew he probably shouldn't do this, but it was just too much fun to tweak Naruto's temper. He always reacted so wonderfully to any provocation. "I was on my way to the training grounds to meet you all when I ran into a little old lady who needed help. You see, her dog was having puppies, and she thought one of my ninken might've been the sire, so I–"

Naruto growled and Suyo laughed–one, the reaction he'd expected, and the other, a reaction he'd treasure. "Oh, shut up. You are so full of shit," the teen grumbled. "And I bet you found all the cute little puppies kind and loving homes, too, right?"

"Language," Kakashi reprimanded him mildly, mentally filing the _finding families for homeless puppies_ excuse away to be used later. "There's a lady present."

Naruto laughed and gently punched Suyo on the shoulder, his annoyance with Kakashi forgotten. "Last time I checked, _ladies_ didn't nail men in the junk with tomatoes," he teased, making her blush again. "Kakashi-sensei's right, Suyo-chan. You've got a helluva wicked arm. Are you sure you never trained as a kunoichi?"

Suyo made a strangled sound of embarrassment. "I… probably shouldn't have done that," she mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

Oh no, he wasn't having any of that. No way was he going to let her hide those eyes from him. "You definitely should have done that," Kakashi contradicted her as he gently tugged her hands away from her face. "And it's lucky for him you did, too. If you hadn't, I'd have had to throw something, and everything I have is considerably sharper than a ripe tomato."

Naruto laughed again, and after a moment, Suyo joined in. "What a waste of perfectly good vegetables," she sighed, starting to walk back toward her apartment once more. Kakashi fell into step beside them–it just felt like the natural thing to do. "Now I'll have to buy some more."

"There's no such thing as perfectly good vegetables," Naruto groused, his reaction automatic.

"Don't start," she told him, but she smiled indulgently as she said it. "I swear one of these days I'll get you to eat a salad."

"If you do, he'll probably keel over from the shock of it. I could take pictures," Kakashi offered, and pretended not to see Naruto glaring at him behind Suyo's back.

Kakashi was about to say something else when Teuchi ran up, a to-go bag in hand. "Kakashi-san, you forgot your ramen!"

"Ahh, yes, thank you," he said, accepting it with a grateful nod. Naruto eyed the bag hungrily but Kakashi wasn't giving this prize up without a fight. One extra-large bowl of ramen definitely wasn't enough to make up for a day and a half without food, but at least he could devour this in the privacy of his own apartment instead of inhaling it under cover of a jutsu.

"So, sensei," Naruto said, his face abnormally serious as he absently kicked a pebble out of the way, "where were you really yesterday? Me and Sakura were worried, especially after you skipped out on dinner with Suyo." His eyes narrowed as he shot Kakashi a glare that told him that no matter what excuse Suyo had come up with, Naruto hadn't believed a word of it and thought it was a really crappy thing to do.

"I'm sure your sensei just needed some rest," Suyo answered before he could think of another excuse. "Not everyone has your energy, Naruto-kun."

"_No one_ has your energy," Kakashi added, which was God's honest truth. He'd woken up in the hospital too often after missions not to harbor his own well-hidden jealousy for Naruto's seemingly endless stamina and absolutely ridiculous amount of chakra. "But speaking of that dinner, I believe I owe you. Are you free tonight, Suyo?" The words were out before he'd fully considered them, and his cheeks suddenly felt a bit warm beneath the mask. What was he thinking, asking her out in the middle of a crowded street? In front of Naruto? What if she said no?

But her startled answering smile was worth any potential embarrassment. "Why, yes, I am. I'd be happy to have dinner with you tonight, Kakashi-san," she said, her tone surprised but pleased, and he suddenly realized that she'd been unsure if he would want to see her again after he'd left. He held her gaze, reeling slightly from the revelation. He'd been so concerned that _she_ wouldn't want to see _him_ after his break-down–that she'd be disgusted with his weakness–that he'd never considered that she might be worried about the same thing.

Damn, he just wasn't any good at this dating thing.

Belatedly realizing he'd been staring into Suyo's eyes too long to really seem casual, Kakashi blinked and attempted to think of something else to say. Naruto came to the rescue and broke the tension by gagging loudly, and Kakashi smacked him across the back of the head. "Not helping," he said in a warning tone.

Naruto rubbed his scalp with an exaggerated eye-roll and shrugged. "Hey, I said I didn't mind. I never said I was going to help."

Well, that was true enough, Kakashi supposed. "Pick you up at six?" he asked Suyo, and grinned when she nodded with a cute little blush staining her cheeks. The sight was really too charming for words… and exactly when had the Ninja of a Thousand Jutsus added words like _charming_ and _cute_ to his vocabulary_,_ anyway? He forced another smile and prepared to beat a hasty retreat before he screwed this up entirely. "Great. See you then. Naruto, try something new and attempt to behave yourself." And he leapt up to the rooftops and was gone before the boy could reply.

Only then did he check his watch and realize that it was already three-thirty. With a surge of panic, he realized that left him only two and a half hours to figure out just what the hell he was supposed to do for their date. Dinner… that was what he'd offered… why hadn't he thought that through a little more? Damn, this could get complicated. Kakashi might not be the world's greatest expert on dating, but even he was pretty sure that putting his date under a genjutsu and bolting down his food like he had at Ichiraku was considered bad form.

Plus there was the matter of that little promise he'd made after those insanely hot kisses to let her see his face next time. _Next time_ had come and gone when he'd bolted from her apartment rather than staying for dinner. Apparently she'd forgiven him for that, but he didn't want to push his luck by putting her off again–Kakashi wanted this too much to screw it up, and the very strength of his wanting was enough to nearly paralyze him with anxiety.

If he didn't want to mess things up, he would have to find a way to make good on that promise. So tonight, somehow, he'd take off his mask for Suyo… but if he didn't want the rest of the restaurant to see his face, too, they'd have to eat somewhere very quiet and secluded.

Which pretty much disqualified every damn restaurant in Konoha. If Kakashi dared to lower his mask in any public establishment, he was under no illusions that word would quickly spread that the Copy-Nin had his mask off and the place would be mobbed.

He leapt onto his landing and unlocked his door, silently groaning. There was no help for it. He was going to have to ask for help. He stashed the ramen in his fridge and left again, this time heading for Sakura's house and already dreading the conversation to come.

Sometimes, a shinobi had to take desperate measures.


	9. Timing is Everything

**Neither Naruto nor Kakashi belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for fun. R&R!**

Although it went against the firmly held beliefs of two Hokages, the entire ANBU squadron, the mission room staff, every Bingo Book entry, the villages of Konoha, Suna, and Kumo, and pretty much everyone else who'd ever met him, Hatake Kakashi actually _could_ be punctual. Really, he thought this should've been obvious. Any shinobi who couldn't keep to a schedule would be an utter failure in a job where _failure_ was synonymous with _dead_. So of course Kakashi was capable of arriving at a certain place at a certain time, if he actually wanted to do so.

He just usually didn't.

His years as a shinobi had put him in enough situations where the choices were punctuality or death to teach him the luxury of being able to be late. When the consequences for tardiness didn't involve pointy objects or dismemberment, his motivation to show up on time was somewhat lacking.

And by _somewhat_ he meant _entirely._

But Kakashi had an entirely different kind of motivation driving him to knock on Suyo's door tonight, which was the reason that he was standing there with his fist raised to knock when his watch clicked to six o'clock. And it was precisely that motivation that also had his palms sweating in a most un-ninja-like fashion as he waited uncomfortably for her to answer.

Actually, _uncomfortable_ wasn't precisely the right word. He just felt… _off._ It was the clothes, he thought with a hidden grimace. Sakura had said (after several minutes of delighted squealing that _her sensei_ actually had a_ real_ _date,_ oh she was just _so proud,_ and she couldn't _believe_ he'd come to _her_ for advice, what an _honor,_ she would _not_ let him _down_–he'd endured the noise with bad grace only because he needed help and who else was he supposed to ask? Sai? Naruto? _Gai_, for God's sake?) that Kakashi should really wear something that hadn't seen battle tonight. And since that pretty much eliminated everything he owned, he'd submitted (also with bad grace) to the pinkette kunoichi dragging him off to buy a new outfit and utterly ignoring any opinions he might have in the matter.

The only time Kakashi had firmly put his foot down was when Sakura tried to get him to buy an eyepatch to cover the Sharingan instead of his hitai-ate. "Absolutely not," he said firmly, and he refused to be persuaded otherwise. Kakashi was proud to be a Konoha shinobi and he'd worn that hitai-ate every day since he'd turned five. There was a difference between making an effort to look nice for Suyo and completely reinventing himself.

Despite the hitai-ate, Sakura had sworn that he looked amazing in the outfit she'd finally chosen for him–form-fitting black slacks and a silver button-down shirt with fine pinstripes. Even with her praise still ringing in his ears, Kakashi wasn't so sure. He hadn't dressed like a civilian in… well, _ever_. He felt oddly naked without his armored gloves and shuriken holster and kunai pouch and flack vest filled with scrolls and poisons and assorted other methods of messy death. Despite the civilian attire, he'd still managed to conceal a few weapons–it would've been easier for him to leave without his Sharingan than to go anywhere unarmed–but it wasn't the same. At least he still had the familiar tight-fitting undershirt and its attached mask on. Sakura hadn't been thrilled when he'd expressed his intention to wear it beneath the button-down shirt, but she'd given up that fight fairly quickly. She hadn't really expected him to skip the mask, no matter how much he knew she'd hoped to see his face during all this shopping and remedial date training.

Kakashi just hoped all of this had done some good and he didn't make an utter ass of himself tonight. If he'd endured such a humiliating two hours for nothing, he was really going to have to kill something.

Suyo's door swung open only an instant after he knocked, and Kakashi hid the sudden burst of nerves behind a smile until he realized that the eyes looking back at him were blue, not green. "Naruto," he said, belatedly attempting to hide his annoyance. "I didn't expect to see you here."

The teen clearly picked up on his tone anyway but he was too busy grinning and punching the air to be terribly offended. "Thanks, sensei! I win the bet! Now Sakura-chan owes me all the ramen I can eat at Ichiraku," he said happily. "She just couldn't believe you'd actually get here on time. Then again, she didn't see you two in front of that fireplace. Come in, Suyo's ready. Apparently she doesn't know you well enough to anticipate you'd be late."

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if the heat currently suffusing his cheeks was due to the reminder of that incredible interlude beside Suyo's fireplace or the news that his teammates were placing bets on his love-life. "So," he said, pushing his hands into his pockets and trying really hard not to think about what else they might've bet on–and when the hell had Sakura and Naruto had time to get together and _bet_ on this, anyway? He'd been with her nonstop until fifteen minutes ago!– "I assume you're here to tell me something. Are you going to give me the _'have her home by ten or else'_ lecture?"

Naruto laughed. "Oh, no, I figure you'll have been run out of the restaurant by nosy villagers who can't believe Sharingan no Kakashi is actually on a date _way_ before ten. Naah, I thought I'd give you the _'she's a lady, treat her like one'_ lecture instead."

"He's the one that keeps reminding you of that whenever you swear in front of me, Naru-kun," Suyo said, and Kakashi turned to see her closing her bedroom door behind her. "I hardly think you need to remind him of it."

Kakashi felt a little drop in the pit of his stomach at the sight of her, as if he'd missed a step somewhere and fallen off a cliff. Dear God… for a moment, all he could do was stare as the most desirable woman he'd ever met walked up to him with a welcoming smile.

Not the most beautiful–Suyo would never qualify for that title, despite her thick, lovely hair or shining green eyes. His desire for her was rooted so much deeper than mere physicality.

But tonight, she had somehow transformed herself from plain to shockingly pretty. Was it the clothes, he wondered? They certainly helped, that was for sure. She wore green tonight, a shimmering lightweight spring yukata the exact shade of her eyes and cinched at the waist with a lightweight silver obi. Unlike her usual loose pants and long-sleeved tunic, the yukata hugged the curves he'd only guessed at before… and Suyo's curves were enough to drive the breath from his lungs. Slim waist, gently flaring at hips and breast, with long, slender arms and legs, Kakashi remembered too well how soft and just damn _perfect_ that body had felt beneath his. For a moment, it was all he could do to take another breath.

He forced his gaze to move before he truly embarrassed himself and looked down at her feet. Instead of the traditional geta, she wore tabi that covered her feet and disappeared beneath the hem of the yukata–as always, she was careful to keep those scars well hidden. His gaze returned to her face and he noticed one final thing–her hair wasn't in its usual long braid. Instead, it was twisted into an intricate knot at the back of her head and secured there with a pair of ornamental chopsticks.

A vivid mental image ran through his mind of pulling those chopsticks out and tangling his hands in her hair while he kissed her senseless again…

Naruto snickered quietly beside him and Kakashi belatedly realized he'd been mutely staring at her for God only knew how long. "Suyo-chan," he said, bowing in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. "You look amazing tonight."

She smiled, her cheeks rosy, and Kakashi was suddenly glad Naruto was there–glad because he really did want to take Suyo to dinner. Sakura had told him how important it was to make a real effort to plan a good date and ensure Suyo had fun so she didn't think he was only after sex. If Naruto hadn't been here, Kakashi knew he'd have forgotten all of that and pulled her to the floor beneath him and kissed her until they were both breathless and drunk on it again. And while that would undoubtedly be an amazing way to spend the evening, it wouldn't do much for his attempts to convince Suyo that he wanted more than just her body.

He did, he truly did. But damn it, he wanted that body, too.

"Thank you, Kakashi-san," Suyo said as she returned his bow, still blushing and smiling at his compliment and very obvious appreciation. "You look very nice yourself."

"And if you both don't quit drooling over each other, I'm going to have to gouge my eyes out," Naruto added cheerfully. Kakashi sent him a glare and managed–barely–to refrain from smacking him again. The more time he spent with Naruto in Suyo's company, the more Kakashi was beginning to understand why Sakura hit him so much. "All right, Suyo-chan, I'm going to head home. Have fun, okay? Kakashi-sensei, treat her right or I'll kick your ass. Bye!"

Kakashi was already moving to take Suyo's hand before the door even closed behind Naruto. So he wouldn't give in to the urge to tear his mask off and kiss her–he still needed to touch her. Right _now._ "Are you ready to go?" he asked, his voice a little lower than usual.

She nodded as she interlaced their fingers. Kakashi savored the slide of skin as her delicate fingers wove between his larger ones and her palm gently pressed against his. He'd never held hands before and had always wondered at the appeal–now he knew. "Where are we eating?"

Kakashi smiled and took her other hand, wondering if she'd lace her fingers through his again–she did, and something inside him purred with contentment. "Well, restaurants are a little bit of a challenge for me–the mask, you know," he admitted, hoping she'd understand why he'd planned their evening like this and wouldn't think he was being cheap. Sakura had been adamant that he was _not _to be cheap, ever, period. "So, tell me something. Have you ever been to the top of Hokage Rock and seen the sunset?"

She shook her head. He gave a little tug on her hands and silently cheered when she willingly allowed herself to be drawn closer. "Naruto's tried to get me up there, but I've never gone," she said, stopping just short of pressing her body to his–his silent cheers stopped at that restraint, but his inner strategist started planning ways to get around it. "To be honest, that's just too many stairs for me."

He smiled down at her, reveling in her warmth, the scent of her, her trust in walking right up to him without an instant's hesitation. He released her hands and wrapped his arms around her instead–those inner cheers surged back with a vengeance when she returned the gesture and slid her own arms around his waist. "No stairs tonight, then," he said, making a series of hand seals behind her back. "Lucky for you that I know a short-cut."

Suyo gasped and clutched him tight as her apartment dissolved in a swirl of smoke and leaves. While all shinobi but the newest genin could perform the Shunshin-no-jutsu, it was damn hard to Body-Flicker two people, especially across such a distance. But Kakashi wasn't a genius for nothing.

And having her hold him so tightly was definitely worth the chakra use. "We're here," he murmured in her ear when the swirling movement stopped.

It took her a moment to release her death grip. Kakashi didn't hurry her–in fact, he'd be quite happy if she didn't let go for the rest of the evening. After a moment, Suyo raised her head from his chest and looked around. She gasped when she discovered he'd brought them to the edge of the cliff, giving her a perfect view of the village spread out beneath them as they stood above Hokage Rock. The sun was just setting, painting the buildings in gold and red. "Oh, Kakashi… it's beautiful," she breathed.

He'd seen it so many times he could probably draw it from memory, so Kakashi didn't bother looking at it again. Instead, he set about memorizing the play of light over her face and the breathy, awed way she'd said his name. Oh, yes, _that_ was something he'd have to hear again. And again. "I thought you might like this better than sitting inside a restaurant," he said, trying to tamp down on the desire that was trying to incinerate his better judgment.

She nodded, then hugged him tight. "Thank you."

That hug threatened to do all sorts of bad things to his self-control. Kakashi was both relieved and bereft when she pulled away. Unable to bear not touching her, he reached out and took her hand again. Suyo interlaced their fingers once more but didn't look away from the view, and he finally remembered that he'd planned other things than standing on the edge of this cliff. "Come sit with me," he invited, urging her toward the trees. She followed and he led her a little way through the woods, finally stopping at the base of a large oak where a cloth had been spread on the grass.

She smiled as she saw the spot he'd chosen. Surrounded by trees, the little area opened to the edge of Hokage Rock, showing the view while still being quite secluded. Candle lamps were scattered artfully around the picnic blanket and clearing. Kakashi sat down and patted the blanket beside him, belatedly hoping her yukata wouldn't restrict her movement enough to make this picnic uncomfortable, but she sank down beside him with ease. "I come here quite a bit. It's one of my favorite places, and we'll be assured of privacy here," he said by way of explanation as he reached for the basket he'd hidden in the bushes just before arriving at Suyo's. "I hope you don't mind a picnic."

"Mind?" she echoed, finally tearing her gaze from the view to give him an incredulous look. "Are you kidding? This is wonderful!"

"Good," he murmured. He reached up to untie his hitai-ate and held his left eye closed as he pulled it away. "And I hope you won't mind this, either."

Suyo bit her lip as he covered her eyes with his hitai-ate and tied it around her head. "Kakashi?"

He leaned forward and brushed his masked lips over hers–she just looked so cute wearing his hitai-ate, he could barely stand it. "I'm going to feed you," he whispered against her mouth. He parted his knees and drew her back to lean against him, her back to his chest. "All right?"

"I… I wouldn't look at you if you don't want me to, Kakashi," she said, a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "You don't have to blindfold me, really. You can trust me."

He pulled his mask down and pressed his lips to the curve of her ear. "I do trust you, Suyo," he said against her skin, loving the shiver that shook her as his lips brushed her ear with each word. "And that's not so easy for me to say. You'll see my face tonight, I promise, but that's not what this is about." He struggled for a moment, remembering that Sakura had told him women liked poetic words and elegant declarations, before giving up. Even if he could think of things like that, he was positive he'd sound completely stupid if he tried saying them out loud.

Instead he simply said what was on his mind, baldly, without trying to dress it up or make it more than what it was, and hoped that would be enough. "You care for everyone else, and right now, I just… want to take care of you, just a little. Will you trust me?"

She took a trembling breath and nodded, and the curve of her throat beckoned to him in a way Kakashi didn't want to resist. This wasn't part of his plan, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that a good shinobi was always ready to improvise. He nuzzled her ear, moving down lower, trying to provoke that shiver again… and when he got what he wanted, it just made him want more. She tilted her head a little to the side, inviting him to do that again, and Kakashi was happy to oblige with an open-mouthed kiss at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

The taste of her skin was a potent aphrodisiac. Kakashi forced himself to pull away before he completely lost his train of thought. He opened the picnic basket and reached inside, pulling out a random bit of food–a berry–and brought it to her lips. They parted and he slipped the berry inside, every ounce of his attention given to the sight of Suyo eating from his hand. He repeated the process, this time giving her a dumpling, and a shiver worked its way down his spine at the brush of her lips against his fingers.

He'd expected it to be sensual, but he hadn't anticipated just how much this little game would affect him. He should've known better. After all, this was the woman who'd driven him crazy with lust while simply bandaging his wrist. With every bite, Suyo relaxed against him a little more, but paradoxically, Kakashi's nerves and muscles tightened. He gave her a sip of sake, then licked her lips to catch a stray drop of the rice wine before it could fall to her chin. When he did that, Suyo made a hungry little sound in the back of her throat–a kind of trembling, purring moan–that seemed to utterly bypass his ears and hit him straight in the groin.

His libido immediately matched that sound with the breathy way she'd murmured his name minutes ago, and his brain started to gently disengage as all the blood shifted further south.

He barely knew what he was feeding her now–he couldn't tear his gaze from her face to so much as look at the basket Sakura had packed. "Kakashi?" Suyo murmured a moment later, catching his hand after he slid the latest morsel–a chocolate-covered cherry–into her mouth. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Starving." The word came out as a growl and his tone made it clear that food was the last thing on his mind.

Suyo smiled, and the expression was more than a little wicked as she brought his hand back to her mouth. Kakashi sucked in a shuddering gasp as she slipped his index finger past her lips and slowly licked every last trace of chocolate from his skin. When she finished, she turned her attention to his thumb. The sweep of her soft tongue over his callused skin brought a nearly desperate groan from him. She rewarded him by gently sinking her teeth into the fleshy pad of his thumb.

"So what's stopping you?" she asked, that wicked smile still curving her lips, and Kakashi couldn't think of a single reason at all.

Suyo turned in his arms as he finally gave in to the temptation to pull those lacquered chopsticks from her hair. The ebony locks tumbled down her back, over his hands. Her gentle fingers traced his unmasked face as his own hands dove into her hair. She traced his lips and leaned up to kiss him, and his heart pounded so hard with the force of his desire and anticipation he feared it might leap right out of his chest–

"Ahh, my Eternal Rival! At last I have Found You! I have a Message from… from…"

Gai's noisy announcement stuttered to a halt as he belatedly took in the scene before him. Kakashi briefly wished it wasn't unforgivable to kill a fellow Konoha shinobi… surely Tsunade-sama would understand just this once, though, right? Could Gai's timing have possibly been _worse?_

Suyo stiffened a little in his arms, and then she surprised him by quickly but carefully pulling his mask back over his face. "Later," she whispered in his ear.

"Yes," he whispered back, sliding his hitai-ate down to hang around her throat, uncovering her eyes. "Right after I dismember him." She giggled, blushing furiously, and Kakashi finally gave Gai his undivided attention.

In the form of a glare that should have rendered the Green Beast into a smoking patch of goo.

Gai was blissfully unaware of his imminent death, though. His hands were clasped dramatically over his heart as a waterfall of tears poured down his cheeks. "Oh, Kakashi-san, I am so Happy for you and Your Beloved! The Fruits of your Youthful Romance clearly Blossom this Spring! Forgive my Intrusion upon this Beautiful Moment! I will Immediately run three hundred laps Around The Village to atone for this Interruption!"

Kakashi had no intention of letting him get off that easily. "What do you want, Gai?" he growled.

His interruption didn't make a dent in Gai's monologue. Once he got started, it was difficult to make him _stop. _"… intrude in such a Lovely and Romantic setting such as this! I will Throw Myself from this Cliff if that is What It Takes to Earn your Pardon! I will…"

Kakashi groaned and leaned back to thump the back of his head against the tree. "Gai, _shut up_ already!" he shouted. And Naruto had really offered to fix Suyo up with _him_ over Kakashi? It boggled the mind. "Just deliver your damn message and go away!"

Gai's laments finally halted, although he still had his hands clasped over his heart and tears poured down his face. "Forgive me, my Eternal Rival, but I cannot. Hokage-sama has Requested our Presence at once," he said sorrowfully, and Kakashi's heart sank.

There was only one reason the Hokage ever requested two jounin to come to her office at once. A mission.

A mission with Gai, who had just managed to put a halt to the best moment of Kakashi's life.

Oh yes, the Green Beast would suffer for this.

But first, he had to think of Suyo. _His_ evening had been ruined, but he could still try to salvage something so she wouldn't think the whole date had been a complete bust. "Suyo-chan, I'm sorry," he said, caressing her cheek gently as she stopped staring bemusedly at Gai to look up at him. "I didn't intend tonight to end this way."

She smiled and covered his hand with hers. "I know. Guess it comes with the territory of being shinobi, right?"

He nodded. Never had he regretted that fact like he did now. "I'll take you home." Leaving Gai without a word, Kakashi shaped the seals and held onto Suyo tight as he Body-Flickered them back to her apartment.


	10. The Beast's Rebuke

**A/N: Again, thanks to everyone for the reviews! You people really do make my day. It makes me so happy to know you're having as much fun with Kakashi and Suyo (and Sai and Naruto and Sakura and Gai) as I am. Ahh, Gai, he's just so delightfully _insane_. But then again, I think being batshit crazy is a requirement of making jounin. Hmm, by that measure, Naruto ought to be a jounin by the end of the week… :-P**

**The disclaimer… do I really have to repeat it at every chapter? I don't own Naruto. If I did, Kakashi would go around shirtless pretty much constantly and I'd draw myself in as his girlfriend. Hamana hamana.**

Kakashi steadied Suyo as the reappeared in her apartment, anticipating a little extra disorientation this time around since he'd not only transported them over a mile again, he'd taken them from sitting to standing. Unfortunately, she recovered her balance quickly, which removed his excuse for holding her close.

This time he didn't let her go, though. To his delight, she didn't release him, either. For a long moment they just stood like that, silently holding each other in the middle of her dark living room. Finally Kakashi made himself speak. "I'm really going to kill Gai, you know."

Suyo laughed, the sound muffled against his chest. "Maybe just a little grievous bodily harm," she suggested instead. "Naruto says that Konoha needs all its shinobi for missions."

_Missions…_ he stifled a groan. "Actually, that's probably what this summons is about," he said. He stroked her hair, loving its softness in his hands, hating that he hadn't gotten the chance to feel it against the rest of his skin. "I don't know how long I'll be gone…"

She finished the sentence for him. "And you wouldn't be able to tell me if you did." She raised her head and smiled, but he knew her well enough now to see the tension hidden behind her eyes and the worry betrayed by the stiffness of her shoulders. "It's all right, Kakashi. I've known Naruto long enough to understand how this works."

"Should I tell you not to worry?" he asked, still caressing her hair.

Her smile vanished and she closed her eyes. "No," she whispered, shaking her head. "Don't tell me that."

"I won't, then." He released her to slide his fingers over her wrists. He raised her hands and placed them gently on his cheeks, over the mask. Her eyes opened with surprise. "I gave you a promise, Suyo. Do you still want to see me?"

It was an absolutely unprecedented offer. Oh, some had seen his face–Minato had seen him when he'd been a child, Ayame and Teuchi had caught a glimpse once as he ate at Ichiraku, and he was sure various medical nin had sneaked a peek or two over the years. And now that he thought about it, Gai had accidentally knocked his mask off during a sparring match a few years back, but Kakashi had retaliated by kicking Gai's ass so thoroughly he wasn't sure the Green Beast even remembered it. He'd certainly never mentioned it after he'd been released from the hospital. But to offer to let someone else remove his mask… Kakashi had _never_ done that before. He wondered if Suyo would ever realize what this meant.

Her fingertips slipped under the edge of the cloth and stilled there. "Are you sure?" she asked, not tugging the mask away, and he thought perhaps she did realize.

He nodded. It still surprised him just how much he _was_ sure. "Easier to kiss you with it off."

Suyo smiled at his attempt to relieve the tension, but she withdrew her hands instead of pulling the mask down. "When you get back. This is enough for now," she said softly, then traced a fingertip gently over the scar marring his left eye before going up on her toes to press a kiss to the closed lid. "Besides, you'll have more motivation to come home quickly if you know you've still got an outstanding promise to keep."

The swooping drop in the pit of his stomach could have been relief or disappointment–he couldn't quite decide which. But he just nodded, accepting her decision. "I've already got a lot of motivation to come home quickly, you know." He bent and brushed his lips over hers, and just as before, the cloth barrier didn't do much to dampen the fire that shot down his spine at the contact. He kissed her again, this time a little slower, lingering over it.

She laughed against his mouth. "You know, that mask probably thinks I like it quite a bit," she teased. "I think I've kissed it more than I've kissed you."

"Well, while I'm gone you can think of ways to even up the score when I get back."

Suyo smiled and gently moved away from him, softening her withdrawal by taking his hands again. Her smile quickly faded, though. "I'll do that, but only if you promise me one thing." He raised an eyebrow at her sudden seriousness. "_Don't_ think of me while you're gone," she said, her tone and gaze now almost fierce. "Think of me when you get back, but not for a single _instant_ while you're away. Keep your mind on the mission. All right?"

Kakashi nodded. He knew she was right, but he couldn't guarantee what his mind would do during the mission's inevitable downtime. Thinking of Suyo would certainly be more pleasant than his usual musings… but the distraction she presented could certainly be dangerous. "I'll do my best," he murmured, wishing he could give her the promise she wanted.

"Thank you." She let go of his hands and reached up to untie his hitai-ate from around her neck. "Here. Now go–you don't want to keep Hokage-sama waiting."

He accepted it and nodded, even though normally he didn't care if he kept _anyone_ waiting. The longer he stayed with Suyo, the harder it would be to leave. "I'll see you as soon as I get back," he promised, beginning to make the Shunshin-no-jutsu hand signs for the third time that evening.

"Please be careful," he heard her whisper as he vanished.

Kakashi didn't go to Hokage Tower, though–not yet. He arrived in his apartment and changed out of his civilian attire, scowling the entire time. Of all the fucked-up ways this date could've ended, getting called away to go on a mission–with freaking _Gai _of all people!_–_was definitely not an outcome he'd anticipated. That moment in the clearing replayed in his mind, sensual and tender and fraught with the promise of a kiss that would've sizzled the brain right out of his head, and that just pissed him off more.

What the _hell_ could be so important that Gai hadn't been able to wait five damn minutes to tell him? Why did the Green Beast have to be so oblivious that he hadn't bothered to check out what was happening in the clearing before announcing himself like that? Wasn't a shinobi supposed to be aware of his surroundings? What the hell kind of stupid excuse for a jounin was he?

He'd worked himself into a fine temper by the time he arrived at Hokage Tower–leaping from roof to roof this time to conserve his chakra for the mission ahead instead of employing the Body-Flicker again. The thought of retrieving Gai before arriving at the Tower didn't so much as cross his mind. He didn't much care if Gai waited all damn night at the clearing because Kakashi sure as hell wasn't going up there to find him.

To his great displeasure, however, Gai was waiting for him when he landed on the roof of Hokage Tower. "Kakashi-san, I–"

Kakashi's fist flew before he even had a chance to think about it. The only concession he made to the upcoming mission was to make it a straight punch, not a chakra-enhanced one–oh, he was still going to make Gai suffer, but it would be counterproductive to disable his mission partner. His full retaliation would have to wait until their mission was completed.

But regardless of the mission, Kakashi had to have a little payback right _now._

Chakra-loaded or not, his punch still sent Gai flying a good five feet before he skidded to a stop against the low wall that encircled the roof. He sat sprawled there as stars danced in his stunned eyes. Kakashi advanced on him, glaring death, both fists still clenched. "Next time, _assess the fucking situation_ before you go charging in, you bloody idiot!" he snarled.

Gai rubbed his jaw, wincing. "Forgive me, Kakashi," he said, and for once, his tone was genuinely contrite. "I just… it never occurred to me that you… I mean, you never…"

_You never give women the time of day. _Kakashi didn't need him to actually finish the sentence. "You're right, so when I do, it means I _really_ don't want great lumbering morons crashing in and wrecking everything," he growled. He finally lowered his fists but didn't offer Gai a helping hand up. The memory of this afternoon's humiliating hours with Sakura burned though him, fueling his anger even more. "You have no idea what I went through to even get that date set up, damn it, and when it was going so well… grah!" He punched the wall beside his self-proclaimed rival's head, leaving a spidering circle of cracks in the stone, before shoving his hands in his pockets and glaring down at the stunned jounin again.

His words were now clipped and savage. "For future reference, Gai, if Konoha isn't on fire, the Hokage hasn't been taken captive, Sound nin aren't rampaging in the streets, or Naruto isn't in full-on Fox Mode killing everything in sight, _nothing_ is so important it can't wait five fucking minutes. Got it?"

The Green Beast lowered his eyes sheepishly. "… got it," he said meekly, still rubbing his already-swelling jaw.

"Good." Kakashi took a deep breath to calm himself, and suddenly caught a whiff of Suyo's unique fragrance from his hitai-ate. More than anything else, that helped him rein in his fury before he went too far. "Now come on. Let's get this mission started so we can get it over with."

Tsunade was waiting for them in her office, frowning over a scroll in one hand while the other held an empty sake cup. "Finally," she snapped when they landed silently outside her open window. "I have an urgent S-rank mission for the two of you. Get in here."

Kakashi and Gai obeyed and stood at attention in front of her overloaded desk. She threw the scroll at Kakashi, who caught it with the flick of one hand. "We received this message from the Daimyou of Marsh Country. Chichiyasu-sama's son is being held for ransom. The mission is to retrieve the child and dispose of the kidnappers in any way you see fit, as long as it's messy enough to deter anyone else who thinks kidnapping is a good way to make a living. As usual, Konoha cannot be implicated in any way, so discretion is vital. Got it?"

"_Hai."_ The two jounin nodded sharply as they answered together. Kakashi read the scroll, pushing everything out of his mind except for this mission, becoming the "perfect shinobi" once more. He understood why Tsunade had chosen the odd team she had–in addition to the Sharingan and all the jutsus it put at his disposal, Kakashi was quite possibly Konoha's foremost expert in all the various messages that could be sent through death. While Gai, despite his penchant for vivid green spandex and over-the-top dramatics, was a taijutsu master whose incredible power could smash through any enemy line when he chose to open his Chakra Gates. Despite that, he still possessed the ability to set a terrified child at ease… and unbelievable as it might seem, Gai actually _could_ blend in when he put his mind to it.

Really, sometimes Kakashi thought the Green Beast's masks were every bit as good as his own.

He passed the scroll to Gai after he'd read everything, already making a mental list of supplies and weapons he'd need to gather before they set out. They asked a few questions, but the scroll was really all the mission briefing they needed. When Tsunade dismissed them a moment later, Kakashi and Gai didn't even have to speak to know that they would gather supplies at their individual apartments before rendezvousing at the gates in fifteen minutes.

They set off without a word when Kakashi arrived (on time twice in one night, not that anyone would ever give him credit for it, he thought wryly). Due to the urgency of this mission, they leapt through the trees rather than walking along the road. For nearly an hour, Kakashi was certain that they both had their minds firmly on the mission.

Until Gai broke the silence. "So who is she? I didn't recognize her."

Kakashi nearly missed the next branch. After their little altercation on the roof, he'd assumed Gai would realize that the subject of that interrupted date was firmly off-limits. "Why should you have?" he returned, hoping his curt answer would preclude further questions.

Gai gave him a surprised glance. "Well, I do know most of Konoha's shinobi by sight, even if I haven't worked directly with them all," he said with a shrug. "I mean, we see each other at meetings all the time, right? I know she can't be a jounin because then I'd have recognized her right off. So what is she, a chuunin? Tokubetsu, maybe?"

It took a moment for Kakashi to figure out what the hell Gai was talking about–what did rank have to do with Suyo? Then he remembered that she'd been wearing his hitai-ate when Gai had made his most unwelcome entrance. Naturally he'd assume Suyo was simply displaying her ninja symbol as most of Konoha's shinobi did at all times. "The hitai-ate was mine," Kakashi said shortly, hoping this would end the matter. He really wasn't interested in discussing with Gai just _why_ Suyo had been wearing his headband. The man was the poster-child for tactlessness. "She's not shinobi."

The Green Beast actually skidded to a halt, jaw dropping in shock. Kakashi had no choice but to stop, too–it was against protocol to split the team during routine travel. "What?" he demanded, automatically going on full alert and scanning the area for the chakra signatures that could indicate unknown nin or jutsu traps. He found nothing–just what he'd expected this close to Konoha. "You can't need a rest already. We're on a tight time-frame here, so–"

Gai didn't even seem to have heard him. "You're… no, you're joking. She's a _civilian?"_

The incredulous tone in which he said that word grated on Kakashi's already raw nerves. He stared, utterly stunned at his partner's unprofessional behavior. Gai had actually stopped–was _delaying their urgent mission_–for this? He could hardly believe it. "This is not a subject that is open for discussion, Gai," he growled, turning his back on his partner and preparing to leap away again.

Gai grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. "Kakashi, come on–you know better than this," he said, and only the earnest, concerned tone of his voice prevented him from getting punched again. It was hard to beat up someone who sounded so genuinely distressed. "Getting involved with a civilian…"

Kakashi marveled at the jounin's nerve. He was either very brave or truly, deeply suicidal. "What happened to the joyful blossoming of my youthful springtime romance and all that bullshit?" he asked, hoping to short-circuit this before it went any further. After what Gai had done tonight, after nearly getting his jaw broken for it, he couldn't really be stupid enough to criticize Suyo to Kakashi's face. Surely he couldn't.

Apparently he could. "That was then, Kakashi," Gai said anxiously. "Civilians can't handle us, you _know_ that. I never thought you'd do something so foolish."

Hmm… _hard_ to beat up someone who sounded so worried, but definitely _not_ impossible. "With every word, you take your life in your hands," Kakashi growled, keeping his back to Gai.

But again Gai disregarded his own personal safety and pressed the issue. "They think they want a ninja, but they don't," he went on implacably in that concerned tone, squeezing Kakashi's shoulder to emphasize his words. "Civilians have a romanticized idea of what a ninja is, what a jounin is, but you and I both know that it's nothing like reality. They don't have any understanding of what we really do. They don't _want_ to know what we really do. And when we come home with new scars and nightmares and someone else's blood soaking our clothes, they can't handle it. Remember Ibiki?"

Kakashi closed his eyes and stifled a sigh. He didn't want to remember Ibiki, but he did. He remembered the Interrogation and Torture specialist's retrieval mission that had ended so badly. Remembered how the tokubetsu jounin's civilian fiancée had taken one look at his horribly burned head and slashed-open face and just _screamed_. Remembered that she'd been gone from the home they'd shared when Ibiki had finally been released from the hospital, and when Ibiki had tried to persuade her to come back, that she'd get used to his new scars, she'd finally fled Konoha altogether just to get away from him.

And he remembered how long it had taken Ibiki to get past that betrayal… if he ever truly had.

The same scenario had played out over and over with various shinobi, and Gai and Kakashi had witnessed it every time. He could admit that. But Gai didn't realize that Suyo wasn't in the same class as the villagers of Konoha. Her past had given her an understanding of shinobi that most civilians could never even touch. "Suyo isn't like that," Kakashi said simply. "Trust me on this. She understands exactly what shinobi are."

"She's a _civilian_, Kakashi. I just don't want to see you hurt." Gai clearly thought that was all there was to say.

It wasn't, but Kakashi wouldn't betray Suyo's trust by explaining to Gai just why she was different. He'd seen how she protected those scars and how uncomfortable she'd been when she'd realized that Kakashi had seen them. She hadn't said a word, but somehow he knew she'd trusted him with that secret, just as he'd trusted her the night he'd come to her in such distress. That shared trust was something so very precious to him. He would never betray it by telling anyone else about what she'd gone through, even if her past wasn't classified.

"She understands more than you give her credit for," was the only explanation he offered, remembering her insistence that he promise _not_ to think of her. That wasn't the kind of thing a civilian usually asked for. "And I want this, Gai_._ Do you understand? _I want this_, so you'd be wise to back the hell off."

He sensed Gai's frustration with what he clearly saw as Kakashi's refusal to acknowledge the facts of shinobi life. The Copy-Nin was about to suggest they get underway again when Gai spoke once more. "If it's just that you're lonely," he said hesitantly, trying a different tactic, "you know Anko's got a thing for you…"

Kakashi surprised himself by laughing. Could Gai really, even for an instant, think he could simply replace Suyo with some other woman who happened to be a kunoichi–and _Anko?_ It was almost too ridiculous to get angry about. "Anko's insane, Gai."

"Yes, well…" He really had no argument for that–it was true, after all–and his voice trailed off for a moment. But he didn't give up. "What about Shizune?"

Kakashi shook his head, chuckling again. "Oh, yeah, like I need another female to fuss over my chakra levels after every mission," he replied drolly. "Because Sakura and Tsunade-sama just don't nag me enough."

The Beast tried again. "Inuzuka Hana? She'd like your ninken."

"My ninken don't get a say in this, and I don't even _know_ Inuzuka Hana." But the increasingly hopeful way Gai kept suggesting kunoichi was starting to wear away at his patience. Ridiculous as this was, the humor value was now officially exhausted. He turned around and knocked the jounin's hand off his shoulder. "That's enough, Gai," Kakashi said firmly, meeting his partner's concerned gaze with a hard glare that showed just how much he wasn't kidding. "We're supposed to be on a mission to rescue a kidnapped child, if you'll remember, not standing around having a chat about whether or not you approve of my love life. In the future, when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. Now _drop it."_

Luckily for Gai, this time he submitted to the suggestion with a muttered, "Fine." Kakashi was glad he wasn't going to have to beat him down again to shut him up. He was arrogant enough to know he'd rung the Beast's bell good back there at the Tower, while still being realistic enough to realize he'd only gotten such a clean shot due to surprise. It definitely wouldn't be that easy a second time.

"Good," Kakashi said with a sharp nod. "Now can we get moving? I really don't want to be away from Konoha any longer than we absolutely have to."

Gai made a face at that, but Kakashi chose to ignore it. The last thing he wanted was to give the Green Beast another opening to continue his concerned lecture. Kakashi leapt back into the trees, Gai right on his heels again. Seconds later, the scene of that extremely uncomfortable heart-to-heart was disappearing in the distance.


	11. Real

**(very random) A/N: Does anyone else ever watch _Ninja Warrior_ on G4? Swear to God, that show cracks me up like DAMN. There's just so many reasons to love the Japanese. The totally serious way they embrace obstacle courses, even if they compete in ridiculous outfits, is just one of my personal favorites. Tonight we're watching the all-women's tournament on G4–called _Kunoichi_ instead of _Ninja Warrior, _for obvious reasons–and yanno what, I think I could actually do that course. **

**Right up until the Barrel Roll, that is. Then I'd be toast. Soggy, defeated, humiliated toast.**

**I don't own the rights to any of the _Ninja Warriors_… er, I mean, shinobi… invented by Masashi Kishimoto, nor the world he created around them, but if he wanted to give them to me, I certainly wouldn't turn him down. Maybe if I beat the _Kunoichi_ course, I could persuade him…???**

Returning to Konoha in the middle of the night was becoming something of a habit, Kakashi thought tiredly as he and Gai finally caught sight of the gigantic gates. They looked ghostly, almost insubstantial in the moonless darkness. Even so, Kakashi thought he'd rarely been so glad to see them.

This mission had been a nightmare from start to finish. The only bright spot had been the joyful reunion of Chichiyasu-sama and his young son. Keitaro had been remarkably brave throughout his ordeal, especially for a seven year old who'd had no shinobi training, but when he'd seen his father, that tight control had cracked and he'd run to the Daimyou's waiting arms. The sight of the boy's happy tears had done Kakashi a world of good. Until that moment, Keitaro had reminded him a just little too much of himself.

The rest of the mission, however… Kakashi grimaced. The word _disaster_ came immediately to mind. Rarely had the Copy-Nin gone on a mission with such terrible intelligence.

To start with, Keitaro's kidnapping wasn't the act of opportunistic bandits as the Daimyou's message had led them to believe. The kidnappers were led by none other than an A-rank missing nin–a nin who just happened to be Chichiyasu-sama's twin brother, a man bitter over the three minute age difference that made Chichiyasu the Daimyou instead of him. The message had also reported a group of roughly ten ambitious but fairly unskilled brigands. Almost at once Kakashi and Gai had learned that it was more like two dozen disciplined fighters, at least half of them trained shinobi. And to cap it off, the band's emcampment wasn't where they'd been reported to be. It had taken two days to track them down. The kidnappers' experience and skill showed in the location they'd selected–instead of a moderately defended woodland camp, the Konoha jounin found themselves faced with infiltrating a heavily fortified cave surrounded by traps.

Putting that all together, he and Gai had found their hands full just laying their hands on Keitaro without getting the boy killed, to say nothing of eliminating the band. If Tsunade had known what was in store for them, she'd have surely sent at least a four-man team. This was not an appropriate mission for two jounin, no matter how skilled they were.

Without any ego at all, Kakashi could truthfully say that no other two jounin could have handled it. It was only due to the judicious use of Kakashi's ninken for recon and trap detection, Gai's nearly unbelievable strength when he opened his Chakra Gates, and Kakashi's Sharingan and viciously accurate jutsus that they'd gotten Keitaro out of there at all, much less rescued him unharmed. Only once the boy was safely out of the cave and protected by Kakashi's nin-dogs had they returned to the cave for the second part of their mission.

And he and Gai had certainly upheld the directive to make the brigands' deaths messy enough to deter further attempts to kidnap the boy, Kakashi thought grimly. If the Hokage needed any proof of that, all the two jounin had to tell her was that they'd burned their uniforms afterward.

Some things, no amount of washing could remove.

Gai nodded at Kakashi as they crossed the boundary and entered the village. "I'll report our Valiant Success to Hokage-sama," he offered, giving an only slightly less vibrant version of his thousand kilowatt smile than usual–the only hint that he was the least bit fatigued when Kakashi knew the Beast was just as exhausted as he was. "You should probably get checked out at the hospital, my Eternal Rival. There is No Honor in Defeating you until you are in Top Form once more!"

Kakashi nodded, having absolutely no intention of doing so. No way in hell was he going to give Shizune or Tsunade a chance to order him admitted for bedrest when there was nothing wrong with him that a few hours sleep wouldn't cure. "Don't forget to tell her to charge the Daimyou double," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck wearily. "At least."

"Have no fear!" Gai replied, grinning again and punctuating it with his signature thumbs-up. "I will make sure that Tsunade-sama demands Fair Recompense for this Difficult and Dangerous Mission!"

"Yeah, okay." He waved a hand and was glad when Gai took the hint to leave and leapt up onto the rooftops. He didn't have the energy to deal with Gai's indefatigable spirits right now, and if he had to look at that green spandex any longer, he just might puke.

And that was damn uncomfortable in a mask.

He sighed and started walking at a much more relaxed pace than Gai. Although Kakashi made his way through Konoha's nearly deserted streets slowly, he had no hesitation at all in choosing his destination. This time he didn't even try pretending that he was heading to Suyo's apartment for any reason but pure selfishness.

Yes, he knew she would've been worried over the last eight days, and he'd promised her that he'd see her as soon as he returned. He also knew she wouldn't mind being awakened. Visiting her now instead of waiting for morning would alleviate her stress, it was true. But those weren't his main reasons for going to Suyo.

In truth, he was going there for two things–her eyes, and her voice.

Right now Suyo could give him something no one else could. She could remind him that he was actually _human_. The sight of those lovely green eyes would help to chase away the images of what that cave had looked like when he and Gai had gotten through with it, and the sound of her soft voice would erase the echoes of so many dying screams.

He needed her. Badly. And for a man who didn't need anything, he thought he really should've been more alarmed by that.

Even walking at such a slow pace, it didn't take long to reach Suyo's building. He knocked on her door just as the clock tower struck one a.m., and just like when he'd brought Naruto here, it took a remarkably short time for the light to come on inside and shine beneath the door. Either she was an extremely light sleeper or she'd been lying awake, worrying. Kakashi hoped it was the first as he ran a hand over his hair–a useless effort–and attempted to stand up a little straighter. He didn't want his appearance to alarm Suyo when she looked through the peep-hole and saw him. At least this time, there was no blood to frighten her–his uniform was immaculate, his few injuries neatly bandaged.

He heard her gasp through the solid wood an instant before the locks clicked and she flung the door open. The sight of her there in the doorway, framed by golden light, dark hair cascading unbound over her shoulder and her legs bared once more by that short robe, nearly brought him to his knees. "Kakashi!" she cried, reaching out to him with both hands, and his chest tightened almost unbearably with the need to drag her into his arms and just hold her close until the memories of this damned mission faded to nothing.

But he held up a hand instead. He had to say this first–had to give her fair warning. "I want you to know," he said, barely recognizing the husky sound of his own voice, "that if I come in now, I will not leave. It's your choice, Suyo."

She didn't hesitate. In fact, she was already moving before he'd even finished speaking. Grabbing a fistful of his flack vest with one hand and pulling his mask away with the other, Suyo dragged him inside and kissed him with so much passion, it drove the breath from his lungs. Her tongue in his mouth, one hand diving into his hair and the other in a virtual death grip on his vest, she didn't even give him the option of resisting her.

God _damn,_ if Kakashi had ever doubted Suyo wanted him as much as he wanted her, those doubts were instantly incinerated.

His arms were around her a second later. Kakashi lifted her against him and she climbed his body like a tree, wrapping her legs around his waist as she unzipped the vest to slide her free hand inside. He groaned into her mouth, kissing her back for all he was worth and barely remembering to kick the door shut behind him as her slender fingers pushed beneath his uniform shirt. A quick spin pinned her between the cool wood and his overheated body as he swept into her mouth with his conquering tongue. The hungry little gasping moan she made when he cupped her ass in both hands rocked him like gasoline thrown on a bonfire, and his fatigue vanished under a tsunami of nearly desperate need.

Kakashi tore his mouth from hers to trail a line of open-mouthed kisses down her throat. As it had during their ill-fated date, the taste of her skin sizzled along his nerves and exploded at the pit of his stomach in a nearly unbearable wave of desire. He found that particularly sensitive spot just at the juncture of neck and shoulder and concentrated there, urged on by those gorgeous sounds she made. Suyo's legs squeezed his waist as her hand tightened in his hair to hold him there, and the sensory overload threatened to drive him insane.

That was the only reason he didn't immediately realize she was speaking until she'd called his name three times. No one had ever made him forget his surroundings like she did. "Kashi, wait," she gasped again, and the shortened pet-name he'd always hated somehow sounded amazing on her lips. "We can't–not out here–Naruto's been staying with me while you were away–"

He felt a brief surge of gratitude toward Naruto for keeping an eye on Suyo while he'd been gone, but even so, he had no intention of letting the blond interrupt this time. Since speaking seemed a little beyond his capacity at the moment, he didn't even try to answer her. He simply kissed her deeply again as he carried her across the living room toward her bedroom.

Suyo reached behind her and opened the door, her other hand still beneath his shirt. She'd found the hem of his tight undershirt and he shuddered as those clever fingers finally, _finally_ skated over his bare skin. "Christ, Suyo," he gasped, awed by her passion as he reluctantly released her so she could practically tear his flack vest off, "did you miss me?"

She growled–_growled!–_and bit his lower lip. Her aggressiveness was truly making him crazy. Kakashi slapped the door closed behind him and instinctively reached for the light switch, kissing her again. More than he wanted his next breath, he wanted to see this desire–desire for _him–_written on her face, reflected in those eyes.

But Suyo suddenly covered his hand, preventing him from flipping the switch as she broke the kiss. "Don't," she whispered, all her confidence abruptly gone. "I need it dark, 'Kashi, please. My body… it's ugly."

Kakashi's chest tightened at the pain in her voice, the self-doubt. No, he would _not_ allow that tonight. She had been so generous in accepting him–he would give her no reason to doubt that he could accept every part of her in return. "Everything about you is beautiful to me, Suyo," he murmured against her lips. Although he knew she didn't believe that now, it didn't stop him from hoping that someday, she would. "But we can keep the lights off if you prefer it that way." He released the switch and stroked her hair instead, that gorgeous, amazing hair that had bewitched him since the moment he'd met her. "You should know by now that I'll do anything you want."

She trembled in his arms for a moment before kissing him again with the same passion she'd shown before. He gladly followed her lead, one kiss blending seamlessly into the next, their hands everywhere, touching and caressing and exploring as clothes were discarded with increasing fervor. His hitai-ate was the first thing to go–Suyo dispensed with that so she could run her hands through his wild hair unencumbered. With every rake of her nails across his scalp, delicious shivers chased up and down his spine. He untied her robe next. There was a brief, desperate, hilarious moment where they got tangled up trying to get rid of her robe and his shirt at the same time, but after a little struggle, they finally managed to remove both.

Exploring by touch, he discovered that she wore a short summer nightgown. He pulled the thin straps off her shoulders with his teeth, scattering kisses and little bites over the skin he'd revealed. Meanwhile, his hands were busy beneath the hem of the gown, sliding up her thighs to cup her ass once more. She had his undershirt shoved halfway up his chest now as she did her own exploring, one hand tracing the chiseled lines of his abs, dipping into his navel, skimming up to his ribs.

And when he felt her other hand working at his belt, Kakashi nearly came right then.

"Suyo, sweetheart, you're killing me," he groaned, pressing his face against her throat as she unfastened his pants and let her talented fingers dip down to explore this new territory. Unable to bear the wait any longer, he kicked off his sandals and helped her shove his pants and boxers away.

She laughed, a throaty, feminine sound of pure satisfaction, but her only reply was to bite his earlobe as she closed one gentle hand around his cock. His breath hissed out as her touch made his eyes cross with pleasure. "Seems a shame to die just yet," she whispered in his ear, squeezing slightly and smiling against his ear when his knees buckled and he moaned. "It would be such a waste."

Later, Kakashi had no memory of how his undershirt and her gown had vanished and they'd tumbled onto Suyo's bed. He wasn't entirely sure he hadn't used a jutsu to accomplish it. The _how_ didn't really interest him. All that mattered was driving her as crazy as she was driving him, and he set about it with intense dedication.

No part of her body escaped his caresses. Throat and stomach, thigh and breast, he touched and tasted to his heart's content, loving the sounds she made whenever he found a new sensitive spot to torment. He kissed and nibbled at her nipples until she writhed beneath him–God, he could've done that all night, listening to her gasping and moaning his name. His fingertips found dips and hollows, smooth unblemished skin, and the thickened ridges that could only be scars.

He wanted to kiss each and every one, but he didn't linger over them. Suyo clearly didn't know that Kakashi didn't need his eyes to see her and he didn't want her to, not until she was ready. He wasn't intentionally disregarding her wishes. He simply couldn't help it. His hands were so sensitive, he could read a scroll just by touching the paper and feeling the minuscule, almost microscopic thickness of the ink. So as he made love to every inch of her–and that was what this was, so much more than sex–he gradually formed a very accurate mental image of her damaged body. No part of her had escaped unscathed.

And he wished like hell that the bastards who'd done this to her were still alive so he could kill them all over again.

But those thoughts had no place here, not while Suyo held him so close and her breathy sighs and whimpers filled his ears. "Kashi, please," she moaned, hands tight in his hair, and he crawled up her body with every intention of obeying her plea.

Suyo wrapped her legs around his waist again as she had at her front door. Without the layers of clothing separating them, it was a temptation he had no desire to resist. He kissed her one more time, licking deep, loving how her tongue danced and teased and fought back against his rather than simply submitting.

_This is _real_,_ he thought in awe, feeling the slight tremble in the hands that caressed him, tasting the genuine passion in her kiss. He had never experienced anything like her. _This is real!_

Her worry, her passion, the way she'd dragged him inside when he would've hesitated… no one had ever welcomed him back from a mission like this. He wanted to tell her what she meant to him, but he had no words. "You are amazing," he whispered instead, wishing those three words could somehow communicate the message he should really have said with three others, and then he flexed his hips and slowly–oh _God,_ so slowly–sank inside her welcoming heat.

Her nails dug into his back as she arched, drawing him deeper. The little sting of pain only heightened his pleasure. He withdrew, then thrust again, shuddering down to his toes at the incredible feeling of Suyo wrapped around him, accepting him, taking every inch he had to give her. Sliding back again, reluctantly leaving her tight grasp, then sinking deeply into that slick heat once more… and again… and _again…_

When her inner muscles first tightened, and then convulsed around him as she came with cries she muffled against his shoulder, Kakashi groaned low and finally released his iron control. Thrusting faster, shorter, he strove for his own peak even while wishing he could make this last forever. When he finally came, it started with a tingling ecstasy in his fingers and toes that electrified every cell of his body in a wave of bliss more intense than anything he'd ever imagined. He wasn't sure but he might've groaned her name–his vision went black–and the feel of her, the scent of her, filled all his senses–oh, _God_–

When it was finally over, Kakashi had barely enough strength to fall onto his back beside her instead of smothering her by collapsing atop her. It felt like every ounce of energy had screamed out of him in that incredible orgasm. Suyo rolled over and draped herself over his chest, breathing just as hard as him. "Wow," she said breathlessly, turning her head slightly to press an exhausted kiss to his skin.

That single word gave him more pride than any praise he'd ever received. Kakashi grinned and managed to raise one hand long enough to tangle it in her hair. "Very wow," he agreed. His skin tingled where she'd kissed him. Such a small thing after all they'd just done, but that little kiss seared him to the bone with new pleasure. "Give me a minute and we'll do it again." Of course, that was all bravado–right now he wasn't sure he could even move, much less make love to her again.

It'd be worth a try, though. God, yes.

Suyo laughed quietly. He really, really liked the way her body moved against his when she did that. "It might take me more than a minute," she said sadly, her words ending in a yawn. "I'm afraid you've worn me out."

"Go to sleep," he murmured, gently stroking her hair and back. "You can wake me when you've recovered. I'll be ready for you." She laughed again and snuggled closer, and within moments, the slow, even rhythm of her breathing told Kakashi she'd drifted off to a deep, peaceful sleep.

Tired as he was, though, he didn't want to go to sleep yet. Snuggling with a lover was something he'd never experienced before–he'd always been gone almost as soon as the tremors of his orgasm ceased–and he wanted to savor it. He gently teased her hair from beneath her body, bringing it over to cover his stomach. The glossy tresses felt every bit as good on his skin as he'd imagined they would… but not nearly as good as it felt to have Suyo lying across him, utterly relaxed in slumber. Completely trusting him.

He stayed awake as long as he could, caressing her back, dropping the occasional kiss atop her head, just reveling in the contentment permeating his every cell. "You're amazing," he whispered again, wishing he could say the words that would tell her what tonight had meant to him, what _she_ meant to him… but he couldn't force them out, not even when she was beyond hearing them.

She murmured something indecipherable when he spoke, but didn't awaken. He was glad–she was clearly just as tired as he was. He could still hardly believe she'd worried for him this much. Shifting slowly, moving as cautiously as he possibly could, he carefully rearranged their position so that he was wrapped around her, her back snuggled to his chest, their legs entwined, his arms around her and their fingers interlaced. He buried his face in the soft pool of her hair and finally allowed himself to succumb to his exhaustion.

His last waking thought was that his life had never been so good.


	12. Sweet and Sour

**A/N: Wow, over 50 reviews! You people rock, you really do. *mwah* Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone! It makes me so happy to turn on the computer in the morning and see that **** email giving me a review alert. Better than coffee, I tell ya! ;)**

_***WHOOOP*WHOOOP*WHOOOOOP* This is an official ANGST WARNING. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill. This is an official ANGST WARNING. Brace for impact! *WHOOOP*WHOOOP*WHOOOOOP***_

**(PS–Nope, still don't own it.)**

Kakashi awoke alone–definitely SOP–and a little disoriented–which wasn't that unusual, considering how many odd places he'd slept during missions–and deeply, blissfully _happy_–

–which was downright unprecedented.

The disorientation was dispelled and his happiness explained with a single breath.

Flowers… or tea… or perhaps sweet inari rice… that gorgeous fragrance was so uniquely _Suyo._

And this time, her beautiful scent was mingled with his own.

Kakashi stretched a body that practically thrummed with contentment and knew he was grinning like an idiot; an exhilarated, amazed, just absolutely damn _happy _grin unlike anything he'd ever felt before. God, he'd never experienced anything so wonderful in his entire life as making love with Suyo. Sweet memories replayed in his mind. Her passion, her demanding nature, the amazing sensitivity of her body, those gorgeous, unbelievably erotic moans and sighs… not to mention the sheer luxury of falling asleep wrapped around her.

He'd never shared a bed for anything but sex in his entire life. Never snuggled with a lover, much less _slept_ with anyone. High-level shinobi never let their guard down totally, even in sleep, but still, it was as vulnerable as he ever got, and trusting anyone to be so close when he was in that state had always felt like foolishness. But Suyo… he hadn't even hesitated. Holding her sleeping body close to him had felt so natural, so perfect, when he'd expected it to be strange or awkward. And Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he'd rested so soundly. God, last night… nothing he'd ever experienced even came _close _to the wonder of last night_._

He could still hardly believe it had actually happened.

The only thing that could make this any better would've been awakening with her still cradled in his arms, but he understood why she'd slipped away while he slept. Lovemaking, no matter how spectacular, didn't automatically make a person comfortable exposing all their secrets–and if anyone could understand the need to hide a few things, it was Kakashi. They were still learning each other, still new to this. So Suyo wasn't ready for him to see her scars yet? One day she would be. He could be very patient when the payoff was worth it.

And he'd never wanted anything like he wanted this.

Kakashi rolled out of bed, still smiling as he looked for his clothes. He found his sleeveless undershirt hanging from the top of her wardrobe and pulled it on, adjusting the mask over his face. It took another minute before he located his boxers under the bed. His flack vest and pants lay crumpled in opposite corners–he pulled the pants on and draped the vest over the foot of the bed. His hitai-ate and long-sleeved uniform shirt, however, were nowhere to be found, but he couldn't seem to make himself mind all that much. Actually, his wildly scattered clothing made him grin all the more. She'd been as desperate to get him naked as he'd been for her.

Oh yes, Suyo was welcome tear his clothes off any time she wanted.

After a few more minutes of fruitless searching, he gave up locating the two missing items. It didn't matter all that much, anyway. He'd long ago gotten comfortable keeping his left eye shut, so the hitai-ate could wait. And of the two shirts he wore, the sleeveless top was the more important one since it had his mask attached. While Suyo's passion might've erased every single thought from his mind last night, Kakashi remembered now that Naruto had stayed in her spare room to keep her company during his absence.

He didn't mind that Suyo had seen his face–though now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure she'd actually _looked _before she'd dragged him inside and kissed him senseless–but no way in hell was Naruto was getting the same privilege.

As though in response to his thoughts, he heard the teen's low voice through the door. A second later came Suyo's murmured reply–and he was surprised to realize that he was the last one up today. That was definitely odd for a man whose conscience almost never allowed him to sleep in peace, but he was deeply grateful for the extra rest. His stomach growled as he caught a whiff of something cooking. He opened the bedroom door and saw Suyo and Naruto both in the kitchen–and he found his uniform shirt.

Suyo was wearing it over her pants instead of her usual tunic, and dear _Christ,_ Kakashi had never seen _anything_ sexier.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to drag Suyo back to bed and keep her there for the rest of the day. Why the hell did Naruto have to be here? _Control yourself,_ he told himself, his body cursing him he forcefully shoved the rush of lust aside. _He has to leave sometime, and when he does…_

He had to clear his throat twice before he could speak. "Good morning," he finally managed.

To Naruto's credit, he only stiffened for a moment at his sensei's arrival before relaxing again. "Try almost noon, lazy ass," he said, glancing pointedly at the window where the sun already hung high in the sky. Then a wicked grin spread over his face and he nudged Suyo with an elbow. "Suyo-chan, I gotta say it, I'm impressed. Kakashi-sensei _never_ sleeps late. You must've really worn him out!"

Suyo went crimson and slapped his shoulder with her spatula. "Naruto!" she squeaked.

"You're starting to sound like Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi chided mildly, struggling not to laugh. He crossed the room and added his own slap, popping the teen on the hitai-ate as Suyo dropped a pinch of garlic into the wok she was stirring. Despite the thump, he was grateful Naruto was joking around instead of scowling or sulking. He could have made this unbearably awkward instead of teasing them. His student had matured–when had that happened?

Kakashi slid an arm around Suyo's waist and nuzzled her ear. Without the high collar of her usual turtleneck to hide them, he saw several scars marring her throat and neck–most of them fine, thin, nearly invisible, but one nearly as thick as her little finger right over her spine. He pressed a masked kiss to it, unable to help himself. "Good morning," he murmured, letting his reawakened desire for her show in the low, sexy tone. "Want to ditch the chaperone?"

Suyo giggled–actually giggled!–and leaned back against him. "We'll feed him and send him out on a long errand," she whispered.

Naruto gagged. "Come on, people, we're about to _eat_," he groaned in disgust. _So much for maturity,_ Kakashi thought with a hidden smile. "You're going to kill my appetite! Save the mushy stuff for later, will ya? I'm going blind here!"

Kakashi kicked backward and caught the teen on the thigh as Suyo's cheeks pinkened again. He released her so she could pull down some plates and turned to send a quelling glare at his former student. "That's enough out of you, pest. And what have I told you about making a lady blush?"

Naruto scowled as he backed away, rubbing the new injury. "Sheesh, where's your sense of humor?" he complained loudly when he was out of reach. "I thought afterglow was supposed to mellow people out! What happened, sensei, you couldn't perform or something?"

Suyo whirled around to gape at him, face now positively flaming. "_Naruto!"_ she and Kakashi yelled at him together, and Kakashi tried to growl threats through laughter as Suyo kicked Naruto's shins and swung the stack of plates at his head. He ducked the blow with ease, totally unphased, laughing and dodging them both and asking if she wanted him to kick Kakashi's ass for being such a total loser in bed.

And something about the obnoxious, crazy, embarrassing scene felt so right, so exactly _perfect_, that Kakashi was tempted to open his Sharingan just to memorize it.

But it abruptly ended before he could.

Suyo suddenly skidded to a stop as Naruto leapt away from her. The plates slipped from her fingers and exploded like a bomb at her feet, but her face–no longer blushing but shocked, bloodless, white as death–didn't so much as twitch as they loudly shattered.

Somehow, this ridiculous, perfect moment had turned sour–deeply, hideously so. Naruto and Kakashi both dropped the playful act instantly. "Hey, Suyo-chan, what is it?" Naruto demanded worriedly, ignoring the razor-sharp shards of the broken plates and running to her side. "What's wrong? Are you cut?"

But Kakashi couldn't do the same. He was frozen in place, completely turned to stone, because the waves of horror and fear rolling off her were directed solely at _him._

"Hey, Suyo!" Naruto called her again, more urgently this time, grabbing her shoulders. "_Suyo,_ snap out of it!"

His touch seemed to break her paralysis. Suyo went wild, fighting Naruto, tearing herself away from him with such violent desperation that she lost her footing and fell sprawling on the floor. Naruto cursed and fell to his knees beside her, reaching out again. "Suyo, it's all right!" he said, pulling his hands back when she whimpered and curled–_cowered–_away from him, pressing herself into a shaking ball in the corner. "Look around–you're home!"

Kakashi found his voice at last. "Suyo?" he said hoarsely, taking a step closer, but her panicked eyes fixed on his arm at the movement. Her entire body shook in hopeless terror and she tried to back further away. Her bare feet skidded on glass, leaving streaks of blood as she attempted to retreat right through the cabinets behind her.

Kakashi knew he should be helping, should do something to erase that horrible, unreasoning fear from his lover's eyes, but her sudden breakdown had shocked him into near stupidity. The abrupt change from their silly game was the last thing he'd expected. What the hell had he done to frighten her so badly?

"_Shit,_ I won't be able to shake her out of this one." Naruto's voice was tight as he tried to sweep the broken plates away from Suyo.

"Shake her out of it?" he echoed, unable to do more than stare in helpless confusion.

"Yeah." The blond's voice was grim, a tone darker than Kakashi had ever heard him use before. "It's a flashback–it used to happen a lot when she first got here, but she hasn't had one this bad in a long time. What the hell set her off?"

His arm… she was staring at his _arm…_ and too late, far too late, Kakashi slapped his hand over the crimson swirls of his ANBU tattoo, knowing exactly what had triggered it. God _damn_ him, how could he have forgotten what ANBU had done to her?

Naruto had turned back to Suyo, missing Kakashi's realization as he sliced his thumb on one of the broken shards beside him. His hands flew through the familiar series of seals quickly before slapping the floor in a summoning jutsu as Suyo started to scream and scream and _scream_.

A small red toad appeared in a puff of smoke. "What the–Naruto, what's going on?" Gamakichi asked, slapping his front feet over his ears.

"_Get Kurenai-sensei!"_ Naruto had to yell to be heard over Suyo.

"I'm on it!" the little toad said, vanishing again in a swirl of smoke.

Naruto looked desperately over his shoulder when the toad was gone. "Kakashi-sensei! Come help me get her out of this glass before she cuts herself worse!"

Kakashi had to force his feet to move–it felt like guilt was gluing his feet in place. Her terror grew as he got closer. When he was five steps away she was weeping openly and he stopped, unable to force himself to make her fear any worse. He knew he should just grab her, move her out of the glass, and back off again, but she was so terrified he feared what even that small contact would do to her.

And he would need both hands to pick her up, which would mean uncovering his tattoo again.

Luckily, Gamakichi returned with Kurenai within seconds, before Naruto could notice Kakashi's hesitation. The jounin kunoichi had clearly seen this before because she didn't seem at all confused to see Naruto on the floor beside the shrieking woman. She brushed past the frozen Kakashi and knelt in the space Naruto had cleared in front of Suyo. The only sign of surprise she showed was when she realized what Suyo was wearing. She shot a brief, almost disbelieving glance at Kakashi, but quickly returned her focus to the woman huddled on the floor. "I haven't seen her like this in almost a year," Kurenai said, her delicate hands already dancing through seals. "What started it?"

"We don't know," Naruto answered. "We were all joking around and she just… freaked out."

The last hand seal complete, Kurenai's calming genjutsu washed through the room in a thick, sedating wave. Suyo's screams trailed off and finally stopped a moment later, but her sobs continued. The little apartment throbbed with tension as Naruto and Kakashi stared anxiously at the women.

Kurenai glanced over her shoulder at them. "You two should go while I try to bring her out of this," the genjutsu expert said quietly, beginning another series of seals. "It's easier to keep her calm if we're alone. I'll take care of her and send word when it's over, all right?"

"All… all right," Naruto whispered. He clearly didn't want to go, but he obediently walked to the door and shoved his feet into his shoes. "Kakashi-sensei?" he said questioningly when he realized Kakashi wasn't following him.

"I'll be right behind you," Kakashi told him. "I just want a word with Kurenai-sensei first."

Naruto stared at him for a long moment, long enough that Kakashi started to wonder if the boy was going to refuse to leave, before he abruptly nodded. "I'll wait for you outside," he said, and left without another word.

Kurenai was looking curiously at Kakashi, the probing look he so hated, but he forced himself to endure it. "It was my ANBU tattoo," he said, his fingers digging into his own flesh as his voice rasped out harsher than he'd intended. He couldn't help that. Seeing Suyo huddled there on the floor, shaking from head to toe, eyes squeezed shut against whatever private hell played in her mind, just hurt too damn much. "That's what started this. I… I didn't realize it would trigger… I didn't think to…" Realizing he was stammering, he stopped and took a deep breath. "I thought it might help you to know that," he finished, already turning to follow Naruto.

"Kakashi-san."

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob but didn't turn around to face Kurenai. "Yes?"

"This isn't your fault," she said gently. "It's only a reaction to the kind of trauma she's been through–you _know _how post-traumatic stress works. It's not personal. It's never personal, no matter what triggers it. If it hadn't been your tattoo, it would've been something else." She paused, and when he didn't reply, she sighed. "I thought it might help _you_ to know that."

He nodded and quietly slipped out, but it didn't help. It didn't help one damn bit.

**A/N: Mega thanks go out to o0-Constance-0o for beta-ing this for me! She's awesome. You people should check her Kakashi fic out. Srsly.**


	13. No More Masks

**A/N: I almost feel like I should apologize for the last chapter… but I won't. C'mon, you knew I couldn't make it _too_ easy on poor Kakashi. Where would the fun be if everything started going smoothly, anyway? Dude's gotta work for his Happily Ever After. It's the only way he'll really appreciate it once he's got it, am I right? Of course I am.**

**Naruto and all associated characters are the intellectual property of Masashi Kishimoto, not me. He rocks, and I can't draw.**

**-**

Until the first morning of summer, Kakashi thought that not seeing Suyo would kill him.

That morning, however, he discovered that seeing her could hurt far more than anything he could ever have imagined.

He stood beside the huge billboard on the rooftop above the building that held the Yamanaka flower shop, ostensibly waiting for Asuma to meet him at noon, but its proximity to Asuma's former teammate wasn't why he'd chosen this meeting place. This roof overlooked the entire Konoha marketplace. Carts, stalls, shoppers and vendors were all spread out three stories below him like tiny pieces in a miniature chess game, moving through his vision without ever noticing him crouching over them. Right now, he was obsessed with this damn market.

Because today was Wednesday, two days later than Suyo usually did her week's shopping, and Kakashi had given up pretending, even to himself, that he wasn't starving for a glimpse of her.

Naruto had already accused him of returning to his stalker-ish ways, and maybe he was right. Perhaps Kakashi was acting juvenile. If pressed, he might even admit this was more than a little desperate. But after a solid week without so much as a glimpse of Suyo, _desperate_ pretty much described every thought and emotion roiling through his mind.

And nothing was making it better–not Sakura and Sai's unsubtle efforts at distracting him and Naruto, not rereading the entire _Icha Icha _series (that actually made it worse)_,_ not training past the point of exhaustion, not Gai's endless and increasingly ridiculous challenges. Suyo might have fallen off the face of the Earth._ Even Naruto hasn't seen her, _Kakashi thought, the now-familiar acid worry returning to gnaw at the pit of his stomach. At least Naruto hadn't figured out why she'd freaked out so badly–otherwise Kakashi was fairly certain he'd be worrying from the hospital rather than here on this rooftop, hovering in wait over the market street like some silver ghost and praying for a glimpse of her.

_Only to make sure she's all right,_ he told himself, wondering why he even bothered with an excuse. He had every right to be on this rooftop. He had a meeting, after all. That was all the reason he needed to be here.

Of course, it didn't explain why he, the jounin notorious for being late, had been standing here since an hour before dawn, even skipping his daily trip to the memorial stone so he couldn't possibly miss seeing her. Didn't explain why he'd done the same thing for three days straight now, either. The explanation for that didn't require words. Just one stark image, a split second of time that would be forever branded in his brain.

_Suyo's pale, shocked face, her beautiful green eyes wide and horrified as the plates fell from her hands to smash on the floor, and her screams, oh sweet Gods and ancestors, those fucking _screams_…_

The memory wouldn't leave him alone. It tormented him waking and sleeping.

She'd been utterly, completely terrified, and _Kakashi had done it to her._ He'd plunged her back into her nightmares because he'd forgotten–_forgotten! _He growled at himself as he had for the last seven endless days, cursing his own idiocy–he should have bloody _known_ better, should have realized she'd recognize twin swirls of his tattoo for what they were, should have told her, prepared her, should have damn well cut the fucking thing off his shoulder–_anything!_–but no, he hadn't thought about that tattoo in years. It had been inked on his skin when he was thirteen, more than half a lifetime ago, and he'd nearly forgotten it was even there. And that stupid, _stupid_ mistake shot the most precious thing he'd ever found straight to hell.

Kakashi gripped the billboard post tighter, scanning the crowd with renewed intensity. _I just need to see her and make sure… even if she's still afraid of me… even if she hates me now… _He momentarily squeezed his eye shut against a wave of agony at the thought, the very real possibility that discovering he'd been ANBU would destroy any tender feelings she had for him. _Suyo, I just need to know you're all right._

Every second was endless, but he didn't relax his surveillance. The sun had fully risen and the market crowds were bustling below him when the frisson of awareness shot down his spine. He knew instantly what it meant–for once, _he_ sensed _her_ presence_,_ and his every sense went to full alert. Kakashi crouched below the billboard he'd been leaning against, searching the crowd with an intensity he usually reserved for assassinations, until he finally saw what he'd been waiting for.

The soft shine of sunlight off a long, glossy black braid.

Kakashi's fingers dug into the wood, leaving deep indentations he didn't even notice as he hungrily drank in the sight of her. Suyo wore purple today, her long braid falling down a dark tunic which covered pants and a long-sleeved turtleneck that were a shade lighter. The only skin exposed was her hands and face–even her sandals were closed-toed–hiding all her scars. He wondered how she could stand to bundle up like that during the blistering Konoha summers, but the thought was almost instantly forgotten. Her empty woven basket hung over her arm again. He caught a glimpse of a scrap of paper in her other hand, as though just waiting for Naruto to show up and beg to take it from her like he had the day Kakashi had first met her.

He winced. Damn, that memory hurt. Funny how just a week ago, thinking of that day had brought a smile to his face.

She paused beside a coffee vendor. Kakashi saw her shoulders rise and he inhaled deeply, too, his heightened sense of smell just catching a whiff of the brew. He hated that even his superhuman senses couldn't detect her own scent from so far away. She shook her head when the vendor spoke to her, though, and walked on. Every step took her further from his perch.

_Turn around,_ he thought to her back, wishing she could hear him. He desperately needed a new glimpse of her face, something that would erase the stark horror he'd seen written there the last time she'd looked at him. _Turn around, Suyo, please let me see you._

She was deaf to his silent pleas. Her braid swung gently as she walked to the vegetable seller and took her time over her choices–squeezing a tomato, thumping a squash, sniffing a bundled bunch of onions. He crouched lower for a better angle, now almost on his belly, staring out beneath the billboard. What was she planning to cook with them, he wondered? Mere days ago, he wouldn't have had to guess. She'd have invited him to share it.

God, he didn't need even enemy nin and twisted genjutsus to torture him. He was doing the job quite well on his own.

She bought the squash and onions, but skipped the tomatoes (he winced again at the memory of teasing her for her wicked aim with that particular vegetable) before moving on to a fruit stand. He moved again, this time stopping at the very edge of the billboard, trying to keep her in sight–that fruit stand was nearly two blocks from him.

And then Suyo froze, her hand still outstretched toward an orange.

Kakashi's heart stuttered in his chest. He knew that pose, that sudden alertness, but she didn't immediately turn around. Didn't scan the roofs and trees to find him. Kakashi stepped fully out from behind the billboard anyway, revealing himself as he always did when she caught him, _willing_ her to look up, to smile and wave at him as she used to. His tight grip left new finger-marks in the billboard as he waited with his heart in his throat.

Finally Suyo did raise her head, at last giving him the glimpse of her face that he'd longed for–but she was too far away, too damn far to make out the details of her features.

And as though hearing his silent pleas, she did gaze around, searching for someone.

When she found him, she smiled. And she waved.

But _he_ wasn't Kakashi.

"Iruka-sensei!"

He could only hear her because she'd raised her voice, and even then, it took all his concentration to understand the name she called. When he saw the chuunin at the coffee cart wave back to her, a cloak of angry red washed over Kakashi's vision.

It was nothing to the surge of fury that rocked him when Suyo rushed over and grabbed Iruka's hand, however.

_Damn it, I _never_ wanted her to be with you…_ _I thought she'd be happier with Iruka-sensei instead…_

He tried to shove those words out of his mind, shaking with a volatile mixture of jealousy and pain as his student's words echoed in his ears. He wouldn't believe Suyo had replaced him so quickly. His gut clenched as Iruka leaned close, intent on every word Suyo said to him, no doubt breathing in her special scent. For a moment, it was all Kakashi could do to fight down the killing instinct that rose like fire inside him.

He spun on his heel, directing chakra to his feet, desperate to get away before he made things worse and did something that would give Suyo a true reason to fear him… something like slaughtering the chuunin at her feet for daring to touch her when Kakashi couldn't.

"Ahh, my Eternal Rival! I have found you agai–"

Kakashi snarled at Gai as the Green Beast landed on the rooftop in front of him. "Don't challenge me now, Gai. _Don't,"_ he growled, clenching his fists so tight the nails had already cut through his gloves and skin and were working on muscle. It had been years since he'd felt such all-consuming, blinding rage, this _need_ for blood and pain and death_._ Fighting down the violent urge that was very nearly an imperative, he took two deliberate steps away from his rival. "I don't want to kill you."

The ever-present super-grin vanished instantly. He looked from Kakashi–cold, rigid, shaking with the force of his emotions–over to the splintered finger-holes in the billboard posts and out to the crowds of the market below. Gai's eyes lingered there for only a moment before returning to Kakashi again. His self-proclaimed rival's gaze was now as serious as he'd ever seen it and he knew the Green Beast had seen Iruka and Suyo.

To his credit, he didn't so much as hint at the words _I told you so. _"Kakashi-san," Gai said, his voice now so quiet it was almost normal, "I will not challenge you, nor will I ask any questions of you. I will only offer my services in any way you might need them." He hesitated, then added, "Including disposing of any stray body that might… appear… should it come to that."

It was a shocking offer from a man who prized his compatriots above all, even more so because Kakashi knew Gai meant every word. The message couldn't have been clearer–Gai might have seen this coming, might have warned Kakashi not to get involved with Suyo, but he too knew the unspoken rule and would still have the Copy-Nin's back, no matter what. Kakashi didn't trust himself to make any answer other than a curt nod before he leapt away. The last thing he needed was that kind of temptation when he was already fighting to keep from tearing Iruka's head from his shoulders.

He ran through Konoha, his meeting with Asuma forgotten. His mind was filled with just one thing–the relieved, welcoming smile Suyo had worn when she'd spotted Iruka. Somehow it was almost as painful as the look of terror she'd worn before. That smile was supposed to be _his,_ damn it! _She_ was supposed to be his! Had Iruka completely forgotten the unspoken rule about another ninja's precious person? Close as he was to Naruto, he _had_ to know about Kakashi's new relationship with Suyo. Was the chuunin-sensei fatally stupid?

Because the way Kakashi was feeling right now was the very reason that damn rule had come to be. Shinobi had to have absolute trust in their teammates at all times, and jealous ninja were serious adversaries. He fervently wished the school teacher was taking active missions instead of stuck in a classroom. Were Iruka to go on a mission any time soon, Kakashi would lie, threaten, bribe and blackmail whoever it took to get assigned alongside him. And during the mission, there was no doubt whatsoever the chuunin would meet with an unfortunate, painful, and very fatal accident.

Kakashi had arranged enough of them in his time to be an expert at it.

He ended up atop Hokage Rock, out of breath even though the run hadn't been that tiring. The ANBU headquarters and training grounds were here. Several ANBU glanced over at him as he landed in the center of the dirt clearing and although he couldn't see their faces beneath the white animal masks, it didn't take much imagination to sense their surprise at Kakashi's return. He hadn't been to ANBU headquarters in years, not since Jiraiya and Sandaime had forcefully retired him from the assassin corps. It was widely assumed that he was too damaged by his ANBU years to ever show his face here again… and that wasn't entirely incorrect. But Kakashi ignored all of that as he claimed a katana and stalked over to the nearest training dummy.

He deeply needed to beat the hell out of something, and he knew of no better place to do it.

*~*~*

Kakashi whirled, blades dancing, kunai and shuriken flying, the clash of metal on metal a fine symphony in his ears. Hands punched and grabbed and formed seals. The practice dummies lay abandoned and forgotten where he'd smashed the third to pieces. After that, without exchanging a single word, the gathered ANBU soldiers had converged on him.

Silent masked figures leapt at him and were punched or kicked away as the sun sank in the west. The dark violence inside Kakashi purred and flexed, roaring to life. This wasn't sparring. This wasn't training. This was nothing more or less than complete understanding from his former teammates. They sensed his mood and knew how useless words were when one of their number was in such pain. By attacking so he had an outlet for his rage, by showing him no pity or mercy, they provided Kakashi with the only kind of therapy he had ever understood.

_This…_ this was what he needed, the burn in his muscles and the thrill of the fight and the pain of the few strikes that managed to reach him–this fight that drove everything else from his mind, that gave him the oblivion that meant he didn't have to think about Suyo standing there with Iruka.

The ANBU soldiers were good, amazing really, so Kakashi didn't have to hold back–they certainly didn't. If they were foolish enough to allow one of his attacks to get through, they deserved to bleed. Still, even knowing that he wouldn't be allowed to go too far, he didn't let himself to succumb completely to the killing frenzy that wanted to swallow him whole. He aimed his kunai at legs and arms and armor, turned his katana so the flat of the blade, not the edge, met skin when he broke through their guard, and his Sharingan-guided strikes were not chakra-charged. He fought three ANBU, four, five, _all_ of them, and their battle took place in utter silence.

Kakashi had almost succeeded in working off his rage–some of it, anyway–when he sensed a sudden wave of tension sweep through the practice field. The spell broke. He couldn't stop at once, though–three more slashes took shuriken out of the air, and a hard block and punch stopped an armored fist from smashing his throat. Only then was he able to give his attention to the disturbance.

And his body simply locked, breath frozen, even his _heart_ momentarily still.

Suyo stood at the entrance to the practice grounds, wide green eyes fixed on him and face pale. In an instant, he saw himself as if through her eyes. While not quite ANBU–his mask was black fabric, not white porcelain; while his body was clothed in regulation ANBU black, his arms were bare, lacking the armored gauntlets and silver vest of the ANBU uniform–he also didn't resemble Naruto's lazy jounin-sensei. His ANBU tattoo was as red as his Sharingan, both fully exposed to her view. Red as the blood now dripping from countless small cuts inflicted during this fight he'd needed more than he'd needed air.

Iruka stood beside her, one hand on her elbow. He murmured something in her ear and it was all Kakashi could do not to leap over there and kill him for daring to touch Suyo.

The rage inside him twisted and snapped. He even hated her for being with Iruka in that moment, for standing beside a man who didn't battle the demons Kakashi did, whose hands hadn't even come close to the kind of violence his had wrought. Hated her for seeking out a man who would never scare her as Kakashi had. It was an irrational rage born of pain and it crashed over him with a depth he'd only glimpsed in his darkest moments.

_Now_ she'd seen him at his worst.

Sick with that knowledge, body pumped full of adrenaline, mind and heart fighting at complete odds, Kakashi slowly straightened to his full height. No more lazy slouch. No more stupid jokes. He dropped his hands, kunai in one, katana in the other, and stared a challenge straight back at her with all the fury of a man allowed one taste of heaven and thrown back into hell.

_No more masks, Suyo. This is who I really am. And damn you if you can't handle that._

He was now only peripherally aware of Iruka standing behind Suyo. Only vaguely paid attention when the chuunin-sensei paled at the sight of Kakashi's pain and anger and took a step back. But he did notice when Gai abruptly stopped his retreat with one large hand clamped on Iruka's much smaller shoulder.

"Stick around, sensei," Gai said in a tone that made it clear this wasn't an invitation he could refuse.

But most of that was just unimportant background noise. Kakashi just stood there, blood-tipped blades in hand, hyperaware of the masked ANBU surrounding him, and waiting for that terror to cloud Suyo's eyes again and kill the last remnants of any affection she might have had for him. He had no doubts whatsoever that it would. If simply seeing his ANBU tattoo had sent her into such a spiral, seeing him like _this_ would definitely be the last nail in the coffin of whatever they'd been building together.

He watched, holding her gaze, waiting for the moment when she'd turn away for good.

Suyo took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself. The gesture made her look so small, so vulnerable, that it drove the air from his lungs, but he still couldn't move.

But somehow, _she_ could. Suyo took one step, then another, and it wasn't until the third that Kakashi really managed to realize that she was coming toward him rather than moving away.

She ducked her head and closed her eyes when she passed between two ANBU, shuddering a little. She didn't look up after that, but she kept coming. After what seemed like forever, she stopped right in front of him, a small, tense woman surrounded by the blank-masked warriors who haunted her nightmares.

And then she leaned forward and rested her forehead against his chest, and at the instant of contact, her breath left in a rush that sounded shockingly like _relief_.

Kakashi's weapons fell from fingers numb with shock. He was abruptly horrified that he'd held them in her presence. Suyo didn't say anything, didn't move again, just stood there with her face hidden against his shirt, and that was all it took to drive his own darkness away. Suddenly he hated that she'd come to him here. Training ground or not, this was a place where blood flew and bones snapped. It was a place of violence, and her gentle spirit had no place in it. Wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace, his hands flashed through a series of seals behind her back and swept her away with a Body Flicker.


	14. Hard Truths

**A/N: Phew, another looooooooong chapter--not the longest in this fic (for now, that title still goes to Broken), but still more than average. It just wouldn't _stop..._ Mucho thanks go out yet again to my beta, o0-Constance-0o, because she remains so very awesome. _*mwah*_ Everyone join me in telling her she is NOT ALLOWED to kill her computer again because I really thought she'd fallen off a cliff or something. Listen up, Con--no one but my kids is supposed to make me worry like that. :-) LOL! And let's not forget, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all you dads out there! Call your dad and tell him you love him. By the way, guys, a man who loves kids is hella sexy. Srsly.  
**

**This is a fanfiction written for fun, not profit. Suyo's the only one I own. And as mean as I've been to her, I bet the rest of 'em are pretty damn glad that I _don't_ own them... alas!  
**

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Kakashi wasn't thinking of a destination when he transported away from the ANBU headquarters with Suyo in his arms. At that moment, his only goal was to get her away from there. Suyo was outgoing and accepting, but he recognized that as one of her masks–one that hid an intensely private nature. And right now that mask was down. Kakashi would do whatever it took to shield her until she could repair it again because no matter what had happened between her and Kakashi, no one had the right to see her in such a delicate state. No one had the right to witness her pain or fear. No one, _no one_ had the right to her secrets.

Especially the ANBU who so terrified her.

And yet she'd braved them to come to him. That act told him more clearly than any declaration that her feelings for him went just as deep as his own for her, and despite his continuing tension, that gave him hope for the first time in days.

When the swirling of the jutsu ceased, he saw that he'd instinctively brought her to his apartment, within his layers of traps and wards–it was the safest place he knew. He'd brought her to the place he hid when he needed to fall apart, because regardless of Kurenai's aid, Suyo was clearly still falling apart, and Kakashi didn't know how to make it stop. He closed his eyes and fought the need to do battle on her behalf because there was nothing for him to kill. He would fight Shinigami-sama Himself for Suyo, would take on legions of ninjas or monsters or tailed demons, but her demons were inside. Her enemies were long dead and out of his reach.

He might be the legendary Copy-Ninja of a Thousand Jutsu, might be one of the most talented and dangerous shinobi in the history of Konohagakure, but none of Kakashi's famous skills were of any use right now. He'd never felt so helpless.

"I was the only one who knew when they were coming."

Her whisper was nearly inaudible against his chest. He frowned, wondering if he'd heard her correctly because her statement made no real sense to him.

She didn't lift her head. "I can't explain how I could tell," she said in that same faltering voice. "I could just... sense them coming, somehow. Feel them like... like a tickle in my mind."

The silence stretched longer this time, and he finally had to break it. "I don't understand," Kakashi murmured into her hair. The scent of her was like coming home. "Suyo, who could you sense?"

She shivered hard, but gave no other indication that she'd heard him. "I think it's the reason I survived so long. I knew when they were coming so I could pretend I was sick, or unconscious, or... but the others didn't. The experiments... they wanted us as healthy as possible when… when they… I faked being sicker than I was so they didn't use me as much. Not as much as the others."

Icy dread slithered down his spine as Kakashi at last realized what she was telling him. He had never expected her to talk about her time in that Sound prison camp–would never, ever have asked her to do so. He understood that some pain couldn't be blunted by any passage of time. Yet now that she was voluntarily reopening those wounds to share this with him, he wasn't sure he could stand to hear it. He didn't know what to do in the face of this astonishing show of trust. Words weren't his strength, never had been, so he didn't even try to say something to comfort her. Instead, he just hugged her tighter.

Her shivers slowly subsided in his embrace, but they didn't vanish altogether. "That's how I can tell when you're looking at me," Suyo went on a few moments later. "Or when Naruto tries to sneak up on me... I never know who it is, I can just feel it when someone's watching me. When it's a ninja."

_Chakra signatures_, Kakashi realized with a kind of awe. She was actually sensing chakra signatures. When a shinobi seriously trained their chakra, it developed a certain energy pattern, almost a mental flavor–difficult to describe, but very real and as individual as a fingerprint. It was how Kakashi could detect the difference between his fellow shinobi and enemy nin long before they were within range of sight or scent. Suyo's talent wasn't anything like that refined, but it was still incredible for a civilian to be able to sense chakra signatures at all. It was the kind of skill that took most shinobi months of training to learn.

But then again, Suyo had had two years of the most intense kind of training possible. Learning to listen to the instinct that warned that the Sound nin were coming to gather subjects for those damned experiments had become a vital survival skill. Seen through that lens, her ability didn't seem so improbable.

And now he realized why she'd thought Iruka was the one watching her this morning–she couldn't tell which ninja was watching her, just that one was. She'd seen Iruka looking at her before she'd found Kakashi, that was all. That realization finally defused his fury and jealousy of the younger man. She hadn't been asking him to help her get away from Kakashi, as he'd assumed at the time. She'd been asking Iruka to bring her _to_ him.

And the chuunin-sensei had. He'd somehow tracked Kakashi down, and he'd brought her to the ANBU training grounds.

Not knowing that he was putting her in the midst of the thing that frightened her most.

Suyo's hands were slowly twisting knots in the back of his shirt. Kakashi forced his attention away from Iruka and chakra to focus solely on her. It was a good thing he did, because when she spoke this time, her voice was so soft that he had to strain to hear her. "That's how I knew the... the ANBU ninjas were coming."

"Suyo..." Remorse stabbed him as he stroked her hair, wishing more than ever that he was good with words, that he knew what to say at times like these. _Damn_ him for not warning her about his ANBU tattoo! "Suyo, I'm so–"

_"Don't,"_ she cut him off firmly, and he fell silent as though his voice had been cut off by a switch. Her tone softened again at his instant silence. "Please... this is hard. I just... I have to say this now, before I lose my nerve. I need you to know."

Kakashi nodded. "All right," he murmured. Although whatever she wanted him to know would probably hurt like hell to hear, he wouldn't interrupt her again. Kakashi lifted her in his arms and carried her to the couch, then sat down with her cradled in his lap. As soon as she was settled, he resumed stroking her hair, hoping it would provide some kind of comfort. That it would help her get through it somehow.

Suyo took a shuddering breath before speaking again. "All that day, I sensed them getting closer. I knew a lot of people were coming, but I didn't know who they were," she said, and Kakashi closed his eyes as he remembered the photos of that dismal camp. He didn't want to imagine Suyo chained to one of those horrible little cots, waiting in dread for the mass of strangers to arrive, but the image seared his mind and refused to go. "I thought Orochimaru might be visiting again... he did, sometimes, to check their progress... but this group was even bigger than his. And I... I didn't warn anyone. I never did. I didn't warn _anyone!"_

He smelled salt in the air now, the brine of her tears, and held her tighter. He understood why Suyo had stayed silent and would never judge her harshly for it. By the time Tsunade had sent those ANBU squads out, Suyo had endured almost two full years of torture, had been mutilated in body and tormented in mind. She'd seen her family murdered and any hope of escape or rescue died soon after. The only choice open to anyone in that kind of situation was to either give up entirely and embrace death, or do whatever it took to survive. Suyo had chosen survival, and that meant putting herself before everyone else. It was rational, instinctive, completely excusable, and Kakashi knew the decisions she'd made would haunt her forever no matter what he said or did.

It took her several moments before she went on. "It was dark when ANBU attacked… we didn't understand what was going on at first. I was so crazy by then I couldn't tell if they were wearing masks or if they really were part animal, another experiment. I thought maybe they were replacements for our current guards until they started... started killing them." She was shivering again now–more than shivering, she was shuddering so hard he felt like his embrace was all that was holding her together. "It was like Junyato all over again, but this time none of us could run away, we were all chained... one of our guards came and unlocked our shackles, and we thought we were going to be set free, but they... they threw us in the middle of the it. We were a distraction. No one cared if they killed us or each other."

Kakashi kissed the top of her head, wishing he could drive the memories from her mind. She felt so delicate in his arms as she relived that horrible battle. "I saw the woman who delivered my son get cut in two right in front of me," she whispered harshly. The scent of her tears intensified. "Benjiro took a knife in his eye. Izanami was set on fire… it took her so long to die…"

She was silent for a long time after that, and he didn't press her to go on. Selfishly, he hoped that she wouldn't. Knowing she'd been in the middle of such a brutal fight hurt Kakashi more than any wound he'd ever endured. The first time he'd kissed her, he'd thought that Suyo's gentleness was something precious that should be protected. It killed him that he hadn't been able to do that for her.

She cleared her throat and managed to pull herself together enough to keep speaking. "I had always told myself that I would fight them if I ever got the chance," she said hoarsely, and now the words came fast, as if they were poison she couldn't spit out fast enough. "I didn't care if I died if I could just hurt them back, hurt them for what they did to Tadao and Ichirou… and I tried, I really did, but I could barely move by then. We were all sick, all weak. I managed to trip one of our guards, though. I tried to strangle him with the chain from my shackle but they'd… done things, to my muscles… during the experiments… I wasn't strong enough to hold him. He got away from me and stabbed me. His sword went all the way through me and into the ground–it got caught so he couldn't pull it back out no matter how hard he tried. He finally said I'd be dead soon enough anyway and left me there."

Suyo took one of Kakashi's hands and guided it beneath her shirt, leading his fingers to a deep, jagged scar at the edge of her right ribcage. He'd found that scar when they'd made love and knew there was a matching one on her back. She left his hand there as she spoke again, still in that harsh, pained voice. "I managed to pull the sword out. I had some crazy idea that I could use it. But after I got it out, whatever strength I had was gone. I couldn't do anything with it." She sounded so disappointed in herself and he hated that, because no civilian could have done anything more than what she had. Most couldn't have even forced themselves to endure the agony of pulling the katana out. She should be proud of her efforts, not ashamed.

Biting back the urge to say something comforting was tearing Kakashi apart. Hearing the dry facts of that battle from Tsunade had been awful enough. Hearing about it from Suyo, touching just one of her uncounted scars and learning its story, was unimaginably worse. He couldn't erase the mental image of her impaled helplessly on the ground like a bug, struggling to free herself as ANBU and Sound nin fought their vicious battle around her. He could just feel the notch in her bottom rib where the katana had jammed on bone. He caressed her scar gently, aching for her, knowing from experience just how bad that hurt.

No one should have to go through what she had. _No one._

Kakashi rocked her as her tears soaked through his shirt. Every cell burned for revenge as he wished again that he could get his hands on those bastards and make them suffer the torments of hell for their crimes.

"When it was over, half of us were wounded and the rest were dead," she went on after another long pause. Despite the dampness on his skin, her voice was still remarkably steady. "And there weren't many of us left by then... every single person I'd ever known was in that camp with me. And the ANBU killed so many of them after the battle was done." She stifled a sob and he was so tempted to urge her to let it out, not to repress it, because he knew the damage burying that kind of pain could do, but he respected her wish and stayed silent. "What they did to us... it was worse than Junyato... it was worse than any experiment or torture or... those bastards gave us hope, Kakashi. ANBU said they had come on a rescue mission, they told us we would go free, could go home, but _then they butchered everyone!"_

Suyo finally lifted her head, and her tear-bright eyes blazed with such fury, such vicious loathing, that Kakashi almost recoiled away from her. "I hate ANBU for that," she hissed as tears rolled down her face. "I will never forgive them, Kakashi. Never!"

And that was the last straw. He couldn't be silent anymore. "I'm so sorry," he murmured, pulling his mask away to rain kisses all over her face. Tsunade had told him ANBU had only put those who could not be saved out of their misery, but Kakashi knew how horrible it would've been for her to watch the last remnants of her old life die. One man's mercy killing was another's brutal, heartless murder. She had every right to her hatred. "I'm sorry, Suyo, I'm so damn sorry..."

To his great relief, she didn't pull away from him. Suyo pressed her forehead to his shoulder and he kissed her hands instead, her palms, every finger. "Tell me you weren't there," she whispered, her voice now desperate. "Tell me you're not ANBU. Please, Kakashi, I couldn't stand it if you were one of them. Tell me the tattoo is something else. I don't care if it's a lie. Just tell me you weren't one of the ANBU who were in the camp that night and make me believe it. Please."

His heart was breaking for her, but at least now she'd asked him for something he could give her. "I didn't go on that mission, Suyo. I wasn't there," he said, so grateful that it was the truth. "But I'm not going to lie to you. I've been retired for a long time, since before I became Naruto's jounin-sensei, well before those units were sent to the Sound camp where you were held, but I _was_ in ANBU."

Her breath came out on a sob that cut him like a blade. "Why?" she cried, pounding a fist on his chest. "Damn you, Kakashi, _why?"_

Kakashi didn't misunderstand the question. He disregarded his instinctive desire to avoid answering. His past was something he never spoke of, but he wanted to return her remarkable gift of trust–genuinely _wanted_ to do it. He cupped her face in his hands and raised her head so she could meet his gaze, praying he was doing the right thing by being honest now. He might not be any kind of expert on relationships, but even he knew that they had to be based in truth. He just had to hope he could make her understand.

He lifted her fist and kissed her knuckles. "I joined when I was thirteen, right after Konoha was decimated by the Demon Fox attack. I did it because I'd lost everyone I'd ever cared about–my parents, my team, my sensei, my friends–I had nothing left but the village. I didn't want anyone else to lose as much as I had," he said against her skin. "ANBU is the village's last and best line of defense, and I joined them because it was the best way I knew to protect Konoha as we tried to rebuild it. I did it because I've always been a weapon and I wanted to make every other nation too frightened of us to attack Konoha while we were so vulnerable." He struggled for a moment, then finally sighed. "I did it because shinobi have to do a lot of terrible things, and I thought that if I did the worst of them, no one else would have to. They would be spared."

She cried on his shoulder for what felt like forever. Every tear broke his heart. "I'm sorry, Suyo," he whispered, wishing he could have saved her this suffering, but still unable to regret the eight years he'd spent as the Hound. They had been awful years filled with horrible acts, but he hadn't lied just now. He truly believed that he'd saved more lives than he'd taken. He _had_ to believe that. "I'm sorrier than I can ever tell you for what ANBU did to you. What happened on that mission… I joined ANBU to _prevent_ the kind of thing that happened to you. But if I was given that choice again, I would have done the same thing, because Konoha was all I had. I had to protect it, even if it meant doing terrible things. _I_ _had to_, Suyo."

Her silence, her tension in his embrace, stabbed him with terror. He was losing her–he could feel it. "I'm not ANBU anymore," he said, praying that just this once, he could find the right words to save what they'd started to build. "I retired years ago and I'll never go on another ANBU mission. Now I have other things to live for–Naruto, Sai, and Sakura … actual friends, like Maito Gai… and most of all, you." Her hands clutched him a little tighter, but she still didn't speak. "Suyo," he whispered, kissing her hair, more frightened in his moment than he had ever been on any life-and-death mission. "Suyo, please… please don't hate me."

Her sobs took forever to slow. Kakashi rocked her in his arms, eyes closed, hoping this wouldn't be the last chance he ever had to hold her. Finally, Suyo raised her head and silently met his gaze. She stared at him for what felt like forever, stared hard, and he didn't look away.

"If you'd been there," she whispered, piercing him with that gaze, "would you have killed my friends, too? Would anything have been different, Kakashi?"

"I would've done everything in my power to save every last one of them." His answer was instinctive, immediate. He hoped it was enough because if he hadn't been able to save them, he would have done no differently than the ANBU she so hated–he would indeed have given the injured a painless death. It might seem cold, but he'd seen enough death to know that leaving the mortally wounded to suffer was no mercy.

"Would you have fought your own comrades to save them?" she pressed, those green eyes burning into his. "Or would you have just carried out your orders? Even if it meant murdering helpless people?"

Kakashi sighed, aching at the pain in her voice, pain echoed in his own heart. He could spin her a pretty lie, but after he'd promised to tell her the truth, that would be nothing less than betrayal. It would make him even more unworthy of her than he already was.

So he told her the truth once more, well aware that he was digging himself into a pit he might not ever be able to climb out of. "I might be a killer, but I've never been a murderer," he whispered, wondering if he could make her see the distinction. It was a fine one, but that was a line he would not cross. It was a line that kept him on the side of sanity, of goodness–he'd danced on the edge of it, but he had never once crossed it, even in his worst, coldest years in ANBU. "Everything I have ever done was to save the lives of those I have sworn to protect. Every person I have ever killed has threatened Konoha." He caressed her cheek, wiping the moisture away. "I wouldn't have gone on the missions if I didn't truly believe that."

He thanked whatever gods were watching that he'd never been asked to. Would he have really been able to say no if Kakashi had been assigned to kidnap or kill a child? Could he have turned away from Sandaime if he'd been assigned to assassinate someone who hadn't threatened the village? To snuff out an innocent life for no reason but money? Those missions existed, it would be naive to think otherwise, and they were the kind of missions that would only be given to ANBU… Kakashi was just lucky he hadn't been given them.

Perhaps Minato had finally reached Sandaime in the end, after all. Perhaps he and Jiraiya had interceded to keep Sarutobi-sama from destroying the last bit of humanity Kakashi had left. He would never know for sure… but he was damn grateful. "With every skill I possess," he whispered fiercely, "with the last breath in my body, I will protect you, Suyo. I'll give my life for you. Just please, I beg you, don't hate me for the things I did all those years ago. Forgive me for having this mark on my shoulder. Please."

Suyo didn't ask any more questions. Finally she closed her eyes and nodded, a single tear running down each silver-streaked cheek, and the knot in his chest that had been his constant companion since that moment in her kitchen finally loosened. "I… I think I can live with that," she breathed, and Kakashi had to honestly struggle not to pass out from the rush of relief that swamped him at those simple words.

Never had he received such a gift as her forgiveness. "Thank you," he whispered as he bent to kiss her softly–a kiss of comfort rather than passion. A kiss to convince himself he hadn't dreamed this. Her lips were warm against his, soft, sweet, and blessedly real. The sun had fully set and the moon had risen while Suyo had told her story and cried herself out in his arms, but he didn't want to take her back to her apartment. He'd missed her too damn badly and he knew how close he'd come to losing her just now. He couldn't let her go yet. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked against her lips, praying she would say yes.

She only hesitated for a moment before nodding again. Her arms went around his shoulders and he kissed her one more time because he couldn't stand not to. He stood with her and carried her to his barren, almost spartan bedroom, only setting her down long enough to pull the blankets back and ease her shoes off before lifting her into his bed. He slid in beside her and pulled her close, drawing her to his chest and closing his eyes with relief when her arms went around him in return. Suyo's tense body slowly relaxed in his embrace.

Although it was late, neither of them slept. Kakashi could tell she was still awake by the rhythm of her breaths. "You're wrong, you know," Suyo suddenly whispered, surprising him even though he'd known she wasn't asleep. She hadn't made a sound since his confession. "I don't believe that you were ever just a weapon."

The absolute surety in her voice when she made that statement almost brought tears to his own eyes. "I wish you were right, but it's what I was raised to be," he sighed, remembering his earliest memories, when his father had been larger than life and still perfect in his childish eyes. His very first memory was training with White Fang before dawn, the way the kunai felt so huge and unwieldy in his little hands–long before it'd become an extension of his body. "Fire Country was at war when I was born, and we were losing badly. Konoha needed shinobi, even children, and I… well, my father was a genius, truly a legendary jounin, and I seemed to have inherited his skill, so he pushed me hard. I excelled, so he pushed me harder, and… I wanted him to be proud, so I became what they needed me to be." He shrugged with a casualness he didn't feel. "I was a graduate genin at five, made chuunin by six, and by the time I was Naruto's age, I'd been an elite jounin for over three years."

"They shouldn't have done that to you," she whispered, and oddly, he was glad that the list of his accomplishments didn't awe her as it did everyone else. "You were just a child."

He closed his eyes briefly as he remembered Minato's fury at what they'd done to Kakashi so long ago. "It wasn't until my father died and my jounin-sensei became my guardian that I learned how to be something besides the perfect shinobi," he said, almost feeling his sensei's fierce hug all over again. "Minato-sensei and my teammate Obito were the ones who taught me I didn't always have to be that weapon, no matter how good I was at it."

Suyo lifted her head, bracing her crossed arms on his chest to look down at him. She touched his face, skimming her fingertips over his nose, lips, cheeks, the scar through his eyelid. "I don't ever see a weapon when I look at you, Kashi."

That pet-name took the breath from his lungs. Until now, he hadn't realized how much he'd been waiting to hear her say it again, how convinced he'd been that she never would. "What do you see?" he whispered, unable to keep the near-desperation from his face as he waited for her answer with his heart in his throat. Her eyes were sharper than his Sharingan, penetrated more deeply than the Byakugan. Much as he ached to hear it, Kakashi couldn't fight down a shiver of fear as he waited for her answer.

Because he knew to his bones that whatever she saw would be the truth.


	15. Eye of the Beholder

**A/N: Love the reviews! Love them, love you all for leaving them! _*mwah*_ Thank you, everyone, for saying such kind things about this fic. Yes, eventually I'll stop tormenting Kakashi and Suyo and let them be happy and carefree and… and… okay, so I probably won't do that, because I'm not sure I actually have a clue how to write happy and carefree. But I do know how to write sex. Let's let them do that instead, what say you?**

**Typical disclaimery-type thingies still fully apply. Now let's get nekkid. (Well, YOU don't have to. And if you do, please don't tell me about it. Really, people, that'd be too much information in a BIG way.)**

Suyo searched his gaze with those green eyes, now bloodshot from all her tears, yet still so very beautiful to him. "What do I see? I see a good man who's been alone too long," she said slowly, clearly considering every word, and Kakashi could hardly believe what he was hearing. After what he'd just admitted to her, all the terrible things he'd done in his life, even _knowing_ he was ex-ANBU, she truly thought he was a good man? _How?_

But she wasn't done. "I see a generous man who's given too much and hasn't received enough in return–a man whose generosity was taken advantage of, who should have had someone to protect him. I see someone who grew strong and honorable despite that… a man who's insightful and caring… and surprisingly sweet when you want to be."

He started to shake his head. He didn't know who Suyo was talking about, but that wasn't him. Apart from _strong,_ none of these things were descriptors he would ever have imagined anyone applying to him. She cupped his cheek in one hand, stopping his silent negation. "I see the man I love."

Kakashi froze in complete and utter shock as he stared up at her. _The man she–_ It took him a moment to remember to draw a breath. When he did, it seemed to go straight to his head, making him dizzy. "Say that again," he said hoarsely. He had to hear it again. Had to make sure his ears weren't playing tricks on him and fooling him into hearing those words he'd never thought anyone would say to him.

Suyo raised her other hand to frame his face between her palms and gazed down into his single eye with simple conviction. "I love you, Hatake Kakashi," she repeated, her voice stronger this time. Absolutely sure. "And I couldn't love you if you weren't everything I see."

Kakashi rolled her beneath him and kissed her, wanting to taste that amazing declaration on her lips. _She loved him!_ His heart felt like it was going to leap right out of his chest with the abuse he'd put it through today–surely no mere organ could withstand all the emotions he'd felt in such a short time. Anxiety, rage, terror, shame, relief, now such unbelievable elation as he realized that she truly believed he was every positive thing she'd just said. More than that, that she wanted him, valued him–that she actually _loved him_ and it was _real_, not a lie he told himself so he could try to feel human for a while… Kakashi tried to engrave every detail of this moment in his mind, knowing he would treasure the memory.

He was trembling with the force of his emotions when he finally pulled away and tried to say it back to her. He wanted nothing more than to give her the same joy he now felt. "Suyo… Suyo, I…"

But before he could finish such a simple sentence, a paralyzing rush of fear stole his voice. He struggled, but no matter how hard he fought, the words just wouldn't come out. Kakashi simply couldn't do it. Couldn't bring himself to tempt fate by declaring such a weakness aloud so all the gods and devils could hear and know exactly where to strike such a crippling wound. Couldn't even make himself think the word because he knew it would kill him to lose her.

But he kept trying because he desperately _wanted_ to say it–after her unbelievable forgiveness, her openness, the way she'd shared her pain with him, Suyo deserved to hear it. And the tightness constricting his chest was enough evidence that he truly felt it. Kakashi clenched his fists, trying to force air through a throat suddenly far too tight for speech. "I–"

She placed her fingers over his lips. "Shh," she whispered. "It's all right, Kashi. I know."

Kakashi rested his forehead against hers, torn between relief at being let off the hook and crushing shame that he couldn't do what she'd done so easily–couldn't find the strength to say the words to express how he felt for her. One day he would, he vowed silently. Somehow, he would find a way to say it so she wouldn't have to guess.

But for now… for now, he would have to do his best to show her how he felt.

Suyo's lips parted beneath his as Kakashi kissed her slowly, softly, putting his full heart into each second of it. This pace wasn't something he was used to–wild passion was his strength, heat and fire and desperation–but that was exactly why he'd chosen to slow down. He didn't want to take her the way they'd made love when he'd returned from his mission this time. While he knew that she'd loved every instant of it as much as he had, that was kind of sex he'd had every time he'd gone to one of those bars and picked up someone, anyone, to take the edge off.

Which was why Kakashi refused to do that now. She deserved so much more than that from him. He wanted to be gentle with Suyo, to show her that he could be tender. That he wasn't just an animal desperate to rut.

That maybe, just maybe, he really could be everything she saw in him.

Her tongue met his and he stroked it, teasing her with every gentle lick, every slow thrust and withdraw from the heat of her mouth. Her fingertips feathered caresses over his face as he retreated, then returned for more. Eyes closed to savor each sensation, he kept every kiss just as soft, just as thorough. He pulled the tie from the end of her braid and unwove her silken hair, slowly threading his fingers through the newly freed tresses. Although his heart was soon pounding and he felt her breathing quicken to match his, he didn't increase his deliberate pace, not even when her hands slid up and tangled in his silver hair to urge him on.

"Kashi," she murmured huskily against his lips, and the breathy sound of her nearly moaning that pet-name aroused him almost to the point of madness. He kissed her again before she could say anything else in that sexy-as-hell voice because he had no defenses against it. God help him if she ever realized the power she held over him, because whatever she asked of him in that voice, he would give her–period.

And he wanted to do this his way.

Many long, delicious minutes passed as he kissed her again and again, taking his time and worshiping every part of her mouth, memorizing the flavor of her, the texture of her lips. Suyo wasn't making it easy on him, though. Denied the ability to ask for more, she arched beneath him and caressed his entire body with her own. Kakashi growled with pleasure and kissed her a bit harder, a little deeper, and that was all the encouragement she needed to do it again. This time she ended by sliding one leg up along his thigh and hooking it around his waist.

Heat shot down his spine. "Ahh, God, Suyo," he groaned, tearing his mouth from hers and nuzzling her ear. He couldn't resist pressing his hips against hers, nestling his hardness into the perfect vee of her legs. "You make me want so damn much."

"You can have whatever you want," she whispered back, and Kakashi had to close his eyes for a moment just to hold onto his runaway pulse rate.

Needing more than just kisses now, Kakashi drew her earlobe into his mouth and nipped before soothing the sting with his tongue. Suyo made that sound that drove him so crazy–that purring, throaty moan–and he pressed a line of open-mouthed kisses down the line of her pulse, thrilling at the way it sped beneath his lips. One hand still tangled in her hair, he grasped her hip with the other, pressing her closer to him. Her hands were moving now, too, finding the hem of his sleeveless shirt and wasting no time in slipping beneath it. Her fingers dug into his muscles as he dipped his tongue into the indentation at the base of her throat.

Suyo abruptly wrenched away from him, shoving at his shoulders. His heart froze with sudden fear–had she changed her mind and decided she couldn't forgive him after all?–but instead of leaving him, she pulled her tunic over her head and threw it aside. Her turtleneck soon followed and then she was pulling him back, her bra and his tight top the only barriers between their skin. Kakashi quickly disposed of both and lowered his chest to hers. The sensation of her breasts, so soft and yielding against his muscled chest, sent a wave of fire through his entire body.

He just had to feel them in his palms.

"Oh, yes, _Kashi_," she moaned again, and now he really was fighting for control because her hands were everywhere, sliding over his back, slipping around to trace his pecs, and her increasingly passionate moans and sighs were making him utterly crazy, and he kissed her desperately because he could no longer stand _not_ to.

Tearing his mouth from hers, Kakashi slid down her body–leaving kisses and little love bites in his wake–until he could run his tongue down the valley between her breasts. Suyo trembled beneath him as he cupped her breasts in his hands. Raising his head slightly to gaze up at her face, he lightly pinched her nipples. The way her mouth dropped open on a gasp, the high color in her cheeks, those green eyes hazy with passion… "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

For a moment, Suyo's breath froze, but not with arousal. Then she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Please don't lie to me."

"I would never lie to you." Kakashi kissed the swelling curve of her left breast, right over a large patch of withered skin that looked like an acid burn. Then he shifted and kissed each of three deep slashes above her right breast. "How could you think these would make you any less desirable to me?" he whispered, continuing to kiss each and every scar marring her soft skin as he moved down her body. He paid special attention to the katana wound beneath her ribs. "These are nothing to be ashamed of. They show me that you are a strong woman, a brave survivor. You are _beautiful_, Suyo, and no amount of scars will ever change that."

She trembled again, but this time he knew it wasn't from passion. He lifted himself and kissed her as her tears scented the air with the smell of the sea, just held her tight and kissed her over and over until her tears stopped. Then he kissed every last one of them from her cheeks.

She moved so abruptly that Kakashi was taken off-guard. An instant later, he was on his back with Suyo straddling his waist. The sight of her perched over him in the darkness, her long hair falling over her bare shoulders in a black curtain, stole the breath from his lungs. It was the first time she'd ever knowingly bared her scars to him, and he trailed his hands down her body as he admired her with his gaze. "God, so beautiful," he whispered again, and this time she responded with a hesitant smile.

He leaned up just as she bent and their mouths met in a hot and hungry kiss. Her hands slid down his chest, over the ridged muscles of his tense stomach to the button of his pants… and as she unfastened them, one palm continued downward to boldly caress his erection right through the material.

Kakashi's shout of shocked pleasure was muffled against her mouth. All his plans to keep this slow and sweet evaporated in a rush of almost primal lust. Pushing his hips upward, he quickly flipped Suyo beneath him once more. He lost no time in stripping the remaining clothes from her body as he licked and tormented her nipples. Her cries of pleasure were music to his ears and he redoubled his efforts, wanting more and more.

In a remarkable display of flexibility, Suyo hooked her toes in the fabric of his waistband and shoved his pants down his hips and legs. He laughed against her skin at her creativity in undressing him, but he didn't pull away from his task. He kicked his pants away as he continued kissing his way down her body. He hadn't gotten to taste her last time, but this time nothing would keep him from this goal. The craving had taken over his entire mind.

Now he _would_ have it.

Suyo was trembling hard beneath him as his breath teased the dark curls that guarded his goal. He nibbled at her hip as his hands slipped between her knees, and her thighs parted like water. He paused only to lick a little nonsense design on her inner thigh–she moaned his name again and he nipped her skin in reward–before shouldering her thighs further apart and claiming the prize he wanted so damn badly.

This was something he'd never done before–had never _wanted_ to do before. It was too intimate, too giving, too much for his lover instead of himself. Before Suyo, Kakashi had never given much of a damn about his lover's pleasure so long as he got off. But right now, there was nothing in the world he wanted more than to bring Suyo to her peak, to make her come and know that he was the only one in her mind. The erotic thought obsessed him.

He tackled his task with single-minded dedication.

Suyo cried out and arched off the bed at the first sweep of his tongue over her most sensitive flesh. The taste of her exploded in his mouth and Kakashi growled with pleasure, going back for more. He parted her with his thumbs and suckled her in earnest. Every gasp and moan, every breathless cry urged him on. Her heels dug into his back when he thrust his tongue deep inside her. The slick heat surrounding his tongue stole his breath. Desperate to get inside her, aching to keep her just like this, dying to hear more of those gorgeous sounds, Kakashi feasted on her and savored every second of it. Too soon she came against his mouth, crying out his name over and over. He thrust two fingers inside her at the height of her peak, wringing every last ounce of pleasure from her.

"God, yes," he growled when it was finally over, so hard he hurt as he crawled up her body like a predator on the hunt. Despite his own painful arousal, he could have done that all day just to hear her coming with his name on her lips. Bringing her such ecstasy was more satisfying than any orgasm he'd ever had. "You sound so damn good when you come for me, Suyo, and you taste even better."

"Kashi," she whispered, still breathless, and he wondered if hearing her call him that in that erotic tone would ever lose its potent thrill. She caught his face in her hands as he moved up her body, pulled him to her and kissed him hard, not seeming to mind the taste of herself on his lips. Kakashi thought he had never imagined anything as effortlessly sexy as this woman. When she wrapped her legs around his hips, he didn't hesitate to surge forward and sink inside her all the way to the hilt.

He was too hot, too desperate to hold back, but Suyo didn't seem to want him to. Her hips rose and met his with each thrust. She caressed him all over as he rode her hard, his back, his shoulders, his arms and chest, urging him on with those moans and cries that drove him so crazy. He was close to his own peak when Suyo arched hard beneath him and her body tightened around his cock, caressing him right to oblivion with her as she cried, "Oh my God, _Kashi!_" and came once more. All he could do was hold on tight as ecstasy burst through every nerve and wiped his mind clean of everything but the amazing woman in his arms.

And when his orgasm finally passed and left him weak, still buried inside her and holding his full weight off her with shaking arms, Suyo showered kisses over every part of him she could reach, soft lips raining sweetness over his face and throat and shoulders.

Kakashi finally fell onto his side beside her and pulled her close to claim those incredible lips with his own. The kiss was shorter than he would've liked–he still hadn't caught his breath yet; the pleasure she gave him made a mockery of his great strength, left him breathless and trembling–but he tried to put everything he felt into it.

When he pulled away, Suyo caressed his face with her fingertips. "I missed you," she whispered as she traced the contours of his features as through to memorize him by touch.

"Not half as much as I missed you," he said, and just the reminder of the endless days he'd spent sure that he would never hold her again sent a shudder down his spine. He pulled her close and kissed her again. He never wanted to spend so long without her again, never wanted to fall asleep without her body cradled close to his, never, ever wanted to endure another instant of thinking he'd lost her… and he cursed himself for not being able to say those things to her. Instead, he held her tighter, letting his body communicate for him as she slowly relaxed and finally fell asleep against his chest.

But it was a long time before he could relax enough to even think of falling asleep. He kept thinking of that bitter hate in her eyes when she'd spoken of ANBU, and the contrasting softness of her gaze when she'd told him she loved him. How could she forgive him for being part of the organization that had hurt her so badly? Only one person he'd ever met had been able to forgive like that… only Naruto. How the hell did they do it? How did they release such pain so easily?

He might never understand it, but he was grateful to the depths of his soul for it.

His Sharingan suddenly stung beneath its closed lid, and with it, Obito's face filled his mind.

_I'm already… going to die. But… I can become your eye… and together we will see the future…_

He didn't know why Obito's last words came back to him at that moment. The painful memory wasn't one he revisited often. But for some reason, as Kakashi lay here with Suyo cradled in his arms, he could almost feel Obito's presence inside him. Without letting himself analyze the action, he opened his Sharingan eye and looked down at Suyo. The chakra drain was instant but he ignored it. She looked beautiful through the Sharingan. The gentle blue tracery of her chakra blurred the scars, softened their jagged edges, accented her body's naturally graceful lines… it was a beautiful glittering lace over her soft, scarred skin.

_Do you see her, Obito?_ Kakashi wondered, thinking again of the boy he'd failed, the friend he hadn't valued until it was too late, the teammate who'd sacrificed his life and his eye for Kakashi all those years ago and had done it with a smile he hadn't understood then and still didn't now. _I don't know if she's my future. I can only hope. But I think… no, I _know_ you'd have liked her. She's so much like Rin–soft and strong at the same time. You would've seen that. _He stroked her cheek, a ghost of a smile on his own lips now, imagining what Obito would have said if he could've met her. _I think you would've also told me that I don't deserve her. And God knows you'd be right about that. _

_But by some miracle, she loves me._

He desperately wanted to be worthy of that love, wanted to live up to the image she held of him. _Help me deserve her, Obito,_ he thought, staring down at the woman who was rapidly becoming the most important thing in his entire world. _I don't have a clue what I'm doing. Just please, for once in my life, help me not to destroy this._


	16. Visitors

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, everyone! I decided to be nice and not make you wait so long for the next update. You're welcome. ;P And I still don't own it, dammit.**

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The sunrise wasn't even a hint in the East when Kakashi awoke. Waking this early was, unfortunately, nothing new for Kakashi. His conscience rarely allowed him the peace of uninterrupted rest. Usually he would rise, dress, and go to the memorial stone to honor his dead when he woke this early, but not today.

Because today there was no disorientation when he awoke, no hint of confusion at the deep contentment and relieved happiness that filled his chest with such unfamiliar warmth. For the first time in Kakashi's life, he didn't wake up alone. Suyo still slept snuggled in his arms, her bare body utterly relaxed against his, one hand tucked beneath her cheek on his shoulder, her other arm wrapped loosely around his waist.

She hadn't sneaked away this time, hadn't covered her scars, and that utterly humbled him.

Kimura Suyo might not be a shinobi, but she protected her secrets and her vulnerabilities as zealously as any jounin Kakashi had ever known. Yet now this deeply private woman had willingly lowered all her defenses for him–letting him see all of her, and not just in a darkened bedroom in the heat of passion. She gave this to him now as the morning light was coming. He marveled at the rush of emotion that her show of trust triggered in him.

Fierce protectiveness… tenderness… joy… and above all else, the nearly crushing fear that he would screw everything up and lose this miracle. He knew too well that he didn't deserve such a powerful gift as her trust, especially since he knew how rarely she gave it.

_I see a good man… a generous man… insightful… honorable…_

God, how he wanted to believe he really was all those things she saw! She deserved to be with that incredible man she described, deserved a man who could murmur romantic phrases in her ears and return her declaration of love. Deserved a kind and patient man who hadn't spent his entire life killing. He was far too rough and his life was much too harsh for her gentle spirit. What the hell was she doing with _him?_

_I love you, Hatake Kakashi… and I couldn't love you if you weren't everything I see._

Just the memory of those words sent a thrill through his entire body. Kakashi threaded his fingers through her hair, raised a handful to his face and inhaled deeply as he marveled at this twist of fate he had never seen coming. Who could have imagined such a thing would ever happen to Sharingan no Kakashi? Who would've thought any woman would ever be crazy enough to fall in love with him, a man widely feared as one of the most cold-blooded killers of his generation?

But Kakashi didn't feel cold or rough or harsh when Suyo looked at him. When she touched him, he didn't feel the stains of the thousand brutal missions he'd carried out without question or cringe beneath the crushing weight of all the lives he'd ended. When she kissed him and held him close to her scarred and damaged body, somehow she made him feel _clean_. Like he was so much more than a weapon.

Like he was a man who could actually deserve her.

And Kakashi knew that worthy of her or not, he would _never_ let her go.

So he ignored the familiar compulsion to dress and go to the memorial stone and stayed to savor this new feeling of snuggling with Suyo instead, stroking her soft hair and watching her sleeping so peacefully with her head pillowed on his chest. For the first time in his life, he decided that his dead could wait–and honestly, he knew that Minato and Obito would have been ridiculously thrilled if they could've seen him now. In fact, his teammates would probably find some way to kick his ass from beyond the grave if Kakashi left Suyo alone to go stand in front of that stone, he thought with a little smile. He _would_ make time to visit them today, Kakashi promised his conscience silently. He wanted to tell his sensei and teammates all about this crazy thing that had happened to him. But right now… right now, soaking up every instant of holding Suyo was the most important thing he could imagine.

The sun had just risen and golden light poured through his open bedroom window when a loud knock at his front door made Suyo stir sleepily against him. He frowned–yes, he'd been watching her sleep for at least two hours, but he wasn't tired of it yet and he deeply resented the interruption–but then sighed in resignation when the insistent knock sounded again. Whoever it was apparently wasn't going away any time soon.

And he it wasn't like he hadn't been expecting this.

Kakashi sighed and gently disentangled himself from Suyo before tucking his blanket carefully around her, just in case his visitor somehow managed to peek into the bedroom. She'd trusted him with her scars–now he would guard them as fervently as he guarded his own secrets. He grabbed a fresh top and a pair of boxers from his top drawer and pulled them on as he left his bedroom to answer the door before the pounding woke Suyo.

He took a moment to adjust the mask over his face before answering the door. "It's a little early, Naruto," he said before the door was even fully open.

True to his guess, the blond teenager scowled at him from the landing. "Iruka-sensei told me you saw Suyo yesterday," Naruto said without preamble. "I checked but she wasn't at her place–she's gotta be here with you, right? Is she okay?"

Kakashi nodded and, knowing it was inevitable, opened the door wider so the boy could come in. "Yes, she's here. She's still asleep, so keep your voice down," he said, closing the door behind him. "She's all right now. I'm sure she'll want to see you as soon as she wakes up."

The tension on the fox-whiskered face melted away into an expression of profound relief. "Thank God for that," Naruto sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and collapsed onto his sensei's couch. "This is the longest I've ever known one of her flashbacks to last. I was afraid something was bad wrong, especially when I couldn't get Kurenai-sensei to even talk to me about it. You're sure she's really okay?" he suddenly asked, sitting up and sending Kakashi a piercing look. "She's not just saying it to make us quit worrying?"

He nodded again. "Yes, I think she really is," he said, remembering how peaceful she'd looked in his arms_._ "We talked about it a little, and she seemed better afterward." Okay, so that was the understatement of the century, but no way in hell was Kakashi going to relate the details of that painful conversation. He didn't even want to think of how close he'd come to losing her forever. He walked to his little kitchen and dug out the one thing he always kept stocked in his little-used kitchen–coffee. Right now he needed a cup like _damn_.

The teen sighed with relief. "Good work, sensei. It's about time she opened up. She never talks to anyone about them." Naruto flopped back on the couch again. "Did she say what started it?"

Kakashi had been expecting this so he was prepared not to react. He was careful not to let his muscles tense, not to betray any hesitation or stiffness at the question. The blond might've been loud and brash, but Naruto could also be stunningly perceptive. The last thing Kakashi wanted was for Naruto to figure out that Suyo's flashback had been entirely his fault. "I thought it best not to ask," Kakashi said as he continued to measure ground coffee into the filter basket with steady hands. "Just in case it starts everything back up again."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Kakashi had to hide his own sigh of relief at the teen's quick acceptance of his suggestion. He was taken aback, however, when Naruto stood up. "Okay, well, when she wakes up, tell her I'm glad she's okay and I'll see her as soon as she's ready," he said, walking toward the door.

Kakashi couldn't keep the surprise from his voice. "You're leaving?"

Naruto shrugged with a little grin. "Well, yeah. She's in good hands here and I really don't wanna have to watch you two playing kissy-face first thing in the morning. It might kill my appetite for the rest of the day." Kakashi threw the measuring spoon at him, kunai-style, and Naruto caught it and flung it back in one smooth motion. "Just take good care of her, okay, sensei? I'll catch you two later."

"I will," Kakashi promised, meaning it. The teen's faith in him to care for Suyo touched him deeply. A moment later, Naruto was gone, and the apartment seemed much emptier without his energetic presence overfilling the small space.

The scent of brewing coffee slowly drifted from the kitchen as he locked his door behind Naruto, but now that his early-morning visitor was gone, Kakashi had no desire for it. His bed called to him with a siren song he had no urge to resist. He walked to the kitchen with every intention of shutting the coffee-maker off before rejoining Suyo–

–only to be interrupted by yet another insistent knock at his door.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he groaned. Seriously, this was just his luck. Every morning of his twenty-seven years, Kakashi had awoken alone and had been out of his empty apartment within twenty minutes of arising. Yet on the one day he actually _had_ company and wanted to stay home to enjoy it, suddenly every damn person on the planet decided to come pound on his door.

He felt the massive, enthusiastic wave of youthful chakra outside his door and groaned again. Only one person _that_ could be. "Go away, Gai," he called even though he wasn't sure Gai could hear him through the solid door and knowing that even if he did, there wasn't much hope the Green Beast would be put off that easily.

"Kashi? Who is it?"

Suyo's sleepy voice behind him sent his pulse thudding wildly. Kakashi turned and smiled at her, a friendly little eye-crinkle to compensate for his hidden mouth. "Good morning," he said, admiring her with a slow once-over. "You look delicious… can I have you for breakfast?"

She laughed and plucked self-consciously at her shirt–actually, _his_ shirt, the silver pinstriped button-down shirt he'd worn on their date. God, he fucking _loved_ the sight of her in his clothes. It was like a brand that marked her as _his._ Her legs were bare beneath the shirt and he couldn't tear his gaze from them as she crossed the room to slide her hands up his chest. "Liar," she murmured lightly. "This mask has to go, you know–you've got a gorgeous face and I want to see it."

He didn't resist as she tugged the cloth away. His hands found her hips and pulled her body flush against his. She smiled and traced his features with gentle fingertips. "Mmm, that's much better… no wonder you wear this mask all the time," she teased as she caressed his lower lip with her thumb. "You'd never get anything done for all the women chasing you around if you didn't."

Kakashi laughed at the mental image of trying to complete a dangerous S-ranked mission while a pack of screaming fangirls stalked him. "Maybe I only show the ones I want to chase me."

"Or maybe just the ones you know you can outrun," she shot back, green eyes twinkling with humor.

He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. "In case it's escaped your notice, I'm not running," he whispered, then leaned back in for a deeper, more satisfying kiss.

_WHAM, WHAM, WHAM!_

Kakashi groaned and rested his forehead against hers instead. "Gai really has a death wish," he growled as the older jounin actually rattled his doorknob in a rather spirited attempt to get inside. "He's not going to go away, I'm very sorry to say. Give me just a minute to get rid of him and then we'll continue this, all right?"

Suyo nodded, then kissed him quickly one more time before pulling his mask back over his face. "I'll hold you to that," she promised, then disappeared into his kitchen so she would be out of sight while he opened his door.

Gai's fist was raised to knock again when Kakashi yanked the door open and glared at him. "You have to have the worst timing of anyone I know," he growled, glaring in the face of his self-proclaimed rival's toothy grin. "Whatever you want can wait. Go away."

"Kakashi-san!" Gai cried, giving him an epic thumbs-up and ignoring his less than enthusiastic greeting. "It is such a Great Pleasure to see you on this Youthful Morning! I have come to–"

"Maa, love to hear more, but I don't care. Goodbye," Kakashi cut him off, starting to close the door in his beaming face.

"Ahh, my Eternal Rival, your Cool and Hip words have Dissuaded me many times!" Gai's foot wedged into the gap in the door, and Kakashi seriously thought about slamming it anyway before deciding it wouldn't be enough of a deterrent. Nothing as minor as a broken foot had a chance in hell of slowing Gai down. The man was a juggernaut. "But you will not Dismiss me so Easily today! My Friend, I am here to Make Sure that you are on the Path To Recovery from your Tragic Heartbreak!"

Kakashi ground his teeth. He could imagine Suyo listening only a few feet away, and he didn't want her to know just how bad off he'd been while she wasn't speaking to him. "This isn't a topic that is open for discussion, Gai," he said through gritted teeth.

Gai clasped both hands dramatically over his chest. "Kakashi-san, I understand your Reluctance to discuss such a Painful Subject. Love is both a Blessing and a Curse," he said sympathetically, his volume dropping almost into the normal range. "But I would not be a True Friend if I Abandoned you in your Time of Need!"

"Great, when I have a time of need, I'll call you." The Copy-Nin tried again to close the door, but now Gai had one hand around the frame as well as his booted foot in the way, and he knew the Hokage would frown on him crushing both appendages just to get the Beast to go away.

Too bad. It would certainly make him feel better.

"Kakashi, you will not Get Rid of me until you Unburden your Injured Heart!" Gai insisted, shoving the door and managing to scoot Kakashi back an inch–it really wasn't fair that the Beast was so much more muscular, Kakashi fumed as he tried to wrestle his door closed. "Your Youthful Spirit must not be Darkened by this Unspoken Pain! I will stay here All Day and All Night until you–"

"Um… excuse me? Gai-san, isn't it?"

Suyo's hesitant voice froze both men in place. Kakashi recovered first, spinning around to see Suyo step out of the kitchen. She had pulled his shirt as low over her thighs as it would go, and she held an apron in front of her legs to hide them–it worked, but it was an incomplete camouflage to be sure. Giving up on the door, he quickly crossed to his bathroom and reached inside to grab his robe.

He could hardly believe she would risk exposing the scars she so hated just to save Kakashi from an uncomfortable situation. "Here," he murmured, wrapping the long robe around her. Suyo slipped her arms into the sleeves with a grateful smile, and Kakashi was pleased to see that the terry cloth covered her nearly to the tops of her feet.

He cupped her cheek in one hand and murmured, "You didn't have to do that. I would've gotten rid of him."

"You know, he doesn't seem all that easy to get rid of," she whispered back with a little smile. "I thought you might be able to use some back-up."

The door clicked closed and Kakashi turned to see a very stunned-looking Gai standing in his living area. "I… I am deeply sorry, Kakashi-san," he said, staring at Suyo with shock in his black eyes–shock so complete, it took all the usual bluster from his voice. "I didn't think that… it didn't occur to me that you might not be alone."

"Yeah, I kind of got that," Kakashi replied without bothering to hide his irritation. "Now will you stop blathering on about my unspoken youthful heartache and _go away?"_

"Kakashi!" Suyo pinched his shoulder, rebuke in her voice. "Is that any way to treat your friend?"

He rubbed his skin and debated telling Suyo she was wrong in her description. In his opinion, no one who cock-blocked half as much as Gai did could ever be considered a _friend_. "It's a hell of a lot better than what I'd like to do to him," he grumbled, but when she shot him a quelling look, he subsided.

"Gai-san, please have a seat," Suyo said, smiling at the still-shocked jounin. "Do you take cream or sugar in your coffee?"

"Neither," he replied as though her offer had surprised him all over again. "But please, don't bother yourself on my account. I'll just take my leave now–"

But as Kakashi had discovered weeks ago, when Suyo had her mind set on something, it wasn't that easy to get away. She stepped away from Kakashi and none-too-gently steered Gai to the couch Naruto had so recently occupied. "Nonsense, it's no bother. Sit down. I've been wanting to meet you properly, and now is as good a time as any. Besides," she added as she gave the Beast a little push that sent him down onto the cushions, "I know you have questions for me, as Kakashi's friend. I'll just get us some coffee and you can ask them."

Kakashi could hardly believe his ears. It hadn't occurred to him that Suyo would be as anxious to win his friends' blessing as he'd been to receive Naruto's, and honestly, Gai was probably the closest friend he had. He followed her into the kitchen. "You don't have to do this, you know," he said quietly, knowing Gai could hear every sound they made. He didn't care if the jounin heard this. "I really don't give a damn about his approval."

"Well, I do," Suyo replied, matching his soft tone. She turned and faced him, her green eyes shining and earnest. "He's important to you, Kashi, and that makes him important to me. I don't ever want to come between you and the people you care about. You took the time to make sure Naruto wouldn't be hurt for me–I am going to do the same thing for you."

Her determination to make a good impression on Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast sent a decidedly un-shinobi-like wave of tenderness through his chest. The hell with Gai sitting only a few feet away. Kakashi grabbed her around the waist with one hand and yanked his mask off with the other to kiss her soundly. Her squeak of surprise quickly turned into a sigh of pleasure, and that only spurred him on to kiss her again, this time a little deeper and a hell of a lot hotter.

God, he wanted her again. _Now. _Would he ever get enough of her? He slipped his hands inside the robe and nibbled at her throat, concentrating on the little indentation beneath her ear that he'd discovered she loved. "Sure you wouldn't rather I get rid of him?" he whispered against her skin as one hand found the hem of the silver shirt and slid slowly up her thigh. "Let me entertain you for the morning?"

Suyo purred against him and dragged her nails over his scalp–she'd discovered just how much he liked that. Shivers snaked over his skin. "Mmm, it's very tempting," she sighed, but to his great disappointment, she pulled away and gently replaced his mask. "But I want to do this. His opinion matters to me."

He sighed, both disappointed that she was choosing to talk with Gai and elated at her obvious desire for him. Suyo shooed him out of his own kitchen a moment later and he took the opportunity to duck into the bedroom and pull on his uniform shirt and pants–this little conversation was likely to be uncomfortable enough without him sitting there in his boxers. Then he came back into the living room and dropped his flack vest beside his favorite squashy armchair before sitting down.

Gai hadn't moved since Suyo had put him in his place… literally as well as figuratively. "I am Truly Sorry to have interrupted you again, Kakashi-san," he said, and although his voice was still much quieter than usual, he had recovered enough to give Kakashi a hint of his trademark gleaming grin.

"It really is becoming a bad habit of yours," Kakashi replied with a sigh. They both looked up as Suyo returned, and Kakashi frowned when he saw only two mugs of coffee on the tray in her hands. "Did you forget someone?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, because you're leaving."

Two pairs of eyebrows rose toward the sky, one silver, one black. "You're kicking me out of my own apartment?" he asked, both bemused and a little offended.

"Absolutely." But she softened the blow by smiling and pressing a kiss to the patch of exposed skin on his right temple. "It'll be all right, I promise. This way is best. You'll see," she whispered in his ear before pulling away.

And since Kakashi trusted her, he got to his feet. But because he knew exactly what Gai thought about this relationship, he also sent the Beast a vicious warning glare. _Don't even _think_ about fucking this up for me or there will be hell to pay,_ that glare said loud and clear. _Pain, suffering, humiliation, and quite probably disembowelment. Slow, methodical, agonizing disembowelment. With something dull. And filthy._

_I understand,_ Gai's solemn black eyes said in return.

When Kakashi opened his apartment door, he glanced back just once to see Suyo handing Gai his coffee before curling up in the chair he'd just vacated. "One hour," he said, and they both nodded at him–Suyo with a warm smile, and Gai with that abnormal seriousness. Kakashi started counting the seconds as soon as he closed his door behind him.

Looked like he was going to visit his dead this morning, after all… or maybe…

Kakashi reversed course and circled his building instead of going to the memorial stone… no doubt Minato would've approved of this, too. He took a moment to carefully mask his chakra–now that he knew how Suyo's talent for finding him worked, he was confident that he could hide from her, but Gai would be much trickier. He was an elite jounin who was truly a worthy rival of the Copy-Ninja, not that Kakashi would _ever_ admit that to him. But despite that, he had to try.

Glad he'd left his windows open to catch the summer breezes, Kakashi silently crept around and positioned himself beneath the living room windowsill and prepared to spy into his own home.


	17. Author Note with delighted squeeee!

**A/N: Hey, everyone! Sorry to get your hopes up, this isn't a new chapter (hopefully tomorrow, but don't shoot me if it's Monday). No, I just HAD to show everyone the amazing fanart of Kimura Suyo done by o0-Constance-0o! I'm impressed like HELL, people. Not only is she a great writer, but she's one hella talented artist, too! Check these links out, and give her some love in my comments section because she SO deserves it. (Don't forget to delete all the spaces in the address when you c/p it into your browser.)  
**

http:// i6. photobucket .com/albums /y230/iopele /Suyo_002 .jpg

http:// i6. photobucket .com/albums /y230/iopele /Suyoexpressions_001 .jpg

**SO AWESOME!!! **

**Stay tuned for the next chapter wherein our beloved Suyo and Gai have a heart-to-heart convo about our favorite slightly-dysfunctional Copy-Ninja. Have a terrific Saturday, everyone!**

**SlimReaper**


	18. Outside Looking In

**A/N: Thanks for your patience, everyone! I've been working like crazy here and just haven't had a second to write, so I'm sorry this chapter took longer than I thought it would to complete. I hope you like it! As always, mega thanks go out to o0-Constance-0o for beta-ing and brainstorming and being all-around awesome, and more thanks to everyone who took the time to review. I can't believe it's closing in on 100 reviews! Much love to all of y'all, I mean it! _*mwah*_**

.

Kakashi found that if he positioned himself carefully, he could see Suyo reflected in the windowpane. He watched her tuck her feet beneath her in his chair and sip her coffee. "So you're not happy about this," she said, and even knowing how direct she could be, even Kakashi was taken somewhat aback by her matter-of-fact pronouncement.

He heard the slide of spandex over cloth and pictured Gai shifting on the couch. "I wouldn't necessarily say that," he replied after a moment. As he had during that deeply uncomfortable discussion in the woods on their mission, Gai dropped his usual over-the-top manner and spoke in an uncharacteristically serious tone. _"Concerned_ might be a better word."

"Fair enough." Suyo sipped her coffee again. "I want you to speak honestly with me, please. You are important to Kakashi, and your good opinion matters greatly to me. Will you tell me what concerns you so much, Gai-san?"

Gai's coffee cup clinked as he put it down on the table, and Kakashi caught a glimpse of his clasped hands as he leaned forward. "You get right to the point, don't you?" he said, and Kakashi thought he sounded like he approved of that. "All right, then. I'm concerned because Kakashi-san is not the kind of man who dates casually... or at all. You don't know how out of character this is for him. It's true that my rival is a very powerful elite jounin, but beneath that, he is an emotionally vulnerable man, a man who could very easily be wounded deeply. You are a civilian, Suyo-san, and while I have no doubt that you are an admirable woman, your life is the polar opposite of his. You will never have a real understanding of what a jounin is, and without that understanding, without the common ground that shinobi share, I just don't see this working out."

Kakashi watched her nod as she listened to Gai's little speech. He'd never realized just how much Gai cared about him, and while he was still pissed off that the Green Beast was disregarding Kakashi's silent warning about meddling in his relationship with Suyo, he couldn't help but be touched by the depth of his friend's concern. "You raise several valid points," Suyo said, also putting her own coffee down. "But I have to disagree with you on one thing. I do know what a jounin is and I know exactly what they do. And because of that understanding, I never, _ever_ thought I would fall for a ninja."

He saw Gai's hands jerk in surprise. "You… you _didn't_ want a shinobi?" he asked, and Kakashi remembered his comment during that little conversation during their mission that Suyo was attracted to him just because of the allure of his jounin rank. Apparently Gai hadn't believed Kakashi's reassurance that it wasn't the case.

"Absolutely not." Suyo shrugged a little at his surprised tone and offered him a smile. "This whole thing... it honestly snuck up on me. I am a widow, Gai-san, and I never thought I'd feel this way again. Even if I had planned to date again, I definitely wasn't out hunting for a ninja boyfriend–in fact, when I first came to Konoha, I would've been happy to never see a hitai-ate ever again." She sighed and stared down at her cup. "But Naruto has taught me so much over the last year and a half. I've learned that the job isn't the same as the person who does it. Naruto is more precious to me than any words can express, and through him I've come to know Sai and Sakura, and Iruka-san, and Kurenai-san... and while I may hate what they do, they are very special to me as _people_. So when I met Kakashi several months ago, I was ready to see him as a man as well as a jounin."

"Huh." That single sound, combined with Gai sitting back against the couch, didn't provide much information to Kakashi. Damn, he wanted to see the look on the Beast's face, to know if Suyo was winning him over or not. "So what happened last week?" Gai finally asked after a long silence. "He tried to hide it but we could all tell that he was a wreck. When he saw you with Iruka-sensei at the market, he went a little crazy. Then you show up at the training grounds and vanish with him, and now everything's fine again?"

Suyo hesitated a moment before shaking her head. "There are some things I can't tell you," she said softly, sadness in her tone, and Kakashi knew she was thinking of all the classified things in her past. "Some things I can't explain. One of them is why discovering that Kakashi is ex-ANBU was so hard for me."

"You hurt him. Badly," Gai said bluntly. "So how about a hint?"

She ran both hands through her still unbound hair, ducking her head for a long time as though wrestling with her thoughts. "I don't like to talk about this," she whispered, hands fisting in the long tresses, but she seemed to have come to a decision. Slowly, without raising her head, she lowered her feet to the floor to bare the twisted scars those shackles had left on her ankles. Then she released her hair and pushed back the robe's sleeves to reveal the matching marks encircling both wrists. Kakashi heard Gai's sharp gasp.

"You say I'll never understand the life of a ninja, the things they have to do. You're wrong. I spent two years getting first-hand knowledge of _exactly_ what shinobi do," Suyo said so quietly that Kakashi had to strain to hear her. Despite her quiet tone, there was a world of pain and anger in her voice. "Konoha's ANBU was supposed to save us from them. They killed us instead. If it wasn't for Naruto, I'd be dead, too."

"Good Lord," Gai whispered. Suyo pulled her feet beneath her again before tugging her sleeves back down. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't know."

She nodded to acknowledge his apology and lifted her coffee again. It was a moment before she spoke over the rim, still not looking up at him. "If you're asked, please, act like you still don't know. I don't want Godaime-sama to be angry with me for telling you this–it's still classified, the whole ugly story. I told you because we both care about Kakashi and I want your approval, Gai-san."

"Does... does he know? About your past with ANBU?"

She nodded. "He knew some things before, but now he knows all of it," she said simply. "So in answer to your question, yes, I know that my reaction to seeing his ANBU tattoo hurt him, and I'm very sorry that I stayed away from him as long as I did. I was hurting, too. I had to work through a lot of hard things during that week I was... away... before I could come to terms with that mark on his arm."

"Being accepted into ANBU is a high honor," Gai told her, taking a drink from his own coffee, too. "It must've been hard for him to know how you see them."

Kakashi shook his head silently outside the window. _Hard_ didn't even cover it. His ANBU years had been a source of pride for him, and hearing Suyo say she would hate ANBU until her dying day had filled him with terror. The one thing he excelled at, the thing he did so well to protect the village, had almost cost him this woman who'd so stealthily wormed her way into his heart. His chest clenched anew at the memory of that fear.

She shifted in the chair. "It's something we had to talk about, and we did, and I think we've moved past it. I hope so, anyway."

Gai was silent for a while, but Suyo didn't press him. They drank their coffee in silence for a few minutes. Then he took a deep breath. "What are your intentions, Suyo-san?" he asked at last, still in the abnormally serious manner that was so at odds with his usual enthusiasm. "Can you really get over your experience with ANBU to be with him? It is part of who Kakashi is–a big part. He was an incredible asset to Konoha when he was there and he is justifiably proud of his service. Can you really accept everything about him?"

Suyo nodded without hesitation. "Yes, without a doubt. I love him. Kakashi is an amazing man, and when I'm with him he makes me feel..." She pressed a hand to her chest, smiling gently. "He makes me feel beautiful, Gai-san," she said softly. "And for a woman with as many scars as I have, that doesn't come around too often. My intention is simply to love him as much as I can, for as long as he'll let me."

Gai didn't reply at once. Suyo put down her empty cup with a little sigh. "What other objections do you have?" she asked.

Gai thought for a moment, but his hesitation didn't last as long this time. Finally he put his cup down and stood up. "I have none," he said, and Kakashi saw the trademark thumbs-up at the edge of the window's reflection. "None since you said that you love him. He needs it more than anyone I know, and I was wrong about you–I think you actually _can_ understand him. So give him what he Needs so Much, Suyo-san! Hold him Tight in your Tender Arms and be Strong for him! Give him every bit of your Youthful Affection and let your Springtime Romance blossom into a vibrant Tree Of Love!"

Suyo laughed as Kakashi rolled his eyes. Yes, Gai was back in fine form. "I'll certainly do my best," she said, also rising to her feet. "Thank you for giving me your blessing, Gai-san. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your trust."

It hadn't been an hour, but since the Green Beast was clearly preparing to leave, Kakashi left his perch and sprinted around the building to meet him as he left the apartment. "Well?" he said impatiently, landing beside Gai as he stepped through Kakashi's door. "Are you going to get the hell out of my business now or what?"

Gai didn't look the least bit surprised to see him, nor was he phased by the less than friendly greeting. "It was a True Honor to share such an Enlightening Conversation with your Beloved! She is an Amazing Woman, my Eternal Rival!" he said, grinning that sparkling grin and treating Kakashi to an epic pose complete with thumbs-up. "Alas, you have bested me Once Again by finding a Worthy Woman to love before I have Begun my own Journey Of the Heart, but I will not Allow this Defeat to dishearten me. I will find my own Youthful Flower to woo!"

The Copy-Ninja groaned. "Not everything is a contest, Gai."

"You shall not Dissuade Me from my Noble Quest to find True Love!" Gai persisted, his grin widening to alarming proportions. Kakashi squinted against the anticipated glitter off his perfect teeth. "Farewell, my Rival! Wish me Luck in my Adventure of the Heart!"

Kakashi groaned, glad that Gai leapt away without expecting a reply. Trust Gai to turn something like love into some kind of stupid race… but on the bright side, perhaps his _noble quest_ would keep the Green Beast too busy come up with any more pointless challenges for a while. He opened his door, determined to regain at least some of his planned Suyo-snuggling time, and smiled when he saw her curled up in his chair again. "Congratulations," he said, loving the sight of her there–like she belonged right here. "You've vanquished Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast. I can count the people who've managed that on the fingers of one hand."

She laughed as he walked over and went to his knees at her feet. "I didn't vanquish anyone. We just talked."

"You made him admit he was wrong," Kakashi contradicted her as he slipped a hand beneath each knee. When they parted, he slid smoothly between them. "Trust me, that's a defeat."

"That stubborn, is he?"

"Oh, only a little more so than I am."

Suyo laughed again. Then she leaned forward and tugged his mask away. "Well, it looks like Gai's defeat means we're finally alone, Kakashi-san," she murmured as she caressed his bared skin with gentle fingertips. "So what do you think we should do now, hmm?"

He smiled–the expression lit up his entire face this time, not just crinkling that one eye–and slid his hands up her thighs as they embraced either side of his body. "Seems like I'm in a very good position to answer that question," he said in a wicked purr, and proceeded to make a few nonverbal suggestions that Suyo seemed most in favor of indeed.


	19. Romance

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay in updating, everyone! I've got two nasty spider bites on my right hand and they're making typing a real pain, literally. The doc says they're "probably" not brown recluse bites, basing that off the fact that they usually bite once and not twice, but regardless what eight-legged beastie bit me, I am Not Happy about it. But I finally got this chapter finished and hopefully my hand will heal up soon so I can write the next one!**

**I still don't own Naruto, but if I did, there'd be a nude centerfold edition of Kakashi. **_***leer***_

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Suyo had to work that afternoon, so no matter how much he hated it, Kakashi had no choice but to let her go home. When she was gone, he stared at his rumpled bed for a moment before sliding between the sheets again–this genuine laziness was quite rare, but today he felt justified in basking in his good mood. Funny how quickly he'd gotten used to having her here, though. His bed, really too small for two people, still felt much too empty without her in it. How fast he'd adjusted to not being alone in his little flat. It seemed that the solitude he so often craved just wasn't comforting anymore–it felt cold instead of safe, lonely instead of quiet. He idly bit his thumb and made the series of seals that would summon Pakkun, just for the company.

Plus he wanted to pick the ninken's brain for a few ideas. Like any shinobi, Pakkun was a fiend for gossip and spying. Surely he'd have eavesdropped enough to give Kakashi a few ideas of what to do for a second date with Suyo because he was coming up empty.

The little pug poofed onto the foot of his bed and sniffed curiously. "Whaddya need, boss? … whoa, and why does this place reek of a woman? Because I know you don't bring women here."

Kakashi laced his fingers behind his head and smiled up at the ceiling. "Because I brought a woman here," he said, and fought not to laugh at the dog's exaggerated gasp of surprise. "She stayed the night."

If hearing he'd brought a woman home was enough to shock the dog, learning that she'd actually stayed here _all night_ was nearly enough to make the pug fall off the bed. "You… you… oh, my God, it finally happened," Pakkun gasped, collapsing onto the blankets. "You've finally lost what was left of your mind, haven't you?"

"In all likelihood, yes. But if this is insanity, I think I like it."

He felt little dog-feet walk up his body until Pakkun's furry face was an inch from his own. The ninja dog sniffed loudly. "You reek of happiness," he said in disgust. "And where the hell's your mask? Oh, no, you didn't. Please don't tell me you showed her your face!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "It's much easier to do certain things without a mask on," he pointed out, conveniently forgetting all the times he'd gotten laid without removing it.

Pakkun gagged in a manner eerily reminiscent of Naruto. "Oh, God, you _have_ lost your mind," he groaned. He flopped down on Kakashi's chest, shaking his head sadly. "You gave up the inner sanctum. You gave up the mask. You let her stay here while you slept, and you didn't even summon any of your ninken to guard you! Damn, you've got it bad." When his master just laughed, he groaned again. "I'm not even gonna waste my breath trying to talk sense into you 'cuz I can already tell it's too late. So when do I get to meet your mate, boss?"

_Mate…_ for some reason, that word sounded damn good to Kakashi. "Soon," he promised, still unable to wipe the extremely un-ninja-worthy grin off his face. Something about Suyo just inspired him to goofy grins–thank God the mask would hide his expression or he'd never live it down. He didn't think he could handle the hazing his fellow jounin were sure to inflict on him if they ever found out how disgustingly happy he acted every time Suyo was around. "Very soon."

"Good," Pakkun said in satisfaction. "I've got animal instincts, you know. I need to check her out and make sure she's on the up-and-up since you're obviously thinking with the wrong head right now."

Kakashi considered being offended by that statement before shrugging. He wasn't entirely sure the pug wasn't right about that. "I want one of you to stay with her while I'm on missions," he said, voicing something he'd been considering since he'd left with Gai on that hideous rescue mission. Although Naruto had stayed with her while he'd been on that mission, the boy wouldn't always be able to do that, and he didn't like the thought of Suyo worrying alone. "I can't spare you, but I thought about assigning Bisuke to her."

Pakkun sighed and shook his head as though still mourning the loss of the last fragments of his master's sanity. "Is there any particular reason your mate needs a ninken to look after her?" he asked. "Doesn't she have a team watching her back?"

"She's not a ninja," he replied, and went on before Pakkun could repeat the lecture he'd already heard from Gai. "I'd just like to have one of you around so you can report to me if anything happens here."

"I'm not even going to go there with you about the utter stupidity that is _you–_of all ninja!–dating a civilian, but again, is there any particular reason she needs a ninken to look after her?" The pug raised his head and looked piercingly at Kakashi when he just shrugged. He wasn't going to get into his paranoias with the little dog. Pakkun gave up after a minute and rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine, don't tell me. I didn't want to know anyway. But if you're asking for my opinion, you should assign the job to Bull."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. The giant mastiff wasn't exactly the kind of companion he'd had in mind for Suyo–and he wasn't entirely sure the huge dog would even fit through her door. "Why Bull?"

"Because Bull makes S-rank missing nin piss themselves," Pakkun said in a bored tone. "And if some bad guy shows up and tries to put a hurt on your mate, Bisuke wouldn't be worth much in a fight–he's more of a spy and infiltrator, like me. I guess you wanted him so he could talk to her, right?" Kakashi nodded. "Well, maybe Bull doesn't talk, but since most civilians aren't used to talking ninken, that's probably best anyway. And if you really are worried something's going to happen to her and this mission isn't just a lame-ass cover for you trying to make sure that no one hits on her while you're gone, Bull can tear an ANBU assassin to shreds without even fully waking up. So give the job to him and please, for the love of God, wipe that vapid smile off your face before I vomit."

The Copy-Nin sat up, dumping his dog from his chest. "Good idea. Bull it is," he agreed, ignoring the _vapid smile_ comment in favor of stretching expansively. God, when was the last time his body felt this good? No aches, no pains, no cramps or sore muscles… not even hours spent soaking at the hot springs could leave him in this condition.

And that thought quite nicely solved the second problem he'd been contemplating.

"Oh, God, it just got worse," Pakkun moaned. He covered his eyes with a paw. "Put the mask on, please! I can't take that expression any longer."

"Quit whining like a pup, it's unbecoming of a ninken," Kakashi said absently as he opened his closet and pulled out a fresh uniform. "I've heading to the hot springs. Are you coming or do you want to go back?"

Pakkun gave a long-suffering sigh. "I'm coming," he said disgustedly. "It's my duty to make sure you don't do anything fatally stupid, and since you're clearly not thinking straight, I should tag along to pull you off the ledge."

Kakashi snorted as he quickly dressed and adjusted the mask over his face. "You're too dramatic," he said as he tied the kunai pouch on.

"Yeah, yeah, bite me," Pakkun growled, but he fell into step behind Kakashi as he left his apartment.

It didn't take long to cross the village and arrive at the bath house set over the Konoha's natural hot spring. He stopped at the reception desk and rang the bell. "Ahh, Kakashi-san!" the old bath house attendant said as she recognized the silver-haired jounin. "It has been too long!"

He returned her bow and gave her a one-eyed smile, genuinely happy to see her. Most of the time one of her grandchildren took care of running the baths. "Indeed it has, Namiko-obaasan. How have you been?"

"Oh, nothing to complain about, my family keeps me well," she said as she returned his smile. She was one of the few people Kakashi had ever allowed to fuss over him. Something about the tiny woman simply made it impossible to resist her when she insisted on spoiling him. "I know you're still taking far too many missions–you should take better care of yourself," she scolded fondly, already reaching for the key ring hung on her belt.. "But a nice long soak will put you right, I always say. The private suite is empty now–shall I unlock it for you?" It was the suite he always requested whenever he could since it meant he didn't have to worry about being seen without his mask.

Kakashi shook his head. "Not now, but I want to reserve it for the rest of the evening," he said, hoping that Suyo would enjoy the hot springs as much as he did. "I'll be bringing a guest. Will that be acceptable?"

"Indeed! We are always pleased to serve you, Kakashi-san!" Namiko agreed, and a few minutes later, Kakashi had paid for the reservation and was walking happily away with the key securely in his pocket, confident that Namiko would set up the suite as he'd requested.

"You know, I will never understand humans. Why go to all that trouble just to get your mate naked?" Pakkun said as soon as they exited the bath house. "She already gave you the goods, so–oof!"

Kakashi had grabbed the dog by the scruff of his neck and now held him an inch from his face, at the perfect level to receive the full force of his glare. "Adjust your tone, _dog,_" he growled, knowing that to call the highly-skilled and intelligent ninken a mere _dog_ was a terrible insult. "You will not speak of her like that, do you understand me?"

"Fine, fine!" Pakkun yelped, his little legs flailing in the air. "Put me down, you oaf!"

Kakashi didn't put him down, but he did tuck the little dog into the crook of his arm as he continued walking down the street again. "Besides, this isn't about sex," he murmured, speaking quietly because he was aware as always that living in a shinobi village meant that someone was nearly always listening in. Ninjas loved to gossip more than they loved to drink, and considering how much alcohol vanished during the annual jounin Christmas party, that was saying something.

"At the risk of getting shaken by my scruff again, if getting the private bath suite isn't about getting your woman naked and doing the dirty, what's the point?"

Kakashi replied with one word he thought hell would freeze over before he'd use it to describe anything he'd ever do. "Romance," he said simply, and spent the rest of the walk back to his apartment trying to ignore the incredulous look on the pug's expressive face.


	20. More Than Skin Deep

**A/N: Again, sorry for the delay in posting! Work and spider bites trying to make my hand rot off get the blame. Keep some good thoughts for me, if you have any to spare, that these stupid bites start healing up soon and I get to avoid surgery. Waaaah, no likey getting cut on!**

**To Lady Phantasmagoric, who asked about the names of Kakashi's ninken: no, I didn't make the names up, they're the real ones from the manga. For anyone else who's curious, Kakashi's dogs are Pakkun (obviously the pug), Shiba (the brown one with the black tuft of fur on his head), Bisuke (called Biscuit in the English translation which is a name I just cannot use for a seriously kick-ass ninja hound, he's the little one with dark rings around his eyes and the kanji for _shinobi_ on his forehead–I think he looks like Gaara), Akino (the big frowning one with sunglasses, and I think _he_ looks like Shino), Guruko (the small tan one with long black ears who wears the hitai-ate on his forehead), Uhei (the white-muzzled one with bandages around his neck and leg and head), Urushi (the rather psychotic looking, medium-size grey and white one), and last but definitely NOT least, Bull, the ginormous black mastiff–he's called Buru in the untranslated manga, but I just love the name Bull for such a huge dog, so I decided to keep the English translation in his case.**

**Finally, yes, I know that the stereotypical hot-springs bathing scene is _totally OMG like SO overused y'all_ but yanno, Kakashi was just so damn proud of himself for making Suyo sore, I couldn't resist. She'll have to get some revenge on him for that, yes? Oh yes.**

**Hmm, but does it count as revenge if he loves every second of it?…**

.

Kakashi was waiting outside the tea shop when Suyo's shift ended. His gaze softened as he watched her leave the little shop, stretching cramped muscles and obviously tired after spending hours on her feet, serving customers. _She shouldn't have to work so hard_, he thought, moving out of the shadowed overhang where he'd waited for her. _I'll have to do something about that._

She turned as he stepped into the light of the street lamp and he wasn't sure if his movement caught her attention or if she'd simply sensed him again. Despite his natural desire for stealth and anonymity, Kakashi found himself hoping for the latter. Why did it make him feel special that she was able to sense his chakra? "Long day?" he asked, giving her a one-eyed smile as he walked to her side, hands in his pockets to keep from grabbing her and kissing her senseless.

Suyo smiled up at him. She didn't reach out to him, though, and he wondered if she mistook his posture for reluctance to publicly proclaim their relationship. On the heels of that came the sudden nervous thought–did he actually _want_ the village to know about this? It wasn't like anyone had been particularly supportive so far… well, he supposed that with a little imagination and a lot of leeway in the word's definition, Naruto could be considered _supportive_, in his own annoying, insulting, irritating teenaged way, but even he certainly hadn't started off in favor of it. Did Kakashi really want to open himself up for more "helpful" discussions as to why he was batshit crazy for even considering being with Suyo?

"It's all better now that you're here," Suyo said, those beautiful green eyes soft and welcoming, and the sweet sound of her voice and her simple happiness to see him made the decision for him.

The hell with what anyone else might think or say–this was what _he_ wanted, and fuck them all if they thought he was crazy to go for it.

Kakashi reached out and took her hand. She looked surprised but definitely not displeased, and she again laced her fingers through his. "I've got a surprise planned for you," he told her, tugging gently on her hand to draw her closer.

And just as it had on their first date, it thrilled him to the core that she didn't hesitate to move into his embrace. She smiled again, and in that moment he wanted to kiss her so damn bad, and walking to the bath house seemed far too slow–

She gasped when he Body-Flickered them to the bath house, and he thought his smug grin was hidden until she pinched him. "A little warning before you do whatever that is would be nice, you know," she hissed, glaring up at him.

"But that would take all the fun out of it, ne?"

Suyo rolled her eyes before glancing around him. Her smile evaporated when she realized where he'd taken them. "Kakashi, wait, I–" she began, her entire body stiffening.

He laid a finger over her lips to stop her, already understanding the objection he wouldn't let her speak. "Shh, it's all right. I've reserved the private bathing suite," he said softly. "It has its own changing room attached, and there is only one key." He held it up, let it twirl in the dim evening light. "Suyo, I promise that no one will see you but me."

Her green eyes searched his single grey one for a long moment before she finally nodded, but her body didn't relax against his. "I still can't believe you'd want to see this body of mine," she whispered as he led her through the large doors into the bath house.

"Wait until we're alone and I'll show you exactly how much I want to see that body of yours," he murmured in her ear, letting enough of his barely-banked desire echo in his voice to make her blush. She slapped the side of his head, but it was half-hearted and he dared to nip her ear through his mask before pulling away before Namiko caught him at it.

He didn't doubt she'd be waiting for him to arrive, and not just because he'd never brought a guest with him before. The old woman had looked entirely too curious when he'd detailed just what he wanted for the suite tonight.

But she was also tactful, so while Kakashi did indeed catch a glimpse of her grinning hugely in the shadows behind the empty check-in desk, Suyo didn't notice her. He ushered her down the familiar hallway and unlocked the final door at the very end–unmarked, unobtrusive, nothing to attract the attention of those who didn't know what lay behind it. And Kakashi knew that most of Konoha didn't. The existence of this private bathing suite was a closely guarded secret, shared only with those few who'd earned the privilege of its use.

Tonight his palms were uncharacteristically sweating as he opened the door and let Suyo precede him inside to the changing area. He was used to the small bathing suite's quiet, unadorned decor… but tonight, with Suyo beside him, he felt like he was seeing it for the first time.

And it looked so utterly transformed that he actually spared a moment to wonder if he'd entered the correct room.

Namiko had outdone herself, he had to admit. Gone were the usual electric lamps, replaced by countless candles on every surface. Flowers of all descriptions scented the humid air. Instead of the usual thick terry-cloth robes provided standard by the bath house, two light, sumptuous silk ones lay neatly folded on the counter beside a stack of thick, sinfully fluffy towels.

"Oh, Kashi," Suyo whispered, looking around the little room in awe, and his heart sped a bit at how she always called him that the instant they were alone.

His mask was gone in an instant, his mouth on hers less than a second later. She gasped a little at his speed–being a ninja was good for sneak attacks–but melted against him after a bare second, arms slipping around his waist. Kakashi licked his way into her mouth and explored. It wasn't the slow, gentle kiss of last night–he'd been wanting this kiss too much since she'd left for work. But she met him with equal passion.

He pulled away before he could get too carried away, always a danger when kissing Suyo as he'd known since that first night in front of her fireplace. "It'll be even better in the water," he promised her as he slipped his hands beneath her tunic. He leaned back and gave her a lecherous grin. "Mostly because we'll be naked."

She laughed at his playful leer, but he felt the tension return to her muscles. "I… I'll just… I need to… I'll meet you there in a minute," she murmured, cheeks red, and Kakashi considered pushing the matter for only a moment before simply nodding and releasing her. She grabbed a towel and robe and scurried into the little screened-in alcove in the corner as he started shedding his own clothes. He knew this was hard for her, and perhaps he was asking too much, wanting to see all of her again when he knew how much she hated her scars.

But she also needed to know how much those scars didn't keep him from wanting her with a passion bordering on insanity, and this was the best way he could think of to prove that to her.

Kakashi had been in the water several minutes before the connecting door between the bathing pool and the changing area slid hesitantly open. He stretched his long arms over the stone ledge of the hot pool, making himself wait for her instead of rushing to her.

Suyo finally stepped out. The silk robe clung to her lovingly, but she clutched the neck closed with one hand and held a folded towel to her middle with the other like a shield. "Close your eyes?" she asked, and for the first time since he'd met her, Kakashi found himself shaking his head and refusing her.

Instead, he stood up. The water was just deep enough to dance around his hips, leaving his chest, abdomen, and groin clothed by mere wisps of steam. "I told you that your scars don't make you any less beautiful to me," he said softly. He gestured down at his cock, which was still at half-mast from their earlier kiss. "You know a man can't lie about this. Take off that robe and see for yourself how much I want you."

Suyo bit her lip, looking adorably torn for a long moment. Then she slowly put the towel down on the table beside his and untied the robe's knotted belt. It seemed to take forever for her to begin to slide the silk off her shoulders. At the last moment, she turned away, giving him her back.

And it was ravaged, crisscrossed with scars he recognized as lashes inflicted by whips, marred with old, shiny burns and deep, puckered incisions. The exit wound from the katana pulled tight as she dropped the robe beside her towel. Her buttocks were slashed, the scars on her legs continuing up to meet at the small of her back in a twisted spiral.

She just stood there for a moment that felt like an eternity. Kakashi wanted to go to her but was afraid to move, didn't want to spook her into putting that robe back on because scarred or not, she was the most desirable woman he'd ever known. Scarred or not, he wanted to kiss every inch of that skin, worshiped the woman who wore it. "You can honestly look at this and not feel disgusted?" she whispered, and if he wasn't a shinobi, he would've missed the bitter doubt in those nearly inaudible words.

Bitterness… it was foreign to her, so painful to hear it momentarily choked him. He had to swallow twice before he could find his voice. He'd been thinking of what to say to her all day, how to finally tell her what he felt. He'd spent hours planning and writing scraps of mushy sentiment that were rewritten until they were illegible, but none of that would do now. He dismissed everything Sakura had told him about romantic nonsense and spoke from his heart instead–baldly, directly, the way he always spoke.

"Do you want the truth? I'll give it to you. I'll tell you exactly what I feel when I look at you, Suyo, and I won't lie," he said, and only years of training in emotional control could keep his voice this steady when he was feeling this intensely. "Is it?" She nodded almost imperceptibly, and he slowly walked through the hip-deep water toward her as he answered.

"I feel amazed at your strength," he said, moving forward an inch at a time, not making a sound, barely a ripple to disturb the still water. "I feel such admiration for you, that you survived it and you aren't insane when so many would be. I feel amazed that you didn't lock yourself away, that you can actually still care about people after going through that. I feel in awe of you every time you look at me without hating me for being what I am, because God knows I would, in your shoes. And God knows I feel humbled that you're so much better than I am."

She didn't move, but he wasn't done. "I feel enraged, Suyo. I feel so _fucking_ pissed off that I couldn't save you from that, that the bastards who did it are dead and I can't kill them for you." The words were a growl now, nearly feral, but he didn't try to rein it in this time–this was the truth and she wanted it. "I feel like ripping the hands off anyone who ever tries to touch you again. I want to fight all your battles for you, destroy anyone who dares to threaten you ever again, lay their heads at your feet–and I will. I want to hold you tight, keep you safe, keep you from experiencing any pain ever again."

She was trembling now and he was out of the water, only a foot away. He closed the distance with a single step and closed his wet hands over her shoulders. She jumped, but only a little, and he took courage from the fact that she didn't pull away. "And I feel like kissing every single scar," he murmured in her ear, voice soft now, needy, seductive, and this was the truth, too. "I want to take the pain away and give you pleasure instead. I want to feel your skin on mine, to sink inside you and force all the bad memories away, to kiss you until you'll never get the taste of me off your tongue."

She leaned back against him and he spun her in his arms, cupping her face in his hands and forcing her to meet his fierce one-eyed gaze. "I feel like you're _mine,_ Kimura Suyo, every single inch of you, and I will do anything–_anything–_to keep you."

He wasn't sure which one of them moved first, but then her mouth was beneath his, lips parting, welcoming his tongue inside, and he lifted her effortlessly and carried her into the hot pool. She gasped when it first touched her skin, but he didn't release her mouth and she was soon sighing with pleasure. Whether it was from his kisses or the soothing warmth of the water was anyone's guess, but Kakashi chose to think it was all due to him as he went back for more.

Long minutes passed before Suyo surprised him by breaking away from the increasingly heated kiss–he almost didn't let her go because he needed her more than he needed air in that moment, but she was insistent and he quite reluctantly released her. "What is it?" he asked, no longer startled by the deep, passion-roughened tone that came out when he spoke to her. He'd accepted that his voice was just like everything else about him–fundamentally changed, made unrecognizable by her presence.

She swirled her arms in the steaming water, drifting away from him. This time he didn't try to hide his frown. Further away was _not_ what he wanted. "Stand up," she said, smiling that wicked little smile he had only ever seen her wear the night she'd dragged him through her front door and promptly blown his mind with her unexpected passion, and even if she hadn't been speaking in that erotic, breathy, turned-on-just-by-him voice, he would've done anything she asked.

Kakashi rose slowly to his feet. As before, the water slid down his body to his hips, and the heat inside him burned hotter as he watched her raptly following the gliding droplets with her gaze. "Like this?" he asked, shivering a little at the heat of the water on his thighs, just brushing the base of his cock, while the rest of his hard shaft rose above the water.

"Mmm." Her smile grew when he twitched at that throaty purr. God, she made the sexiest damn sounds… "Not quite. Back up a little."

This time he raised an eyebrow as he complied, stepping back until his ass hit the stone edge of the bathing pool. "Now you're too far away," he couldn't keep from complaining. Hot as it was to see her looking at him with such unabashed lust and admiration, it was nothing like actually touching her.

Kissing her.

Sliding deep inside her and hearing her sob out his name in broken, desperate moans while he made her come…

Suyo kicked at the bottom of the pool and glided over to him. "Then I guess I'll have to get a little closer, ne?" she murmured, and when her hands slid behind his knees under the water, when she moved his feet a little further apart and settled between them, when he realized just what was on her mind…

"Oh, _God,"_ he groaned as his head dropped back and he grabbed the rounded stones beside his hips with enough force to make his knuckles creak. _Think of something boring, _he thought desperately, squeezing his eyes shut, knowing that if he so much as looked down right now, if he saw her dark head between this thighs, those rosy lips parting, he would come in an instant. And by all the gods and demons, he would die if he missed this. _Think of graphing shuriken trajectories, think of filling out mission paperwork, think of training Team Seven, think of–_

"Kashi?" Suyo purred, and_ oh_ _fuck,_ that little puff of air was her _breath_ on his _cock,_ her mouth must be just an inch away–

He made some inarticulate choked little sound that might conceivably have been an answer–_think of doing the dishes, think of chakra theory, think of Gai–no, no, don't think of Gai, that's too much even for this–think of weapons maintenance–_

And then he couldn't think of anything, because something warm and wet and soft and velvety stroked up the side of his cock and every thought in his head sizzled into oblivion, leaving him unable to do anything but just _feel_ every blazingly hot, spine-tingling second of her tongue on his most sensitive skin.

"… Kashi, open your eyes."

Against his better judgment, risking instant orgasm and the end of everything, Kakashi did as she said because he could do nothing else–she owned him, didn't she know that? He watched as she held his gaze and rubbed her cheek against his erection, green eyes taking in his reaction, watching any semblance of self-discipline or restraint take flight, seeing the hunger he knew was blatantly written on his face.

And she smiled.

"That's the look I want," she murmured in satisfaction. "I want to see you lose control for me this time."

And before Kakashi could tell her that was crazy, that he had lost control around her so often he didn't even recognize himself most of the time anymore, those rosy lips parted and her neck bent and he didn't even try to stop himself from groaning her name at the hot, soft bliss of her mouth engulfing the head of his cock.

The sight of her closing her eyes as though savoring his taste.

She swirled her tongue around his head, flicked it into the little slit at the end, and part of the stone broke off in his hand as his eyes rolled back in his head with pleasure. He dropped the shattered rock and reached out blindly for something else to ground him, found Suyo's hair floating around her in the water, tangled his fingers in it–

And everything stopped.

"Now, now, that's not how this works," Suyo scolded, and why did her stern, chastising tone turn him on even more? She took his hand from her hair and firmly led it back to the stone. "This time, I touch you. You don't touch me."

_Fuck… _he wasn't sure he could take much more of this, and she'd barely begun. "Suyo," he whispered, afraid to say it any louder because he knew it'd come out much too needy.

She bit his hip, a sharp, stinging, punishing little bite. "None of that either," she said sternly, and his knees threatened to buckle. "Your job is to stand there and keep your hands on that wall, and I'd better not catch you holding back like that again. Understood?"

He couldn't speak. All he could do was nod, both eyes open now, needing to memorize the blatantly sexy smile and that hard, wanton gleam in her eyes and the sight of her mouth coming back to him, oh God, her tongue flicking out and lapping drops of water from his shaft, licking him like an ice-cream cone before swallowing him whole–

Her hands were moving now under the water, too, stroking up his thighs, sliding back to caress his ass, grabbing his hips to keep them still because he could not stop the involuntary thrusts with each rhythmic slide of her lips over him. Her hair spread out in a dark cape around her shoulders, the water-borne strands tickling his thighs, his sac. Those hands moved again, this time up over his chest, tracing each of the muscles that was now straining with the discipline it took him not to just grab her and fuck her senseless, and her appreciative moan vibrated down his cock and made him cry out in a strangled, desperate voice he never would've thought could have belonged to him.

She moaned in approval of that, too, humming a long note that really made his knees buckle this time. One hand came down to cup his balls while the other played over his chest, and the stone was cracking under his hands again but in contrast his arms were trembling like overcooked noodles, legs shaking, head thrown back on a neck that suddenly lacked the strength to support it, mouth open and gasping and moaning and pleading and making inarticulate noises of indescribable ecstasy…

His orgasm hit him with the force of a thousand fireballs, incinerating every nerve in his body as he cried out and came and came and _came_ into that hot mouth that sucked him dry, moaning with satisfaction at each new spasm, and those moans on his cock shot even more pleasure through him, too much, he couldn't handle it, couldn't survive much more, but he'd die if it stopped–

And when it was finally over, when the waves of inescapable pleasure finally released him, he slithered into the water in an absolutely boneless heap. He didn't care if he drowned because there wasn't enough air in the universe for him to catch his breath after such intensity.

Suyo was laughing as she pulled his limp body up out of the water and kissed his open, stunned mouth. "Mmm, that was _fun,_" she said when she pulled away, and he moaned all over again because drained as he was, her voice still turned him on. "We'll have to do that again sometime, don't you think?"

"Suyo," he said, or tried to say, but nothing was working right and it came out as a garbled, breathless groan. She laughed again, then wrapped her arms around him and guided him to the bench and held him close to keep his head above the water. Several minutes passed before he was finally able to speak again. "You are amazing," he whispered, somehow mustering up the strength to lift his head and look at her–it seemed a Herculean task.

She was all cheeky, sexy smile, droplets clinging to her eyelashes like tiny diamonds, cheeks flushed, completely smug expression at reducing him to this. "And you, my very scary ninja, are a puddle of goo."

God, she was right about that. He knew he was grinning that foolish grin again as his head fell back, and Suyo really was the perfect woman because she'd already put a towel there to cushion the stone. "I'm going to make you scream my name when I can move again," he promised, but the relaxing hot water wasn't helping him regain anything like muscle control. "In an hour or two."

Suyo's laugh filled the steamy air and Kakashi closed his eyes, just soaking it in. He didn't need the Sharingan to memorize this. If he could perfectly recall all the worst moments of his life, surely he could remember the best one forever.

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**A/N: More huge squeeeeeeeeeees and thanks to o0-Constance-0o for this new and incredibly awesome pic of Kakashi and Suyo! Check it out and be awed by her brilliance, too!**

**Http:// i6. Photobucket. Com/ albums/ y230/ iopele/ KakashiSuyo. Jpg**

**PS–My hair is fuchsia right now. Just thought you might all want to know that. Hee!**


	21. Open Book

**A/N: Thanks for the good wishes on my spider bites, everyone! They're finally getting better and hopefully they'll be gone gone BUH-BYE in another week or so. NO HAND SURGERY, YAYNESS!**

**This chapter's kind of low-key, but I hope you'll like it anyway. Eleventy-hundred thanks to all of you for your reviews! Much love and smooches! Please keep it up, it makes my day all bright and shiny to see the new reviews in my inbox. And a happy writer writes faster, as we all know, so you can call it enlightened self-interest, LOL!**

**Still don't own it. Still wish I did. So it goes.**

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The candles burned low around the pool, their flickering light a perfect illumination reflecting off the hot water. Kakashi held Suyo on his lap now, closing his eyes as her hand lazily traced little nonsense patters over his chest. It was sexy, but more than that, it was strangely relaxing. While a small part of his mind listened for the gong that would notify the bath house patrons that the establishment was closing, the rest floated in a contented neutral.

Suyo's fingertips slipped up his throat to his face and stroked gently over the scar marring his eyelid. Her soft murmur after such a long silence somehow didn't break the mood. "Will you tell me about this?"

He kissed her palm, only mildly surprised that she'd finally asked. Although they had a kind of unspoken agreement not to ask about each other's scars, he knew she'd seen his Sharingan when she'd come to him at the ANBU training grounds. Curiosity was only natural. "What do you want to know?" he asked, strangely not reluctant to discuss it with her.

"Whatever you want to tell me," she replied, lifting her head from his chest for the first time in many long minutes. He opened his eyes–both of them–and smiled down at her as she trailed a finger across his brow. "It's amazing–I've never seen anything like it."

"It's called a Sharingan," he said, no longer surprised at how easy it was to talk with her. "It's a kekkei genkai, or a bloodline trait. Not all clans have them, and the ones that do protect them zealously. This particular one runs only in the Uchiha bloodline." Her eyes widened a little, betraying that Naruto had told her about Sasuke. "Yes, those Uchihas, and Sasuke does indeed have the Sharingan."

"But you're a Hatake, not an Uchiha."

He nodded, agreeing with her since it wasn't a question. "No, I'm not, and when an Uchiha awakens the Sharingan, it is in both eyes, not just one. My teammate on my genin team was an Uchiha, though–Obito was his name."

Obito's face rose in his mind again as it had the night before, laughing, scowling, teasing Kakashi, always so frustrated when he refused to rise to the bait. For a long time, he stared into the middle distance, thinking of the boy who was now long gone, buried under rubble too deep and heavy to move. Yet another shinobi whose body would never be reclaimed.

Then he dragged his thoughts back to Suyo, to her question. How could he explain what had happened so she'd understand, when he barely understood it himself? "It happened on my first mission as a jounin, my first as taichou. I was so determined to be perfect," he began, speaking slowly, thinking it through. Remembering. "Things went bad pretty quickly, and I… I wasn't like I am now, Suyo. I was so focused on completing my mission that I was willing to let my teammate die to do it. But Obito… well, you could say he knocked some sense into me."

He smiled a little at the memory of those words that had changed him so much–_shinobi who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are even worse than trash. _ "I abandoned my mission to help him rescue Rin. We were ambushed when we were fighting to free her. This–" he touched his own scar, "–was the first really serious injury I'd ever suffered as a shinobi. It was a kunai–I almost dodged it in time, but I just an instant too slow. That was all it took to lose my eye."

Suyo leaned up and kissed the scar. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's all right. Every ninja knows such things are a possibility. You accept the risk when you don the uniform," he said, and that was true enough, but at the time he'd been infuriated with himself. That kind of carelessness wasn't _perfect._

"How did you end up with his Sharingan?" she asked gently when he didn't continue. "It is Obito's, isn't it?"

He nodded, and the Sharingan stung again–a familiar feeling, tears trying to well up in that eye. He'd always mocked Obito for his quick tears, and it seemed like he was getting his revenge for that in making Kakashi endure it now. "When someone attains the rank of jounin, their teammates give them gifts. It's tradition," he said, gaze still focused on the past, remembering. "Obito… he was forgetful, always late. Careless. He was…" He smiled. "He was a lot like Naruto, in fact.

"The mission was pretty much a disaster when I lost my eye," he went on, although _clusterfuck_ was probably a more accurate word. "We were outnumbered and outmatched in every way. Obito had just awakened his Sharingan and wasn't very good with it yet, I was half blind, and Rin was out of her head from genjutsu torture. There wasn't a chance of completing our objective. The most we could hope for at that point was to retreat and hope to get back to Fire Country alive. We were in full retreat when I got hit on my blind side and fell, and one of the enemy nin triggered a rockslide jutsu right on top of me. But instead of doing what I would've done–instead of letting me go down and get killed–Obito pushed me out of the way and took my place under those boulders." He took a deep breath, the air shaking in his chest, and blew it out. "He died for me, Suyo, and to this day, I still don't know _why_ the hell he did it."

She hugged him. "Because he clearly saw the same things in you that I do," she answered softly.

It was the best explanation of any, so he didn't question it even though he still couldn't fully accept it. "He was still alive, but we all knew he wasn't going to make it," he said. The story was getting a little harder to tell now, but her arms were around him and she kissed his shoulder, and he concentrated on that and managed to go on. "He told me he had a gift for my jounin promotion now–this eye. Rin was a medical-nin and she did the transplant before he died."

He sighed, forcefully releasing the memory and looking back down into Suyo's eyes instead. "Because I don't have Uchiha blood, it's difficult for me to use the Sharingan–it's a constant chakra drain so I keep it covered when I don't need it. It takes more energy, more concentration, more everything, but I've worked hard over the years with it." That was the understatement of a lifetime–he'd exhausted himself nearly to the point of death learning its secrets, had sweated blood to master the damned thing. Not only was it an unrivaled weapon, it was a way to keep at least some part of Obito alive. "With the Sharingan, I can see chakra flowing, read an enemy's movements before they strike, anticipate and steal their jutsus, even sometimes glimpse their thoughts and feed them doubts. It's a powerful tool."

Suyo was silent for a long time, still caressing his face. "I'm sorry for the loss of your friend," she finally said with simple, honest sympathy.

How like her to disregard the lethal skill he'd just explained and strike right at the heart of his feelings. Kakashi dropped a kiss to her lips, closing the Sharingan again. It amazed him how he felt so… so _normal_ with her right now, that even while speaking of missions and kekkei genkai, he could still feel just like a man with his woman. Was this what it was like to have all his masks down? He'd wanted her to see his true self–was this who he was inside?

He hoped so, because he was coming to crave the moments he felt like this with her. He brushed a droplet from her cheek and savored the softness of her skin beneath his thumb. "Obito would've liked you," he said, knowing it was the truth. He'd always tried to get Kakashi to loosen up, to stop being a shinobi for just a few minutes. He would've been awed by this woman who was able to actually accomplish that feat.

She smiled brilliantly at that, and then the gong he'd been dreading sounded and he sighed. "Unfortunately we'll have to go now," he said regretfully. "The bath house is closing."

She stretched, then rose from his lap and climbed out of the pool. To his immense satisfaction, she looked absolutely boneless with relaxation and didn't once blush or hesitate as she slid naked from the water. "I have something of yours at my apartment. Are you coming home with me?" she asked, glancing back over her shoulder with a little smile.

"That is a question I'll never say no to," he replied, following her out of the water.

~*~*~

Naruto was waiting for them when Suyo unlocked her apartment. Something was bubbling on the stove, and while it didn't smell as delicious as Suyo's cooking, it didn't reek like Naruto's usual muck, either. "Hey, Suyo-chan, finally! I was getting worried–oh, that explains it." His happy voice turned into a grumble when Kakashi followed her inside. "Don't you have an apartment of your own, sensei?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. In truth he was a bit taken aback to find the teenager so comfortable in her home when he'd been anticipating spending a little more time alone with her. "But I like this one better."

Naruto snorted. "Poor Suyo-chan, what'd I tell you about bringing home strays?" he lamented. "You feed them once and they never go away."

"Certainly explains you," Kakashi shot back.

"Boys, boys," Suyo chided, smiling, and locked the door behind them. "I know you didn't cook that, Naruto, since it smells really good. What is it?"

He stuck his tongue out at her but didn't deny it. "It's from Ichiraku," he said proudly, lifting the lid of the enormous pot and stirring it. "Teuchi wanted to try a recipe for something that isn't ramen and he said he couldn't think of anyone better than me to try it first. I asked him to make enough for both of us so you could have some, too."

She laughed at the sight of her biggest soup pot nearly full with the new soup. There was probably enough in there for five people. "Well, it looks like there's enough for your sensei to try it, too, if you can stand to share," she teased. "There might be only six or seven bowls for you."

Naruto kept grumbling, but he submitted to Suyo's hug and kiss on the cheek with a bright smile and let her take over the reheating of Teuchi's new recipe. Kakashi pulled down bowls from the cabinet while Naruto set out spoons and napkins, and between the three of them, the table was soon set with bowls of delicious-smelling soup.

The simple domesticity of it was utterly alien to Kakashi, but he couldn't deny he liked it.

They'd barely sat down when there was a knock at the door. Suyo looked up, surprised, but Naruto was up and bouncing across the room to answer it before she could so much as wonder who was calling on her so late. He glanced over his shoulder as the teen opened the door–

And instantly slammed it again, but not before Kakashi caught a glimpse of a white porcelain mask above the black and silver uniform. "Kakashi-sensei, this is probably for you," Naruto said stiffly, but Kakashi was already moving.

"I'll take care of it," he said. He dropped a masked kiss on her forehead as he stood. "I hope I'll be right back, Suyo."

She smiled easily enough that Kakashi was sure Naruto had been fast enough to prevent her from seeing the ANBU who'd knocked. He waited until Naruto was blocking her view of the door–something the boy did without either of them so much as exchanging a glance–before he slipped through it.

The assassin's tone was as blank as his white lion mask. "Hatake Kakashi, I have an urgent summons for you from Godaime. You and your team are to report to Hokage Tower at once."

He stifled a sighed. He should've known this contentment was too good to last. "I will be there shortly, Lion-san," he said, keeping the disappointment from his voice with an effort. He really shouldn't complain–nine days off between missions was almost unheard-of. "Naruto is obviously here with me, but I would appreciate it if you could summon Sakura and Sai."

"Hai, Kakashi-senpai," Lion replied, and with a quick salute, he was gone in a swirl of leaves.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes for a moment before reentering Suyo's apartment. Unsurprisingly, Naruto had already finished his bowl of soup and was slurping down the last of Kakashi's. He just thumped the blond on the back of his head as he came to Suyo's side and brushed his palm over her hair. "I'm sorry to do this to you, Suyo, but Team Kakashi has been summoned. We'll probably leave at once."

That tension returned, stiffening her shoulders, dimming her smile. She rose from her chair and kissed his lips softly through the mask, but all she said was, "Don't think about me."

"I won't," he promised, hoping it was a vow he could keep. He touched her cheek one more time before releasing her and turning to Naruto. "You ready?"

Naruto was watching his and Suyo's interaction strangely, but his face cleared as he nodded at once. "Suyo-chan, will you be okay by yourself?"

"Of course I will," she said, waving a hand dismissively, but his comment reminded Kakashi of his conversation with Pakkun.

"Actually, I had an idea about that," he said, and with a quick bite and series of seals, he summoned Bull. The enormous mastiff arrived in a big puff of smoke. "This is Bull," he said, smiling at the stunned look on her face and the utter confusion on Naruto's. "He's one of my ninken–a trained ninja dog. I thought you might like some company while I'm gone, and since he's so cuddly…"

Bull gave him a baleful glare at being called _cuddly,_ but Suyo was already approaching him with her hand out. "He's magnificent," she breathed, and Bull's glare vanished instantly. He sniffed her hand, glanced between her and Kakashi with a mildly quizzical expression, and submitted to having his ears scratched. "I didn't know you liked animals, Kakashi."

Naruto snorted out a laugh. "Likes them? Bakashi-sensei _is_ an animal."

Suyo shot the teen a twinkling, wicked grin. "Now that, I already knew." Then she laughed as the boy promptly went into a blushing, gagging fit and started yelling things about needing brain bleach. Kakashi couldn't hold back his own grin at seeing her out-innuendo the perverted teenager as she looked back at him. "You're sure you can spare him, Kakashi? I really would like the company, but if you need him…"

He patted Bull's massive head and nodded. "I want him with you," he said simply. "I want you to feel safe, and he's one of the best ninken in Fire Country."

She leaned up and kissed Kakashi's exposed ear. The feel of her lips on his bare skin sent shivers through his entire body. "Thank you, and I love you," she whispered. He savored those three words. "Now go before I get all emotional in front of Naruto, all right? Be safe."

"We will," he promised, then bent to whisper to Bull while she hugged Naruto tight and smiled for him like she didn't have a fear in the world. He assumed that Pakkun would've already jumped on the chance to share this juicy development with the rest of the pack, but just in case, he wanted to give the ninken some instructions. "She's my mate," he murmured, holding the dog's deceptively mild gaze. Using that word was still a thrill. "She's got some history with the Sound, so keep a close eye and send word if anything happens, all right?"

Bull barked once to show he understood–it was something like a minor explosion–and then Naruto was done with his goodbyes and Kakashi led the blond out the door, leaving the warmth and comfort of Suyo's home behind.

It was time to put his masks back on and go to work once more.

But before they could leap to the rooftop and speed toward Hokage Tower, Bull's booming bark made them turn around to see Suyo leaning out her window. "Kakashi! I almost forgot–this is yours!" she called, waving a little bundle.

He made a quick jump back and took it from her. "Thanks," he murmured, smiling at her and risking pulling his mask aside for a bare instant to kiss her. "I'll be back soon."

"You'd better," she said, returning the smile, and then he and Naruto were away.

He didn't have a chance to open that package just then, however. They ran into Sai and Sakura on the way, and then Tsunade's briefing–a complex one involving the Sound, Sasuke, and plots involving infiltrating Orochimaru's base–took up all his attention. The next hour was spent gathering weapons and supplies, then rushing to get underway as fast as possible. So it wasn't until they finally stopped for a rest break at dawn that Kakashi remembered the little wrapped package she'd pressed on him and moved a little away from the three teenagers to open it.

Inside was a familiar orange-covered book–when had he left one of his _Icha Icha_ novels with her, anyway? Wondering if she'd actually read any of it brought a smile to his face. He idly flipped through it, not really paying attention to where the pages fell, but the oft-repeated action was comforting.

And that was when he realized that Suyo had indeed read his book. But that wasn't all.

She'd _bookmarked_ it. And, in some places, added notes in the margins.

Kakashi laughed out loud–God, she was perfect for him–and quickly stifled the sound before Naruto could get nosy and ask him what was so funny. This wasn't something he particularly wanted to explain.

Paging through the book more carefully this time, he saw that she'd written little messages on some of the bookmarks. One such scrap fell out and he saw a little scribble on it in an elegant, controlled hand: _Don't you think this one would work better with whipped cream than butter? _Another one said, _This sounds fun. I'll bring the rubber bands, you bring the feathers._ In a third place, there wasn't a note, but a braided lock of her hair was pressed between the pages. He raised it to his face and closed his eyes in pleasure at the soft scent trapped in the strands.

He heard his team stirring behind him and quickly stashed the volume in its usual place in his kunai pack. She must've known he wouldn't dare read such a distracting book unless it was safe–he would take her additions to the story as tacit permission to think of her during such times. He could hardly wait to open the volume again and find the rest of the surprises she'd hidden for him in there, but now wasn't the time.

Naruto approached a moment later, hands in his pockets as he looked up at the sunrise. "Kakashi-sensei," he said, nodding vaguely in his direction but not looking at him.

This was a bit odd. Kakashi instinctively tensed, remembering how closely he'd been watching he and Suyo say their goodbyes. "Yes?"

"You... you're doing really great," Naruto mumbled. Instead of looking at the sky, now his attention was focused on his feet as though they were the most fascinating things he'd ever seen. "With Suyo-chan, I mean. I just wanted to tell you that. She seems really happy with you."

Wow... the unexpected praise momentarily rendered him speechless. Kakashi gave the teen his one-eyed smile, meaning it this time. "Thanks, Naruto." The teenager just grunted before going back to the other two, his fox-whiskered face a bit pink.

Well aware that a hint of that stupid grin was back on his own face, Kakashi stood and got his team moving again, his heart much lighter than it had been.


	22. Mission

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the loooooooooooooooooooooong delay in updating--don't hurt me! *_whimper*_ The stupid spider bites caused a lot of trouble and Real Life got in the way, but I think I'm just about back on an even keel now. Here's hoping, anyway! **

**Disclaimer still in effect, I still love reviews, and I'll try to update faster next time... enjoy!**

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Kakashi focused his entire being on their mission as his team traveled quickly through the late morning sunlight toward River Country. They hadn't yet passed beyond Fire Country's borders, but he was still on high alert. Infiltrating one of Sound's hideouts was never easy and this time they weren't altogether sure that their arrival wasn't expected. The information they'd been given from Tsunade had come from an anonymous source, which was something Kakashi never trusted easily.

In his experience, trustworthy informants didn't hide their identity.

But despite his misgivings, Kakashi didn't hesitate to lead his team to the area where the Sound outpost was rumored to be. Sasuke might be there. And even if he didn't have Naruto adamantly demanding to leave no stone unturned in his quest to bring the last Uchiha back to Konoha, Kakashi would take whatever risks were necessary to save his former genin student. He would do no differently where it Naruto or Sakura who had fallen into shadow.

The forest was sinking the nearer they came to the borderAnd. The ground was no longer sure beneath their sandals as patches of water and swampy, marshy mud opened between the trees with increasing frequency. With a gesture, Kakashi directed his three teammates into the branches. They wouldn't leave tracks here, and they wouldn't have to worry about sinking in an unexpectedly deep area and soiling their supplies.

It would make camping a real pain in the ass, though.

With that thought in mind, Kakashi glanced at the three teens, assessing them each by turn to see how they were holding up after fourteen hours of sustained travel at speed. As usual, Sai's face gave nothing away, but the Copy-Nin was skilled in reading body language and he could tell the undercover ANBU member was growing fatigued (of course he knew Sai was ANBU, he hadn't been an ANBU captain for years for nothing). Sakura's mouth was set in a grim line of determination as she matched Naruto leap for leap despite the tremble he noted in her legs. She'd grown so much in strength and skill over the last three years–Kakashi found himself impressed daily by her newfound confidence–yet she still had limits. And speaking of Naruto... as always, the jinchuuriki showed no signs of physical stress at all as he set a considerably fast pace for the rest of them. The blond teen would push himself past the point of collapse without a moment's hesitation, but he didn't seem like he was anywhere near that limit now.

Kakashi landed on a wide branch and held up his closed fist to halt them even though he wasn't tired yet himself. The extended break between missions had refreshed him fully, but even if he hadn't just spent nine days off, he wasn't easily fatigued. The experience of over two decades spent as an active shinobi had given Kakashi a body like a fucking machine–less than three percent body fat over muscles cut from granite and tendons like steel cables. When necessary, he could fight without rest for days on end in the most extreme conditions imaginable without losing his lethal edge.

But the key words there were _when necessary_.

It wasn't necessary to exhaust themselves yet. They should rest now while they could, because their goal was less than a day's travel away and the chance of getting any future opportunities to grab some sleep were uncertain at best.

His three teammates stopped beside him on the branch at his signal. "We'll stop here until nightfall," Kakashi told them. "Eat and rest. I'll take first watch."

Naruto looked like he wanted to argue, but when Sakura flopped gratefully down with her back against the trunk, he bit back the words. Instead, he dropped down to a lower branch and wedged himself in a V as he dug out a ration bar and his canteen. Sai stretched out on his back on the narrow branch, as relaxed as if he reclined on a king sized bed, and closed his eyes. Within seconds he was asleep.

Kakashi pulled out a ration bar of his own and turned his back on the team so he could eat it without using his genjutsu disguise. The little jutsu didn't use much chakra, but when he was on a mission, he preferred to conserve every bit of it he could. Unlike a certain fox-boy, he didn't have an unlimited supply. And since some shinobi could detect chakra when a jutsu was performed and use those traces to track the ninja casting it, using any unneeded jutsu this close to enemy territory was foolish. Keeping his back to them and wolfing down the ration bar was just a better option at this point.

Besides, Kakashi was confident that none of his teammates could sneak up on him to steal a peek at his face anyway. They were good, but he was still better.

After two hours, Kakashi nudged Sai to take over the watch and chose his own spot to grab some rest. He settled between two branches further out on the limb, one cradling his back, the other providing a handy support to wrap a leg around, and closed his eye with a silent sigh. But even though the gentle sway of the branch in the breeze was incredibly soothing, Kakashi still couldn't completely relax. Something about this mission just felt wrong. He wasn't sure what it was, but he'd lived by his instincts too long to disregard them now. "Naruto," he murmured without moving, confident that the blond would hear him. When the blond was worried or keyed up--as he was certain to be now that they were headed into Orochimaru's territory--he never slept.

"Yes, sensei?"

"Don't rush into anything during this mission," Kakashi said, wondering if he was wasting his breath. Naruto was anything but rational when it came to Sasuke. "Something smells rotten about this whole thing. I can't shake the feeling that we're being set up. You are to stay with the team at all times, and that's an order. Understand?"

Naruto scowled. "But Sasuke might be there--"

"Yes, and if he is, he'll be working against us," Kakashi cut him off. "He won't be happy to see you. Your orders are to stay with the team at all times. Do not break rank. I don't care if you see Sasuke or not, you will _not _leave the team. Is that understood?"

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto finally growled, but he didn't look at his team leader when he said it. Kakashi didn't mind that, though. He could trust the teen's word. After all, his nindo was to never break his promises. He was positive that Naruto would stay with Team Kakashi unless circumstances made it impossible.

Reassured on that count but still deeply uneasy about the mission as a whole, Kakashi allowed himself to slip into a light doze.

Sunset arrived to find Sakura on watch–Naruto had taken his turn after Sai. Kakashi spread their sketchy map on the trunk and signaled his team to gather around to review their plan before they set off again. "According to our informant, this base has only one way in or out," he said, touching the map with the tip of a kunai. "If our information can be trusted, the base should be empty right now, but I'm not convinced that we won't meet any resistance. At the very least, we must anticipate traps. Sai, you and Sakura will team up this time. Naruto, you're with me."

Sai blinked, which was the closest he would ever come to showing surprise. "That's the opposite of our usual team assignments," he commented in his bland voice.

Kakashi nodded. Some team captains would react badly to being questioned, but Kakashi found it was easier to just explain than try to assert absolute authority. "Yes, but for this particular mission, I think this division will be best," he said mildly. "Usually Sakura is with me because the medic nin should be paired with the strongest fighter, but during this mission, I will need to direct Naruto and his clones to ensure that we search the base effectively. I can't do that if he's with you, Sai, and I have confidence in your ability to look after Sakura should things get ugly."

All that was true, but it wasn't his only reason. The bad feeling in his gut centered on Naruto. Whatever was waiting for his team would be most dangerous for the jinchuuriki. In this instance, Kakashi wanted to keep the boy as close to his side as possible just in case things went to hell.

He gave a little one-eyed smile to the pinkette kunoichi. "Not that you need much protection, Sakura," he added, and was pleased to see her shoulders straighten at the praise. "Besides, the two of you work well together. Any other questions at this point, or shall I go on?"

The three teens shook their heads. He tapped the map with his kunai again. "When we enter, we will proceed together along this first main hallway," he continued the briefing. "There is a T juncture here--" _tap_ "--and we'll split into our 2-man squads at this point and conduct the search. Try to find the lower levels. If this base is laid out like others we've seen, any information will be there. We are looking for scrolls, files, photographs, maps–we want to know what Sound is up to. Any information we find, we will copy. Originals will be replaced exactly as they were. Our objective is to enter and exit without raising any alarms. We want to be _invisible_." He looked at Naruto especially as he said that. "That means no footprints, nothing missing, everything in its place when we leave. Understood?"

"Hai," they replied together.

Kakashi nodded and rolled up the map once more. "Then let's get moving. Sai, you're in front. Sakura and I are in the middle, and Naruto, you're rearguard. Remember we're in enemy territory from this moment on, so be on your guard. Move out!"

They traveled at a fast pace, every one of them on alert. Darkness fell soon after they passed into River Country and they didn't slow down, moving by moonlight through the swampy terrain. Midnight had come and gone by the time they reached the landmark circled on their map–three fallen trees that formed a rough triangle on the marshy ground. Kakashi halted them and made a circling gesture with one hand, telling his team to look around for the base entrance that should be nearby.

Sakura found it several minutes later by dispelling the cloaking jutsu disguising it. Kakashi observed the shadowy doorway for a long time, looking for signs of recent occupation, checking his instincts for warnings. Finally he signaled Naruto and the two of them cautiously entered.

The air was musty inside, smelling of mildew and disuse–it certainly felt deserted. Naruto took one side of the hall, a single pace behind Kakashi, and his team captain allowed himself a moment to admire the teen's composure. He liked seeing Naruto like this–serious, sober, intensely focused on the task at hand. Nothing like the silly, easily distracted kid seen goofing off around Konoha, when Naruto was on a mission, he was 100% shinobi warrior. It made Kakashi proud to think he'd had a hand in shaping such a fine ninja.

Minato would've been damn proud of his son, and Kakashi thought he might've been proud of his former student for whatever part he'd played in polishing Naruto's raw potential into this sparkling prowess.

But Kakashi only allowed himself a second for those thoughts before focusing on his surroundings again. They moved down the dark hallway, methodically checking every step for traps, scanning the walls for jutsu kanji, not relaxing their guard when they found nothing. Kakashi heard Sai and Sakura enter the base when he and Naruto reached the end of the entrance hall and waited for the two to catch up with him and Naruto. At the place where the entrance branched into a long hallway, he nodded once at Sai, then led Naruto to the left while Sai and Sakura took the right.

This was the third Sound outpost Kakashi had been in, and they all seemed to follow the same general plan. Built like a puzzle, the base was a mass of twisted hallways and locked doors around a central open chamber almost like a throne room. If the pattern held true, this level would hold mainly barracks. They wanted the deeper levels where research was conducted and information was analyzed if they hoped to learn anything more about what Orochimaru was planning and when he would try to take over Sasuke's body.

Kakashi stopped at the next branching of the halls and held up a hand to stop Naruto. "It's time to send out your clones," he whispered.

Naruto nodded and made his trademark hand sign. "_Shadow clone jutsu!"_ he whispered, and suddenly a dozen blond teens crowded the hall beside the Copy-Nin. Without another word, the clones scattered.

Now all they could do was wait until one of them found the path to descend to the lower levels of this particular Sound hell. When that happened, the clone would release the jutsu and all the knowledge it had gained would return to Naruto. That was what the Shadow Clone jutsu had been invented for, after all–sending a clone through enemy lines to spy out the territory without risking the life of the shinobi was a useful skill. But only Naruto, with his massive chakra stores enhanced by the Kyuubi, could summon nearly unlimited numbers of clones at a time.

Naruto straightened a few minutes later. "This way," he murmured, and this time he took the lead and Kakashi followed. The path was a twisting one but the teen didn't hesitate at any turn and soon they were descending a dank stairway carved from stone.

"Can you send a clone to notify Sai and Sakura of the way down?" Kakashi murmured as they carefully navigated the damp, slippery steps.

"Already done," Naruto replied just as quietly. "I didn't release all my clones. Three are searching for them now."

Kakashi nodded, impressed that he'd planned ahead. "Good work." Yes, Naruto on a mission was far different from Naruto at home. "We haven't run into any traps yet, but that just makes me more certain that we'll find some down here. Don't let your guard down."

"It's a bit late for that, I'm afraid."

Both Kakashi and Naruto spun around at the familiar voice. "Sasuke," Naruto whispered, fists clenching, and Kakashi put a hand on his arm to restrain him from rushing forward.

The dark Uchiha stood alone at the end of the torch-lit hallway, arms crossed over his chest, Sharingan swirling red. "I would say it's a surprise to see you here, but it's not," Sasuke said. "Looking for anything in particular, sensei, _dobe?"_

Naruto ignored the familiar insult. "Just a way to save you," he growled, leaving the words _you selfish idiot_ unspoken but very clear anyway.

Kakashi tore his gaze from those swirling red eyes and uncovered his own Sharingan to fight the Uchiha's visual jutsus... but it was too late for that.

Sasuke smirked as he straightened and drew a pair of kunai. "Your mind is very interesting, sensei. I expected to learn something useful, but I never thought it would be about the woman Kabuto-san is so eager to find. Thank you for letting me know where she is."


	23. Unpredictable

**A/N: Sorry it's late, sorry it's short! I blame Real Life. It's really cutting into my fantasy-world time. Pretty rude, wouldn't you say? I'm much happier putting Kakashi through heaven and hell by turns rather than dealing with my own dramas and sagas. Where's the pause button for life???**

**Spare some thoughts for my beta o0-Constance-0o, will ya? She's pretty sick and could use 'em. Thanks a million!**

**.**

The blood in Kakashi's veins froze, then blazed with pure, undiluted rage. _...the woman Kabuto-san has been so eager to find.._. oh, hell no. No way in hell was Kakashi letting that sick fuck get within a _mile_ of Suyo. He didn't even have to glance at Naruto to know the blond felt the same way–the tension in the arm beneath Kakashi's restraining hand told him all he needed to know.

All plans were now null and void. The mission was forgotten in favor of one imperative. Sasuke could not be allowed to share this information with Kabuto. Period.

"Forget everything I told you before this mission," Kakashi growled to Naruto as he released the teen's arm and shifted into a battle stance. "He doesn't leave here. Do whatever it takes."

"_Hai_, sensei," Naruto said, and together they attacked.

Kakashi had absolutely no idea what Naruto was going to do when they leapt for Sasuke together–not that anyone was _ever_ really sure what Naruto was going to do when he went on the offensive. That was an undisputed advantage for the jinchuuriki during a fight, because it's hard to block what can't be anticipated.

However, that same unpredictability definitely made being his wingman a challenge.

And Kakashi didn't kid himself now. Not that long ago, there would've been no question about the fact that Kakashi would've led any attack. He'd outranked Naruto–still did, in fact–outclassed him in skill, left him far behind in strategy, dominated him in every way. But no longer. Three years with Jiraiya had turned the blond teen into someone his former jounin-sensei barely recognized.

Three years ago, Naruto's raw power had been a bludgeon, used simply to pound the hell out of all in his path–wasteful, but usually effective.

Now that vast power was sharpened and honed, a blade to be used with precision to slice an enemy to bits.

So this time, Kakashi accepted his role as wingman. He watched Naruto's moves, positioned himself to take advantage of any gaps in Sasuke's guard, and stayed ready to rescue his reckless student from anything he couldn't get himself out of. All too clearly Kakashi remembered Minato snatching him back in the nick of time from an ill-considered attack...

Sasuke obviously hadn't been expecting them to attack him so soon, without any further talk at all, because both Naruto's spinning kick and Kakashi's Giant Fireball hit him squarely. Momentarily stunned by the impacts and the ferocity of their twin assault, Sasuke nonetheless recovered quickly. A blindingly fast series of hand signs triggered a shockwave of electricity that knocked both Kakashi and Naruto back. Kakashi didn't even bother with the usual regret for teaching the Uchiha the Lightning Blade technique before letting lose with another jutsu of his own–summoning his dogs, he sent them through the ground to attack Sasuke from beneath the earth while Naruto created a dozen clones to distract him.

They were more than just distractions, though. A dozen clones meant six Rasengan, and even with the Sharingan helping him anticipate the clones' movements, Sasuke had all he could handle just dodging them. The Uchiha sent a spray of Phoenix Flower fireballs toward his opponents. Several of Naruto's clones exploded into smoke. That gave Kakashi an opportunity to let fly several special shuriken while his movements were hidden in the smoke. Each shuriken was attached to a fine chakra wire that responded to his will, allowing him to guide the spinning projectiles around his target.

Sasuke dodged the first three by leaping straight up and sticking to the ceiling in a crouched position, as Kakashi had known he would. The fourth, however, snagged the hilt of his sword and ripped it from its scabbard across his back. Sasuke made a lunge for it as Kakashi yanked the unblockable sword Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi away, but Naruto was there to stop him–three Narutos, actually, two clones who quickly vanished in smoke to camouflage the real jinchuuriki's flying hammer-kick. Kakashi sent the sword skittering down the hall, far out of reach, as Naruto's vicious kick knocked Sasuke from his gravity-defying perch and sent him crashing into the floor below.

Sasuke got to his feet quickly, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth and glaring death at his former sensei and teammate. "Nice plan," he said, not even glancing at the distant sword–he knew they would never let him reach it. "But it's not going to make a difference in the end, you know. You're not going to win. I've grown more powerful than you could ev–"

Kakashi's ninken burst out of the ground just as Naruto hit him with a veritable avalanche of Rasengan-wielding clones, and even Kakashi's Sharingan couldn't keep track of them all. Distinguishing the location of the real Naruto, the Copy-Nin sent another series of chakra-wire rigged shuriken into the fray. Clones exploded left and right as he snapped the wires taut and dismissed his dogs, leaving only one figure bound in the midst of the smoke.

Uchiha Sasuke struggled fruitlessly against the unbreakable chakra wires, trussed up neatly as a Christmas turkey.

Kakashi resisted the urge to tighten the wires until they cut into skin and bone as Naruto wrapped a blindfold around the struggling Uchiha's lethal eyes. "You will regret this!" Sasuke vowed, snarling and thrashing in his bonds.

"Maa, somehow I don't think so," Kakashi replied mildly even though his fists were still clenched. This fight hadn't been anywhere near long enough to vent the rage that had exploded through him when Sasuke had threatened Suyo. "Looks like Orochimaru will have to get along without his golden boy for a while."

Naruto lifted Sasuke and slung him over one shoulder as Kakashi retrieved the Kusanagi from the end of the hall. "Come on, _teme_. Time to go home to Konoha." Then he grinned at Kakashi, as cheerful as if they'd just sat down at Ichiraku instead of engaged in a brutal–if short–battle to capture their former teammate. "Hey, Kakashi-sensei, I thought you had a bad feeling about this mission, but it couldn't have ended better! You need to get your head tuned up!"

Kakashi shrugged. Naruto was right–capturing Sasuke was something they'd all dreamed of for years. He should be just as happy as the blond was right now.

But that bad feeling... it hadn't faded. If anything, it had only gotten stronger, and Kakashi couldn't make himself reply.


	24. Hounded

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, I beg your forgiveness, but Real Life has been deeply sucktastic lately and I haven't had time to write. To nutshell it, my son had a horrible reaction to a vaccine and spent a week in the hospital, and then the child I take care of (I'm a pediatric home care nurse) had major surgery and has also been in the hospital, AND I've had to unexpectedly buy a car because mine pretty much exploded. And I still owe $20,000 on the damn thing so I've been working 70 hour weeks to try to make some overtime to keep food on the family and a roof over the table, or whatever. Yeah, _sucktastic_ is too mild a word.**

**BUT! Here's a new chapter! And if there's anything that can brighten the dreariest day, it's Kakashi, am I right? For everyone wondering about the direction the story is going in, I will say this–TRUST ME. No matter what you think I'm doing. No matter how tempting it is to think I've deeply fucked up. Srsly. There's a master plan. _*wink*_**

**(And no, o0-Constance-0o, I won't tell you what the plan is. Because I'm _evil_, that's why. Heh.)**

**And now for the disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would've paid off that dead frickin' car a long time ago because twenty large would be pocket change, and I'd be driving an Aston Martin. If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would've gotten his ass kicked LONG before now–there would be blood, pain, and messy humiliation involved in excess of recommended daily allowances. If I owned Naruto, Danzo would be Tsunade's sniveling little bitch. If I owned Naruto, Kakashi and Asuma would co-star in a 3D movie edition of _Icha Icha Paradise_ with full virtual-reality technology so you can see, feel, smell and taste _every _highly delicious detail. If I owned Naruto, oh, the fun we'd all have! **

**But I don't. And that makes me a sad, sad panda.**

.

Kakashi had set his team in watches to keep an eye on Sasuke until an ANBU team arrived to escort them back to Konoha, but he couldn't bring himself to stand down when his shift was over. It wasn't that he thought Sakura or Naruto would release the Uchiha–no way in _hell_ that would happen–or that he didn't trust Sai. It wasn't that he doubted the strength of the restraints that held the dark teen captive, or the effectiveness of the genjutsu and binding seals he'd applied himself. And it wasn't that he feared Sasuke's Sharingan–those dangerous red eyes were bound shut with more than cloth, and he had confidence in his own Sharingan abilities to even the odds were he to have to battle the dark Uchiha again.

It was just… it was that damned gut feeling that simply wouldn't go away. His instincts twisted and gnawed at him, keeping Kakashi just edgy enough that he couldn't relax and sleep while the others stood guard. _What is it?_ he thought, mentally prodding at that annoying tickle in his mind that refused to leave him alone, examining it from every angle, dissecting it in hopes of finding something–_anything–_specific. _Where is the danger? What's wrong?_

But no matter how he meditated on it, how he pushed the limits of his senses and formidable intellect, Kakashi couldn't pin it down. Nor could he shrug it off. It was _maddening._

If he could be grateful for one thing as the endless hours passed, it was that Sasuke had finally given up snarling threats at them all. It had been truly grating on his already taut nerves. If Kakashi had to hear what horrors Orochimaru had in store for them one more time, he might just have had to silence the brooding "avenger" himself. It was a bit too reminiscent of schoolyard whining for him–_you're gonna be sorry, my daddy can beat up your daddy!_

Not that Kakashi had ever participated in such petty boasting himself–there'd been no need to invoke White Fang in schoolyard disagreements because he'd had none. By the time he'd entered the Academy at age four, _Kakashi_ could beat up anyone else's daddy all by himself, and none of his fellow students had dared to push him. But he imagined that the annoyance he felt as Sasuke bitched and moaned was similar.

When the four-man ANBU squad arrived ten hours later, Kakashi was deeply relieved. Much as he would still do anything for his former genin student, he was more than happy to have reinforcements in case Sasuke's mutterings were more than just idle threats and Orochimaru showed up with the calvary. He nodded at each ANBU as they halted beside him. "Rat… Lion… Badger… Hawk," he said, receiving a curt nod from each of them in return. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Of course, Kakashi-sempai," Lion replied. "We are ready to assume responsibility for your prisoner. Hokage-sama didn't brief us on your plans. Will you be traveling back to Konoha with us?"

The three teens were on their feet now, nerves showing on Naruto and Sakura's faces. Sai, as always, was impassive, but Kakashi sensed his desire to help his new teammates return Sasuke home. "Yes," he said, making a quick decision that whatever intelligence could've been gained from the base would be far overshadowed by the knowledge Sasuke held. Technically, this mission would be classified as _incomplete_ because he'd chosen to abandon their goal, but no one would call it a failure once they had the Uchiha home again. "I know you've traveled quickly; please take an hour to rest while we break camp."

"_Hai, _sempai," Lion said, and he and the other three ANBU sank down to sit cross-legged in a circle around Sasuke. While they might've been still, there was nothing in the masked soldiers' demeanor that suggested they weren't ready to burst into lethal action at any moment.

It was a posture Kakashi remembered so very well, was in fact the posture he'd been unconsciously keeping while waiting for the squad to arrive. That was the life of an ANBU, and suddenly he realized he didn't miss it at all–spending every moment on guard, ready to fight, always on high alert even when surrounded by Konoha shinobi and allies. While it was comforting to know that he could still do it, that his sharp edge and stamina hadn't waned during the years since he'd retired the Hound's porcelain mask, Kakashi was glad to let these younger shinobi take over.

It was disturbingly easy to go back to that ANBU mindset, and that wasn't who he was anymore.

For the first time, Kakashi allowed his vigilance over his captive to ease a little. He turned to his three young teammates to order them to break camp only to find they were already doing so. His mask hid a little smile. It was good to finally see them working as a team, anticipating his orders instead of arguing against them. "Once you've got your packs set, rest. All three of you," he added, looking hard at Naruto. The blond had been as edgy as Kakashi ever since they'd sent Pakkun to the Hokage to request the escort squad, his beast close to the surface, feeding off his turmoil and anxiety. "We'll be traveling fast and we won't stop again until we're in Konoha."

"_Hai,_ sensei," all three replied, and Kakashi finally allowed himself to relax. He sat against a nearby tree, not trying to doze although he knew he probably should–even a few minutes' sleep, grabbed whenever opportunity presented itself, could help him replenish his energy and recharge his chakra. But instead, he merely focused on clearing his mind and resting his body in preparation for the hard trek ahead.

And as soon as he did, Suyo's face rose before his mind's eye.

So gentle, that face. Full lips, soft and rosy and nearly always smiling. Green eyes shining with a wealth of love he still could hardly believe was really for him. She was so different from him, and all the more precious for it. He held her image close for only a moment before firmly shoving it away. He had no business thinking of her now–he'd promised not to do so, and this was definitely _not_ mission downtime. And he still hadn't forgiven himself for not guarding his thoughts and thereby letting Sasuke know that Suyo was alive and well in Konoha.

If the Uchiha had told Kabuto about her, Kakashi would kill Sasuke himself, his vow to do everything in his power to save the teen be damned. And despite Naruto's fierce loyalty and determination to somehow restore the dark teen to honor as a shinobi, Kakashi couldn't imagine that he would protest. Suyo was every bit as important to Naruto as she was to the Copy-Nin. While Naruto could–and did–forgive Sasuke everything else, betraying Suyo to the man who'd tortured her and murdered her family might be the only thing the jinchuuriki couldn't forgive.

Exactly an hour had passed when he heard Sai's footsteps approaching. "We're ready," the teen said, but the words weren't necessary. Kakashi was already rising to his feet.

Kakashi glanced over at Lion, the ANBU team's leader–there was no insignia, no mark of rank, but he knew it all the same. "When you are ready, Lion-san," he said as he shouldered his own pack.

The ANBU flowed to their feet–there was no other word for the movement. It was a liquid, predatory transition from sitting to standing that took barely a blink of an eye. A moment later, Sasuke was slung unceremoniously between two of the blank-masked warriors and the group leapt into the trees for Konoha.

Lion took point, Kakashi rearguard. Naruto stayed a pace ahead of his sensei. Sakura traveled in the middle of the group with Rat at her elbow–as the group's only medic-nin, she warranted her own guard in this dangerous situation. Sai held position behind Lion, just ahead of the pair of ANBU and their bound captive. It was a much larger group of shinobi than usually traveled together, and Kakashi moved his hitai-ate to uncover his Sharingan while still holding the eyelid closed. This many shinobi inevitably created a large chakra signature–the Konoha nin were tamping down on theirs but Sasuke most certainly was not, and Naruto simply had too much chakra to completely mask. The Copy-Nin wanted to be instantly ready for full-out battle should any enemies pick up on it and come investigate what prize warranted so many guardians.

They'd waited too long and fought too hard to capture the Uchiha to lose him now.

Lion set a considerably fast pace and Kakashi's muscles reminded him of his fatigue as he kept up. He probably should have slept, but it didn't matter. He wasn't anywhere near his limit and he was sure that none of his team were, either. Dawn broke as the ANBU nin occasionally rotated position–now Rat was point, Lion and Hawk supporting Sasuke, and Badger maintaining position beside Sakura. Naruto and Sai also traded position, but Kakashi would trust rearguard to no one else. It was the position most likely to come under attack and he would always take the most risk for himself.

The sun had nearly reached its apex in the sky when the attack came. Kakashi caught a scent in the breeze and opened his Sharingan just in time to perform a kind of tumbling mid-air roll that made the whistling kunai and shuriken flying toward his heart pass harmlessly instead of impaling him in a dozen places. "Attack!" he shouted to the others while simultaneously firing off a series of hand signs that set the earth shaking beneath them. He hoped to knock their ambushers off-balance in their perches enough to make them reveal their positions.

They were too skilled for that, though. Behind him, Kakashi was aware of three of the ANBU squad converging around Sasuke while Rat, Sai, and about three dozen Narutos swarmed the forest around them. "Sakura, your left!" Kakashi called, seeing the chakra hidden in the tree beside her, and he didn't wait to watch her crush the enormous tree to toothpicks with one chakra-loaded punch. He was already leaping again, hands flying through seals, unleashing Sasuke's own Phoenix Flower Jutsu on those who thought to rescue him.

Explosions, screams, the spatter of flying flesh and blood–the symphony of battle rang in his ears, whispering temptations for him to surrender to the killing frenzy he'd so often embraced in his life.

He didn't resist it.

Two of his Phoenix Flower fireballs hit their marks, but despite the screams and the sudden nauseating stench of burned flesh, they weren't enough to disable the burned targets alone. Kakashi hadn't expected it would be, which was why he'd flung a handful of kunai in each fireball's wake. Two of those found their marks, too–not the same two–and the exploding tags tied to each kunai's handle finished one enemy and severely wounded the second. _Just four with my first attack,_ Kakashi thought as he bit his thumb to summon his dogs, _I'm slipping._ He slapped his hand to the branch beneath his feet. "Summoning Jutsu!"

Shiba, Akino, Urushi, Guruko, and Uhei appeared in puffs of smoke and their howls and snarls only added to the cacophony as they immediately separated and leapt into battle. Pakkun and Bisuke attacked together, their viciousness not impaired by their small size as they worked in concert. From the corner of his eye Kakashi saw Bisuke execute a chakra-charged jump off Pakkun's back and clamp his jaws around a blond nin's throat as Pakkun, snarling, bit the ninja's hand to make him drop the kunai he'd been about to stab into Bisuke. A second later, the ninja fell, blood pooling around him on the forest floor.

But Kakashi had no time to watch his dogs fight, nor to regret leaving Bull in Konoha. Three nin suddenly surrounded him. They attacked in unison but had no hope of touching him–his Sharingan told him more than what moves they were going to try next. Punches and kicks whistled by without making contact. Performing a quick henge, he left the three clones stabbing a block of wood while he reappeared next to the real enemy. "Three clones is impressive," he growled, jamming his chidori-charged fist through the ninja's chest, "but not impressive enough." Instead of letting the body fall, Kakashi flung it at another ambusher trying to sneak up on Sai–a full-grown man was harder to dodge than a kunai.

Sai's attacker leapt out of the way, and that gave the teenager the moment he needed to press his hand to the scroll he'd been swiftly drawing on. Four huge ink monsters instantly erupted from the paper. While one sprinted away to help Sakura, the other three tore into the enemy nin in a roaring frenzy of ink and blood.

It was over with astonishing abruptness. Kakashi had just finished being the distraction that allowed Lion to decapitate a shinobi with one swift slash of his katana when silence fell, broken only by the crackle of the branches still burning from Kakashi's Phoenix fireball/exploding kunai combination. "Is that all of them, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, deadly black-gloved fists still clenched.

He swept the forest with his Sharingan. The only chakra signatures he saw were from Konoha nin and his ninken as the fighting dogs surrounded and patrolled the area to make sure all their enemies were indeed dead. "All clear," he said, only then relaxing his fighting stance. It took a moment to wrestle the Hound side of his nature back into its box, locked away until he needed it again. Then he couldn't help but smirk at Sasuke. "Daddy's gonna have to do better than that, ne?"

The Uchiha bared his teeth at his former sensei but didn't reply. That was a good thing, because Naruto had just stopped beside his former teammate and the look on his face said he didn't have any problem beating the hell out of a bound prisoner who didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. A slash on his forehead that laid it open to the bone was dripping stinging blood into the jinchuuriki's eye and he was clearly pissed off about it.

"Hawk, Badger, Sai-san, search the bodies. I don't expect we'll find anything, but we must still be thorough. Sakura-san, please see to the wounded as quickly as possible," Lion said as he flexed his arm, testing its range of motion. He gave a curt nod at Kakashi's questioning glance, confirming that he was not badly injured. "Kakashi-san first, I think."

Only then did Kakashi feel a bolt of pain from his left shoulder. He looked down to see a kunai buried just below his collarbone, half the blade hidden in his flesh. "Maa, didn't notice that," he said, and calmly covered his Sharingan again to hide the agony suddenly screaming along his nerves. Why the hell was it that nothing hurt until he actually _saw_ it?

"Oh, give me a fucking break," Naruto groaned, transferring his glare from Sasuke to his former sensei as Sakura hurried over and pushed him down to sit on a fallen log. "We already know you're a bad-ass, you can't impress anyone here, so cut the bullshit. That had to hurt like fuck!"

"Language," Kakashi said, the last part of the word turning into a grunt as Sakura none-too-gently pulled the kunai out. He winced, not exaggerating much when he shot her a pained look. "Just because I didn't feel it going in doesn't mean you have to make it hurt twice as much coming out, you know."

His banter didn't bring a smile to the kunoichi's face. "Sensei, this is really deep. It barely missed your aorta, and I don't know how it didn't puncture your lung," she said after a few minutes, biting her lip in concentration as she held both green-glowing hands over the wound.

"Just lucky, I guess," he said flippantly, trying not to whimper as his damaged flesh was forced to knit back together. _Damn,_ but that hurt! He glanced down and saw the torn muscle and blood vessels were already nearly healed. She really was a fine medical-nin to do so much so quickly, one of Konoha's best. "That's enough, Sakura," he told her. "We don't have time. I'll put a bandage on it and it'll be fine. See to Rat. This isn't a safe place to hang around."

She glared at him. "Do you realize this could have killed you?" she snapped, glowing hands still in place. "If you stress this wound while we're running–"

He overrode her. "It could have, but it didn't, so I'm telling you to save your chakra in case they come back." His gaze was as hard as hers. Her concern was touching, but this wasn't the time for it. "Go see to Rat so we can get moving. This is not a request."

Sakura started to protest again–and truly, medic-nin usually had their way with such decisions–but Naruto stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'll slap a bandage on Bakashi-sensei for you," he said. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan, I'm sure he won't die just yet. You can kill him later."

"Nice," Kakashi said, one eyebrow raised, as Sakura finally went to see to Rat's leg wound.

"Yeah, well, it worked and nice is overrated," Naruto groused as he started wrapping bandages around Kakashi's chest and shoulder. When he was done, Kakashi was bound so tight he felt half mummified, but he didn't complain. If what Sakura said was true–and there was no reason at all to doubt her–that kunai had come within a hair's breadth of ending him. He'd always known that he would die in battle, but he had absolutely no intention of doing so yet.

For once, he had something to live for.

"Here, let me take care of your head," Kakashi said, taking the remaining roll of bandages from Naruto and starting to bind up his cut. "You need to be able to see properly so you can continue kicking ass and taking names."

"Language," Naruto mocked, and Kakashi actually smiled. Moments later, the group was underway once more, hyperalert for another attack. Kakashi was forced to give up his position as rearguard–Sakura might've been overruled about completely healing his chest, but she was adamant that he not reopen the wound–and Naruto took his place. Sai now held one of Sasuke's arms, Lion on the other side, while Badger took point and Sakura partially supported Rat with his arm over her shoulders as Hawk stayed protectively close.

It was nearly sunset when Konoha's huge gates loomed before them once more. Kakashi sighed in relief–no more attacks had hampered their return–but his job wasn't over yet. His mission wouldn't be finished until Sasuke was locked in their most secure cell and Tsunade had been fully briefed on the mission.

Naruto, Sakura, and Sai accompanied Rat to the hospital and Kakashi took the man's place as the ANBU squad rushed to the Torture and Interrogation Headquarters with their prisoner. Only when Ibiki had personally taken Sasuke from them did Kakashi finally allow himself to relax.

Lion took his leave from Kakashi with a polite, if short, bow, and Kakashi felt all the weariness of the mission settle firmly on his shoulders as he began making his way over the rooftops toward Hokage Tower. As he neared the market street, he instinctively scanned the still-busy streets below, finally allowing himself to think of Suyo again. Gods, how he wanted to go to her, to slide into her bed and hold her and just sleep…

It took a moment to realize that she actually was down there on the street and wasn't just a figment of his imagination. Kakashi landed catlike on the next roof, staring hungrily down at her. She was smiling as she walked, a little paper to-go bag in one hand, the other gesturing as she talked to… just why was Iruka walking with Suyo at sunset, anyway?

The persistent sense of danger in the back of Kakashi's mind didn't seem concerned by this, however, so he mentally shrugged and pushed it aside. The chuunin-sensei didn't have his arm around her, wasn't touching her in any way, wasn't even walking all that close, and Kakashi refused to be one of those jealous idiots who made fools of themselves by overreacting. Still, even though he couldn't take the time to jump down to street level and greet her, he wanted her to know he'd gotten back all right. More than anyone, he knew how she worried when he and Naruto were away.

Remembering how her talent for finding him worked, he pulled up a bit of chakra and focused it on her, sending a mental nudge to get her attention as he would to another shinobi. He could tell instantly that it had worked. Suyo stopped in mid-sentence and immediately started scanning the street and trees for him. Iruka frowned and the Copy-Nin saw his lips move, probably asking her what was wrong, but she just held up a hand to forestall him and kept searching. Kakashi stepped to the edge of the rooftop, hoping that would attract her eyes, but she was still looking much too low. Aware that the Hokage was waiting impatiently for his report, Kakashi sent out the chakra nudge again, this time to Iruka.

The chuunin, with his higher level of training, immediately found Kakashi. He laid a gentle hand on Suyo's shoulder and pointed. When Suyo finally looked up and found him, a tight band around his chest that he hadn't even noticed before this moment loosened. Kakashi held her gaze and laid his hand over his heart. Her brilliant smile showed that she'd gotten the silent message. One more second passed, and Kakashi had to turn away and continue his dash to Hokage Tower again.

Damn, but he hoped this wouldn't take long.


	25. Say It

**A/N: Well, kiddies! I've moved, gotten a new job, and apparently Texas has forgotten it's supposed to be… well, _Texas_… because it's well below freezing here. That must mean hell's officially frozen over and it's time for me to update again! Short, sweet, and I hope you enjoy. We're working up to some seriously bad, bad, _good_ stuff. *_evil laugh_* But for now, a little fluff! **

**Reviews make me a happy panda. Almost as happy as I'd be to own Naruto. Since I can have only one of those things, leave reviews! ^_^**

.

By the time Tsunade finally let Kakashi leave Hokage Tower, the stars were fading almost as fast as his patience. Damn it all, he understood her need for a full report of how the rogue Uchiha had finally been captured, but was it really necessary for her to keep him all night? His shoulder ached, his muscles were all but cramped with the tight control he'd been forced to impose to stop himself from escaping out the nearest window, and his head throbbed with a volatile combination of temper, fatigue, and that damnably vague sense of impending danger he still couldn't pin down.

He was almost out the door when Tsunade suddenly yelled for him… _again._ "Kakashi, your shoulder!" she shouted, and he ground his teeth and seriously considered pretending he hadn't heard her.

But her temper rivaled his own, and was much easier to rouse. "Hai, Hokage-sama," he sighed, turning his back on rest and freedom to trudge back to Tsunade's side.

"Don't use that tone on me, brat," she growled. Weariness rode her voice, too. "I almost forgot that Sakura told me you were wounded. Drop the shirt, let me see it."

"It's fine," Kakashi replied, but he was already obeying. "She already tended it."

"And you made her stop before she was done. Shut up and strip."

Kakashi dropped his flack vest–it hit the floor with a thump more suited to a huge sack of rocks than a garment–and pulled off his uniform shirt. The sleeveless undershirt, however, he didn't completely discard. He slid his left arm from it and pulled it aside so his wound was exposed, but his face wasn't. Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I've seen you."

He shrugged at the confirmation of what he'd always suspected–unconscious patients had no privacy. "Then you have no need to see me again."

She snorted, then turned her too-sharp gaze to his shoulder. "No wonder Sakura was pissed off at you. This isn't a good spot to get stabbed, Kakashi. I expected better from you," she said, prodding the half-healed injury none too gently. He winced, which she ignored as she continued her examination. "Your pectoral muscle is nearly bisected. You'll have to wear a sling for a while until it heals."

He managed not to make a face–barely. He hated things like slings and casts and braces. Like all shinobi, anything that impaired his mobility made him antsy. "Hai, Hokage-sama," he said though, knowing he couldn't argue with her and conceding that it was probably for the best, anyway. He couldn't risk the muscle healing poorly. Weaknesses weren't acceptable.

She continued her examination, occasionally touching the area with chakra, then poking with her fingertips. Finally she seemed satisfied and replaced his bandages. "You'll live," she said unnecessarily, and he again barely succeeded in keeping from rolling his eyes. If he was going to keel over, he'd have done it already. "Just don't do it again."

Kakashi righted his clothes and bit back a sarcastic reply. Did she think he'd done it on purpose? But since healing jutsu hurt–he knew that better than most–and he didn't want to piss her off and tempt her to finish the healing Sakura had started, just to punish him–he didn't comment. He grunted a little when he shrugged the flack vest back on, though. Its considerable weight settling atop the rebandaged wound wasn't exactly pleasant, even though he just slung it over his injured shoulder instead of putting his arm through it again. "Do you require more of me, Godaime-sama?" he asked as she tied a sling around his arm and knotted it behind his neck, sincerely dreading the answer.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "You sound impatient. Am I keeping you from a hot date?"

"Yes."

She laughed even though for once, Kakashi hadn't been kidding. "One of these days you'll stop lying and no one will know what to do with you," she said, and he had to smile. More like he'd stop lying and no one would even _notice_ if this was any indication. "Fine, get out of here. You're on recuperative leave for 72 hours–no missions, no training, and be glad I'm not slapping your ass in the hospital for that shoulder. Go before I change my mind."

"Hai, Hokage-sama, I'm glad for every moment you're not slapping my ass," Kakashi replied, and Body-Flickered away before she could reply.

He didn't go far, though–his chakra was low yet again and he didn't want to waste it. He reappeared only a block away, deciding to cover the remaining distance on foot. God, he wanted to be home so bad he could taste it.

And home was no longer the empty little flat where he'd lived for almost two decades. Home was a woman whose softness and gentle spirit were a balm to what was left of his barren soul.

The sky was definitely lightening with the approach of dawn when he reached Suyo's building. He spared enough chakra to leap up to her landing rather than climbing the stairs. He raised a fist to knock, but before his knuckles could touch the wood, the door swung open to reveal Suyo standing there with Bull by her side.

She looked so good, it almost stole his breath. "Hi," he said, just staring at her, drinking in the fact that she was here, safe, alive and far from Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Kabuto.

Bull barked a happy greeting as Suyo pulled him into a tight hug. "I was getting worried," she whispered against his chest. "I waited up for you, and when you didn't come…"

"Hush, Bull," Kakashi said as his unencumbered arm came around her to hold her tight. The ninken gave him a reproachful look but stopped his ear-splitting barks. "I'm sorry I worried you," he murmured, nudging the door closed behind him and feeling an immense weight fall from his shoulders. Here, he didn't have to be a ninja, didn't have to be perfect and silent and always ready to fight. It was a gift he treasured all the more because he'd never known it was even possible before Suyo. "I had to report to Tsunade-sama, and it took… well, about this long, actually."

She raised her head and ran her hands over him, his bound arm and shoulder, his face and back, before pushing aside his unfastened flack vest and doing the same to his chest. Warmth spilled through his tired body. "I like it when you strip me as soon as I walk through the door," he teased as he let her pull the vest off and drop it.

Suyo blushed but didn't smile. "Naruto said you got hurt. Are you okay?"

Naruto… now he noticed the throbbing chakra barely contained in the spare room. He must be sleeping over again. "That punk. He's not supposed to tell you things like that." The words lacked venom, though. It wasn't the kind of information the teen would've volunteered–Suyo would've had to have asked, and asked persistently, to get Naruto to admit that, and that meant she'd truly worried for him. "Remind me to hit him next time I see him."

Her blush turned into a scowl. "I will not. You're not supposed to get hurt, or did I forget to tell you that?"

"I'm fine, I promise you," he said, and her glare softened a little. "I didn't even feel it when it happened."

That brought the glare back. "Because you were fighting and the adrenaline masked it," she said with perfect accuracy. "Don't lie, Kakashi. You really aren't very good at it."

Kakashi crinkled his eye in his trademark smile. Her concern simply melted him. "Would it help if I begged for your forgiveness?"

Suyo tugged his mask down and Kakashi kissed her before she could scold him again. Her searching hands turned into caresses as he deepened the kiss, drawing her back into his embrace. A long minute passed before he pulled away. "Take me to your bed and I promise to beg very nicely," he whispered, and he savored the shiver his breath on her ear provoked.

Or perhaps it was from what his hand was doing beneath her shirt. After all, the angle offered by the sling was too sweet for him to resist.

She kissed him once more–far too short, in his opinion–and smilingly turned toward her bedroom. He snagged his vest with his free hand as he followed her, though. Now that there was such a tangible threat to her, he wasn't going to let his weapons out of his sight. She didn't seem to notice as she led him to her bedroom and let him collapse gratefully onto her bed.

To his dismay, however, Suyo didn't join him there. "I have to go to work," she said regretfully.

He pushed himself up on his elbow with a frown. "The tea shop doesn't even open until ten," he protested, well aware that a hint of a whine had entered his tone. The thought of holding Suyo close was all that had sustained him during this endless night. "It's barely six now."

"I know," she said, and he belatedly realized that she wasn't wearing a nightgown at all. She was fully dressed in her tunic and pants. "I don't work there anymore."

That got him off the bed entirely despite his tired body's protests. Her tone didn't imply a voluntary change of careers. "What happened?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

Apparently he failed because she shook her head with a little smile. "You don't have to sound so homicidal. Nothing bad happened. Namae-san didn't appreciate having Bull around, that's all, so I found a different job."

A stab of guilt pierced his chest. Kakashi had only wanted to ensure she had protection and company by leaving Bull with her, not cost her her job. He had a feeling there was a little more to it than she was telling, but he'd get Pakkun to find out the rest of the story. He didn't want to upset Suyo by interrogating her. "Where are you working now? What job could possibly require you to abandon me at such an ungodly hour?"

Suyo laughed at him and cupped his cheek in one soft hand. He covered it with his own. "At the Yamanaka flower shop," she told him, and now Kakashi definitely knew there was more to it than Suyo was telling. Yamanaka Inoichi would've recognized Bull, would've known what the ninken's presence at Suyo's side meant, and shinobi protected their own. The flower shop run by the Yamanaka clan was only vaguely concerned with selling flowers, after all.

What happened to make the Yamanakas take Suyo under their protection by giving her a job?

He had every intention of finding out. "I'll come with you."

"No, you won't," she told him firmly, bracing her hands on her hips. "You're exhausted and Bull can come with me again if you're worried, which you shouldn't be. Besides," she added, eyes twinkling as she pushed him firmly back onto the bed, "I want you well rested and energetic by the time I get back."

He gave her a stern look even though he allowed her to make him tumble onto the bed again. "People have lost limbs for doing less than that to me," he growled.

Suyo's stance softened. She leaned over him on the bed, one hand on either side of his head. "I'm not afraid of you," she murmured, holding his grey gaze with her own green eyes, and they were clear and honest. "Now rest. You need it. I'll be back in a few hours, all right?"

Before he could reply, there was a knock at her door. He was off the bed, kunai in hand and Suyo behind him, in a heartbeat. Bull reacted to his quick alertness by bounding to the door and growling with a sound like an avalanche.

Her exasperated sigh met his ears even as he identified the chakra outside the door as Yamanaka Ino's. "God, you two," Suyo sighed, gently slipping past him to answer the door. "Rest," she scolded Kakashi with a glare over her shoulder as she reached for the doorknob and Kakashi tried to make himself relax. After all, if the Sound came for her, they'd hardly knock on the door, especially with his and Naruto's chakra both so clearly present.

Ino's blonde hair and bright smile met her when she opened the door. "Good morning, Suyo-san!" she said cheerfully. "Father sent me over to tell you he's giving you the weekend off. Mother woke up with a ton of ideas for redecorating and there will be no peace until she's had her way."

Kakashi saw Suyo's surprise in the angle of her shoulders, but he wasn't the slightest bit surprised himself. Inoichi definitely knew Suyo was Kakashi's. He'd have to find out more about this later, but the prospect of having Suyo all to himself (after he found a way to get rid of Naruto, which shouldn't be hard–a few snuggles with Suyo ought to drive the teen away, howling in disgust, pretty effectively) for the next 48 of his 72 hours of leave was downright heavenly.

"I'll come in and help–" Suyo was saying, but Ino shook her head.

"Don't worry about it," Ino said, waving the offer away. "Mother's impossible. You'd better let us handle her. Father said don't worry about the hours. He said it wouldn't be fair to penalize you for Mother's insanity, so consider it a paid holiday and enjoy it, okay? Bye!"

Suyo shut the door, shaking her head. She shot a look over her shoulder at Kakashi. "Sure you didn't have anything to do with that?" she asked, suspicion in every line of her body.

He gave her his most innocent look–one of the few times he'd used it and truly _been_ innocent. "Not a thing," he said honestly. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pretty damn happy about it. Now get back over here, woman." This last was accompanied by a definite leer.

Suyo laughed and shook her head, but she crossed the room to his side again. "You'd better watch your tone if you don't want to end up on the couch," she growled, poking him in the chest–but carefully, avoiding his bandages.

He mock-glared at her. "You would dare defy Sharingan no Kakashi?"

She laughed, then looked around the entire room. "Hmm, I don't see Sharingan no Kakashi here," she said. Then those soft green eyes focused on him. "All I see is my Kashi."

And that was it. Kakashi pulled her into his embrace, kicked the door closed, and fell onto the bed with her, ignoring the painful protest of his pectoral muscle at the impact of her atop him. Any pain was far, far outweighed by pleasure. "I will _never_ let you go," he swore, pressing his forehead to hers.

Her hands cupped his face. "So who's asking you to?"

He wasn't sure which one of them moved first, but then her mouth was on his, tongue sweetly teasing, yielding for his exploration, and it didn't matter. One kiss led to the next, increasingly hungry, but when she tried to roll off him, he didn't let her. "Kashi, your shoulder," she protested against his mouth. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Trust me," he whispered. He liked her far too much right where she was to allow any change of position. Then he gave her a wicked look. "Besides, like a civilian like you could ever hurt _me."_

She laughed at him. "What am I going to do with you?" she sighed.

He moved his hand just long enough to whip out a certain orange-covered book. "Oh, you know what to do with me. You're the one who put in the bookmarks."

She blushed crimson and he had to kiss her again. Every time she blushed, he got a twinge just _there,_ below his breastbone–a kind of thrill, a little stab of excitement and fear. Shinobi didn't blush. They were too jaded, too hardened. And he lo… _liked_ that Suyo could be brazen enough to write notes in his x-rated book, and still be soft enough to blush when he called her out on it. "I missed you," he said softly, as close as he could come to saying that other thing.

Her eyes twinkled with mischief. She knew what he meant, he was sure of it. "That's nice."

Oh, so that's how it was going to be. He pulled away just a little. "Say it," he growled, letting his lips brush hers with each word.

"Say what?" she asked, all innocence, and squeaked when he tickled her ribs for it.

He glared a little, well aware that she would never buy it as a threat. "You _know_ what. Say it."

For a moment, he thought she'd torture him some more, but then she just smiled and caressed his face. "I love you."

That thrill came back, stronger this time, making him catch his breath, making his heart race. "Again," he breathed.

"I love you."

Repetition didn't lessen the impact–it still hit him just as hard. "One more time," he murmured, seeing the laughter in her eyes and wanting to hear it, too.

She laughed and rolled her eyes at his silliness, but then cupped his face in her hands and held his gaze. "Hatake Kakashi, I," she kissed him, "love," another kiss, ghostly soft and too brief, "you." One more kiss, a little longer. "You say you'll never let me go?" she whispered against his mouth. "I say you'll never get the chance."

He was terribly afraid then that the smile he felt growing on his face crossed the border to _goofy_ by a considerable degree, but Suyo didn't seem to mind. He rolled with her, trapped her beneath him and flung off the annoying sling. "Your shoulder!" she protested once more, but his shirts followed and her misgivings melted from her eyes as she ran her hands over his bared skin. "Just be careful," she murmured, accepting defeat, as he went to work on her clothes and she surrendered to him entirely.


	26. Hidden Messages

**A/N: It took me so long to update this last time, I figured I'd better do it a bit faster in the future. Does this work for you? ^_^  
**

**To all of you who sent me notes ****basically ****asking, "Why doesn't Kakashi just SAY IT BACK TO HER ALREADY??? Dude, what the crack is his _problem_?" I wanted to clarify that there _is_ an actual reason at work. Come, my children, let us take a field trip back to the original Naruto manga, before Uchiha Sasuke became the stupidfuck asshat we love to hate. Remember when he and Naruto fought atop the hospital and Kakashi arrived just in time to break them up before they killed each other with Chidori and Rasengan? Sasuke runs off like the wimp-ass puss he is and Kakashi tracks him down before he can do anything fatally stupid. When our favorite silvery jounin has Sasuke tied to the tree, trying to talk him off the cliff (so to speak), Sasuke emo-whines, "Waaah you can't possibly understand how I feel! No one can because I'm too special! What if I killed off everyone you've ever loved and see how you like it! _Waaaaah pity me!!!_" Kakashi replies, with a smile, that it's an interesting theory but Sasuke's too late–everyone Kakashi has ever loved is already dead. (Which should've given Sasuke a clue that his life isn't the suckiest of the suck, but oh no, he's too stupid and _special_. But I digress.)**

**Seeing how distantly Kakashi lives his life, even with the people closest to him like his students and fellow jounin, always made me think he sees being loved by him as a death sentence. No way in HELL is he going to say those particular words to anyone _ever_ again, and especially not to Suyo–she's far too important to him for that. He can't even _think_ it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough–he's not being an emotional fuckwit, as my British friend would say–he's been hella traumatized and is now horrifically emotionally constipated. And it would basically take an atomic high colonic to get him moving again.**

**To put it delicately, of course. Heh. And I bet no one can guess how I really feel about Sasucky now. I hide my feelings very well, just like Kakashi. Why are you all laughing?**

… **dammit, I still own nothing but a shitfuckton of bills. That sucks almost as much as Sasuke.**

.

Kakashi awoke to an inhuman howl that could've been anything from rage to pain to God knew what. Almost instantly the bedroom door slammed, but not before the three kunai that had appeared in his hand almost at the speed of thought embedded themselves in the wood and stuck there, quivering.

Naruto didn't appear to notice this most recent near-death experience. "Oh God, I'm blind! I saw Kakashi-sensei's ass! My brain is melting! Ewwwww!" he yelled, and Kakashi flopped back down with a groan.

Definitely _not_ the best way to wake up. "I'm going to kill him," he told Suyo conversationally, only to realize that she was, somehow, still asleep beside him. He shook his head in disbelief as he stroked the long hair back from her face. He couldn't imagine anyone sleeping through such a thing–the whistling hiss of flying weapons would have anyone he knew up and battle-ready in an instant even if Naruto hadn't been screeching fit to wake the dead. "What am I going to do with you?" he whispered as a mixture of fear and affection threatened to choke him.

Truly, he wouldn't change her, but this… it worried him. He didn't want a shinobi–wouldn't have looked twice at Suyo if she'd been one. The peace and acceptance she gave him were so much more important than having someone who could fight by his side. But he didn't like her utterly blind to danger, either.

Memories of just a few hours before were much more pleasant. He'd finally overcome Suyo's concern about his shoulder by tickling and teasing her, kissing everywhere from elbows to earlobe until she was as eager as he was. It wasn't until her second orgasm, however, when she'd forgotten her frequently whispered reminders about being quiet because Naruto was asleep in the next room and cried out his name aloud, that Kakashi finally let himself come. They'd fallen asleep almost immediately thereafter, both of them exhausted and well sated.

But Naruto was still proclaiming his imminent blindness and death by disgust at the top of his voice, and Kakashi knew the teen would wake Suyo up sooner or later if he didn't go out and put a stop to it. He very reluctantly got up, located his pants and undershirt, and pulled up his mask. Pausing only to retrieve his kunai from Suyo's door (and damn, he hoped she wouldn't be too angry about the deep, splintered gouges left behind), he left the sanctuary of her bedroom to confront his current nemesis.

The blond was careening around the living room with both hands clamped firmly over his eyes at the sound of Kakashi emerging from the bedroom. "Oh, gross! So wrong! You'd better have clothes on now!" Naruto peeked between his fingers, ascertained that his sensei was indeed dressed, and pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi as he shut Suyo's door behind him. "How the hell did I see way the fuck more of you than I ever wanted to see and _still_ not see your face? It's not fair! God hates me!"

"It's entirely possible He does. I certainly do," Kakashi growled. "You want to shut up before you wake Suyo, or would you like her to watch me kick your ass, too?"

That brought him to another gagging fit. "Shut up! Don't ever say that word around me again! I never wanted to know you have scars on your _ass_ of all places–"

"Then you shouldn't have looked. Why the hell were you going in there, anyway?" His glare had been known to make S-ranked missing nin lose bladder control and he turned the full force of it on his student now.

Naruto seemed annoying immune to his intimidation as he glared right back, but thankfully he finally quit howling. "You do know it's daytime, right?" the teen said in a more normal volume, rubbing his eyes with both fists as though to erase the mental image of his nude sensei practically wrapped around Suyo. "Decent people keep their clothes on in the daytime. Did they not teach you that or something? God!"

"Decent people? Since when do I make that list?"

Naruto ignored that as he belatedly noticed the kunai in his sensei's hands. "Why are you armed, anyway?"

Kakashi walked into Suyo's kitchen before glancing back over his shoulder at the teen. "Perhaps if you hadn't been so busy making that hideous noise, you would've noticed that you were almost wearing these." He tossed them at Naruto again at the same degree he'd thrown them at Suyo's door, but slower this time to ensure the teen caught them. Bloodstains were difficult to remove from finished wood floors and that wasn't how he wanted to start his day. "Eye. Throat. Groin. Pay closer attention, would you? She'd probably get a little pissed at me if I killed you… although it might be worth it."

The blond made a face as Kakashi cautiously sniffed the coffee Naruto had apparently brewed before his unwelcome intrusion into Suyo's bedroom. Surprisingly, it smelled fairly good. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know you'd miss me," he brushed off the latest death threat. "Seriously, though, can't you even use a blanket or something? Your ass wasn't anything I ever wanted to see, and now I can't unsee it, damn it."

"You know, in some countries there's this quaint little custom called privacy. You might want to look into it." Kakashi shot another lethal glare at his student as he poured a cup of coffee. "You had to know I was in there with her. We've been gone for days; how did you think we'd say hello, with a nice game of shogi?"

Naruto just made a face and didn't comment on his failure to sense his sensei's chakra. "You suck. She was all pure and innocent before you came along. Now she's as pervy as you."

Kakashi laughed aloud at that and remembered the little interlude at the hot spring. Yeah, pure and innocent... didn't exactly describe Suyo. "Keep telling yourself that, kid. I didn't teach her anything she didn't already know. And stop that stupid noise!" he added as Naruto slapped his hands over his ears and renewed his laments about his poor, poor melting brain.

"God, Kakashi, what are you doing to him?"

Suyo's sleepy voice made both shinobi turn around. Kakashi rolled his eye and started to answer, but Naruto beat him to it. "He killed me!" the teen wailed dramatically, flopping down on the couch and holding his head. "He's killed me with hideous brain poison! Aaargh!"

Suyo laughed and Kakashi clarified. "He decided that knocking was optional," he said, then hated himself for giving that away as her smile instantly died. _Her scars… shit. _But she'd been lying in his arms, her back snuggled up to his chest with his back to the door. He wasn't the burliest ninja in Konoha by any means but he was large enough compared to Suyo that she would've been almost totally hidden from Naruto's angle. He was pretty sure Naruto had seen Suyo's scars before–he'd intimated as much during the talk where he'd reluctantly given Kakashi his blessing–but Kakashi knew that Suyo would never willingly show them to anyone but him. Not even Naruto. "He saw more of _me_ than he wanted to," he added quickly, hoping she would get the message.

She visibly steadied herself and nodded, but her smile didn't return. "Naruto, I thought you had better manners. Doors are there for a reason. But I suppose you should be glad you didn't go in there a couple of hours earlier. Your sensei knows some _really_ creative positions and you wouldn't believe his flexibility," she said in a perfectly deadpan voice.

Kakashi inhaled half his coffee in shock. Coughing, choking, and laughing in turns, he turned to see Naruto staring aghast at Suyo. The horrified teen's face went first ghost white, then beet red as he gaped at her in complete and utter shock.

"Good God, Suyo-chan. Now that was just cruel," Naruto said weakly when he got his voice back and Kakashi's laughter died down a little.

"Serves you right for barging into my room," she replied calmly. "Don't do it again or I'll make you look at pictures."

"Oh, no pictures! Please no pictures! I've learned my lesson, I'll never do it again ever, I swear it!" Naruto promised fervently. He fell back onto the couch and curled into a ball. "Think of ramen… sweet, non-pervy ramen… raaaaamennnn…"

"You broke him," Kakashi said, walking to her side and laughing at his student again. "Good job. I'll have to remember that technique."

"It does seem to be effective, doesn't it?" she agreed. She wrapped her arms around him, but before he could lean down to kiss her, she whipped the sling around his arm and tied it deftly around his neck. "And you, Mr. Jabbing-Holes-In-My-Door, forgot _this._ Don't make me come up with a similarly bad punishment for you."

He held up his good hand in a sign of honor. "I promise I'll be a good boy and wear any kind of restraints you tell me," he said, just to get a reaction out of Naruto. Now that Suyo was awake, he found the teen's exaggerated horror at the thought of Suyo being a sexual woman highly amusing.

"You two suck. Really," Naruto groused as he finally managed to sit up and regain his composure. Then he suddenly looked terrified and quickly plugged both ears. "And I don't want to hear any details about how you suck!" he added loudly, and this time Suyo joined Kakashi in laughing at him. "Can we talk about stuff that doesn't make me lose my appetite for a little while now? Please?"

"Oh, all right," Suyo teased, releasing Kakashi and going to give Naruto a kiss on his still-bandaged forehead. "You're forgiven, but you knew better. What do you want for lunch?" she asked, then answered in the same breath as him, "Ramen."

Kakashi sighed silently. He wasn't a fan of it, but like Naruto, he'd eat anything Suyo made and like it. She truly was an amazing cook. His reaction hadn't gone unnoticed, though. She smiled at him and said, "I'll make you something else since I know you don't like it. Here's your chance to place your order–what can I get you?"

He was tempted to answer all sorts of things, but since it unfortunately seemed like they'd called a truce on grossing Naruto out, he just thought of food. "Any chance of miso soup?"

She opened her refrigerator and looked inside. "If Naruto doesn't mind going and getting some miso," she said, and Naruto, eager to earn her approval again, nodded at once.

"I'll go with him," Kakashi volunteered. Suyo looked at him in surprise and he gave her a one-eyed smile. "I won't punish him anymore, I promise. I just need to get something, too."

A minute later, he and Naruto walked down the street toward the market. It only took them a moment to purchase the miso Suyo had requested, but Kakashi didn't lead them back toward her apartment. "So why'd you really want to come along, sensei?" Naruto asked, absently tossing the little jar of miso from one hand to the other. "Did you forget to buy Suyo flowers or something?"

"Actually, yes."

Naruto didn't believe him until he pushed open the door to the Yamanaka Flower Shop–open for business and without a sign of redecorating in progress, not that Kakashi was surprised. Ino waved to them from behind an enormous vase and pile of flowers that nearly covered the entire counter. "Welcome back, guys! What can I do for you?"

"Bakashi-sensei needs some flowers," Naruto answered before Kakashi could even open his mouth "Like last time–I _told_ you those were for him! Kakashi-sensei, back me up–I didn't get those lilies for Sakura-chan. Tell her!"

Kakashi ignored him. "Is Inoichi-san in?"

Ino shook her head, not seeming the least bit surprised to see him. "He was supposed to be off today but they called him in urgently. You've probably got a better idea why than I do. Can I tell you anything?"

"You probably can. I didn't think you were hiring here. What happened at Namae's Tea House?" he asked bluntly.

Ino didn't appear at all surprised by the question. She picked up a carnation and studied it critically before inserting it between two lilies. "Namae's a bastard," she said as she picked up another carnation. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her rudeness in omitting -san. "But he did rather outdo himself."

"Can you be a little more specific?" Kakashi prodded when she didn't immediately go on.

She continued with her arrangement, snipping the ends off each stem before placing them into the vase. "Suyo-san brought Bull in with her when she came to work on Monday," she continued, apparently completely unconcerned with the conversation, but Kakashi knew she was a shameless gossip and was probably taking mental notes on his every reaction. He didn't particularly care if he got the information he wanted, though. "You know that kind of thing isn't a problem in Konoha–otherwise the Inuzuka clan would never get anything done. Kiba and Akamaru were there, even.

"Well, Namae completely overreacted when Suyo-san came in with Bull, even though he just sat at the door and didn't even go that far inside. Got up in her face and demanded she get rid of _that dirty mutt._" Kakashi bit back a growl at that. Bull was many things–huge, vicious, intelligent, fierce, loyal, mind-bogglingly frightening–but he was emphatically _not_ a dirty mutt. Ino picked up another flower, this time a half-opened rose. "Of course Bull wasn't going anywhere–I assume you told him not to, and he's not going to disregard your orders. Like I said, Kiba and Akamaru were there, and Akamaru took offense to what Namae said. Kiba was right behind him. Suyo-san tried to step in and calm things down, but Namae and Kiba were shouting, Akamaru and Bull were barking, and somehow in the middle of it all, Suyo-san got knocked over."

Kakashi closed his eyes and groaned. He almost didn't want to hear what came next.

"Bull went crazy," Ino went on, slotting more flowers into the arrangement. "Father was there and he and a couple other jounin managed to break things up, but it was pretty clear that Suyo-san wouldn't be welcome back there after it all. So we offered her a place here."

Naruto's mouth was open in undisguised shock. "But… but that's crazy!" he finally sputtered. "Like you said, shinobi take their ninken and summons and things everywhere! Why would Namae-teme have such a problem with Bull?"

Ino finally set her knife aside and leaned her elbows on the counter. "Who knows? It didn't make any sense," she said with a shrug. "That's why Father decided she should work here. I don't know what she is to you, Kakashi-sensei–" she grinned and winked, "–but everyone knows you _don't_ lend your ninken out. You must've had a good reason, so we just thought we'd help keep an eye on her, that's all."

Kakashi nodded, his mind spinning. He was hyperaware of her watching him, however, so he reached out and picked up a random bouquet of flowers from one of the containers in front of the register. "I'll take these," he said, mostly to stop the conversation. Not only was Ino one of the busiest gossips in Konoha, she was also in training for the Interrogation Force, and he didn't want to give her any more information than she already had.

She clucked and shook her head. "Not those!" She snatched them off the counter and dropped them right back into the container. "Daffodils mean chivalry and politeness. Yellow is for friendship. Do you really want to send her a message of polite friendship?"

He picked up another one. "These?"

Ino raised an eyebrow and fingered one of the blossoms. "Amaryllis? Well, maybe… they mean poetry, so I suppose…"

Naruto grinned as Kakashi shook his head. He was definitely not the poetic type. He rubbed the back of his neck, utterly at a loss. The Yamanakas could send all sorts of messages with flowers–gods knew what the huge vase Ino was creating meant–but this was kunoichi stuff. He looked at the dizzying array of bouquets before him and considered which one to try next.

His student wasn't much help. "Do you have any pervy flowers?" the teen snickered, only to be smacked across the back of the head.

Ino leaned on the counter, practically oozing nosy glee. "Maybe if you tell me the message you want to send, I can help you choose something?" she suggested.

And that was _not _going to happen. Suyo would be the first and only one to hear anything like that. With a rush of relief, he grabbed a dozen red roses. "These," he said, pushing them toward Ino like a shield. Every idiot knew red roses were for romance.

She deflated a little as she took them. "Oh… all right," she sighed. It was a matter of moments to wrap the bouquet and ring them up, and Kakashi led Naruto out of the shop with the feeling of intense relief and the certainty that Ino would be a natural at Torture and Interrogation.


	27. Better Late Than Never

**A/N: It's been a few chapters since I raved about o0-Constance-0o, my beta. So I'm doing it again now. Have you read her fic, Stupid Mistake? If not, you have no idea of the deliciousness you're missing. Or how about A Question of Taste? Yummy! So she gets the free plug, and a big e-hug for IMing with me and inspiring me to write nearly 3 chapters all at once. You rock. Now go write more on SM _now, _if not sooner. You told me far too little about what's coming and I want to read it NOW. You have your orders, shinobi!**

**And I'll add an Additional Bonus Plug for a great writer called Maerchen Freunde. She's got several great stories so I'd recommend having a stroll through her stories list and reading them all, but if you won't do that, at the very least read Dear Kazekage (in progress and awesome) and Snow Storm (complete and awesome). Make sure you review what you read. I'm telling you, reviews make people write and update faster, and I'm dying to know what happens next in DK. Help me nag her.**

**Now enough about their stories and back to mine. I'm having too much fun with this and love you all for having fun along with me. Thanks for all the reviews! And now I'll shut up now and let you read…**

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Suyo's reaction to the roses was enough to send Naruto back into a fetal position on the couch again. She squealed with pleasure and kissed Kakashi soundly through the mask, then grabbed his arms and spun him around so his back was to the teen. Then, to his shock, she reached up and took hold of the edges of his mask. "Wait," he tried to protest, waving his free hand at Naruto.

She just smiled at him with that wicked little gleam in her eye that he'd come to know meant trouble. "I'm betting his curiosity about your face comes second to not seeing me kiss you," she whispered as she slid the cloth out of the way, and after a long, deep kiss during which Naruto's head never once emerged from beneath a pillow, Kakashi had to admit she was right.

Or at least he would've if his mouth hadn't been otherwise and much more pleasurably occupied.

A long moment later, after helping him right his mask (that had been one hell of a kiss and his hand wasn't entirely steady afterward–he was _never_ coming over without flowers from now on), Suyo retrieved a vase for her roses. "They're beautiful, Kashi," she murmured as she fussed with the blossoms, arranging them just so. Her face literally glowed with happiness. "Thank you."

Naruto's blond head emerged from over the back of the couch. "Please tell me you're done playing kissy-face now."

She laughed. "Yes. For now." Naruto groaned, but he joined them in the kitchen. Suyo hugged him and affectionately ruffled his already messy hair. "You're going to have to build up a greater tolerance."

He made a face. "I'd rather eat vegetables."

Kakashi laughed at him–for Naruto, that was very nearly a fate worse than death. Just then, her clock chimed the hour and Kakashi bit back a groan of his own. "It's noon," he said as he glanced at it and read the time. "We've got to meet Sakura and Sai for training soon, Naruto."

"So be late. I don't get to have Suyo-chan's ramen often enough, and it's not like you ever get to our training sessions on time anyway."

Suyo looked from one to the other. "I thought you were on leave, Kakashi," she said doubtfully. "Are you really supposed to be training?"

"Oh, don't worry, I won't be," he assured her, grinning beneath the mask. "I'll just be putting the rest of them through their paces. Not strenuous at all–for me, anyway."

"Very nice," Naruto grumbled.

Suyo looked at the pot of dashi sitting on the cold stovetop. "You know, I could put together a picnic for everyone," she suggested. "It wouldn't take me long, and dashi's best when the kombu and shitake can soak for a few hours anyway. We could have the ramen and miso this evening after your training is done?"

Naruto was already nodding and looking imploringly at his sensei. Kakashi had to admit it was a good idea. Not only would Naruto love the opportunity to show his beloved friend just how good he was, Kakashi might be able to actually finish the picnic with her this time. The memory of Gai's unwelcome interruption still irked him. "That's a great idea. What can we do to help?" he offered, and Naruto whooped with happiness behind him.

"You can get my picnic basket down from there–" she pointed to a tall cabinet, "–and then both of you can stay out of my way." This last was said with a wink.

After depositing the basket on the counter, Kakashi followed Naruto into the living room. He sank gratefully onto the couch and adjusted the sling–damn thing was driving him crazy. "So when did you get here last night?" Naruto asked as the delicate scent of whatever Suyo was making began to waft through the apartment. "I must've been seriously out, I didn't even hear you come in."

"It wasn't last night, it was this morning." Kakashi yawned beneath the mask, still exhausted. He was very glad he wouldn't be training today because after subtracting the time he'd spent _not_ sleeping in Suyo's bed, he'd actually only managed around three hours of sleep before Naruto's wailing had woken him. Much as it galled him to admit it, Tsunade was right. He truly did need rest and a lot of it. "I was starting to thing Tsunade-sama wouldn't ever let me go. I'm sure she'll have a hundred questions for you, too, since we completed that task in tandem. Have you checked in with her yet?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, but since she'd already talked to you she said she had more important things to do than hear it all again and she'd summon me later for my full report. I gave her the highlights but I want to go over it again, though. Especially since…" He glanced toward Suyo and Kakashi kicked him. "Hey!" he yelped, rubbing his shin. "I didn't say–"

"No classified talk in my living room, please," Suyo called from the kitchen as Kakashi kicked Naruto again. "I'm not a ninja and I'm not deaf either, so don't get me in trouble with things I'm not supposed to know, okay?"

The two shinobi barely heard her. Kakashi flashed a series of subtle gestures at Naruto–scout sign, a way to communicate silently that every shinobi was required to master at the Academy. _She is not to know about those threats,_ he signed, glaring a warning. _Sasuke didn't get to pass a message to anyone so there's no proof she's not safe here, and the Yamanakas are helping now, too. I don't want her worried without cause._

_Of course I wouldn't tell her about what that _teme_ said!_ Naruto's face was indignant. _I'm not completely stupid, you know. I was just going to say especially since the fight was so easy, that's all!_

And with that, Kakashi's danger sense surged. The jinchuuriki was right. Capturing Sasuke _had_ been too easy. Oh, the Uchiha had fought–those jutsu he'd unleashed were serious and could've taken Naruto or Kakashi down if their attention had lapsed for even an instant. But still, Sasuke had escaped from _squads_ of ANBU. He'd almost killed Yamato, a formidable jounin ANBU in his own right, and he'd had Sai, Naruto, and Sakura with him at the time. And from the reports, Sasuke hadn't even been serious about it. So how had Kakashi and Naruto taken him down within minutes, with no backup?

It made no sense. And it bothered him that he'd been too distracted by the threat to Suyo to realize it until Naruto pointed it out.

And that threat brought up another point–Sasuke's suggestion that he'd learned about Suyo's survival from Kakashi's mind. He was better than that, damn it. He hadn't spent years learning and mastering the Sharingan without learning how to guard his own mind so well it had become habit. Suyo had been the furthest thing from his thoughts at that moment–he'd been thinking of the fight to come, not daydreaming about his lover, and he _knew_ his blocks were too good for Sasuke to have dug that deeply through his mind without him realizing it.

Which that could only mean that Sasuke had already known about Suyo.

That she'd survived the ANBU attack. That she'd been allowed to settle in Konoha.

And that both Naruto and Kakashi knew her–and possibly exactly how close they both were to her, since Sasuke had clearly threatened her to throw both him and Naruto off-balance.

The ploy had worked, damn it. But no longer. Kakashi's course of action was now clear, his mind focused at last as he planned his next moves and considered various ways Sasuke could counter him–battle planning had always been his strength. He stood and went back into Suyo's room without another word to Naruto. Once there, he summoned Bull again, and this time he added Pakkun for good measure.

"What's up, boss?" Pakkun asked as the two dogs poofed into the room. "I thought we were on leave for a while."

"Something's going on," he told the ninken softly, not wanting either Naruto or Suyo to hear through the damaged door. "I have to see the Hokage right away. Bull, you stick to Suyo like glue and make sure Naruto stays in the apartment with her. Pakkun, I want you to go to the training grounds and bring Sakura and Sai here. Got it?"

He made the decision to bring in the two shinobi quite consciously, trusting his gut rather than logic for once. If anyone had divided loyalties, it was Sai, but something inside Kakashi refused to believe the ANBU operative would sell Suyo out to the Sound. He'd watched the dark teen eat at her table, had seen her tease genuine smiles out of him–rarely, it was true, but still real.

Suyo simply had the ability to love the unloved, draw in the unwanted and bring the forsaken home. She'd done it with Naruto, and she'd done it with Kakashi. She'd opened her heart to Sai, too. Sai might be stoic, but Kakashi had spent too many years in ANBU not to see through him from the start. And Kakashi refused to believe that Sai didn't see her acceptance as the precious gift it was.

Bull barked once in acknowledgement of his orders, but Pakkun frowned. "I don't get it, boss. The Uchiha brat is under lock and key, and he's the one who knows she's here–and not exactly _where _here_,_ either, just somewhere in Konoha. Why the rush?"

Kakashi finished pulling on his uniform shirt and hitai-ate before answering. "Because I no longer buy Sasuke's story that he got the info about Suyo from me, which means they got it from someone else. We've got a mole in the village," he said flatly as he grudgingly put his arm back in its sling before draping his flack vest over his wounded shoulder. "And I am going to find out who it is." This last was a growl–a warning and a promise.

Suyo looked surprised and disappointed when he came back out in full uniform. "I'm sorry about the picnic," he told her after giving her a quick hug and masked kiss on the mouth. "But I just remembered something I have to do. I sent Pakkun to send Sai and Sakura here instead of you going there, and hopefully I'll be back in time to have that miso soup later, all right?"

"Naruto might eat your share," Suyo said, but the worried look in her eyes negated the teasing words. "Is everything all right?"

He nodded and gave her his one-eyed smile, hoping he wasn't lying. "It will be. I'll make sure of it," he said, and then he turned to Naruto. "Don't eat my soup or I'll have your liver for dinner instead," he said, but he was emphatically signing _stay with her_ at the same time. Naruto nodded, and although he scowled at the exaggerated threat, his sensei read the worry in his blue eyes. And then Kakashi vanished in a swirl of smoke and leaves.

An instant later he was outside Tsunade's door with his fist raised to knock. Only Shizune's sudden appearance at the end of the hall made him pause. "Godaime-sama isn't in, Kakashi-san," she said, clearly surprised to see him. "I thought you were on recuperative leave?"

He lowered his hand and fixed the medic with a fierce gaze. "I am, but this can't wait. Where is she?"

"She's at Torture and Interrogation Headquarters," Shizune said, and Kakashi was moving almost before she'd finished speaking the words. "Kakashi-san, wait! If you tell me what you need, maybe I can–"

"You can't," he interrupted, but with a glance that was as close to apologetic as he could manage. "But tag along if you like. The more the merrier." If his suspicions were right, Tsunade would definitely need Shizune to help coordinate an investigation.

Together they hurried to the T&I Headquarters, Kakashi feeling his lack of sleep and low chakra more than ever now but refusing to slow down. Having Shizune with him opened doors a bit more quickly than they would've without her, and he was grateful he'd run into her at Hokage Tower. Oh, Kakashi would've still been admitted if he'd been insistent enough–he was cleared for classifications of the highest levels and often pretended not to hear the rumors linking his name with words like _the next Hokage–_but being with Tsunade's right hand woman definitely smoothed the path.

They were still stopped at the final door, a triple-barred and chakra locked stone slab that led into T&I's most secure interrogation room. "I'm sorry, Shizune-san, Kakashi-sempai, but no one is permitted to enter," said one of the four ANBU stationed outside the door. Kakashi briefly marveled at that–an entire ANBU squad, just for door guard! They certainly weren't taking any chances with Sasuke. Why didn't that make him feel better? "Godaime-sama's orders."

Kakashi clenched his fists and tried to find some patience. "I have urgent intelligence for Tsunade-sama," he said, but he knew from more years of personal experience than he wanted to recall that it wouldn't do any good. When an ANBU was given an order, that order was carried out. To the letter.

Period.

As expected, none of the ANBU moved to admit them into the interrogation room. "Godaime-sama is personally participating in this interrogation, Kakashi-sempai," the ANBU told him. "She is unavailable until it is concluded. I'm sorry."

He thought briefly. "And Yamanaka Inoichi?" he asked, remembering what Ino had said about him being called away urgently this morning–he should be somewhere in the building, and there was a chance he'd be working on other angles than the interrogation itself.

That was quickly shot down. "Also unavailable."

"Morino Ibiki?" Shizune said, but Kakashi had no hope for that at all. If this was an interrogation worthy of Tsunade's personal attention, the legendary and notorious head of Torture and Interrogation would absolutely be leading it.

"I'm afraid everyone you've named is unavailable."

"The interrogation session is set to finish in twenty minutes," another ANBU said in a similarly emotionless voice as Shizune clearly tried to think of someone else to ask for. "You may wait."

Shizune, clearly unnerved by Kakashi's urgency, gave him a worried look. "Will it wait that long?" she asked as another ANBU unit walked by, escorting a bound prisoner whose face was covered by a black hood.

"I guess it'll have to," he said, and pulled out his book so he could pretend to relax and read while he waited. Instead, though, Suyo's little braid fell out of the book as he opened it and was almost instantly crushed under the heel of one of the passing ANBU guards.

He hoped like hell that wasn't some kind of omen.

.

**A/N: Just for fun, here's how you make dashi, which is a Japanese seaweed-based broth that's used for a lot of things. My boys and I have been experimenting with several kinds of Japanese dishes and for a white girl, I'm getting fairly decent at making them–but good dashi is key. If your dashi sucks, you're doomed. Maybe miso soup could be our next endeavor!**

**Dashi Broth**

**5 cups water**

**5 dried and cleaned shitake mushrooms**

**5 pieces kombu seaweed, each about 1 inch long, cut in thirds crosswise, and cleaned with a slightly damp paper towel or cloth. Whenever possible you should buy high quality dashi-kombu, firm, thick and straight. (Don't get a dirty mind. We're talking about _seaweed,_ you pervs!)**

**Pour the water into a large saucepan, and add the cleaned mushrooms and kombu slices. Soak them for at least 15 minutes if Kakashi is in your living room wanting miso, but 3 hours is better and overnight is best. Then turn the heat on under the pot and bring to a boil, removing the kombu just before it boils. Remove from heat after 5 minutes, scoop out the mushrooms (you can use them in other recipes so don't toss them), and voilà! You have just created your very own dashi broth! It'll keep in the fridge for a few days and you can also freeze it, or if you're like us, you can just make a huge-ass pot of ramen and eat it all as soon as it's made cuz it's hella good. Mmmmmmmmm!**

**Because I know that the thought on everyone's mind at the end of the chapter was, _How do you make dashi?_ *evil grin***


	28. Too Easy?

**A/N: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy I finally get to write this part! You don't know how long I've been wanting to write it… hooray! Yippee! And other noises of happiness, glee, and unrestrained enthusiasm!**

**(Is it just me, or does that totally sound like something Gai would say?)**

**Thanks to everyone for all the reviews–they are truly motivating and I love hearing what you think of the chapters, I really really do. Keep reviewing and I'll keep writing, is it a deal?**

**Disclaimer, blah blah, now on with the show… hee hee hee finally!**

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This was a new torture technique Ibiki had invented. It had to be.

Twenty minutes just _couldn't_ be this long.

Kakashi had retrieved Suyo's smashed braid and tucked it back into his kunai pouch, a little piece of him wanting to chase that ANBU down and beat the hell out of him for stomping on it. Most of him, though, was trying to convince himself that Sasuke had just been having an off day when he and Naruto had captured him.

But he knew better. Sasuke had always been an arrogant little asshole, but not without reason. He'd been damn good even as a new genin. By the time Kakashi had finished training him just before the chuunin exams and his defection, he would've bet anything he owned that the Uchiha would make rank easily–he was better than damn good, he was closing in on amazing. After three years of training with Orochimaru, Sasuke was now a formidable force to be reckoned with. Shinobi of his level just didn't _have _off days.

Every second dragged and he was forcefully reminded of the endless genjutsu torture Itachi had inflicted on him. Finally, _finally,_ the stone slab grated into motion and slid aside to allow Tsunade, Morino Ibiki, and Yamanaka Inoichi to exit. Kakashi stashed his book with relief that he was finally going to get to share his information with people who could act on it. Before that could happen, though, the rest of the room cleared. Two more ANBU squads followed the three interrogators out, six masked warriors surrounding the other two who were supporting the limp and battered Uchiha Sasuke.

No, Kakashi realized, that wasn't right. Not battered. There wasn't so much as a scratch on him. Morino Ibiki's torture techniques were far too refined for him to need such crude tactics as physical pain. But the impression of someone who'd just had the hell beaten out of him remained nonetheless, and Kakashi couldn't honestly say he had much sympathy as the ANBU dragged Sasuke back to whatever dark and isolated cell he was currently calling home.

Tsunade's eyebrows rose to see them waiting for her in the hall, and she didn't look happy to see Kakashi. "I know you're not accustomed to taking leave, Kakashi, but there are dictionaries lying around where you can look up the meaning of the word," she said, crossing her arms and drumming her fingers on her elbow. That posture was never a good sign "And five hours isn't quite the same as seventy-two. Should I put you in the hospital to make sure you rest?"

"No, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said, barely managing to keep the impatience from his tone. Did she honestly think he hadn't noticed that he was bone-tired? "There's a problem. This–" he waved down the hall where Sasuke and his ANBU guards had vanished, "–was too easy."

She frowned. "Naruto said the same thing," she grudgingly admitted. "But while I understand your concern, I'm not convinced that it even matters. He's in custody and that's the goal, isn't it? Now I'm very busy between this mess and tightening security for the Kazekage's visit, so if you don't mind–"

Kakashi stepped forward, determined to correct her. "He _let us _catch him. Aren't you even the slightest bit curious why?" He spoke more forcefully this time, determined to make his point. He looked past her and met Ibiki's eye. "Where's the sword?"

Ibiki held his gaze for a moment, then went back into the interrogation room. He returned with Sasuke's sheathed Kusanagi sword and handed it to Kakashi.

Who immediately slung the sheath off and thrust the blade at Ibiki in one smooth arc that would cut him in half if it connected.

The scarred tokubetsu jounin pulled a kunai, the movement as fast and unconscious as the blink of an eye. Tsunade shouted, "What the hell are you doing? That sword can't be bloc–"

The ringing of metal on metal echoed down the hallway as Ibiki easily parried Kakashi's attack. "Can't be blocked," Tsunade finished, but now her voice was lower, her quick anger banished just as swiftly and her eyes widening with realization. "It's a fake."

"He gave it up too easily," Kakashi said as he dropped the useless sword on the ground. Much as he hated to disparage his own skills, he knew he hadn't truly surprised Sasuke with those chakra-wire enhanced shuriken–not when he'd taken the sword, and not when he'd trapped him. Sasuke had seen that maneuver before and he just didn't make those kinds of mistakes. "He fought beside me for years. He knows many of my attacks. I didn't outsmart him and take this from him. He gave us a little fight to make it believable and let us take him."

"What's he after?" Ibiki asked, stashing his kunai and apparently completely unphased by Kakashi's attack with the supposedly unblockable sword. "We couldn't get a damn thing out of him."

Kakashi's voice was grim when he answered. "The woman Naruto rescued from their prison camp two years ago. Kimura Suyo." He met Tsunade's gaze and knew she was remembering the same thing he was–the experiments, the torture, the strange things that had been done to the Junyato villagers. "She's the only survivor from it. They want her back–Sasuke mentioned her just before we attacked him. He tried to convince me that he learned about her from me, but I don't buy it. He's got too much information. There has to be a spy in the village."

"Dispatch an ANBU squad to Kimura's home," Tsunade snapped to Shizune. "Have them bring her in for protective custody. Now!"

Shizune sprinted down the hall, but Kakashi was already shaking his head. "Let Naruto bring her in. He's already there and can get her moving faster," he said, feeling sick at the thought of how terrified she'd be by the arrival of four masked assassins showing up at her door. "She'll come more easily if someone she trusts asks rather than four ANBU coming to take her by force. If the Sound are planning an attack, speed is crucial–"

As if to prove him right, suddenly an explosion rocked the building, throwing them against the wall. Kakashi hit on his injured shoulder and couldn't hold back a groan. An instant later, another explosion threw them the other way, making him ram into Tsunade's chest–a softer landing to be sure, but one more likely to get him pummeled. "Go!" Ibiki yelled to the four-man ANBU squad by the door, and ran after them toward the place Sasuke had been taken as Kakashi quickly caught his balance and removed himself from his Hokage's impressive breasts. Fuck the ANBU squad–he was going to get Suyo himself!

"Oh no you don't. Not you," Tsunade snarled when Kakashi started to follow Shizune. He would've ignored Tsunade's order if she hadn't managed to snag a firm grip on his hair. "Get your ass over here and stand still. You're in no shape to fight yet."

_What the hell–_another explosion shattered glass in hallways above them, and this time he was certain it had come from _outside _T&I's building. Surely she wasn't going to try to keep him out of this! But before he could voice his protest, Tsunade slapped one green-glowing hand over his wound and he winced at the sizzle of muscle and tendon knitting beneath her hand. "I need you in fighting shape and you're not," she said baldly as she frowned in concentration over the injury. "The Kazekage is arriving today and I can't have Sasuke tearing Konoha apart when he gets here. This will help your shoulder, but it won't be at one hundred percent so be careful you don't rip it back open. And for God's sake eat a food pill or something–did you not sleep at all? You don't have any chakra left!"

"I slept," he snapped, refusing to regret the hour he'd spent in bed not sleeping. "I have chakra."

He still dug out a food pill, though. This was one battle he had no intention of losing.

The Hokage snorted, clearly not believing him, but he was losing patience. The burn of healing was abating and that meant it was almost finished. "We don't have time for this," he said as more bangs and now screams were heard. Everything in him demanded that he get to Suyo to protect her, and this delay was almost more than he could take. At least Naruto and Bull were with her, and Pakkun should have been able to get Sai and Sakura to the apartment too, but it wasn't good enough. Kakashi _needed_ to be there. "It's enough, it's fine. We don't have time for this!"

She growled but finally let the green glow fade and pulled off his sling. "Fine. Don't blame me if you open it back up. Now go kick Sasuke's punk ass for real this time, will you?"

He nodded as he put his previously injured arm back through the arm hole of his flack vest and zipped it, then shoved his hitai-ate up to bare his Sharingan. He swung his arm around once to test his range of motion, found it nearly back to what he was used to, and smiled grimly. "My pleasure," he said, and then he sprinted toward the center of the chaos.

All the times he'd struggled for the right words to tell Suyo what he felt, hated that he couldn't chase her demons away… that helplessness was gone. Now she needed exactly what he could do better than almost anyone else. He felt the Hound straining against the bonds he'd placed on the bloodthirsty persona at the back of his mind, and loosened its chain. Time to make good on all those promises he'd given her and lay her enemies' heads at her feet.

He could hardly wait.

Kakashi barely registered the explosions wrecking Konoha's west gate as he leapt over the rooftops toward Suyo's apartment building. He was too busy taking mental inventory of what he had in his flack vest, trying to plan how he'd defend her in the apartment, how he'd keep her safe in the open, where he'd take her and how they'd get there, how to deploy his team if they'd arrived, where he'd position Naruto if the teen was the only one with her.

He would get only one shot at this, and if his genius brain was worth anything, he would make damn sure he got it _right._

Planning, however, didn't mean he was distracted, so when the Phoenix Fireball shot his way, it was nothing to adjust his leap to avoid it. Cursing the delay, Kakashi landed on the next roof and stared down at Uchiha Sasuke in the street below him without any surprise at all. "You missed," he said mildly even though every nerve was chaffing at the delay. _Don't use the Sharingan yet,_ he thought, making sure not to directly meet Sasuke's red eyes. _Wait… conserve chakra and wait for the opportune moment_. "I thought I taught you better."

"Oh, you did, sensei." Sasuke loaded the title with a wealth of sarcasm. "That's why I missed. I thought perhaps you'd like to chat a while, rest that arm a bit before we get down to business. How's Naruto doing?"

Kakashi tamped down the surge of anger at the casual way Sasuke said that name. He'd had more practice in controlling his temper than the Uchiha. No way in hell would he be baited into any more mistakes by this little punk. "Oh, the same. Still more friend than you deserve and willing to do anything to save you from being used. How is being Orochimaru's bitch suiting you?"

Sasuke snorted in derision. "That snake was never using me. I used him. And now that I'm done with him, I disposed of him. Did you really expect otherwise?"

Hmm, well, now that was an interesting piece of information. Kakashi idly fired off a Water Prison jutsu, just for old times' sake, as he dodged a new spate of Phoenix Flowers. The Uchiha evaded the globe of water and he'd expected nothing less. They were just sparring now. The serious fight hadn't yet begun. "And did you get the power you were looking for?" Kakashi asked as though they weren't dancing on the edge of a fight to the death. "Was it worth the price you paid for it?"

Sasuke's red eyes hardened, ageing his still-young face into something horrible. Someone that young shouldn't have so much hate, but Kakashi supposed he could understand. He hadn't been that different at Sasuke's age–only he'd used his hate to protect Konoha, not destroy it. "Was it worth it? Yes, when I kill Itachi," Sasuke answered with deceptive calm. "Did I get enough power? Come down here and find out."

He wanted to. Oh, Kakashi wanted to wipe the self-satisfied smirk off his former student's face so bad he could taste it. But he had something more important to do. "Maybe we can play another time," he said with an eye-crinkling smile. Then he capped the insult with a deliberate choice of words guaranteed to make Sasuke's blood boil. "I'm not interested in you right now."

The dark teen blocked his path with a pair of exploding tags that demolished the roof beneath Kakashi's feet and made him jump back, exactly the opposite direction from the one he wanted. The fury on his face let Kakashi know that quoting Itachi's condescending dismissal had definitely hit home. "Well, I'll see if I can make it this good enough to interest even the great Sharingan no Kakashi," Sasuke snarled, sneering the name as though it were an insult.

Damn it, he really did _not _want to get caught up in a prolonged battle with Sasuke right now–he wanted to get to Suyo and make sure she was safe! Kakashi thought about Body-Flickering away, but almost instantly decided against it. He'd taught Sasuke how to trace that jutsu himself. The last thing he wanted was to lead the rogue Uchiha straight to Suyo. There was nothing for it–he couldn't distract and he couldn't evade, so he'd have to fight. He sighed with mock-boredom and silently prayed that his team and ninken could hold out until the ANBU squad arrived to take custody of Suyo. "Fine, if you insist. Shall we begin? I don't have much time to waste on you."

Sasuke didn't need a second invitation. With a loud shout, he performed an all-too-familiar series of chakra seals and charged. "_Chidori!"_

_Damn it!_ Kakashi had no choice but to open his Sharingan now, which was clearly just what Sasuke was hoping for. The jutsu was such a quick attack that Kakashi would need to use the Sharingan to dodge it, and Sasuke was counting on that. He knew that Kakashi's chakra had been greatly depleted in that ambush. The little bastard was _trying_ to make him use up what little chakra he had left.

Well, he might have to use the Sharingan when he didn't want to, but Kakashi would do it on his own terms. He waited until the last possible moment to open his eye and leap out of Sasuke's path, then closed it again as soon as he was out of immediate danger. Despite the strength gained from that food pill, every second he didn't have to burn chakra was worth the risk. "Missed again," he said mildly as he touched down lightly atop a power pole. Sasuke's temper had never been as much of a weakness as Naruto's had been, but Kakashi still tried to infuriate him. "Come on, I haven't got all day. If you're going to hit me, get on with it. I really am busy."

Sasuke's red eyes blazed with fury. "So smug, Kakashi with his stolen Sharingan and his stolen jutsus," he hissed in reply, one hand still blazing with blue chakra lightning. "It's pitiful that you haven't come up with more on your own, but it takes less skill to copy, doesn't it?"

"Spoken like a true novice in the art of Sharingan," Kakashi shot back, needling again and knowing this one would hit its mark–compared to Kakashi, a shinobi who wasn't even an Uchiha, Sasuke's skill with his own bloodline limit didn't even come close. He read Sasuke's seals as he prepared to shoot a Grand Fireball at his former sensei, but Kakashi's hands were a blur as he sped through a series of seals and finished well before Sasuke. "Children really shouldn't play with fire. _Water Style, Water Encampment Wall!"_

He exhaled sharply, blowing a huge stream of water that encircled Sasuke and neatly extinguished the emerging Giant Fireball before it could do any damage. Accomplishing this jutsu without an immediately available water source was nearly impossible, but Sasuke was about to learn what numerous shinobi before him had discovered to their peril–Kakashi had never been merely a cheap imitator of jutsus. His hands were already flying through another pattern of seals, loosing his next jutsu nearly simultaneously. _"Earth Style, Suicide Technique!"_ The ground beneath Sasuke vanished like air, only to reform almost instantly beneath him–the Uchiha was now sunk to the knees in ground as unyielding as concrete.

But Kakashi wasn't quite done yet. The third jutsu's seals were completed as soon as the final word of the Earth style jutsu left his lips, and he shouted it without pausing for breath. _"Lightning Style, Lightning Hound!"_

A flickering, electric version of Bull leapt from his hand and dove into the watery prison surrounding the trapped Uchiha. Instantly the entire area was electrified. Kakashi leapt into the air to ensure that the water trail from himself to the Water Encampment Wall didn't inadvertently cause him to be electrocuted, too.

When the steam cleared, Sasuke stood in the middle of a great mud puddle surrounded by the rubble of the buildings Kakashi's jutsus had destroyed. His clothes were a bit scorched but he wasn't incapacitated, nor were his legs trapped in the ground any longer. "Three chakra styles and three techniques in less than five seconds," the Uchiha murmured, his nearly-black eyes narrowed. "I'm almost impressed."

"You mean four," Kakashi informed him an instant before his latest original jutsu, a vicious Fire Style Flame Boomerang, slammed into the back of Sasuke's head and engulfed him in white-hot flames. "I hope you don't mind me improving on another of your family trademark techniques."

Unfortunately, he feared that Sasuke missed that last comment–he was too busy trying to beat out the flames while dodging the fistful of kunai and shuriken Kakashi flung his way to really listen properly. Kakashi didn't have time to follow up, though. Another explosion blasted through the village at the same moment that Mara Shikamaru and his father, Shikaku, arrived on the scene, followed closely by Akimichi Choji.

Relief swamped him at the sight of them and he gratefully took the opportunity to get out of this unwanted fight. "Take him!" he shouted at them, and as the rumble of the Akimichi signature Enlargement Jutsu echoed through the chaos, he sped out of the destruction he'd created without looking back.


	29. Red

**A/N: Did you give up on me? C'mon, I know at least some of you did. Well, those of you who kept the faith, thank you! I can hardly believe how long it's been since I last updated-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me. If it ain't one thing, it's another, but I am NOT EVER going to abandon this story. Truly. I'm not! And updates will come more rapidly in the future, because months is WAY too long, am I right? Of course I am.**

**As always, millions and squillions of thanks go out to o0-Constance-0o and Maerchen Freunde because they are deeply awesome and fantastic and other synonyms of all goodness. As are you all! Now on with the show...  
**

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Kakashi arrived at Suyo's apartment barely a handful of seconds later, but his prayers that he would get to her before ANBU or the Sound did clearly weren't going to be answered today. His heart stopped when he saw the top floor of her building engulfed in flames. Broken glass and masonry littered the street below, which was filled with fighting ninja. The silver body armor and white masks of Leaf ANBU warriors mixed with the all-black uniforms of Sound jounin as they clashed in an all-out melee. Blood flew, red droplets arcing through the air and painting skin and walls and earth with gore. Sunlight flashed off spinning shuriken and kunai. Shouted jutsus, groans of pain, screams from the villagers who hadn't managed to flee, roaring flames and howling summons and explosions and ringing blades and… utter chaos had overtaken this place which had always been _peace_ to Kakashi. Sick with dread and rage, he wanted to scream out a denial of it.

But all hope wasn't lost, because everywhere, leaping and kicking and flinging Rasengan and punches and kunai with equal abandon, were the orange flashes of what seemed like a thousand Naruto clones.

And if Naruto was still fighting, Suyo still might be all right.

Kakashi was forced to come to a stop atop the building across from Suyo's, in almost the same half-hidden alcove from which he'd first watched her host Naruto for dinner, even though every instinct screamed for him to _hurry, hurry!_ He had to make himself pause, though, because even though he saw Naruto everywhere, he didn't see Suyo anywhere.

And he'd be damned if he was going to dive into this battle before he saw his woman.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Kakashi barely managed to check his instinctive counter-attack when he realized it belonged to an ally, not an enemy. "She's not here," Maito Gai said in a tense voice that bore no resemblance to his usual comic pronouncements. "This is a diversion. Come on, I'll show you where Naruto has her."

Never had Kakashi been happier to see that green spandex. He didn't bother asking questions. He just gave a curt nod and leapt after the other jounin as they left the cacophony of the battle behind.

Only once they were underway did Kakashi speak the question searing his heart and mind. "Is she all right?"

Gai didn't slow down. "Lee didn't say that she was injured," he replied over his shoulder. "Let's hope nothing has changed in the time it took me to find you."

The lack of solid reassurance sent adrenaline racing through Kakashi's veins. Only the need to follow Gai kept Kakashi from pushing his body to the limits of his speed. Instead, he growled, "Can't you go any faster?"

Instead of speeding up, Gai slammed on the brakes. Kakashi barely avoided colliding into the spandex back–hitting the Green Beast's muscular form would've been like crashing into solid granite. Gai's raised hand cut off the protest Kakashi was about to voice. "Things have changed," he hissed as he crouched behind the chimney overlooking the little square below.

Kakashi mimicked the crouch and slid soundlessly to the other side of the chimney to look down at the scene beneath them. His blood turned to ice in his veins at the sight of Kabuto in the center of a ring of fighting black-clad Sound jounin. Suyo's long braid was twisted tightly around his fist as he held her captive on her knees at his feet. Seeing her pale face and wide, panicked eyes hurt Kakashi far worse than any battle wound he'd ever suffered. The bruises marring her cheek and eye kindled a bloodlust more intense than anything he'd ever experienced even in his darkest years as the Hound.

That bloodlust would be sated. He vowed it silently. He would have every one of the Sound bastards' heads for this, would make them scream a thousand times for every second of fear they'd given Suyo. Kakashi did not forgive, and the Hound did not know how to lose.

But now was not the time for those thoughts. Forcing his gaze from Suyo, away from the sight of her fear and desperate need, he made himself take in all the details of the fight below–three Konoha ANBU against seven Sound nin, with Kabuto contributing kunai and fireballs to the chaotic mass-battle. Bull had a Sound jounin down and was mauling him fiercely, blood flying and snarls ripping from his massive throat. Kakashi itched to join his ninken and start busting some skulls himself.

But he didn't dare until Suyo was away from the insane Kabuto and the blue-chakra scalpel jutsu currently glowing around his free hand.

Gai switched to the silent hand-signals of scout kanji. _We can't give away our position until she's clear,_ he signed to Kakashi, and he pointed out Naruto, Sai, and Lee holding similarly hidden positions on the sidelines for the same reason. No one wanted Kabuto to kill his hostage, nor to harm her themselves by catching her in the crossfire. _He'll see any signal we send to them, but they will join us when we move__. __How do you want to proce__e__d?_

This was the way he and Gai had always worked together in the past, Gai providing the muscle and the tactically brilliant Copy-Nin coming up with the plan of attack. Kakashi was trying hard to come up with that plan as he mentally inventoried what he had to work with. The environment offered little that might aid them besides clay roof tiles–all but useless against trained shinobi. Weapons–ten kunai, a handful of shuriken, three flash-bombs, half a dozen paper bombs, two coils of chakra wire. Allies–the only one he could fully count on was Gai, since the ANBU were outnumbered and had their hands full and he had no way to contact the younger ninjas below without giving away their positions. Chakra level–low, too damn low, and he was down to his last two food pills. He palmed them both and swallowed them down without a moment's hesitation. Taking three food pills in such a short time frame was dangerous enough to be borderline suicidal, but Suyo needed him at full strength. He didn't give a damn about the danger of overdose so long as he didn't keel over in the next fifteen minutes.

He still hadn't formulated a strategy when Suyo started to struggle against Kabuto's hold, which was the last thing Kakashi wanted her to do. _Stop!_ he thought desperately, wishing he could shout it at her. _Be still, don't make him hurt you!_

Again, his prayers weren't answered. Gai growled as Kabuto slapped Suyo sharply and her head snapped back. She didn't stop, though, and retaliated by kicking at his legs, clearly hoping to trip him and give the Konoha shinobi an advantage, however slight.

She never had a chance. In a movement faster than the blink of an eye, Kabuto easily avoided her tripping foot as his hand dipped into his kunai pouch and, with a flick of his wrist that was almost casual, flung three kunai deep into her leg.

"I need you alive, but not well," Kabuto said calmly as Suyo screamed in agony–she was no shinobi, wasn't hardened to such wounds. Kakashi's vision literally went red at the sight of her tears and the cold steel blades sunk deeply into her flesh. "You'd do well to remember that. Now sit there like a good girl and you won't get hurt any worse… for now."

And then a plan came to Kakashi, a desperate plan. _Red vision–the Sharingan!_ He'd never used the visual jutsu this way before, had never heard of anyone else attempting this, but there was no other option. After all, was this really so different from feeding his intentions to Momochi Zabuza? Focusing his chakra, he aimed it at Suyo and jabbed her mind–no gentle prod this time, but a hard shove.

Even from this distance, he saw her eyes widen as she sensed his chakra. She scanned the rooftops for him, their old game now deadly serious. He kept sending the silent chakra signal to her, guiding her search for him, and eternal seconds later, their gazes finally locked.

Green to gray–terrified emerald to swirling blood-red.

The connection was immediate and felt like a fist of terror knotting in his gut. Kakashi pushed her fear away and concentrated on the image he wanted her to see. It was hard, though, so damned hard to block out her tears, to force himself not to hear her sobs, to push aside her panic, to be a shinobi now when faced with the raw suffering of the woman who had looked past the ninja to love the man no one else had ever seen. He made himself succeed because there was no other choice. She had shown him there was more to him than the emotionless shinobi, and he had reveled in shedding that persona with her, but now that very persona was what she needed. Fists clenched, fingernails digging deeply into his palms with the force of his concentration, Kakashi built the image he needed her to see and _shoved_ it into her mind.

_Suyo sat absolutely still beside Kabuto, not fighting, doing _nothing_ to attract the Sound jounin's attention to her. Kakashi and Gai were here and more Konoha shinobi were on their way. She stayed where she was, calm, waiting, and not fighting!_

But another image overrode this one, and Kakashi didn't know if Suyo had received his carefully constructed message or not. The one thing he was sure of was that this image came from the deepest realm of her soul. Even if she had heard him, Kakashi knew at once that Suyo couldn't have resisted this imperative no matter how hard she tried. Her thoughts seared him and momentarily froze his heart with dread.

_Suyo sat within the circle of his arms, the scent of her tears in the air as her hollow voice laid bare the horrors of her captivity at the Sound outpost. "I had always told myself that I would fight them if I ever got the chance. I didn't care if I died if I could just hurt them back, hurt them for what they did to Tadao and Ichirou…"_

And Kakashi realized two things at once–firstly that Suyo was not going to wait and be still, that she _couldn't_ be still, not when the man who'd murdered her husband and son was within striking distance.

And that she'd slowly pulled one of the kunai from her leg, so stealthily that neither Kakashi nor Kabuto had noticed it, and now held the blade ready in her hand. She'd concealed the movements in the shaking of her sobs, and Kabuto, discounting her as merely a civilian, had never considered that his cruelty had given her three weapons to use against him.

Two crystal tears fell from her eyes as she gave Kakashi one more thought. _I love you_.

Those words he'd always treasured now sliced him to the soul, because he knew that this time they meant _goodbye._

_Suyo, NO!_ Kakashi mentally screamed at her, but she'd already pulled her gaze away from his and there was only one thing he could do.

And then everything seemed to happen at once.

"GO!" he shouted to Gai as he flung a shuriken with lightning speed, severing Suyo's braid an inch from Kabuto's hand. His shout and the spinning shuriken distracted Kabuto in the same instant that Suyo struck. Her hand slipped a little on her own blood coating the kunai, but she still managed to slash open the jounin's thigh nearly to the bone as she put all her suffering and fear and anguish and loss into that one strike.

Naruto, Lee, and Sai leapt forward too, reacting to Kakashi's shout and Suyo's attack. Kabuto, roaring with fury, punched Suyo in the face with the fist still holding her severed braid. In his rage at sustaining such an injury–from a civilian, no less!–Kabuto had charged that punch with chakra and she went flying across the square, straight at the stone wall.

Kakashi's hands were already flying through the Body-Flicker jutsu and he appeared there just in time to catch her and put her behind him, safely between his body and the wall.

But there was no time to check her wounds, no time to even see if she was conscious. Gai, Naruto, Lee, and Sai were on the other side of the battle and in this moment, Kakashi stood alone in the midst of Sound fighters. Both hands now holding kunai of his own, chakra surging though him as the food pills kicked in, his mismatched eyes promised Kabuto's agonizing death.

Because the shinobi blocking Suyo from the Sound leader was no longer Hatake Kakashi. It was the ANBU Hound who now faced the renegade jounin, a ravening beast fully off its chain and howling for death and blood. The snarl which ripped from the Hound's lips bore little resemblance to human speech, but Kabuto understood the words perfectly.

"Come get some, motherfucker."


	30. No Time

**A/N: Look, it hasn't even been a whole month this time! I'm getting better, just like I promised. Who's proud of me? Let's see a show of hands! _*crickets*_ Sheesh, fine, be that way. I'm proud of me, at least!**

**I hereby claim that I have disclaimed the disclaimer. Now I present to you all the Fight for the Ages, Kabuto vs. Kakashi! Let's get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!**

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Kabuto lowered his hood to reveal his face–half human, half snake, that twisted monstrosity of a mouth now wearing a wicked grin. Of all the reactions that had been given by those unfortunate enough to receive the full force of the Hound's hatred, this smile was definitely a first. It brought a snarl from his lips.

"So, I see my informant was right," Kabuto said, still in that same casual voice he'd used when telling Suyo he needed her alive, but not well. His words held a definite hiss now from the incorporation of Orochimaru's snake DNA. "My little lab rat has indeed snared herself a lover. Tell me, great Sharingan no Kakashi, Ninja of a Thousand Jutsus–" he sneered the titles, "do you really think she singled you out for any reason other than your protection?"

Far from instilling doubt in his mind as to Suyo's motivation in being with him, hearing Kabuto call her a _lab rat_ only cranked the rage simmering inside the Hound up another notch. Nothing Kabuto could say or do would ever make Kakashi doubt Suyo's feelings. He'd never had much patience with talk at the best of times, and right now was far from that. All he wanted was to shut that mouth. Without replying, his hands flew through the seals, far faster than any eye but a Sharingan could track, and blinding chakra lightning ripped through the air straight at Kabuto's black heart.

The rogue jounin was too fast for that. With the quickness of a serpent, he leapt out of the way, also dodging the Phoenix Fireballs that followed in the lightning's wake. He came to a stop perched vertically on a wall before firing off a jutsu of his own. A dozen snakes, each at least fifteen feet long and as large as a grown man's thigh, shot from beneath Kabuto's sleeves and slithered with lightning speed to the nearest Konoha shinobi. They engaged these new foes at once.

Two of the serpents rushed straight for Kakashi. He bared his teeth beneath the mask and waited, forcing his feet not to move so he wouldn't expose Suyo to the danger. Only when the first snake reared up in preparation to strike did he slash out with his kunai.

Normally, even Kakashi's superhuman speed wouldn't have been enough to intercept the striking snake–no human was that fast. But the Hound wasn't bound by human limitations. It recognized no limitations at all. The Hound knew only that this snake had to die, and in order to accomplish that, his hands had to be faster than its fangs. And the Hound made that happen.

The snake's head thumped to the ground, poison dripping from bared fangs, before the rest of its body even knew it was dead.

The second snake didn't hesitate at the sight of its death. Coiling its muscular body tightly beneath it, it leapt into the air, flinging its heavy, deadly length over the convulsing body of its companion and flying at his masked face. The Hound caught it in mid-air and ignored the thick coils wrapping around his arm as he wrung and squeezed it in his fists. The snake spat poison, thick streams of stinging death squirting at his open eyes, but he merely jerked his head to the side without losing his focus. Squirming, thrashing, constricting around his forearm and bicep until he couldn't feel his hand, the serpent fought for its life as the Hound snarled and throttled and twisted.

A loud _crack!_ told him he'd succeeded in breaking the foul thing's neck. The thick body went limp, releasing its crushing grip on his arm, and Kakashi flung it aside. "Suyo?" he growled, remembering the poison that had rushed past his head. Speech was hard–all he wanted to do was howl and snarl–but he forced these words out, needing this reassurance. "All right?"

"Y–yes." Her voice trembled, though, and she sounded anything but all right.

Still, she'd spoken, and that meant she was conscious. And her voice had come from behind his shoulder, not at ground level, so that meant she could at least stand. He started another series of chakra seals, still never taking his eyes off Kabuto, who was likewise in the midst of another jutsu. "When Naruto gets close, run to him," he commanded. He didn't wait for her to reply before firing off his jutsu, capturing four of the remaining snakes in one Water Prison globe while Kabuto neatly sidestepped another.

More serpents flowed from the Sound jounin's hands, easily replacing those that had been captured or killed. "I'm getting bored. Why don't you come over here and give me a real fight, Kakashi-san?" Kabuto mocked, knowing that he would never leave Suyo unprotected. "You'll never catch me with those weak jutsus. Come on, come and get me!"

But it was Naruto who reached Kabuto first, roaring with rage and wielding a Giant Rasengan that the snakelike jounin barely dodged in time. "I'll kill you!" the teen shouted as he spun in the air to land, catlike, atop a roof for a mere instant before diving back at Kabuto. "You should kill yourself now and avoid the pain!"

Kabuto laughed–actually laughed!–and that brought out Naruto's own beast. His blue eyes shifted to the red, glowing glare of the Demon Fox. Fingernails lengthened into claws and his bared teeth became razor-sharp fangs. He brought those clawed hands together in a familiar sign. _"Shadow clone jutsu!"_

Fifty Naruto clones, each with demon red eyes, converged on the scene. Kabuto responded with a jutsu of his own, one the Hound hadn't seen before. A swirling black _something_ appeared beside Kabuto, something like the tear in reality which was created when he used his own Mangekyo Sharingan, and suddenly twenty new Sound ninjas rushed out of it–now Kakashi knew how so many Sound nin had infiltrated Konoha's walls. Naruto's clones engaged them without hesitation, but despite the overwhelming number of orange-clad ninjas, it clearly wasn't going well.

Unlike Naruto, who had to strike to kill, these Sound nin obviously knew they had only to injure the clones to banish them from the fight. Naruto called up more clones to replace those lost, but the _poofs_ and clouds of smoke created by vanquished clones merely served to further confuse the scene.

Luckily, ANBU reinforcements arrived only moments later. Kakashi recognized Lion and Badger landing only a few yards away–two shinobi he'd fought beside, two shinobi he trusted, fierce warriors who would fight until their last breaths and beyond. He reached back and found Suyo's arm, pulled her from behind him and turned her to face the pair. "Run to them!" he ordered, knowing he couldn't keep her safe in this confusion much longer. Being forced to remain stationary to protect her severely limited his options for attacking Kabuto, kept him firmly on the defensive. And the Hound wanted,_ needed_ to attack. "Go!"

But Suyo didn't move. Her body was rigid in his grasp, her breath coming in short pants. Kabuto saw her and shot toward them, both hands glowing blue with the scalpel jutsu. Kakashi shoved Suyo to the ground just in time to avoid taking a direct hit–there was no time to be gentle about it and she hit hard–and caught the Sound commander with a spinning kick to the chest. Kabuto blocked it without taking any damage, but was sent skidding back. The Hound lifted Suyo to her feet and pushed her toward Lion. "_Run!"_ he shouted at her, and this time desperation colored his voice.

He couldn't fight Kabuto with Suyo so close. He couldn't concentrate on the battle with her exposed like this. There was too much chaos, too many Sound nin, and he was going to fail if she didn't get to Lion or Badger and away from this fight right _now._ He punched and kicked Kabuto back again, again moving faster than any shinobi should be capable of and catching the new snake flung his way just beneath its scaly head. He snapped his arm back, then forward, using the thing like a living whip. Its razor-tipped tail caught Kabuto beneath his human eye and staggered him for a moment, long enough for the Hound to flip the serpent into the air to grasp its tail. He snapped it again before it could use this change in position to bite him. This time the head whipped through the air at Kabuto, and while he was fast enough to slice its head off with his scalpel jutsu before the enraged serpent could score a lethal bite, Kakashi saw poison and blood spatter over his face.

There would only be seconds at most before Kabuto recovered. Kakashi dropped the dead snake and grasped Suyo's shoulders in both hands, trying to shake her into action. She showed no reaction to him, no reaction at all. "Suyo!" he snapped–_no time to be gentle_–but her eyes were wild, whites showing, filled with the unspeakable horror he'd seen an eternity ago in her kitchen. Her bloodless lips were open, her face locked in a silent scream. He shook her, hard. "Suyo, you have to _run, right now!"_

She appeared not even to have heard him. A Naruto clone flew past, knocking into them and directly hitting one of the kunai still embedded in her leg before poofing out of existence, yet she didn't so much as flinch. _Shock,_ a dry, detached voice murmured in his mind–the voice of the perfect shinobi, emotionless and cold. The voice of the Kakashi that was before she came into his life. _She can't move. She won't make it._

"Shut up!" he shouted aloud at that voice, hating it because he feared very much that it was right. This was shaping into a battle he couldn't win.

But neither could he lose.

Then the Hound roared back inside him, drowning out that cold voice, drowning out the fear of losing her. The Hound didn't know the meaning of fear. It only knew rage and blood and death, and Kakashi willingly surrendered himself to its grip. Now his own voice echoed in his ears, repeating words he'd said what felt like a lifetime ago.

"_With every skill I possess, with the last breath in my body, I will protect you, Suyo. I'll give my life for you."_

"_I want to fight all your battles for you, destroy anyone who dares to threaten you ever again, lay their heads at your feet–and I will."_

"_You're _mine,_ Kimura Suyo, and I will do anything–_anything–_to keep you."_

His enraged gaze fell on Kabuto–no longer smirking, but no less determined than the Copy-Ninja himself. He spun Suyo back behind him while snatching a katana from a Sound ninja and slicing the stunned ninja's throat with the stolen weapon all in one smooth movement. A kunai filled his other hand, a lethal extension of his body. "Come on, then," Kakashi growled, crouched in the fighting stance that would allow him to leap into action to meet an attack from any direction. "Come get her, you bastard."

"I will," Kabuto replied, and then he charged.

Two Konoha ANBU were cut down as Kabuto closed the distance to the Copy-Nin. Kakashi met his attack with a slash of the katana, breaking Kabuto's momentum and interrupting the hand signs he'd been preparing. Kakashi whipped out his scroll, sliced his thumb on the sharp blade, and used the blood to summon the rest of his dogs. The howls of his pack added to the cacophony as the ninken exploded into the battle. Bull, long since finished with the Sound jounin he'd mauled to pieces, charged at Kabuto. Two hundred pounds of pure muscle moving like a freight train slammed into the snake ninja and spun him momentarily off his feet.

Kabuto retaliated by slashing his blue-glowing hand at the huge dog's flank. The giant animal's momentum didn't allow him to change direction fast enough to avoid the attack. Suddenly Bull's enraged barking changed to a wail of pain as a deep gash opened from his ribs to his tail and gushed blood.

The Hound howled at the injury to his loyal companion, but the ninken wasn't done–not yet. He and Bull attacked Kabuto together, Bull limping but determined, Kakashi lightning-fast and enraged. Kabuto took the first slash of Kakashi's katana across the cheek, laying it open to the bone, but avoided the kunai angled to slice open his throat. Bull rammed into the Sound jounin again, rocking him onto his heels, and Kakashi engulfed him in a Giant Fireball jutsu that filled the air when the scent of burning flesh and hair. Not content with the injuries he'd inflicted, he threw two of his three paper-bomb enhanced kunai into the fireball.

Only when they exploded, showering the area with smoking flesh, did Kakashi finally allow himself to feel satisfaction.

That satisfaction was short-lived when Suyo screamed behind him.

Kakashi spun around, only now noticing that he'd moved further from her than he'd intended and was now nearly ten yards away from her–it had been a risk, but taking out Kabuto had seemed worth it since he was her greatest threat. But–but wait–this made no sense, damn it, because the man who had Suyo by the throat–

–_was Kabuto!_

The Hound shot a glance back at the smoking ruin of the ninja he'd just destroyed, the ninja he'd thought was Kabuto. Badger's shattered mask only half shielded the dead eyes from view. _How?_ he demanded silently, but now wasn't the time for questions. Not when Suyo was again held captive by the snakelike jounin.

"You deserve every bit of your reputation," Kabuto said as he slung Suyo unceremoniously over his shoulder. "Your poor comrade didn't stand a chance."

"Let her go," the Hound roared. "Release her and you might even live."

Kabuto merely shook his head, ignoring the threat as he ignored Suyo's struggles to escape his grasp. "To honor your skill, I'll return her to you when I'm finished with her," he said. His hands flew through the seals again, summoning hundreds of snakes this time. A tsunami of them rolled at Kakashi. "You can give her a proper burial."

The Copy-Nin screamed a denial as Kabuto leapt toward the black gateway. The snakes converged on him, but he didn't care–couldn't be bothered with something as trivial as self defense right now. Suyo's wild, panicked eyes found his and she reached out with both hands. "Kakashi!" she screamed, and he fired jutsu after jutsu at Kabuto, the strongest jutsus he knew in every element. His chakra draining down to near nothing but not daring to stop, ignoring the snakes that had now completely covered his legs, ignoring the fiery pain of bite after bite injecting venom through his veins, ignoring the blackness that kept trying to cover his vision, his only thought was to stop Kabuto from reaching that doorway and taking Suyo away to Gods knew where.

And then Kabuto strode through it, Suyo's desperately reaching hands disappearing last, and the gateway vanished into nothingness behind him.

"No!" Kakashi shouted–or at least he tried to shout it. The snakes had buried him to the shoulders now and he could feel nothing but the fire in his veins, the cold fury in his head, the agony in his heart, as they dragged him down into blackness.

_No!_


	31. Trapped

**Disclaimer blah blah, yadda yadda, etc., and so on and so forth.**

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Kakashi came to with panic crashing through his veins. There was none of the fuzzy confusion he'd always felt in the past when regaining consciousness after depleting his chakra to almost nothing. No, this time he instantly remembered everything as though the nightmare had been playing behind his eyelids the entire time he'd been out.

_Kabuto had come for Suyo–he'd taken her!_

The sounds of fighting were clear even through the closed windows. It wasn't too late, then–the battle was still underway–he could still save her! Kakashi bolted up from the bed, already knowing he was in the hospital from the scents of disinfectant and despair surrounding him, and was tensing to leap for the nearest window when his body froze in the grip of a jutsu he knew too well.

The Nara clan's signature Shadow Possession Technique was a very effective way of keeping someone right where you wanted them. Clearly the Hokage didn't want Kakashi leaving the hospital, and knowing Kakashi like she did, she'd guaranteed it by posting a guard.

But Kakashi really didn't have time for this right now! "Damn it, Shikamaru, release me! The fight isn't over yet!"

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I'd like to get back out there too," Shikamaru replied from behind him. "But the medics say our injuries are too severe. That means for you and I, the fight _is_ over. Hokage-sama commands that we stay put until she returns." He sighed. "It's a drag, but what can we do?"

Kakashi knew what he could do–he fought the jutsu for all he was worth. No way, no fucking _way_ was he going to just sit here while his home was destroyed and his woman was tortured by the bastards who'd tormented her in that prison camp. _"Let me go!"_

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru repeated. "I can't disobey the Hokage's direct order."

Kakashi's body moved without his direction then. First his left eye closed, hiding the Sharingan and disabling his most effective weapon. Then he found himself walking back to the bed and sitting down on the edge. Shikamaru, moving exactly the same way, sat on the bed beside him, giving the Copy-Nin his first look at the teen. Frankly, Shikamaru looked like hell. Wrapped in bandages about his head, neck, and hands, one arm in a sling, he was more battered than Kakashi could ever remember seeing him. The fight must've gotten even more intense after he'd been taken down–come to that, how had they gotten him away from those snakes, anyway? He'd been buried alive in their slithering bodies.

Still, he didn't waste time wondering for long. He strained against Nara's jutsu. It was difficult, especially with his chakra so pitifully low, but no way in hell was he going to give up. But before Kakashi could break out of the Shadow Possession Jutsu, the door swung open and Tsunade strode into the emergency ward. Shikamaru looked at her, forcing Kakashi to do the same. "Hokage-sama," Shikamaru said respectfully.

Kakashi didn't. He just transfered his glare to her. "Tell him to release me right now," he snarled, not caring that he wasn't showing the slightest bit of the respect his Hokage deserved. "I should be out there, not lying in bed here. I'm fit to rejoin the fighting–you need me out there!"

Tsunade shook her head. She didn't seem surprised at all at his demand. "You're not fit, and you're not needed, Kakashi," she said bluntly. "Honestly, I shouldn't have even sent you out there, but I was desperate. You just got back from a strenuous mission and you were almost out of chakra even before Kabuto attacked. The Kazekage just sent a message that his party picked up Kabuto's trail outside Konoha and they're in hot pursuit, so you can sit here and relax."

Kakashi could've howled with frustration. _Relax?_ "I'm telling you, I'm fine. They need me out there!"

Tsunade glared back at him. "You're staying right where you are, brat–they _don't_ need you. You're beat to hell and in no shape for battle," she repeated, and this time her voice was steely. He knew she didn't understand his desperation to get back out there, didn't know what Suyo was to him. She clearly thought he was just being his usual stubborn self and had no patience with his attitude. "Have you even looked at yourself? What the hell were you thinking, letting those damn snakes bite you at will? Do you have the _slightest _clue how hard it was to neutralize all that venom? You're lucky you were worth the effort, but don't make me reconsider that."

He started to protest again, but she pointed a deadly finger at him–she had enough strength in that single digit to shatter every bone in his body, and he knew it. "Not another word, shinobi. Your death wish won't be fulfilled today, so do us all a favor and stop fighting."

_Stop fighting?_ He almost snorted aloud at the command he didn't even know how to follow. He would just have to fight a different way, and he focused all his attention inward. He'd broken out of the Shadow Possession Jutsu before–though admittedly it had been during a training exercise with the elder Naru, and Kakashi hadn't been nearly this low on chakra at the time–but he could damn well do it again now. It wouldn't be easy, but then again, telling the Hokage that Suyo was his lover and then convincing her to let him go after her would probably be harder. Tsunade wasn't likely to send him on a mission with his head so clearly muddled by emotions. Shinobi got killed that way.

Kakashi closed his eye to better concentrate, shutting Tsunade out as he gathered all his remaining chakra and used it to break through Shikamaru's jutsu. A tense minute passed, and then another, before he sensed the jutsu straining and weakening. With a superhuman effort he found he could move one finger, then two. The success gave him new strength. Another moment and he'd be able to bring his hands together and create the hand-seals needed to perform a substitution jutsu and get out of here… just a _little_ bit more…

The young chuunin suddenly realized what was happening and tightened his jutsu. Kakashi fought harder as Shikamaru grunted with effort. "Man, this is so troublesome," Shikamaru muttered under his breath as he wrenched control back and Kakashi was once again locked in immobility.

"This isn't the half of it," Kakashi growled at him, redoubling his efforts. So he'd lost the element of surprise now–he didn't need it. He'd just proven that he could indeed weaken the young ninja's jutsu. All he had to do now was keep working at it until he wore Shikamaru down. "Wait until I get free, kid, and I'll show you trouble."

"You will do nothing of the sort, Kakashi," Tsunade snapped in her most commanding Hokage tone. "You will stay where I tell you to stay and stop arguing!"

"I'm not your bitch to sit and stay on command," Kakashi snarled, fighting still harder.

Tsunade hissed in rage and stalked toward him, one lethal fist raised, her famously scant patience clearly exhausted. The Copy-Nin didn't bother to stop glaring–if she wanted to pound him into the ground, he didn't much care as long as she let him go after Suyo when she was done.

But just as she reached him, the doors banged open again and a new voice made Tsunade turn around instead of flattening Kakashi. "Kankuro and Temari have caught up to Kabuto and his unit, Hokage-sama," Gaara, the young Kazekage of the Sand, reported in his emotionless voice. "The captive is still alive. I should have an update on their progress soon."

The news that Suyo had been found, that she was still alive and that others were fighting to free her while he sat helpless, gave Kakashi the extra burst of energy he needed to finally break free of Shikamaru's Shadow Possession. In a movement too fast for the chuunin to block, Kakashi shattered the jutsu and lashed out with a fist, knocking Shikamaru out cold with one shot. An instant later, the jounin channeled the precious remains of his chakra to his feet for extra speed and leapt for the door.

Only to be caught in mid-air and nearly smothered by a tidal wave of sand.

"Don't be foolish, Hatake-san," Gaara said, his cool monotone not changing in the least as he enveloped Kakashi in a prison of sand. "You are badly injured and dangerously low on chakra. You should stay here."

"Damn you, let go of me!" Kakashi shouted, trying to bring his hands together to form the seals that would enable him to escape. The confining sand prevented his hands from touching. While it didn't hurt him, it didn't give him any freedom of movement at all. Without the ability to bring his hands together, he couldn't make a single seal to execute a jutsu. Frustration kicked adrenaline into his veins, driving his fear and anger still higher.

Refusing to give in, he fought the sand like a man possessed. Despite his struggles, he was unable to keep the sand from snaking around his head and covering his Sharingan, stealing his best weapon once more. Kakashi refused to admit defeat, continuing to fight even though he knew that this time, it was useless.

This wasn't just another jutsu, one he could break as he'd broken Shikamaru's. This was the legendary power of Suna's jinchuuriki. The Kazekage was a formidable ninja in his own right, and despite the loss of his demon, Gaara remained in total control of his power over sand. His Sand Coffin would never release Kakashi until Gaara wanted it to.

That didn't mean Kakashi would stop fighting, though. He _couldn't_ stop. "Release me!" he demanded.

Gaara watched him from those dispassionate eyes. "Calm yourself. The situation is under control," he said coolly, standing at ease as though his sand wasn't now holding Kakashi so tight he could barely breathe. "If you fight now, you will only die, and that won't serve your village at all."

Kakashi snarled, glaring the promise of a slow and painful death at the Kazekage. He couldn't take much more of this. Every second he was delayed was one more second when Suyo was at the mercy of Sound nin who had none. The Hound howled inside him, demanding release. "Then I will die for her! _Now let me GO, you bastard!" _

There was a moment of utter silence at his outburst. Konoha nin would _never_ lose control in front of a visiting Kage–it was unthinkable–and Kakashi's icy calm was the stuff of legend. He renewed his fruitless struggle against the sand, knowing he'd better escape the sand prison fast because his Hokage would likely beat him to a bloody pulp for his rude and shameful outburst.

But a glance at Tsunade showed that instead of enraging her, his hysteria had somehow actually defused her anger. Her glare melted away to be replaced by a look of shocked understanding. When he met her gaze with a glare of his own, his briefly-freed Sharingan fed him her thoughts. The memory of her lover Dan dying in her arms flashed through his mind, a terrible, agonizing memory drenched in grief, horror, rage, helplessness, failure

All the things Kakashi was feeling right now.

His Sharingan showed him the revelation as it hit her–the rumors she'd dismissed as ridiculous, the comments he'd made and she'd ignored as more of his typical lies… all of it was real. She, the Hokage who was supposed to know things like this about her shinobi, _especially _a shinobi as valuable as Kakashi, had been blind to the truth that Kakashi had _fallen in love_, and not with just anyone. With the woman Naruto had rescued from Orochimaru all those years ago.

He wrenched his gaze away to cut off that thought–there was nothing in that word but bad luck for him. But it didn't make the waves of sympathy coming from her go away.

Somehow her pity was harder to bear than her fury.

"Oh, Kakashi," Tsunade murmured, her voice soft and gentle now, the soothing tone one would use when approaching an injured and dangerous animal, and in that moment he hated her for trying to comfort him while Suyo was out there with no one to comfort her. "Kakashi, I truly understand why you want to be out there, but you have to know that you can't fight effectively in your condition. Let the Sand shinobi–"

He didn't bother listening after that. Those few words made it perfectly clear that this new information would do nothing to change her decision. It was the last straw. His woman could be suffering the torments of hell right now, and he could do _nothing._

He'd never been so powerless in his life. Being helpless while everything in him demanded that he _do something_ was the last straw, and whatever humanity there was left inside of him, whatever last scrap of sanity that still held on, it snapped. The Hound broke free of the restraints keeping it contained fought the sand with a beast's unreasoning fury. Skin tore on rough sand and joints wrenched against their immovable bonds as he struggled and screamed at them to release him until his voice was shredded and he tasted his own blood.

His insane behavior stunned everyone in the room, but the Hound was beyond noticing. He wasn't aware of Shizune's horrified stare, the pity in Tsunade's gaze, the shock on Iruka's face. He didn't care that the Kazekage and his ANBU bodyguards were witness to his shameful loss of control. He didn't hear Sakura hesitantly ask if she should fetch an injection to sedate him, or Tsunade's reply that even confined, he was too dangerous to approach in this state.

In truth, even if he had been paying attention to any of them, he wouldn't have given a damn about their reactions. All he could think of was Suyo.

His promise to her, so many weeks ago… _Sound ninja wouldn't dare show their faces here… and even if they did, I would never let anything happen to you._

Again, at the hot springs… _I'll keep you safe, keep you from experiencing any pain ever again… I'll destroy anyone who dares to threaten you and lay their heads at your feet…_

The terror in her eyes as he failed to keep those promises and Kabuto took her away from him as he fought, blood and chakra flowing from a thousand wounds, trapped in serpents and jutsus with her screams in his ears, her hands reaching out to him–

The horror that overwhelmed him as he imagined this woman who was the most precious thing he'd ever known reliving the nightmares of her past torture at the bastard's hands.

He couldn't calm down. He couldn't be reasonable. He _could not_ stop fighting until he broke free. Nothing else mattered–_he had to get to Suyo!_

And when he did, he would have his revenge on those Sound bastards and kill anyone–Leaf, Sound, Sand, the Hound didn't give a shit–who dared to stand in his way.


	32. Shinobi Rule 25

**A/N: Okay, so it's technically Monday, but since I haven't gone to bed yet, for me it's still the weekend and therefore I'm not late on my update. Yes, this is my logic, and I'm sticking to it. So there! ;) This is a longer chapter than usual, but like before during the Broken chapter, I couldn't find a good place to break it. Hope you enjoy having a bigger dose of SlimReaper-induced angsty deliciousness!  
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**As always, I love you for your reviews! And I cannot WAIT to see them after this chapter…**

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Finally, sheer physical exhaustion accomplished what Tsunade and Shikamaru and Gaara could not. Kakashi went limp in the sand, gasping for air through a throat made raw by his own screams, unable to fight any longer. It was a battle just to stay conscious. His entire body throbbed and ached, and the stabbing pain in his side told him he'd probably broken a few ribs in his desperate struggle. His already-injured shoulder was a hot streak of fire and each serpent bite throbbed with searing pain. He had almost no chakra left after his failed attempts to use the Mangekyo Sharingan to burn through the sand covering his eye. The unbearable bitterness of his defeat burned–he'd fought with all he had, and he'd lost.

The silence was heavy with tension as they all waited to see what Kakashi would do next. This time, the Hokage didn't speak to him, didn't try to soothe or reason with him. No one did. He didn't care.

There was only one person here to whom he had anything to say. Only one person who knew what it was to hold a murderous beast inside and to fear losing control of it.

He managed to lift his head, meeting the cold blue eyes that hid the Sand jinchuuriki's emotions better than any mask ever could. "If your shinobi don't succeed," Kakashi rasped, barely recognizing the ravaged sound of his own voice, "if they don't bring her back, you can't release me. I don't know what I would do. Crush me in your sand if she dies, Kazekage-sama. Kill me. You have to. Swear it to me."

"Kakashi-sensei, no!" Sakura gasped, but Gaara was already inclining his head.

"You have my word," he said, agreeing as if it was nothing.

There was a collective gasp of shock and Tsunade rounded on the much younger Kage, outraged. "How dare you, Kazekage-sama? Kakashi is a jounin of the Leaf Village. Killing him would be an act of war! You can't just–"

She never got to say what Gaara couldn't just do. At that moment, Kankuro appeared in a cloud of acrid smoke, kneeling atop the largest of his deadly puppets. He held one arm tightly across his body as blood seeped between his fingers. He took in the entire room with a glance, not even reacting to the sight of Kakashi imprisoned in his brother's sand coffin jutsu or Tsunade shouting red-faced at his leader. He merely bowed and spoke as if Gaara were the only one in the room. "The mission was a partial success, Kazekage-sama. We've sustained no casualties, although several shinobi are en route with serious injuries."

Those words froze Kakashi's racing thoughts for an instant, but then they only raced faster. Far from reassuring him, Kankuro's report raised far more questions than it answered. A partial success–what the hell did that mean? Just what was their mission? Were the Sand nin ordered to merely stop the Sound team from escaping, or were they to rescue Suyo? Kakashi burned for more information than that. He opened his mouth to demand it, but Gaara silenced him with a look before asking the question for him. "The captive, Kankuro–what of her?"

Kankuro slid off the puppet. Despite his injury, he still moved with the fluid grace befitting an elite jounin. "I brought her with me, as you ordered," he replied, and with a few quick hand gestures, the puppet's body sections separated and folded back to reveal Suyo inside.

Kakashi gasped, jerking convulsively in his bonds as he tried to see her. The view from his position was partially blocked by the body sections, but he could see enough to tell that she lay bloody and crumpled in the wooden interior of the puppet. Try as he might, he couldn't discern if her chest rose and fell with her breaths.

But one thing was all too clear. She wasn't moving.

Tsunade and Sakura rushed over to the open puppet… but almost at once, they backed away again. Sakura pressed her hand to her throat, shaking her head in wordless denial, her face white and stricken. Tsunade turned to her ANBU guards and snapped, "Find Uzumaki Naruto. Bring him here as fast as you possibly can. Go!"

No… Tsunade couldn't mean… Suyo _couldn't_ be… "Suyo," Kakashi whispered desperately as the ANBU squad vanished. He silently willed her to react to his voice, to turn her head and look at him. He would give everything he had if she would just give him a sign that she still lived, that his world hadn't ended while he'd been trapped here.

But although Kakashi felt like time had stopped, Kankuro hadn't even paused as he gave his report. "We didn't catch up with them in time to save her life," he said, bowing his head slightly as regret laced his voice. Kakashi's heart stuttered in his chest as the Sand jounin's words confirmed the truth he was trying so hard to deny. Kankuro went on, each word burying a fresh knife of pain in Kakashi's heart. "She's not dead yet, but I doubt she'll last much longer. I don't know what the hell he was after, but that sick fuck Kabuto had sliced her open and was–"

"You will finish your report to me later," Gaara interrupted him firmly, and Kankuro fell silent as though his voice had been cut off by a switch. The Kazekage looked at Kakashi, and although those icy eyes didn't change at all, he somehow still felt the young Kage's sympathy. "I _will_ honor my promise to you, Kakashi-san, if that is still what you wish," Gaara told him quietly. And then the sand flowed away, releasing him.

Kakashi stumbled and fell gracelessly to the floor. He didn't even feel it. Clearly he'd used too much strength in his struggles against shadow and sand–it was almost more than he could do to rise to his hands and knees–but he wasn't ashamed of his weakness. If crawling was the only way to get to Suyo, then he would crawl.

It turned out that he didn't have to. The sand returned and encircled him once more, but this time instead of confining him, it gently lifted him and bore him toward the puppet. The sand released him again when he was beside the puppet, slowly enough this time for him to keep his balance. But he still fell to his knees beside the wooden salamander in horror as he finally saw what had been done to his lover.

And then there was nothing else, no one else but the horrible mass of ruined flesh that had once been a woman who'd somehow seen something to love in him. "Suyo," he whispered, unable to bear looking at her, yet unable to look away.

Every inch of her skin was bloody and bruised. One eye was sealed closed by blood–he used his sleeve to wipe away as much as he could. A gaping abdominal wound showed through her torn shirt, matching several on her chest. Her hair, that glossy, beautiful hair, was hacked unevenly from his thrown kunai and clotted with the blood that pooled around her in the puppet's interior. Her limbs lay at odd angles beside her.

"… looks like he took samples from every organ system… "

"… Tirabi sustained some kind of burns from the blood, I'm not sure why…"

"The toxins couldn't be fully removed…"

Voices sounded behind him, Kankuro and Tsunade discussing what had been done, and while the words flowed over him, Kakashi couldn't really register their meanings. He didn't need long explanations. He could describe what had happened in one word. _Broken_. That bastard had broken his woman, and despite all his promises, Kakashi hadn't been able to save her.

The Hound was snarling and howling in the back of his mind, feeding on his rage, clamoring for blood and death, demanding revenge on Shikamaru and Tsunade and Gaara for preventing him from saving Suyo. He shoved it away for now, needing to mark every second until her labored breaths stopped. Only then would Kakashi fall into his dark alter ego. Only then would he let the Hound consume him, and he knew he would never resurface from it again.

But not yet. Not yet. "Suyo…" Gently, trying so carefully not to hurt her, Kakashi laced his fingers through hers, enraged and nauseated and heartsick at the sight of her. He'd seen battle and he'd seen wounds, but rarely anything this bad. Despair and fury warred for supremacy inside him. "Oh, God, Suyo…"

No one could survive this.

He didn't expect she would hear him. It was remarkable that she was even breathing–consciousness was too much to hope for. But miraculously, he felt a hint of movement in her fingers before her eyes fluttered open. It took a long moment for her gaze to focus, green eyes bloodshot and hazy, but Kakashi leaned over her so she wouldn't have to search for his face. Her bloodied lips curved in a ghost of her warm smile when she finally saw him. "Kashi?" she breathed, and the Hound quieted. "Is… that really you?"

"Yes, I'm here," he replied, bending to press his lips to her forehead, giving her one of the masked kisses she'd always found so funny. A wave of trembling suddenly swept over him from head to toe, and for some reason, he was unable to steady himself. Was it the soldier pills? He'd never reacted to them like this before, but then again, right now he was far into the realm of overdose.

None of it mattered. He caressed her hands, wishing he could take her in his arms and hold her close. He didn't dare move her, though. "I'm right here, Suyo. You're at the hospital, back in Konoha. You're… you're going to be all right."

Suyo smiled again, but it only lasted an instant before a spasm of pain twisted her face. When it passed, she met his gaze again. "You are… such … a bad liar."

He couldn't think of the words to deny it. She sighed as though his silence was all the confirmation she needed. "Naruto?" she asked, looking around but clearly having trouble focusing on anyone else in the room.

"He's coming," Kakashi said, praying the teen would hurry. His shaking was getting worse. He caressed her bloody hair–the hair he'd cut, and he cursed himself for defiling something so beautiful–and tried to make his hands stop trembling, but for the first time in his life, his body utterly refused to obey his commands. "He'll be here soon, I promise."

She coughed and he was momentarily frozen with the dilemma of whether or not to help her sit up–would moving her do more harm than good? The coughing fit passed before he could decide and Suyo smiled weakly at him as she caught her breath. "This time… I did it," she whispered, and despite the weakness of her voice, he could hear her satisfaction. "I fought back… I hurt him."

_I didn't care if I died if I could just hurt them back, hurt them for what they did to Tadao and Ichirou… _ Kakashi remembered her determination to get revenge for her murdered family during that bloody fight–it felt an eternity ago. And she'd done damn well, too. Her kunai strike had laid open Kabuto's thigh almost to the bone. It was a hit any shinobi would've been proud to claim, especially against such a powerful ninja as Kabuto, and Kakashi hoped that his gaze could express how proud of her he was.

"Yes, sweetheart, you did," he said, smiling back at her even though it felt like he was dying inside. Despite his own grief, he was fiercely glad she'd been able to claim vengeance for her husband and child–he understood that desire so very well. It blazed in him now like the fires of hell. "You did very well."

Suyo coughed again, but this time she choked in the middle of her coughing fit and gasped harshly for air. Kakashi lifted her head this time and her breathing steadied, but only for a second. Her entire body shook with the force of her coughs now. Her fingers clutched at him convulsively and he clenched his fists, failing to keep his panic at bay.

"Someone get over here and help her!" Kakashi shouted as she struggled, hearing the hysteria in his own voice and refusing to understand why none of the medics were rushing over to shove him out of the way and heal her. He forced himself not to remember the times he'd witnessed the same thing in the field. Medics only ever stood aside for one reason–to give the mortally wounded whatever privacy and dignity they could for their last few moments.

_No, dammit!_ Their inaction couldn't be because Suyo was too far gone to save. He wouldn't _let_ it be! If they wouldn't do something, he would–but what? The thought of using any of the simple healing jutsus he'd taught Naruto was almost laughable. It would be like spitting on a forest fire. Damn it, why, _why_ hadn't he ever watched with his Sharingan as Tsunade healed in the hospital? Why, in all the countless techniques he'd absorbed, hadn't he made time to copy even _one _of the Hokage's powerful healing jutsus so he could help Suyo now?

Suyo whimpered in pain as her coughing fit finally subsided a little, and his heart contracted at the sound. "Tsunade-sama! Sakura-chan! Aren't you going to do something?" Kakashi demanded, glaring at the two kunoichi as he pushed his own pitiful remnants of chakra into Suyo's body in an act of pure desperation.

Sakura dropped her gaze, unable to meet his burning eyes. "Sensei," she whispered miserably. "Sensei… I'm sorry, but I… she…"

Tsunade crossed the room in three long strides as Sakura's voice faltered. She knelt on the other side of the puppet and reached out, but instead of making the seals for a healing jutsu, she only covered their linked hands with one of her own. "Kakashi, we can't do anything to help her. Her wounds are far too great," she said gently. "I'm so sorry."

Rage exploded in his gut and Kakashi moved so fast, she had no time to dodge. In a split second he lashed out and grabbed the Hokage by the throat. But for some reason Tsunade, never one to tolerate disrespect, made no effort to defend herself from his attack. She didn't resist as he dragged her halfway over the puppet to snarl in her face, fully the ANBU Hound now–she even waved Iruka and Sakura off when they started to rush to her aid.

He shook her by the neck, hating her in that moment, wanting to kill her for her sympathy. _She _had kept him here when he could've been out fighting for Suyo–_she_ had imprisoned him in shadows and sand! "Don't you dare give me a useless fucking apology!" he growled. His voice broke and he tightened his grip on her neck, letting her know how close he was to snapping her spine. She grabbed his wrist with both hands, but those fingers that could crush his bones to powder didn't tighten. "Don't you dare!"

She held his furious gaze with that same compassionate calm. "It's too late," she told him, still using the soothing tone that grated on him like sand in a wound even though his grip had to be making it hard for her to breathe. "I won't apologize if you don't want to hear it, but I can't change the truth."

Kakashi roared in her face, drowning out her words. The tiny part of him that was still sane looked on in horror at his behavior. Tsunade should be pounding him to a pulp for this, not just letting him choke her! And he almost wished she _would_ hit him. Her fury would've been far easier to bear that than her pity. His stomach clenched with despair and he embraced his rage to deny it. "You're _wrong_, damn it! It's not too late–you can't know that. Aren't you even going to try?" He shook Tsunade hard, his fingertips digging into her throat. _"Damn you, how can you not even try?"_

Suyo spoke then, her voice still ragged and quiet though she was clearly trying to speak more loudly now. "Ka… kashi, don't. It's… not her fault."

Her whisper cut through the Hound's unreasoning bloodlust and Kakashi abruptly snatched his hands away from Tsunade, horrified by what he'd almost done. Had he really intended to strangle his Hokage? He felt like he was losing his mind, drowning in volatile emotions his strict logic had never taught him how to handle–_this_ was why Gaara had to end it. He clutched his head, trying to keep it together while she was still with him, trying to get control of himself, trembling like a frightened child instead of a battle-hardened jounin. But only for a moment–then he locked his gaze with hers again, Sharingan open, determined not to miss anything.

Somehow, despite the horrific wounds covering her body, Suyo's eyes were still soft, still gentle as she held his gaze. "I'm… sorry," she whispered. "I should have… if I'd run… when you said–"

"No, Suyo, no." Kakashi put his fingers over her bloodied lips to stop her. He could stand many things, endure much, but he couldn't stand hearing her apologize to him for his failures. How could he have asked her, in the midst of that battle, confronted by the same people who'd almost killed her years ago, to run _to_ the ANBU? "None of this was your fault. I asked too much of you."

Suyo winced again and sucked in a sharp breath. "It hurts… will you… hold my hand?"

He looked down at their linked hands and puzzled briefly at the moisture beaded on their skin. Only then did he feel the wetness and warmth on his lashes. Tears? From him? It must've been Obito's Sharingan acting up again–but no, both sides of his mask were soaked. How could that be? He hadn't cried since the day he'd tied on his first hitai-ate, more than two decades ago. He couldn't be crying now–he didn't even know how anymore.

"I am holding your hands, Suyo," he whispered, blinking hard and ignoring the pointless mystery of the tears. He raised her hands and kissed her fingers. They were cold, so cold against his lips, even through the mask, and he pressed them to his cheeks, trying to warm them. The tremor had spread to his voice now and he could no longer pretend it had anything to do with the soldier pills. "Can't you feel it?"

Her eyes clouded but she made them focus on him again with a clear effort. "No."

Behind him, he heard Iruka murmur, "They'd better find Naruto and get him here fast or he'll miss her. She's going." Gaara said something in reply and there was a soft _shush_ of departing shinobi. Kakashi assumed it was the sound of the Kazekage's personal ANBU guards joining the search. He barely cared. All his attention was given to the dying–no, _not_ dying, damn it, _not dying_–woman before him.

He released her hands and cupped her face in his palms instead. Bending low, he kissed her again, this time on the lips. "Can you feel this?"

"Yes… but it's… more fun… without the mask." Suyo managed to smile again as she teased him, but the expression was weak and soon faded. It was replaced by a look of such sadness, his heart physically hurt to see it. "I'm not afraid… to die… but… I don't want… to leave you."

"Then don't. Don't," Kakashi begged, and now everything was shaking, his bones, his muscles, his nerves, his very world–he was shaking to pieces, coming apart at the seams, unable to deny that he was crying any longer. That was Shinobi Rule Number Twenty-Five broken for the very first time in his life–a ninja must never show emotion–but only now, after a lifetime steeped in death, had Kakashi truly learned to fear it. He stroked her bloody cheeks with his fingertips, smearing the redness that coated her soft skin, mixing it with his tears. "Don't, please, don't go, don't leave me, Suyo. I need you so much."

"… don't think… it's up to me…" She gasped as another wave of pain crashed over her, twisting her face, plain but so beautiful to him, into a mask of agony. "Oh God, it hurts!"

Her eyes rolled back in her head and Kakashi cried her name hoarsely over and over as the seizure gripped her, echoing each of her agonized cries with one of his own, wishing he could bear this pain for her. Finally the seizure passed but she still shook, her tremors now keeping pace with his. She gasped in a few breaths and made a visible effort to focus her gaze again, but this time her eyes kept closing and rolling back to show the whites. "My… Kashi," she whispered, and a single tear escaped her closed eyes to wet his fingertips. Her voice was much weaker now–he had to put his ear to her lips to understand her. "Glad… you're here… love you."

That pet name, her declaration of love–the words he treasured so much and had begged her to repeat so often broke his heart now. No matter how much she teased him for it, she always said it again. She'd say it as many times as he wanted, easily gifting him with those precious words he found impossible to give her in return.

Would this be the last time he heard her call him _Kashi_ and say she loved him?

He couldn't stand it. Kakashi tore his eyes away from her struggle to breathe and stared imploringly at Tsunade. "Please, I beg of you," he whispered, knowing he was asking for the impossible and unable to keep from doing it anyway. "Help her, Tsunade-sama. You're the strongest healer there's ever been. You have to be able to do _something!"_

To her credit, Tsunade didn't look away from the raw grief in his eyes. His still-active Sharingan again fed him her thoughts in the second their eyes met. She knew it, but she looked into his eyes anyway and didn't even try hide the truth in her mind from him.

He made a low, hopeless sound of despair at what he learned from her. Suyo's condition was truly hopeless. There was nothing Tsunade could do for her–the damage done to Suyo's body was so severe, the legendary kunoichi wasn't sure she could've healed her even at full strength. Now, after the battle she'd fought to purge the venom from his own body, she simply didn't have the chakra to attempt the complex healing. Suyo wouldn't live long enough for Tsunade to rest until she did.

And there was no one else. All the medical-nin apart from Sakura and Shizune were out triaging and healing those wounded in the battle. They couldn't be recalled in time to save Suyo, even if Tsunade were to decide to sacrifice all those injured villagers and shinobi by recalling the medics for her. And neither Sakura nor Shizune could possibly heal Suyo on their own. Shizune came closest to Tsunade in power, and Sakura was nearly her match in skill, but their chakra would be greatly depleted by the healings they'd already done.

There was no escaping the truth.

Suyo was going to die.

And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

But just as Kakashi was about to collapse under the weight of his grief, Tsunade abruptly moved. She reached out and held her hands over the vicious wound on Suyo's abdomen.

His gaze shot to hers again and read her intention. Despite the hopelessness of Suyo's condition, Tsunade was still going to perform a healing jutsu, expending precious chakra on her. She couldn't save Suyo's life, but at least she could take away some of the pain and ease her into the next world. But she did this more for Kakashi's sake than Suyo's. She respected him too much to stand by and do nothing while he was suffering so greatly, humbling himself to literally _beg_ for her help.

Tsunade only hoped it would be enough to keep him from asking Gaara to carry out his promise. The Sound attack had injured and killed too many of her people–so many pointless, tragic deaths, just like Suyo's. She couldn't stand the thought of losing Kakashi, too.

Kakashi silently bowed to his Hokage, torn between guilt and gratitude, unable to think of a thing to say. Words could never express what he was feeling.

But she seemed to understand all the same. She touched his masked cheek gently before making a rapid series of hand seals. "Sakura, Shizune," Tsunade called over her shoulder as her hands began to glow with the distinctive green chakra of healing. "Iruka, you too. Come here and give me any chakra you can spare–quickly!"

Shizune jumped to obey. "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

"Y–yes, milady," Sakura said, clearly surprised that her mentor would waste chakra on a hopeless case instead of conserving it for those shinobi and villagers who could be saved. But she rushed over and stood with Shizune behind their mistress, their hands on her shoulders, feeding her all the chakra they could spare. Iruka paused for a split second to cast one glance out the door–hoping to see Naruto, perhaps–before following and placing his hand beside Sakura's. Tears glistened on his face, too. Soon all their hands glowed with the blue light of the chakra exchange.

Kakashi wished he could believe their combined strength would be enough to save Suyo's life, but he knew better. Sakura had never had much chakra. Her control over what she did possess was astonishing, but this time it wasn't a question of control. And the only thing that kept Iruka from making jounin was his own small reserves of chakra–he had great skill, but like Sakura, he just didn't have much chakra and never had. Even with Shizune's help, the three of them together couldn't match Tsunade's full chakra.

But they were trying. "They're going to fix you up," Kakashi told Suyo, stumbling over the lie.

This time she couldn't return the smile and didn't call him on the lie. He wasn't sure which hurt his heart more. "Where's… Naruto?" she asked again. Her eyes rolled, but she wrenched them open and he read the sudden fear there. "Is he… safe? Not… hurt?"

"No, no. He's fine and he's coming." Kakashi was grateful that he didn't have to lie about this. "He's safe, I swear it. He wasn't injured. Naruto was brilliant in the fight–you would've been so proud of him. He saved so many people. Tsunade-sama sent shinobi out to find him and bring him here to you so… so he can…"

So Naruto could have a last moment with the woman he loved like a mother. Kakashi couldn't make himself say it.

Suyo closed her eyes with a weary sigh. When she spoke again, her voice was so soft he couldn't hear it at all. He had to read her lips. "Tired… tell him for me… love him…"

He saw her chakra weakening, fading. "No!" he cried. He searched for some hidden scrap of chakra within himself and pushed everything he had into her, ignoring his gut-deep weariness and the survival instinct that urged him to save something for himself. There was nothing to save it for. The Kazekage would crush him as soon as Suyo was gone. Why hold back? "You–you have to tell him yourself, do you hear me?"

Kankuro and Gaara appeared behind Tsunade and silently touched her shoulders, adding their chakra to the others'. The green glow around Tsunade's hands brightened perceptibly and Suyo's eyes fluttered open again. "I hope he… hasn't picked… up your habit… of being late," Suyo said, and the fact that she was teasing him now almost destroyed Kakashi.

He was spared having to reply by the crash of the doors bursting open. "Suyo-chan!" Naruto shouted, sprinting over and skidding to a halt beside Kakashi. His face was the definition of horror as he saw her mutilated body. He fell to his knees, his face stricken. "Oh, God, oh no, Suyo-chan, you… you…"

Suyo managed one more smile at the sound of his voice. "Naruto," she whispered gratefully. Despite the faintness of her voice, her relief was clear. "Where are you?"

"Suyo-chan," Naruto said miserably, reaching for her and pulling back, clearly uncertain where to touch her without hurting her more. Kakashi took one of Naruto's hands and led it to Suyo's, and the teen clasped her hand tight. "I'm right here beside Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi gently turned her head until she faced the blond teen she loved like a son. Her eyes wandered a bit before finally focusing on him. "Ahh, there…" she breathed, her gaze resting briefly on his face before her eyes closed again. "Naruto… need… tell you…" She gasped and grimaced as another spasm of pain crashed through her, but she kept whispering through it this time as though sensing her time was almost up. "Always… so proud… of you… know… you'll be… greatest… Hokage." She sucked in a sharp breath as her body shook, but despite the strain, she bit out four more words. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. "I… believe… in you!"

Naruto's eyes filled with tears that quickly overflowed and ran down his cheeks. His tears mingled with the remnants of Kakashi's as they fell on her hands. "Why don't you wait and tell me this later, after you're all better, huh?" he asked, sniffling.

"No… later," she whispered. It was clear that each word was a battle for her now. "Naruto… Kashi… love you… so much… you're… both… my family…" She gasped in a harsh breath that rattled horribly in her chest. They both bent close to hear her final, whispered words. "Promise… take… care of… each other… promise… me…"

"I promise!" Naruto's vow was made through the tears that flowed freely now. Unlike the stoic Kakashi, he'd never been any good at keeping Shinobi Rule Twenty-Five. "I promise, Suyo, I'll promise whatever you want, just don't die!"

But Kakashi couldn't give her the promise she wanted. He was going to follow her, not stay and look after Naruto. His guilt threatened to crush him as he imagined disappointing her in her last seconds–but was that worse than lying to her by making a promise he knew he couldn't keep? If he was lucky enough to catch up with her spirit when Gaara ended him, would she turn away from him for not promising to care for Naruto, or would she understand that this was one loss he just couldn't face?

Before he could decide what to do, Suyo fell silent and went still. Her chest barely moved with her shallow breaths as she finally lost the battle to stay conscious. Naruto promised to look out for Kakashi over and over–every word a dagger in his heart–and begged Suyo not to die, but she was beyond hearing now.

It looked like she would never know whether Kakashi promised or not.

"No," Kakashi breathed, caressing her cheeks, her eyelids, _willing_ her to look at him just one more time. His Sharingan, damn the thing, let him see her life fading away as the pauses between every breath dragged out longer and longer. His trembling finally stopped, leaving him empty and cold inside, so cold.

And then she didn't inhale again.

"Suyo!" Naruto wailed, shaking her. "Hey! You can't die, Suyo–you can't! Grandma Tsunade, you have to do something!"

Tsunade pulled her hands back, sighing with exhaustion. Sweat beaded her brow. "We did all we could," she said, her voice weary and so, so sad. "She was mortally wounded before we could get her back, Naruto. Even working together, we didn't have enough chakra to heal her. All we could do was ease her pain and help her hold on so you could say goodbye." For the second time this evening, she looked into imploring, grieving eyes–Naruto's this time–and said the words she hated more than any others. "I'm sorry."

Tsunade's words seemed to crush the spirit right out of Naruto. He wrapped his arms around himself and hunched over, rocking under the weight of his grief. Kakashi reached out and grasped Naruto's shoulder, trying to comfort him. At least he could do this much for Suyo, even if he couldn't make himself tell Gaara he'd changed his mind.

But then a sudden burst of power rocked the room. Waves of dark energy swirled and twisted in the air, a volatile, deadly dance Kakashi knew too well. He didn't even need to glance at Naruto to know that the Fox's red chakra was bleeding out from his pores, forming the inhumanly powerful Nine Tails' Cloak–it burned his hand where he still clasped Naruto's shoulder.

He didn't bother to let go. What was one more ache?

It had been a long time since Naruto had lost control and let the Fox take control, but pain and strong emotion had always been the triggering event. Watching the woman who'd practically become his mother die before his eyes… that was enough pain to trigger a burst of rage from anyone. Vaguely Kakashi wondered how many tails Naruto would manifest this time–any more than three and Konoha was in serious trouble. The Fox would take over and attack anyone and everything in its path if Naruto allowed it to manifest four or more tails.

Kakashi gave up trying to care how many tails would appear and what would happen when they did. He _couldn't_ care. His woman, his lover, his _heart_ was dead, ripped out of his chest and lying in this damned puppet, and nothing else mattered.

The realization of her death would soon sink in, and when it did, Naruto would attack. Sitting so close, Kakashi knew he was first in line for destruction. He sensed both Kage's ANBU squads tensing for battle, but Kakashi didn't bother moving out of the danger zone. What did it matter if the Fox killed him or the Kazekage did it? Without Suyo, he didn't want to live anyway–didn't _dare_ to live and let the Hound run free. When he felt Gaara's sand begin to swirl around him as Naruto's vicious chakra intensified, his only emotion was relief that he wouldn't have to.

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**You have to wait until next weekend for an update... because I'm mean like that. But if I get a LOT of reviews, I might post a little earlier. Persuade me, my friends, persuade me. Toodles!**


	33. Crimson Chakra

**Your reviews worked! Your prayers are answered! To those who reviewed–**

**Kairi-senpai: Tell your mom I'm sorry she got freaked out! Your wish is granted–today is the 7th, so you have a whole day of internet access to enjoy it. Now freak her out again. ;)**

**InARealPickle: I think you might've missed the point I was trying to make with this story, about looking past the surface to see and love the real person beneath (Kakashi's mask, Suyo's scars, Gai's Epic Persona, Naruto's goofiness, etc), but thanks for taking time to review. I hope you'll continue to do so!**

**KakashiKrazed: Thank you for your reviews! I always love reading what you have to say. I'm glad you liked (well, sorta, lol) reading about Kakashi's breaking point. Is it wrong that I really had a blast writing him as he totally flipped his shit and lost it? And don't worry–Kabuto WILL get his due. Oh, yes, my darlings, he WILL get his due. _*evil grin*_**

**Blackhawk68: Dunno if I've done what you hoped for, so I'll be waiting to hear from you! **

**Taishorin: You crack me up! Are you insane yet? How about now? Hmm… now?**

**Kori Namida and XDarkxStormxCloudsX: Your reviews made me laugh so loud I scared the dogs. I think that means I'm twisted and/or mentally unbalanced–neither is really surprising. Hugs to both of you!**

**And now, on with the show! I still don't own it, blah blah, read on, my lovelies, and please, PLEASE keep reviewing! I love hearing from you all!**

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Chakra bled from the jinchuuriki's pores, red as blood, thick as hatred, caustic as pure acid. It wrapped Naruto in a cloak of pain and violence and seared Kakashi's skin like fire. He didn't let go–when the Fox erupted, his own agony would end, and compared to the loss of Suyo, physical pain didn't even register on his radar.

But Naruto didn't give in to the savage aura surrounding him and demanding carnage and death. Didn't strike out in uncontrollable rage. Instead he lashed out with a clawed, glowing red hand and grabbed Tsunade's wrist in an iron grip. She gasped with pain at the burn of his corrosive Nine Tails' Cloak but couldn't break away.

His red eyes bored into hers. "I'll give you the chakra, Grandma Tsunade," Naruto said in a demonic growl. "You do the rest."

He didn't give her a chance to protest. Kakashi's eyes widened with terrified hope as he suddenly understood the teen's desperate plan.

Tsunade went rigid as Naruto funneled the Kyuubi's chakra into her in a massive infusion of energy. Kakashi had never witnessed anything like it–seen through the Sharingan, Naruto's chakra blazed into the Hokage, lighting her up as though she'd been struck by lightning. The five ninja behind her were blown backward as if by an explosion. That red chakra was insanely powerful, volatile and electric.

And it seemed _endless._ Naruto gave her so much, too much, far more than Tsunade could handle. If she didn't get rid of it soon, the overload would shatter her entire chakra network and kill her on the spot. The Copy-Nin could already see her chakra pathways swelling, perilously close to the bursting point.

Before Kakashi could warn them of the danger, the Sannin took action. Tsunade's hands flashed through a dizzying series of seals as she poured every ounce of Naruto's chakra into the most powerful healing jutsu Kakashi had ever witnessed–a secret jutsu, the Creation Rebirth technique. It was secret because it was powerful enough to heal almost any injury, but it was forbidden because of the hideous, nearly fatal amount of chakra it demanded and because it shortened the patient's lifespan.

But any lifespan at all was better than leaving Suyo like this.

Suyo's limp body arched hard the instant Tsunade touched her, and she screamed as the jutsu ripped through every cell in her body. Yet even those shrieks were music to Kakashi's ears, certain as he'd been that she would never make another sound. Kakashi held her down so she couldn't thrash away from Tsunade's jutsu, and he prayed as he never had before while Suyo screamed and fought and convulsed. Green light burst from the Hokage's hands. Through it all, Naruto held tight to Tsunade's wrist and kept pouring that wicked red chakra into her.

The green light blazed so brightly that it made Kakashi's eyes throb even through his tightly shut eyelids. Suyo suddenly went silent and rigid in his arms. He dared to peek and saw the Hokage literally glowing with chakra, the diamond-shaped chakra storage mark on her forehead easily twice the size it had been only seconds ago.

Clearly, if she hadn't had the ability to store it, the overload of Naruto's chakra would already have killed Tsunade even despite the terrible amount required by this jutsu.

"_Naruto, enough!"_ Tsunade screamed at the same instant that Kakashi grabbed Naruto's hand and wrenched it away from her. That crimson chakra blasted through him when he touched Naruto, searing his veins with agony and fire, and Kakashi yanked his hand back as fast as he could.

It took nearly a full minute for the jutsu's brightness to fade enough that Kakashi could stand to open his eyes again. Tsunade's hair stood on end and a charred hand-print on her wrist marked where Naruto had held her. Her hands still glowed with the remnants of her jutsu–despite absorbing the technique with his Sharingan, Kakashi wasn't sure he could ever bring himself to attempt something so dangerous–and they shook like a leaf.

"Gods, Naruto," Tsunade breathed, staring at the teen in awe and fear as his eyes returned to blue and his claws and fangs retracted and finally vanished.

He didn't pay any attention to her at all. All his attention was given to Suyo, who was now utterly limp in Kakashi's arms again. "Suyo?" Naruto said, hesitantly reaching for her shoulder only to pull back just before touching her. "Suyo-chan, can you hear me? Did it work? Are you all right now?"

But Suyo didn't answer him, didn't move a muscle. For an eternal, aching moment, both Naruto and Kakashi held their breath and prayed desperately to whatever gods and ancestors were watching. _Please,_ Kakashi thought, unable to form any prayer more coherent than that. _Please, I'll do anything. Please._

Then Suyo gasped in a breath and Kakashi squinted against a sudden blaze of blue light that momentarily dazzled him.

The glow shining through Suyo's skin, visible only to his left eye, Obito's eye–that glow was her chakra, a bright glittering web over scarred skin once more. He'd watched that glow fade to nothing, and its return was the most wonderful thing he'd ever seen.

Her life force had returned, and it was strong.

Kakashi let out his breath in a sob of pure joy as Tsunade finally managed to shake off her shock at this demonstration of Naruto's power. She tore her gaze from the teenager and bent to examine Suyo again. Kakashi just had time to press one last masked kiss to Suyo's hand before Tsunade shouted for her medics, and then he and Naruto were abruptly shoved aside by Shizune and Sakura. The three medical ninja converged on the puppet, all talking at once as they hovered over Suyo.

Naruto stood frozen beside his sensei. "Why… why won't they answer, Kakashi-sensei? I… it was all I could think of to do–why won't they say anything?" His normally exuberant voice was uncharacteristically hesitant with his fear.

Kakashi shook his head, unable to speak yet. That blessed wave of relief still clogged his throat and choked off his voice. _This_ was what he'd wanted to see when Kankuro had returned with Suyo. Medics ran when there was hope, a chance for recovery. Naruto was pale as a ghost, though, and Kakashi tried hard to make his voice work so he could tell him that he'd succeeded. "Naruto, you…" His voice broke and he cleared his throat before trying again. "Her chakra is strong now, Naruto. I think–I think you saved her."

Then, without warning, he grabbed the blond and dragged him into a hard, tight hug. Naruto actually yelped and tried to escape before realizing Kakashi wasn't attacking him. "Sensei?" he squeaked, his voice muffled against Kakashi's vest.

Kakashi couldn't blame him for his surprise–he'd never done anything like this before, in fact went out of his way to _avoid _contact like this. But he had to do it now. "Thank you," Kakashi breathed fervently, pressing his face against Naruto's spiky hair just as Suyo did when she hugged him… just as Minato had hugged Kakashi all those years ago. After a moment, he felt Naruto hesitantly put his arms around his back, cautiously returning the hug. Kakashi tightened his grip as tears stung his eyes again. He knew he would never find the words to express his gratitude, and though these were too weak to ever say everything he was feeling, they were all he had. "Thank you, Naruto, thank you."

He finally released his shocked student. Naruto stared up at him for a long moment before going red and rubbing the back of his neck. He was clearly just as lost for words as his sensei. "Um… you're welcome?"

Kakashi laughed, suddenly lightheaded with relief as the medics examined Suyo, all talking at once. The borrowed energy from the soldier pills was fading, and with its retreat came the realization that his exhaustion was gone. Apparently Naruto had fully recharged his chakra during that instant when he'd yanked his hand away from Tsunade's.

Was there anything this kid _couldn't_ do?

Tsunade straightened from her kneeling position beside the puppet as a medic arrived with a gurney. She walked over to Kakashi and Naruto. "She's stable enough to be transferred to a private room now," she told them as they stood together, watching the healers fussing over Suyo. Like Kakashi, all signs of her fatigue and strain had vanished. Only the hand-print seared onto her wrist and the abnormal size of the diamond on her forehead gave any sign of what Naruto had done. "She should wake up soon and I think it'd be better if she wasn't still in Kankuro-san's puppet when she does. If you wouldn't mind?" she said to Kakashi, gesturing at Suyo, clearly understanding that he was still edgy and would feel better moving her himself rather than watching anyone else touch her.

He nodded and went to his lover's side again. She was still unconscious, but that blue glow was easily visible with his Sharingan, and her breathing was deep and regular. He fought down another shudder of pure relief and gently lifted her out of the wooden enclosure. It was strange to see all the blood still coating her skin and the rips in her clothing while not a single injury remained. The warmth and vitality of her in his arms almost made his knees go weak. He carefully placed her on the gurney, moving her with such care she might've been made of the most fragile crystal, then straightened up. The stickiness on his skin made him realize that his hands and arms were now covered in gore.

"Getting her out of there is a good start, but she'll need to get cleaned up," he said, not wanting her to wake up like this. The memories of this trauma would be bad enough without that on top of everything else.

Tsunade wiped her own hands on a towel Sakura handed her. "Well, it'll have to wait. All the medics and nurses are too busy with first aid and emergency care right now to worry about giving baths." She tossed the towel into a nearby hamper and propped her hands on her hips. "In fact, I'm going to turn her over to you rather than having Daku take her to her room. I need him to help with the other wounded and I'm sure you're capable of pushing a gurney. Take her to room 16A. I'll have Sakura check on both of you when we have time–don't think I've forgotten that shoulder, Kakashi." With that, she nodded to Sakura and Shizune before following Daku out of the emergency ward, her two protégés in tow.

Kakashi looked at Naruto and squeezed his shoulder again. "You're good at healing burns, Naruto, and Godaime-sama is very shorthanded of healers. You should probably go with them and see if you can help out." The teen looked torn as he gazed down at Suyo. Kakashi smiled, reading his mind. "It's all right, I'm sure Suyo wouldn't mind. In fact, I think she'd tell you that helping heal Konoha's injured is exactly the kind of thing the future Hokage should do, don't you?"

Iruka walked over and clasped Naruto's other shoulder. Despite his own raw emotional state, Kakashi couldn't help but notice that the chuunin's eyes were still red and over-bright with moisture. "I'm sure Kakashi-sensei will watch Suyo like a hawk, so don't worry. Come on, I'll go with you," Iruka offered, clearly understanding that Kakashi needed the teen to leave for a bit but didn't want to hurt his feelings by saying so outright.

He didn't have time to comment on it–even to decide if it was worth commenting on–before Iruka turned to Shikamaru, who was still lying sprawled on the bed where Kakashi had awakened. "Shikamaru, you can help, too. We really do need every hand out there." The young chuunin groaned something that sounded like _what a drag _but got to his feet, rubbing his jaw where it was swelling from Kakashi's punch. Reluctantly, Naruto nodded. He lingered a moment longer, clearly still wanting to stay with Suyo, but he finally let Iruka lead him out with Shikamaru bringing up the rear.

Kakashi wheeled the gurney down the hall, looking for room 16A. It was eerie to see the halls utterly devoid of staff–he'd been in the hospital often enough to know it was usually a hive of carefully controlled chaos. This calm wouldn't last. The healers would soon be back in force to tend the incoming masses of wounded.

But right now, he was grateful for the lack of staff. It meant he could get Suyo bathed and changed privately, without even Naruto to witness it.

When he finally found 16A, he ran a bath and carefully lifted Suyo into the tub, clothing and all. The first tubful of warm water was stained crimson in moments as he used a kunai to cut her ruined clothes away. He had to drain the water twice more before she was rinsed completely clean of the blood saturating her hair and skin. Even so, he soaped her down one last time just to be sure. He was determined that not even a single speck of blood remain to remind her of this ordeal.

After stripping off his own overshirt and quickly scrubbing his arms to avoid getting her messy again, he lifted her from the water and carried her, wrapped in towels, to the bed beside the window. Once he'd blotted all the water he could from her hair–all the while aching at the sight of the roughly shorn strands that now barely reached her collarbone–he pulled a hospital gown and long-sleeved robe over her body and tucked the blankets around her.

Only once he was certain that none of the scars she so carefully hid were exposed did he let himself sink onto the bedside chair with a weary sigh. Although his chakra had been fully recharged thanks to Naruto, his body still ached with the wounds he'd suffered in battle and the ones he'd inflicted on himself trying to escape Gaara's Sand Prison. More than that, though, he felt battered by all the emotions he'd suffered in the last hour. He laced his fingers through hers and saw without much surprise that his hands were trembling again. "You wreck me, woman," he whispered, stroking her short hair with his other hand. "Shinobi aren't supposed to feel fear like this."

But then, Suyo had always made him feel things he'd never thought he would.

It only took a few minutes for him to give up on the chair–it wasn't close enough. Kakashi kicked off his shoes and slid beneath the blanket beside her on the narrow hospital bed. Only when he'd gathered her tightly to his chest, cradling her in his arms, practically wrapping his entire body around hers, did his shaking finally ease a little… but it didn't fully disappear. He didn't think it would until he saw her open her eyes and smile at him again.

He couldn't wait for that to happen. But even once it did, he knew it'd be a long, long time before he could think of this day without reliving the terror of it.

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**Oh, ye of little faith… did you _really_ think I'd leave Suyo like that? ;) Review, my darlings, review!**


	34. Reasons

**A/N: OMG, y'all, it's been F-O-R-E-V-E-R! Lotsa crap here, none of it terribly interesting, so I'll just say that surgery has happened and so has recovery (finally) and I'm without internet at home because that shit is _expensive_. So, anyway, this chapter is for HatakeRyari because she was sweet and emailed to make sure I'm still alive… yes, I am! Sorry it's so short and sorry for the loooooooooooooong delay in posting it, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter…**

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A week later, Suyo still hadn't awakened.

Kakashi and Naruto had practically moved into her hospital room, and one or the other stayed with her at all times. The hospital staff had quickly given up trying to convince them to confine their stays to visiting hours. Usually they both maintained the bedside vigil despite a steady stream of visitors offering to give them a break. Sometimes it seemed like her hospital room had become the new shinobi social hub. It astonished Kakashi. Until now, he'd never fully realized how many lives she'd touched.

Lee and Gai were the first to visit the morning after the attack. They came to proclaim their faith that her coma was certainly no match for her "Youthful Vigor and the Power of True Love." And Gai came up with a new challenge–whether he or Kakashi could find the key to waking her up first. He and Lee dropped by every morning to try.

Ino brought in a vase of fresh flowers and replaced the blooms with new ones every morning.

Hinata showed up while Ino fussed with the flower arrangement and sat across from Naruto, holding Suyo's hand and looking like she'd much rather hold his. On her second visit, she brought a comb and a pair of scissors along and somehow managed to trim Suyo's butchered hair into an attractive style.

Sai's daily visits were absolutely punctual, and utterly silent. He never held her hand or even approached her bed. He merely sat in the corner every day from nine until eleven, drawing pictures of Suyo–cooking for the team, laughing at Naruto, holding Kakashi's hand, smiling in portraits that were full of life. It was like drawing her this way was a tangible vow of faith that she would do all those things again. Kakashi would stare at those pictures for hours after he left.

Ayame had delivered a free lunch from Ichiraku Ramen for Naruto and Kakashi on the third day after the Sound attack and stayed to visit while they wolfed it down–it'd been the first real food either had eaten since Suyo had been injured. Seeing how much they'd enjoyed it, she'd brought them lunch every day since, and sometimes dinner, too.

Iruka stopped in every evening to make sure Naruto was all right. Like Sai, he didn't talk much, but seeing him sitting on the spare bed and grading papers seemed to comfort Naruto more than any words ever could have.

Kurenai and Asuma had dropped by twice to make sure Kakashi had everything he needed. "She's been good for you. Both of you," Kurenai told him quietly during their second visit as Asuma nodded behind her, hands in his pockets. "If there's anything we can do to help her when she wakes up, just call."

Kiba had spent an afternoon with them that was cut short when Kakashi had returned from a trip to his apartment for clean clothes to find Kiba, Naruto, and Shikamaru trying to break up a fight between Bull and Akamaru over who got to lie on the foot of Suyo's hospital bed–as if there was enough room at her feet for _either_ of them. Furious at finding several hundred pounds of angry dog fighting in her patient's room, Shizune had kicked them all out… literally. Kiba sported bruises for days. Kakashi's lasted a little longer, mainly because he'd refused to go.

Sakura came by more often than anyone else, visiting several times daily to perform new neurological tests. But no matter how hard she tried, she could find no explanation for Suyo's coma. "Her body is perfectly healed," she told them every time she examined her, frowning in frustration and confusion. "I can't find any brain damage. I just don't understand it–she should be completely healthy. There's no reason for her to be like this."

The visitors helped during the day, but once visiting hours were over, Kakashi and Naruto could do little but worry and get on each other's nerves. Naruto was beside himself. He couldn't stop worrying that the Fox's inherently evil chakra had somehow damaged her mind, that her coma was all his fault. "I shouldn't have done it," he groaned over and over, holding her hand and staring intently at her face as though _willing_ her to wake up. "Nothing good ever came from the Kyuubi. I shouldn't have done it."

Kakashi knew Naruto was just as worried as he was and tried to be patient, but even he had his limits. "If you hadn't given the Fox's chakra to Tsunade-sama, Suyo would be dead now," he told him flatly when he finally couldn't stand hearing the teen lament any longer. "Whatever the Kyuubi's chakra did or didn't do to her, it was worth it. She can wake up from a coma. No one wakes up from _dead_."

On the eighth day, Tsunade came and examined Suyo herself. Her silent examination seemed to take forever. When she finally finished, she told Naruto to stay with Suyo and pulled Kakashi out of the room, her face very serious.

"I'm not taking a mission, Hokage-sama," he told her as soon as the door closed behind them, determined to speak up before she had the chance to do so herself. It was unheard of for him to refuse a mission, but there was a first time for everything, right? He squared his shoulders, for once foregoing his trademark lazy slouch, and looked her straight in the eye. "I will not leave Konoha until she wakes up."

She snorted at his audacity. "I didn't bring you out here to assign you a mission, Kakashi. Much as I need you, anyone can see you're in no shape to be in the field. You'd get killed if I sent you out now. I don't think I've ever seen you so distracted."

He almost laughed–distracted? If she called spending eight endless days and nights worried out of his mind _distracted,_ he supposed he fit the description.

Tsunade leaned against the wall and rubbed her eyes when he didn't reply, her fatigue clearly showing on her face, the result of long days of heart-wrenching work and too little food or sleep. "I need to tell you some things about Suyo that might not be easy to hear. The first one… well, I hoped I was mistaken, but she's been like this too long," she finally said, opening her eyes and meeting his gaze directly. He immediately recognized it as the look of bad news coming, and her next sentence proved him right. "You should prepare yourself for the possibility that she might _not_ wake up, Kakashi. Ever."

Kakashi's entire body jerked as though she'd slapped him. "What are you saying?" he demanded in a hiss. "Of course she's going to wake up. Sakura says she's completely healed!"

"Her _body_ is completely healed," Tsunade contradicted him. "But her spirit is horribly wounded. Maybe mortally so."

"What do you mean? I don't understand," he said, but he wasn't sure he wanted the explanation. If Tsunade was going to tell him Suyo would stay in this coma for the rest of her life, Kakashi didn't _want_ to understand.

She sighed at his question and shook her head. "If we'd acted even a few minutes earlier, things might be different," she said sadly. "But I hope you won't tell Naruto that–I bear all the blame for the way this turned out. He's not responsible. There are very real reasons why that jutsu is forbidden. I knew better–he didn't."

"Hokage-sama." Kakashi's tone was hard, urgent. "_I don't understand._ How can her spirit be wounded?"

"Suyo wasn't on the verge of death when Naruto and I healed her, Kakashi," Tsunade said, her tone so weary. "She _was_ dead. Her spirit was already leaving her body, preparing to make its way to the next world. What we did…" She stopped, took a deep breath, and started again. "What _I _did to her was a terrible thing. I forced her spirit to stay in a body it was trying to release, wrenched her back from her next life." She shook her head again. "It was an act of unspeakable violence, not one of mercy, and I should _never_ have done it."

Kakashi's breath froze in his throat. He remembered Suyo's screams as the forbidden jutsu tore through her, forcing her body to heal despite all the laws of nature. How could he have ignored the effect such a thing would have on her soul? "What can we do?" he finally whispered.

Tsunade straightened away from the wall and ran a hand over her face. "I don't know," she said, and he'd never heard a sentence he hated more. "I can heal the body, and we have genjutsu experts who can heal the mind, but I have no idea how to heal her spirit–or even if such a thing can be done." She reached out and clasped his shoulder, but Kakashi barely felt it. "I'm sorry, Kakashi," she said, and her voice broke a little on the words. "I'm so goddamn sorry. I just thought you should know."

Kakashi closed his eye. "You said _things_," he said, barely aware of what he was saying. His voice didn't sound remotely like his own. "What else?"

Tsunade looked at him for a long time, hand still on his shoulder. Finally she released him and clasped her hands in front of her. "Actually, I… I think that's enough for you to take in right now," she replied. Her usually no-nonsense voice was much gentler than usual. "The rest can wait. I'll be back when I can and we'll talk more."

He knew he shouldn't let it go, should demand that Tsunade tell him everything, but it felt like he was watching Suyo die all over again and he had to admit that he couldn't handle any more bad news right now. Instead of pressing her for more, he just nodded silently and listened to her footsteps as she walked away. Right now he wanted nothing more than to curl up beside Suyo again, to hold her and pretend she was simply sleeping. At least Naruto wasn't anywhere near as adept at reading his moods as Suyo was–the mask would hide his emotions. That was good because the last thing he wanted was to have to explain this to the teenager.

Naruto's head snapped up as soon as Kakashi opened the door. "What'd Grandma Tsunade say, Kakashi-sensei?" he demanded, half-rising from his chair beside Suyo's bed. "Is Suyo getting better? Is she going to wake up soon?"

Kakashi shook his head, closing his eyes briefly so he wouldn't have to see the dejection on Naruto's face. "We need to have faith," he said, the words meaningless, just something to say to keep from repeating Tsunade's crushing news. "We'll have to give her a reason to want to wake up," he added, murmuring the words more to himself than to Naruto.

"How do we do that?"

Naruto's confused question echoed Kakashi's own thoughts and he shook his head. "I just don't know," he said quietly, echoing Tsunade.


	35. The Child

**Hey, everybody! Anyone wonder if I'd fallen off the face of the planet? (Besides you, o0-Constance-0o! Put your hand down.) Yeah, I did too. See, my old computer died. Now for all of you on here who are also writers, you can imagine the horror, angst, grief and general hair-rending and teeth-gnashing that went along with that, because like so many of my author friends, I DIDN'T BACK UP FREQUENTLY. So all my babies, all my little stories… gone! _*pauses to vomit at the very memory*_**

**But there is hope! You see, this Easter weekend, there was a Resurrection. It was a Miracle deserving of the Capital Letter in the genuine Gai Declamatory Style! Something made me try my old computer again, and… and… IT WORKED. Imagine my joy! I snatched up my external hard drive, initiated the world's most desperate back-up, and the computer lived just long enough to hurk up all its guts. PHEW!**

**Now I have a brand new computer (my precioussssss) and brand new internet service and is there any better way to celebrate all this than with a brand new chapter on all my fanfics? Like you, if there is, I can't think of it! So without further ado, let's see what's happening in Kakashi's poor, mangled brain, shall we?**

**(Wait… a small amount of further ado… o0-Constance-0o, this means you now HAVE to update Stupid Mistake. Wouldn't want me to show you up, now would you? *_evil laugh*_)**

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Two weeks later, Naruto and Kakashi were returning to Suyo's room from a quick trip to the cafeteria for hot coffee when they heard the raised voices from Suyo's room at the same instant. They didn't even exchange glances before breaking into a run, and Kakashi knew they were both hoping and praying that the disturbance signaled some positive development from Suyo. They passed Asuma and Kurenai in the hall, and at the looks on his and Naruto's faces, the two jounin fell into step behind them. Kakashi managed to sprint to the door a split second in front of Naruto only because his legs were slightly longer than the still-growing teenager's, and he pushed it open to see Tsunade and Sakura arguing red-faced over Suyo's bed.

Neither kunoichi so much as blinked at the four ninjas' arrival. They were so deeply caught up in their argument, Kakashi wasn't sure they'd even noticed their sudden audience. "–is the only thing that even has a chance of working after all this time!" Sakura was shouting. Her face was so deeply red with anger that, combined with her pink hair, she looked positively alarming. "I don't understand why you won't–"

"Because I told you _no,_ damn it!" Tsunade shouted back, easily drowning her protégé's voice out. "If you send a chakra wave through her body, it could–"

"It could stimulate her enough to wake up!" Sakura waved one hand wildly at Suyo, who still lay as though lifeless beneath the sterile white sheets. "It's the _only_ thing we haven't tried yet. It's been nearly a month, Tsunade-sama! Why won't you let us even attempt it?"

"You don't know everything, and I have very good reasons for forbidding this," the Hokage shot back, just as stubborn as her favorite pupil. If there was one truth about dealing with Tsunade, it was that no one could out-shout or out-stubborn her. "It is absolutely out of the question, is that understood?"

But Sakura was sure as hell _trying. _"No, it is _not_ understood! How do you expect me to properly treat my patient if you withhold information from me? If I don't know everything, _tell me!_"

Tsunade shook her head hard. "Just trust me on this and drop it. It's completely out of the question. Try something else, anything else, just don't do chakra pulse stimulation."

"_Why, _damn it?" Sakura shouted, clenching both deadly fists. "This could work! I'm not going to drop it until you tell me–"

"_Because it could trigger a miscarriage, all right?"_

Tsunade's words silenced Sakura instantly. She froze, staring at the Hokage in complete disbelief as all the blood drained from her face. In the shocked silence following Tsunade's pronouncement, Sakura turned and held a glowing hand over Suyo's abdomen, concentrating for a moment before snatching her hand back. "Oh my God!" she gasped. "How… how could I have missed it?"

Kakashi wasn't as quick to process it. His mind seemed utterly incapable of comprehending the news. No, she wasn't… Suyo couldn't be… she would have told him, so this had to be a really bad joke. Even if Suyo hadn't told him for some reason, Tsunade surely would've said something. She would have… would have…

… or would she have?

He abruptly remembered that conversation outside Suyo's room more than two weeks ago, how Tsunade had ducked his question when he'd asked her what else she needed to tell him. "_Actually, I think that's enough for you to handle right now,"_ she'd said with such gentle empathy, and he'd been too shell shocked by the news that Suyo's coma might be permanent to press for more.

And Tsunade had been right. This was too much. This… oh God, he couldn't handle this, couldn't have dealt with it then, couldn't face it now. _Pregnant…_ the word echoed in his head, diving past the mental blocks he'd learned to hold and the ones Ibiki had placed, crashing into memories he hated more than any others. Black swallowed his vision, blotting out the room, the bickering kunoichi, Naruto's stunned face, the sight of Suyo lying too still beneath the sheets, Asuma and Kurenai staring at him in shock.

He could no longer see anything but the past.

_His first kunai, a gift on his third birthday, so much heavier than he'd thought it would be… White Fang smiling as he wrapped his son's little fingers around the handle. "This is how you hold it, Kashi-kun, so you don't cut yourself. We'll practice every morning…"_

_Awakened before dawn every morning after that for training with his father and quickly discovering that he wouldn't go easy on Kakashi just because he was so little. Endless mornings spent learning how to take a punch, how to shake it off, how not to cry when he was bruised or cut or bleeding because crying made his father turn away, but if he was stoic, if he accepted the pain like a shinobi should and always got back up for more, sometimes Sakumo would smile… but he was weak then and the tears always came later, and he hid in the closet and prayed his father wouldn't catch him doing something so shameful._

_Walking into the Academy a few days before his fifth birthday, scared of his classmates because he had never been around other children before but too tightly controlled to show it–Sakumo would be proud because by now, Kakashi never cried. The Academy was another world, long days spent surrounded by children twice his age and half his skill, still alone as ever, watched with wary eyes by his chuunin-sensei as he aced every test…_

_Coming home one day with the hitai-ate in place, an unfamiliar weight on his forehead. Sakumo had been out on a mission for the graduation and Kakashi wondered if his increasingly distant father would be proud of the new leaf symbol he now wore, if he'd even notice…_

_His first battle, chaos and death up close and personal now, no longer a lesson in a class. That Stone chuunin wasn't watching him–the tiny silver-haired genin was almost never noticed–so Kakashi had crawled past the bodies lying dismembered around him and plunged that kunai his father had given him almost three years ago into his throat, and had he ever realized how much blood there was in a human being before then? That watching the pain and fear and shock and worst of all, the pity in those eyes melt away into blank, dead _nothing_ would give him nightmares for years, that the smell and heat of fresh blood spurting out and coating his skin would make him fall to his knees beside the body and vomit until he feared he would rupture something, so shameful, please God don't let my father find out…_

_The chuunin exam he'd aced the next year by almost killing his fifteen-year old opponent in the final fight before being declared the victor. He was stone cold by then, feeling nothing but a brief moment of satisfaction that his superiority had been recognized. Sakumo had been away again when he'd come home with the vest that signified his new rank but by now the seven year old Kakashi was used to that, used to fending for himself…_

_A year and a half older and a lifetime aged, coming home once more and expecting his father to actually _be there_ for once. He was looking forward to talking with him, telling him how good he was getting on the battlefield, finding instead that Sakumo had left him again but not on a mission this time. Now Kakashi had enough experience to know how much blood was in a man and wasn't shocked by the size of the pool around White Fang's impaled, lifeless corpse…_

_Minato-sensei finding him beside the body and hugging him so tight, so _hard,_ and had he ever been hugged with such love? Had anyone ever held him like this, as if something as simple as their arms could protect him from the cruelty of the world? Perhaps his mother had before she died, but he didn't remember that–he had only one vague memory of her, a kiss on his forehead at bedtime. Certainly Sakumo had never done so, and Kakashi hadn't hugged his sensei back because it frightened him, that nearly desperate hug–it scared him because he couldn't make himself pull away, was unable to keep from soaking it in and wishing Minato wouldn't let go, terrified it would make him weak because he wanted it so much… _

"_You should be so much more than what you are, and they stole that from you." His sensei's bitter words seared him, scaring him, confusing him because he didn't understand what they meant yet. Only figuring it out later, when he was older, yet again too late, when the time to do anything to reverse the damage was long, long past._

_Remembering Obito constantly trying to tease him, to loosen him up, make him smile, and constantly failing, asking in frustration, "Damn it, Bakashi, why you gotta be so serious all the time? Didn't you ever just play like a normal kid?" Kakashi standing there feeling like a freak because the answer was _no_, hiding it by growling at Obito to drop it or he'd be happy to show the Uchiha brat exactly how the Hatake clan 'played.' And now he played at being late because it was the only game he'd ever let Obito teach him and he didn't know how else to mourn his dead friend._

_Seeing Minato fall, the Demon Fox vanishing–he was at his sensei's side now but it was too late, there would be no last words, no fond farewell to the student he'd treated like a beloved son–Yondaime was already gone. Realizing as he held his sensei's lifeless body that Minato had been a thousand times the father Sakumo had been and Kakashi had never bothered to tell Minato what he'd meant to him, how much Kakashi wished he could be like him, that Minato couldn't go, he needed to learn so much more. But he was always too late and he couldn't even cry over this latest, harshest loss…_

Kakashi wasn't aware that he was moving, that he was backing away, until his shoulder hit the edge of the door-frame and he nearly fell. "No," he whispered brokenly, terror sinking its icy claws into his spine. God, God_, please let it be a mistake_, he couldn't be a father, he didn't know how–the mental image of an unsmiling silver-haired little boy burst through his mind, a small, serious boy with Suyo's green eyes turned hard and cold, a child with death in his hands. Another Copy-Ninja to kill for Konoha, another Hatake bred to slaughter and maim and die for Fire. Kakashi stumbled back, fighting the need to vomit, feeling the hot blood of a thousand kills coating his body all over again. "Oh God, not me… not me…"

He heard Naruto shout, heard a scuffle as though someone were restraining him, but he was beyond comprehension. All his usual grace forgotten, Kakashi stumbled blindly out of the room and just ran like hell.

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**Isn't that just a super-cheerful way to mark my return? I don't know about you, but _I'm_ certainly happy! Hee hee hee… reviews make me happy, so gimme some! Mwah!**


	36. Inheritance

**Your reviews have moved my cold, cold, unfeeling heart, and therefore I shall update again. Send some good thoughts to o0-Constance-0o who really needs more sleep. Or some caffeine. Either is probably welcome, am I right, Con? ;)**

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Some unknowable time later, Kakashi stared silently at the shinobi memorial stone. He wasn't sure how long he'd been here–didn't actually remember arriving. He'd just come out of his horrified fog to find himself on his knees beside the stone.

A few minutes passed before he realized he wasn't alone. Kakashi looked over to see Asuma standing a few feet away. A casual observer would have thought him relaxed, but Kakashi had known the other jounin long enough to note the way his hands hung near his chakra knives and how supposedly lounging beneath that particular tree gave him a clear view of the entire area–and he realized the older jounin was actually standing guard over him.

Kakashi wondered if it was to protect him, or to protect others _from_ him.

Asuma nodded as if reading his mind. "You seemed pretty mindfucked when you took off," he said, relaxing a little and crossing his arms over his chest. "Thought I should tag along to make sure you didn't do anything crazy."

"I specialize in crazy." Kakashi meant it to come out as a joke. His voice was too cracked to really carry any humor, though.

"Well, crazier than your usual, then," Asuma replied with a crooked smile, letting Kakashi's tone slide. "By the way, Naruto is pretty pissed at you. Your reaction… well, let's just say he wasn't impressed."

Kakashi winced and scrubbed a hand over his hair. He could just imagine what the teenager had thought of his freak-out and quick exit. He wondered what he'd done in the hours since leaving Suyo's hospital room because the time was a total blank. He briefly considered asking Asuma, but he didn't–mainly because he knew the jounin would tell him. "I'm surprised he's not here with you, ready to beat some sense into me."

"Oh, I won't lie, he wanted to be. But I convinced him to leave this one to me."

"How many punches did it take to convince him?"

Asuma grinned again. "Just one. But it was a really _good_ one."

Kakashi sighed and returned his gaze to the stone. He couldn't get into the lighter mood Asuma offered. Gods, how he wanted to just give this over to the dead, to tell Obito and Minato and Rin about Suyo's pregnancy and her coma, and then wash his hands of it and walk away as he had with so many other problems before. But this wouldn't be solved so easily.

Asuma's quiet words broke the silence several minutes later. "You got one hell of an inheritance, Kakashi. I don't envy you."

He didn't answer at once. Inheritance? Even though the Hatake compound still stood, he didn't live there. It had been so heavily damaged by the Kyuubi's attack that only a few buildings were liveable, and those that were had too damn many memories. Other than that, Kakashi had nothing else of Sakumo's, just the face he kept so carefully hidden. "All I had of his was the white chakra blade," Kakashi finally said when it became clear that the other jounin wasn't going to speak until he replied. "And that's been broken for years."

"I'm not talking about the damn sword," Asuma said impatiently as if he thought Kakashi was being deliberately dense. "You think I don't remember you as a kid? Walking into the Academy, this little squirt half my size, but you had an aura that screamed _don't fuck with me, I can tear you a new asshole without breaking a sweat._ Why do you think none of us ever picked on you? Even then, you were seriously scary shit."

Kakashi just nodded wearily. All those pre-dawn training sessions with his father had paid off in skill, that much was true. He remembered Asuma back then, too–strong, proud, big for his age and with a mouth and ego to match. For a day or two, Kakashi had thought the Hokage's son could be a worthy rival before realizing that he'd already far outstripped him. Had outstripped _all_ of his much-older classmates.

"That's your inheritance, Kakashi," the other jounin went on in a softer tone. "White Fang did a number on you, that's for sure. You were strong as hell–still are–but I still wonder what the fuck he was thinking, training his own kid like you were born ANBU."

He heard Asuma move, tensed as the footsteps came closer, but apparently the other jounin knew him well enough to realize that Kakashi would shatter with the slightest touch right now and he didn't try. Instead, he stepped past him and reached out to trace his own father's name on the memorial stone. "My father gave me an inheritance, too," he said quietly. "Always putting Konoha first, before his own life, even before his family. We fought about it all the time–it's why I left to join the Twelve Guardian Shinobi. But now I understand why he thought that way, why he did all the things he did. Now I know what kind of inheritance I want to pass on to _my_ child."

He looked up just as Kakashi glanced at him in shock. Asuma smiled. "Yeah, that's right–Kurenai's pregnant too. Scary as hell, isn't it?"

That lump was back in Kakashi's throat. Just hearing the word _pregnant_ was enough to nearly choke him. "At least you had Sandaime to show you how it's done. You have no idea what it was like to live with White Fang," he said hoarsely. Fuck not showing emotion, he knew his terror was clear in his voice. "How the hell could I ever be a father, Asuma? Look at me! You know what I've done in my life–I'm a fucking monster! I could fill a goddamned lake with all the blood I've spilled. How can I be sure I won't be worse than White Fang?"

"Well, that one's easy. You can't," Asuma said. He straightened and brushed his hands together, the picture of casual relaxation. "All you can do is try your best. Yeah, you got a shitty inheritance, but I don't think you've realized one thing yet–you don't have to pass it on." He laughed at the shock Kakashi knew showed on his face. "Yeah, see? I knew you hadn't thought of that. Try this one on for size–what if your kid wasn't a shinobi? What if you skipped sending him to the Academy entirely and let him do something else?"

Kakashi was speechless for the second time that day. In truth, he hadn't really had time to consider or imagine _anything_ about this baby, but even so… could any Hatake ever really escape the shinobi life? Being a ninja was all he'd ever known. If not this, then what?

Asuma just shrugged as though hearing the unspoken thought. "There's other things out there, you know. As for fucking the poor kid up, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. If you were just a monster, I doubt your Suyo would've given you the time of day. In fact, I bet she'll kick your ass back in line if you start acting like White Fang. She seems like she's got her head on straight, even though she somehow fell for a porn-addicted punk like you," he added, shaking his head sadly. "I think that's her only instance of insanity. Let's hope it's not incurable."

"Blow me," Kakashi shot back. In truth, though, his mind was barely on the banter. It was too full of new imaginings of that silver-haired, green-eyed child… this time playing, laughing, running from Suyo's arms to welcome Kakashi home after a mission.

Actually being a _child._

Asuma laughed. "Not on your best day," he said. Kakashi gave him the finger and the tension eased considerably. Asuma surveyed Kakashi carefully after a moment more, then cocked a thumb toward the village. "You look mostly sane now–well, as close to it as you ever get. Ready to go back and try to keep Naruto from killing you in your sleep?"

"Sounds like fun." His tone was pure sarcasm, and Asuma laughed again. Kakashi smiled but shook his head no. "I'll be back in a little while. You go on without me." The older jounin nodded, but Kakashi spoke once more before he could leap away. "And Asuma… thanks."

"I'd say anytime, but since it's really disconcerting to see someone who could kill half the village with his pinkie freak out like that, let's make this a one-time thing. Deal?" Kakashi nodded and Asuma flipped him a salute. "I'll warn you, Naruto will probably check here first when I come back. If you don't want to deal with him, I'd suggest you go somewhere else."

Kakashi looked back down at the stone, his gaze falling on Minato's name. "It's all right," he said. "I'm sure the new big brother has some things he wants to share with me anyway."

"Naruto as a big brother? God, that's a scary thought." Asuma shuddered theatrically. He leapt away, leaving Kakashi alone with his dead.

Kakashi reached out and traced the names of those he'd lost, rereading them as he had so many times before. It took several minutes to honor every one of the etched names this way, but he did it slowly, carefully. So many of these dead heroes had left no one behind–no parents, no siblings, no spouses or children. He'd always thought he would be the same. Honestly, he'd always _wanted _to be the same. He would have been quite happy to let the Hatake name die with him.

But apparently Fate had something different in mind for him. "I don't know what to do, Obito," he murmured as he traced the characters of his name, feeling the familiar prickle in Obito's eye that always made him wonder if his old friend could somehow hear him when he spoke to him like this. "I'm not father material. Just being a halfway decent lover is more than I ever thought I could handle. Suyo might… she might not be around to help me do this right. What should I do if she doesn't wake up? How can I possibly raise a child without her? _What do I do?_"

And the answer came as though Obito had whispered it in his ear. _You do what you know. _

Kakashi immediately leapt into the trees. He had to employ all his stealth to get past Naruto–true to Asuma's prediction, the teen had headed straight for the memorial stone. If he'd been a heartbeat later in hiding, Naruto would've caught him, and Kakashi didn't want that… not yet.

Right now he had something important to do.

He crossed the village at top speed. Moments later, Kakashi dropped through Suyo's hospital room window, glad to find it empty, and locked both door and window to ensure that he wouldn't be interrupted.

It might be the last moment he had with her. He wasn't going to share it with anyone.

Well, only one other.

Kakashi sank down onto the bedside chair and just looked at her for a long moment, gazing at her as though every feature hadn't already been committed to memory long since. Her face was paler than usual from the extended bedrest. It made the fine scars noticeable even though he knew Tsunade had expended all her skill to erase them from Suyo's face. But her lips were the same–full, pink, inviting. He brushed a fingertip over her lower lip, thinking of her kisses, her smiles, her laughter. Her nose, a bit too long, an almost-imperceptible bump in the middle from a break–he traced this, too, hating the evidence of the long-ago injury. Her dark hair was like silk beneath his hand and he inhaled, catching her unique scent despite the hospital smell permeating the room.

It wasn't a beautiful face, yet it captivated him in a way that the most beautiful women in the world had utterly failed to do. Kakashi touched every feature, honoring her scars in the same way he honored the names on the memorial stone.

Dark rings encircled her closed eyes. He pulled his mask aside and pressed a gentle kiss to each eyelid. His lips followed the same path as his fingertips, paying homage to each feature. He prayed with everything in him that he would see those green eyes again–not glassy and vacant, as they were now, but again vibrant and full of life.

_Perhaps I will,_ he thought, trying to take a cue from Naruto and be hopeful for once. _Perhaps it will all work out for the best._

But for now… now, he had a job to do.

Kakashi replaced his mask and closed his eyes. As always, it was disturbingly easy to slip into that dark place in his mind, to find that which could never be fully locked away. He broke the seals over the mental door and very deliberately stepped through.

_The Hound snarled from the back of the long, narrow room. Feral and bloodthirsty, his torn ANBU uniform and wild silver hair were perpetually streaked with blood. Silver shackles and chains bound him to the wall. Crimson streaks dripped down his upraised arms, testament to his never-ending fight to break those shackles and free himself._

_Just out of his reach, the porcelain Hound mask lay on the floor._

_Kakashi met the mismatched gaze of his other self unflinchingly. "I need you."_

_The Hound sneered at him. "I thought you prided yourself on not needing me any longer," he growled. "You're _human_, right? No longer just a stone-cold killing machine." Hatred dripped from every word. Like any predator, the Hound had never adjusted to being chained._

_Kakashi shrugged. "Well, right now I need a stone-cold killing machine more than I need to be human."_

_The feral creature gave a short, harsh bark that might have been laughter. "I always knew you'd come around. Who are we killing?"_

_This time, when Kakashi replied, he dropped all pretense of calm. "The Sound. And it's not we this time. It's you." He took out his _Icha Icha_ and watched the Hound's attention fix on the orange cover. Slowly, deliberately, he stepped forward, crossing the long room stride by stride. The Hound's mismatched eyes never wavered from the book._

_Kakashi stopped within inches of the mask. "No mercy. No survivors. And don't come back until they are all dead."_

_The book hit the floor with an echoing boom that was too loud for its apparent size, but even that sound was mostly obscured by the Hound's long howl of triumph and bloodlust. In the blink of an eye, Kakashi hung against the stone wall, bloodstained shackles clamped tightly around ankles and wrists, and the Hound stood just out of reach with the ANBU mask in his hand._

"No mercy. No survivors."

The Hound looked down at the woman on the bed. So, this was the one who finally drove Kakashi to give in to the brutality he'd spent so long burying, was it? She didn't look like much, even though Kakashi rattled his chains inside when the Hound thought it. Something urged him to touch her hair, but he pulled away quickly–the softness was jarring to his hypersensitive skin. He didn't like it. Softness… confused him. Pain made more sense.

But that same something also convinced him to take the little braid from within _Icha Icha _and tuck it into his kunai pouch.

And then the Hound was gone, only the discarded orange volume on the bedside table leaving any indication he'd been there at all.


	37. Extermination

**Another chapter! I have nothing witty to say at this point. We're going into Kakashi's mind, and it's a dark, dark place. Why do I like it here so much?**

**I still don't own it, etc, etc… **

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The long room that had been the Hound's prison was a pretty miserable place to be. Kakashi supposed he couldn't blame the Hound for always being in such a shitty mood every time he came to speak to his alter ego, now that he'd had a chance to experience how it felt to be confined here. Chained to the wall, without enough freedom to even scratch his nose or sit, this place was like a sensory deprivation chamber in hell.

He lost track of time almost at once. Most of the time–as far as he could tell, anyway–the door was closed, completely isolating him from the world around him. But the Hound was more generous than Kakashi had been about occasionally leaving it open. Through that door, Kakashi could see some of what the Hound was doing–traveling through the trees, stalking his prey, searching and then destroying the Sound's bases, viciously interrogating the prisoners the Hound sometimes took.

Kakashi's prison wasn't static. According to the Hound's mood, at times the room would lengthen so that the door was a distant point of light in the blood-tinted darkness. At others, the it was so close Kakashi felt he could almost touch it, giving him not just sight, but sound and smell as well. At those times, it seemed like he could almost will himself back in control of his body… but it wasn't that easy. No matter how close the door was, his _Icha Icha_ book remained just out of reach.

And as though knowing that Kakashi needed it, the Hound always let him witness the fights, the battles, the brutal deaths of every Sound ninja he tracked down.

Still, the intermittent glimpses of the world gave him no real way of keeping track of the days, so instead, Kakashi counted kills. With each blood-splashed death, he burned for more. Suyo's still, pale face haunted him every second and the only thing that eased the pain was the revenge the Hound exacted on the Sound.

But when that door closed, when he was isolated for endless, unknowable amounts of time in the red-tinged darkness, Kakashi's thoughts turned to their unborn child.

And to fear.

He feared that he wouldn't exterminate the Sound in time, that he would return too late to witness the child's birth. He feared that Suyo wouldn't awaken, that the baby would be born without either parent there to welcome it into the world. He feared that the baby wouldn't survive until birth–well he remembered what had been done to Suyo during her captivity. Apart from the physical mutilations she'd been subjected to, Kakashi remembered Tsunade telling him that there had been poisons in her blood. Had she been able to remove them? What would that do to the child if she hadn't? Most of all, he worried that the Hound might miss a Sound enclave, that the rogue nin would attack again while he was away, while Suyo was helpless, that they would steal her, steal the child, torture and kill them, leave him with nothing but failure and pain…

Over and over, Kakashi told himself that these thoughts were pointless. He couldn't do Suyo a damn bit of good by tormenting himself with "what-ifs." But he couldn't seem to stop the fears. They played over and over in his head, tormenting him in the darkness until he feared he would go as insane as the Hound.

And then the door would open again, showing him scenes of the hunt, and Kakashi's entire life narrowed to that small glimpse of violent death. He bent every bit of his will on the outside world, hoping that the Hound would let him come forward, reach through the door, and that Kakashi could be the one to strike the next killing blow. It never happened.

The closest he ever came to that was when the Hound found Kabuto. Kakashi roared with rage, fighting his chains, struggling with all his might to surge through the door and kill the bastard himself, but the Hound kept Kakashi well restrained. Still, Kakashi threw his will into every blow, every jutsu, every snarl and curse the Hound hurled at Kabuto, hoping that somehow he could add his strength to the Hound's and help ensure victory. The bastard was a formidable fighter, there was no doubting that. Kabuto held the Hound at bay for nearly a full day before finally leaving a split-second opening.

It was all the Hound needed. Leaping with inhuman speed, the Hound's kunai shattered Kabuto's hitai-ate as he drove it straight through metal and bone and into the cruel bastard's brain. The sound of his body hitting the ground was the sweetest symphony he'd ever heard. Kakashi threw back his head and screamed out his triumph, his voice blending with the Hound's howl of victory. Never again would Kabuto touch his Suyo.

And then the door slammed, locking him in the dark again. Until the next chase, the next battle, the next kill. Darkness, then death. Darkness, then more death. And in the darkness, fear.

Finally, after an eternity, light pierced the darkness once more. Kakashi lifted his head and stared at his alter ego as he stood in the distant doorway–the first time he'd arrived since Kakashi had released him. The Hound was as terrifying a specter as ever–gaunt, blood-stained, weapons strapped to arm and waist and thigh and ankle and grasped in both hands, all dripping crimson from this long orgy of battle and death. The porcelain Hound mask obscured his face, showing only his mismatched eyes behind the eye-holes.

After a long time, the Hound finally spoke. "It's done. They're dead."

Kakashi felt a wave of mingled relief and triumph swamp him. _Over… it was finally over_. "All of them?" he asked in a voice hoarse and rusty with disuse.

The Hound gave him a sardonic stare. "Death is my business, Kakashi. Do you think I don't know what I'm talking about? Yes, they're all dead."

"Perfect. Well done." Kakashi jangled his chains. "Now let me out so we can go home."

The Hound shook his head. "No, I don't think so," he growled softly. "You've had a taste of my world, Kakashi. Do you like it? Do you want to stay here forever?" He didn't wait for Kakashi to respond. "Neither do I. You released me, Kakashi. I'm not stupid enough to lock myself away again. I've had a taste of your world now, too, and I like being free."

Ice slid down Kakashi's spine. "You can't function in the shinobi world, Hound," he said, trying to sound reasonable when inside, his gut had frozen with dread. "Let me out. You need me."

"Really." The Hound removed his porcelain mask and crossed the distance between them, stopping beside the orange-bound book just out of Kakashi's reach on the floor. "If I drop this, you'll be free and I'll be back in chains. No fucking way. I'm not going back in the cage, Kakashi."

Kakashi lunged forward, rage filling him, but the chains snapped him back inches from the Hound, who hadn't even flinched. He just shook his head. "That won't work," the Hound said. "Believe me, I tried. I tried everything, but you never came for me until you needed someone dead."

The Hound leaned forward, and Kakashi met his own mismatched, cold eyes. "I've seen your woman, Kakashi. I know what you're going back to. What am I going back to? Nothing! If I let you out, you'll never need me again. I'll spend eternity in the dark, locked in this fucking cell, chained to the wall, forgotten. Well, fuck that, and fuck you. _I'm not going back in the cage. _Do you understand me?" Now the Hound was shouting, rage in every word. "I let you see the world. Did you ever do the same for me? Did you ever let me see the deaths of _my_ enemies? Did you let me feel Suyo's touch? _Anything_ pleasant? _Did you ever give me anything, you bastard?"_

Kakashi forced himself to hold that enraged gaze. "No, I didn't," he said quietly. Only now did he understand what he had done to the Hound, to this tormented, abused part of himself. He'd been so fearful of becoming this beast that he hadn't allowed the beast any chance to become part of _him._ How could he judge the Hound for not wanting to let him out? He was only acting exactly as Kakashi had been doing for years. "And I was wrong for that. I'm sorry, Hound."

The Hound sneered at him. "Sorry? You're sorry? That changes nothing and you fucking know it. I don't want your _sorry._" He spun on his heel and strode toward the door.

Panic swelled in Kakashi's gut. If the Hound walked out now, he was certain he'd never be back. "What are you going to do now?"

"I'm going back for what's mine." The Hound glanced over his shoulder, glaring at Kakashi. "You think I want nothing but death, but you're wrong. I want what you want, Kakashi. After all, I'm you, remember?"

Kakashi suddenly understood. The Hound, this killing machine, was going to take over Kakashi's life. He was going to go to Suyo, be their child's father, and Kakashi was going to be locked away in here forever. Screaming in fury, Kakashi fought the chains so viciously that his skin split and bones cracked, but the Hound didn't stop again.

The door slammed, and he was alone in the darkness again. Only this time, there was no hope to keep him company.

He had won against the Sound. And he had lost everything that mattered.

.

**Reviews, please! I love them!**


	38. Dual

**OMG, y'all, I'm back and damn, it's been forever! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me for the long delay-I saw the Thor movie and fell in love with Loki, and all my plot-bunnies defected to him for a while. But Kakashi will always have a place in my heart and in my twisted, plotting brain, don't worry!  
**

**The POV in this chapter is a bit confused, but that's on purpose. Kakashi's head is a rather fucked-up place right now… well, I know that's not exactly news, but right now the line between sanity and madness is pretty much invisible. **

**Consider the disclaimer disclaimed. On with the show!**

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The Hound adjusted the pack on his shoulders as he raced through the trees back to Konoha. He felt Kakashi screaming in his mind but he was easy enough to ignore, just as the bastard had ignored him all these years. If he traveled through the night, he should arrive in Konoha by dawn.

And then he could experience some of what Kakashi had been withholding from him all these years.

The sky was pink with the impending sunrise when the Hound leapt over the tall Konoha walls. He immediately made his way to the hospital. That was where Kakashi's woman had been when they'd left, and he'd gathered enough from Kakashi's mind to know that she hadn't been expected to awaken. She would probably still be there.

But when he approached the open window, the hospital room was empty and dark. Too late, he felt the tingle of chakra on his skin as he jumped through the window and landed inside the room. He immediately reversed his course, but while he'd had no trouble entering through the window, it was completely impassable now that he was trying to exit through it. The Hound spun around and went for the door, but before he could throw it open and escape whatever trap he'd triggered, two ANBU squads appeared around him in a swirl of leaves. Instinctively the Hound opened the door to Kakashi's prison, anxious to have all his other self's battle experience at his disposal, while still being careful to keep Kakashi himself chained tight.

Maito Gai arrived half a second later and stepped in front of him. There was nothing of the theatrical, often ridiculous "Eternal Rival" in his face now. Gai stared at him with cold black eyes and didn't smile. "The Hokage wants to see you, Kakashi," he said, bracing his hands on his hips. The overwhelming tsunami of chakra flowing from him showed that he'd already opened the first of his chakra gates. "Are you going to come quietly?"

Eight ANBU and the Green Beast, all ready for battle? Clearly Tsunade expected trouble from him. Inside, Kakashi stopped his enraged struggle and the Hound felt the brutal chill of his sudden fear. Was Suyo dead? Did they expect him to go insane when he found out? From the turmoil the Hound sensed from Kakashi right now, he couldn't blame them for that assumption. "Is Suyo alive?" the Hound demanded.

"Tsunade-sama will tell you everything you need to know," Gai replied, his tone hard.

The Hound growled–he didn't like being thwarted. But all Kakashi felt was terror. It flooded them both and sent adrenaline racing through is veins. The Hound stepped forward and the ANBU squads all drew their swords and tensed for battle. He ignored them and met Gai's cold gaze with his own. "Is she alive?" he repeated, speaking solely to the man who'd been Kakashi's only friend for most of his life. "Tell us that much."

Gai raised an eyebrow at his phrasing and hesitated a moment–long enough for Kakashi-inside to imagine a thousand horrible outcomes. Then Gai finally nodded. "Yes, she's alive," he said, and his voice was marginally less cold than it had been. "Now come with us to see the Hokage, Kakashi. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

_Make what harder than it has to be? What the hell is he talking about?_ the Hound mentally asked Kakashi.

_How the hell should I know? Go with them! I have to know what's happened to Suyo,_ Kakashi replied, nearly desperate with fear and the need to know what was going on.

"Yes, I'll come," the Hound finally answered, and he sensed the relief of the shinobi surrounding him. Nine elite jounin just to make sure he wouldn't escape… and he could sense that they knew as well as he did that nine wouldn't be enough if he chose to fight. Despite the strangeness of this situation, this demonstration of the awe in which he was held pleased him. "Lead the way."

His escort brought him straight to Hokage Tower. The ANBU squads didn't leave when he entered Tsunade's large office, either. She stood and crossed to the front of her overloaded desk, crossing her arms and glaring at him as he stopped in the center of the room. "Well, well, well. You decided to come back, did you? What do you have to say for yourself?"

The Hound stared at her for a moment. She hadn't been Hokage the last time he'd been free, and he had no experience in dealing with her. Again he turned to Kakashi for information, hating that he had to do so. He didn't want to prove the bastard right that he couldn't function in the shinobi world on his own. _Let me speak to her,_ Kakashi thought, and reluctantly, the Hound allowed him to do so.

But _only_ enough freedom to speak. The chains still held.

"This is a fine welcome home party, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said in his usual sardonic tone. "Is someone coming with the drinks?"

Tsunade was in front of him in the blink of an eye, deadly fist raised. "Don't give me any of your lip, Kakashi," she warned in a growl. "The only reason I didn't sign a Kill-On-Sight order for you was because I feared what the shock would do to Suyo. You're this close–" she held up her thumb and forefinger a hair's breadth apart– "to being declared a Missing Nin and sentenced to death anyway. The daimyo wants your head. Now _explain yourself_ or I may reconsider that KOS order!"

Kakashi mentally reeled with shock. "Missing nin?" He and the Hound both echoed her words in disbelief. All his life Kakashi had faithfully served Konoha. How could she ever think he would forsake it? The Hound was equally floored. He'd spent years doing the dirtiest of jobs for Konoha, killing hundreds without question or hesitation, following every order his Hokages–first Minato, then Sarutobi–had ever given him. "We would never abandon Fire!"

Tsunade lowered her fist and crossed her arms tightly over her chest again. "Really? Because from my point of view, Kakashi, that's exactly what you did." She held up a hand and began to tick points off on her fingers. "One, you left the village without notice or permission. Two, you abandoned your team, leaving them shorthanded on missions. Three, you failed to check in monthly, as every Konoha shinobi is required to do. Four–"

"I exterminated the entire Sound," the Hound interrupted angrily. "I eliminated the greatest threat to Konoha and I did it single-handedly. Is that the sort of thing missing nin usually do in your book?"

Tsunade's glare softened slightly, but only from _lethal_ to _mortally-wounding_. "I've received reports of massacred Sound nin being found by our patrols," she said after a moment's thought. "That might work in your favor, if you can prove it was you."

"I can," Kakashi said, thinking of the pack's weight on his shoulders. "But before this goes any further, I want to know what's happened to Suyo. Where is she? Is she all right? What about the baby?"

Tsunade was silent for a long time, staring hard at him. The Hound held her gaze and didn't flinch. Finally she said, "Why would you care about her baby?"

Yet again, both Kakashi and the Hound were thrown. "Why the hell wouldn't we care?" the Hound snarled.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. She and Gai exchanged a look, so fast the Hound might've imagined it, before she turned her gaze back to him. "The last thing anyone heard you do before you skipped town was deny that Suyo's baby was yours," she said in a tone of pure ice. "So you can understand my confusion now that you give a damn about either one of them."

That stole Kakashi's voice entirely, but the Hound wasn't as prone to shock. "That's bullshit! He never–"

"The exact words were _no, not me,_" Tsunade quoted, interrupting him. "And then you ran off and no one's seen you since. I heard you myself, Kakashi… or am I speaking with the Hound now?"

The Hound growled, but this time Kakashi spoke before he could. "Both," he said, his voice and the Hound's growl both distinctly audible, and this time there was no imagining the concerned looks that flew around the room. One of the ANBU warriors slipped out through the window but the Hound didn't care if he returned with a thousand reinforcements. "But I spoke with Asuma before I left! He knows Suyo's child is mine. Ask him!"

Tsunade closed her eyes momentarily. When she opened them again, they were clouded with sadness. "Asuma-san left the next morning on a mission, before we realized you were gone. He died on that mission, Kakashi."

_Asuma… dead?_ Kakashi couldn't believe it. The Hound had less trouble assimilating the news. Compatriots died frequently–it was part of the shinobi life. But to Kakashi, Asuma had seemed nearly invincible, like Gai. How could he have died?

And then the rest of Tsunade's statement sunk in. _They all thought he'd denied that he was the father of Suyo's child._ If she'd awakened, if they'd told her that– "Tsunade-sama, please," Kakashi said, and there was true desperation in his voice now. "Tell me about Suyo."

Tsunade sighed and finally relented. "She's fine, Kakashi, thanks to Gai and Iruka. She woke up three days after you left."

Kakashi was almost afraid to ask the next question, but the Hound did it for him. "And the child?"

"Her pregnancy has been hard," Tsunade replied. "But she's nearly managed to make it to term. In fact, I'm planning to perform a Cesarean section to deliver her in three weeks if she can continue to carry that long. A month would be better, but from all indications, we'll be lucky to get those three weeks."

Relief flooded Kakashi, overflowing to the Hound and making his knees weak. He stubbornly shoved the weakness away and looked over at Gai, who stood a few feet away, maintaining his fighting stance. "Thank you," he said.

Gai still looked pissed off, but he nodded sharply. Kakashi was confused. Why was this man who'd always been a better friend to him than he deserved so angry at him now?

Tsunade answered Kakashi's question before he could ask it. "You left Suyo alone, pregnant, homeless and penniless," she said, each word striking ice into Kakashi's heart. "Gai and Iruka have cared for her as you should have."

"She should've been allowed access to my accounts," Kakashi protested. When a shinobi died or went missing, their family were given full access to their belongings and accounts, married or not. As the mother of Kakashi's child, Suyo should have been covered by that rule…

… except, he realized, that everyone thought Kakashi had denied the baby was his. When he'd left, that would've prevented her from accessing the fortune he had saved from a lifetime of missions–money that could've bought her a mansion and private nurses to care for her around the clock. God, had he really left her in such a terrible mess? Without Gai and Iruka's charity, what would've happened to her?

Tsunade hadn't answered, seeing that he'd figured out the problem himself. "What about Naruto?" he asked, wondering why the teen hadn't cared for her himself. It was beyond strange for him to allow Gai and Iruka to do so without being fully involved. He loved Suyo like the mother he'd never known.

"Between his missions, he's been searching for you," the Hokage told him. "I don't know if he was planning to kill you or drag you home when he found you, but he's been unrelenting. He's barely in the village more than a few hours at a time–just long enough to report in, check on Suyo, refill his supplies and take off again."

Kakashi was silent for a long time, digesting what he'd been told. The Hound didn't fill the silence this time. Finally, he spoke again. "I thought she'd wake up if I made the world safe for her," Kakashi murmured, almost as though speaking to himself. "I thought if I eradicated every trace of the Sound, she would wake up and we could raise our child in peace. That's why I left, Hokage-sama." He raised his head and met her cool blue eyes. "I'm not a missing nin. I never betrayed Konohagakure. We will never betray Konohagakure."

Tsunade sighed and shook her head before giving him an exasperated look. "Only you could fuck up so badly while trying to do something noble," she said, and he could tell from her tone that, while he might not be completely out of trouble, at least he wasn't on the edge of a KOS order any longer. "I'm remanding you to the medical unit for intensive mental health care immediately. Your disciplinary hearing will wait until after your treatment is complete. And don't you dare argue," she snapped when the Hound began to protest. "You're unstable right now, Kakashi. Half the time you're you, and the other half you're the Hound. You've referred to yourself in the plural three times during this conversation. There's no way in hell I'm letting you walk around my village in this condition."

The ANBU who'd slipped out minutes earlier returned with Iruka and several medic-nin in tow. The Hound recognized two of them as part of the team who'd helped Kakashi construct the long room years ago and tensed to fight, knowing they were psychiatric reprogramming specialists. He howled in protest. "I'm not going back in the cage!" the Hound snarled, and the assembled ANBU and Gai all closed in around him.

But it was Kakashi who averted the battle. "I want the long room demolished," he said, speaking aloud to the room but also internally to the Hound. _We can't continue like this. Tsunade's right. Instead of fighting over who rules, perhaps we can find a way to share._

"No cage," the Hound growled again, but this time he sounded less homicidal… almost hopeful.

"No more cages for anyone," Kakashi agreed, and then he looked back up at Tsunade. "We will go without a fight, Tsunade-sama, on one condition."

She looked more than a little alarmed by Kakashi's barely-averted explosion and exposed dual personality, but she didn't refuse immediately. "What?"

Kakashi and the Hound communicated silently and found they were in perfect accord on this point. "We want to see Suyo first, just for a few minutes. And we must be there for the birth. No matter what. Agree to this or I can't guarantee his cooperation."

"The Hound will fight?" Gai asked, his hands rising in preparation for the seals that would open his second chakra gate. Iruka also started an unfamiliar series of seals.

The Hound grinned. "No, Gai, not me. _Kakashi_ will fight you. He will fight all of you, and kill as many as he has to in order to be there." He looked at Tsunade's shocked face. "And I'll help him. So are we agreed?"

"You're unstable, Kakashi," Tsunade protested. "And Suyo's in a very fragile state. We _need_ those three weeks–if the baby's born now, its lungs won't be won't be mature. The child may never fully recover from it. If you upset her–"

"I won't upset her," Kakashi assured the Hokage. "I just need to see her. We both need to see her. And then I'll go to the mental health unit quietly, without a fight." When Tsunade still hesitated, he held out his hands, palms up. "I need this, Tsunade-sama. Please."

Finally, she sighed and turned to Gai. "What do you think, Gai-san? Iruka-sensei? You two know her emotional state better than anyone else."

Iruka answered without hesitation. "No. It's too dangerous. He could snap at any moment."

But Gai regarded the Hound critically for a long time. "I don't think he would ever hurt her, Iruka," he disagreed at last. "And I think knowing he's back safely, and that he never denied her or the baby, could only do her good. Hokage-sama, I say we allow a short visit."

Tsunade looked back and forth between them before finally sighing in resignation. Then she turned a hard stare on Kakashi. "I'll give you ten minutes with her, Kakashi–Hound–whoever the hell you are. She's not to be overexcited. And if she starts getting upset, you're to get the hell out of there immediately. She must _not_ go into labor yet. Understood?"

The Hound and Kakashi answered together, again in that dual voice. "Understood."

Tsunade shuddered. "And _don't_ do that around her either. It's creepy as hell. Now get out of here before I change my mind."


	39. Unstable, Dangerous, Homicidal & Insane

**Hey, whoa, what's this? An update after so long? Surely not! Or, well, maybe so. Didn't I say I'd never abandon this fic? Much love to you all, and I hope everyone enjoys another heaping helping of Kakashi's insanity! WHOOT!**

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The Hound followed Iruka and Gai from Hokage Tower toward the outskirts of the village. The silence was tense, and so very unusual for Gai. Iruka wasn't as circumspect, however, and glared death at Kakashi any time he happened to catch the chuunin-sensei's gaze. Still using the freedom the Hound had given him to speak, Kakashi broke the silence. "Thank you both for caring for Suyo for me."

That seemed to be the last straw. Iruka stopped atop the next rooftop and advanced on him, fists clenched. "She never gave up on you," he said, anger in every line of his body. "Even when Tsunade told her what you'd said, she always maintained that we must've misunderstood. You have no idea what she's been through after you abandoned her, and now you come back and expect everything to be fine–and I'm sure she'll take you back and forgive you everything."

Kakashi was taken aback by his ferocity. Gai reached out and grasped Iruka's shoulder, murmuring, "He didn't abandon her, Iruka. He left to–"

Iruka shrugged his hand off and took another step toward Kakashi. "Who gives a fuck what he left to do? _He left!_ He left while she was sick and helpless and pregnant, and now he's going to stroll back in and pick up where he left off." He snarled at Kakashi, a killing rage in his usually mild brown eyes. "She's going to forgive you and _you don't deserve it!"_

Now Kakashi was getting pissed off, too. "What's between Suyo and me is none of your damn business, Iruka. I appreciate what you've done for her, but that doesn't give you the right to sit in judgment on me."

Iruka didn't appear to have even heard him. "Why you?" he cried, rage and sorrow mingled in his voice. Gai stood between him and Kakashi, head lowered, as if he'd been expecting this outburst. "Look at you–you've killed so much, you're not even sane! She's the most gentle person I've ever met, yet she loves you! _Why you?_ Why do you get to have her? You're not worthy of her and she's still going to choose you!"

"Why not _you_, isn't that what you're really asking?" the Hound said with deceptive softness. "What did you think, Iruka, that you'd take my place if you did enough for her while I was gone?" From the shocked and defiant look on the teacher's face, Kakashi realized he had indeed thought that. "She's not that easily manipulated," he said, now truly angry.

"I never wanted to manipulate her!" Iruka snapped. "I would cherish her! Unlike you, I would never abandon her or leave her alone. I would treat her better than you ever have! Eventually she would've realized that and gotten over you. So why the hell did you have to come back?"

The Hound wanted to beat the hell out of Iruka for daring to even look at Suyo, but Kakashi managed to restrain the impulse. He'd wondered before if Iruka had feelings for Suyo but had always dismissed it. Now he knew that Naruto's sensei was in love with her, probably had been for a long time. "Iruka, I didn't abandon her," Kakashi said, slowly and deliberately. "I admit I didn't plan enough before I left to kill her enemies, but exterminating everyone who would ever wish to cause her harm is something you could never do for her, _sensei_. Haven't you heard that those who can't do, teach?"

Iruka started to say something else, but the Hound snarled and cut him off. "Don't make me fight you, damn it," he growled, fists clenching and unclenching convulsively. "I haven't killed anything all day and I'm feeling deprived."

Gai's head snapped up. "Kakashi, if you want to see Suyo, you need to be in control," he said sharply. "Are you in control or is the Hound calling the shots?"

_That wasn't helpful, Hound,_ Kakashi thought, but he actually agreed with the sentiment. "Take me to her, Gai, please," Kakashi requested in a much calmer tone. The last thing he wanted was for Gai to decide he was too unstable to see her now, not after fighting Tsunade to get her to agree to this visit. "I'm in control. It's fine. Tsunade-sama didn't give me much time and I don't want to waste any more of it arguing with Iruka."

Gai nodded and looked at Iruka. "Perhaps you should stay here, sensei," he suggested, but his tone made it more of a command than a request.

"You don't deserve her," Iruka growled at Kakashi, unwilling to let it go.

"You're right, I don't," Kakashi agreed, holding onto his temper with both hands. "But it's not up to you, Iruka. Now can we go, Gai?"

Gai leapt to the next rooftop and Kakashi followed, glad that Iruka stayed behind. He wasn't sure he could've convinced the Hound not to attack very much longer. They traveled across the city for a few moments, leaving the sensei far behind, before Gai finally broke the silence. "He wants to marry her, you know."

The shock of that made the Hound stumble as he landed on the next roof. "He asked her?"

Gai nodded. "Yes–several times, actually. He told her that it was to prevent the baby from being born illegitimate, to save her the shame of bearing a bastard, to give the child a shinobi name, to make sure she was taken care of… he had all kinds of arguments, all of them good ones, in their way. But I think she knew the real reason. She let him down gently. But you should know that Naruto was on Iruka's side."

Again, Kakashi was shocked. _Naruto? _ But he'd given Kakashi his blessing to court Suyo!

"I think you'll have a much harder time convincing him to forgive you than convincing Suyo," Gai added as they landed outside his house. He turned to face Kakashi. "He feels like you betrayed her, Kakashi. He is exceedingly angry."

After a moment, Kakashi nodded. "Thanks for the warning. Now can we see her?"

Gai winced. "Try not to call yourself _we_ or _us_ while you're in there, will you?" he said, opening the front door but stopping Kakashi as he started to walk through. "She's very weak, Kakashi. Don't get her too excited. This pregnancy has been very hard for her. It's taken all of Sakura and Tsunade-sama's skill together to keep her from miscarrying, and even then, it's been close several times. She's on bedrest, in the master suite." Only then did he release Kakashi's arm and let him enter.

He'd been in Gai's house several times and found the master suite without difficulty. He hesitated, however, outside the door. _She thinks I abandoned her,_ he told the Hound, looking for reassurance from any source, however unlikely. _What if she kicks me out?_

_Stop being a pussy and open the fucking door,_ the Hound replied with his usual tact and gentleness. But he did withdraw further, allowing Kakashi to "drive" their shared body. _Just until this is done,_ he warned. _I'm not fully freeing you until that long room is demolished._

_I understand,_ Kakashi said. _And thank you._

He knocked gently on the door, heart in his throat. "Come in," Suyo called, and his chest tightened at the sound of her voice. Gai was right–she sounded weak, tired. But it was her voice, alive, awake, and that was enough to almost kill him with relief.

Kakashi opened the door and stepped inside. Suyo stared at him for a moment, green eyes wide and shocked at the sight of him. She blinked hard, shook her head, and stared again. "Kakashi?" she whispered as though afraid to believe what she was seeing.

He couldn't breathe at the sight of her. Lying on her side in bed, her belly huge with their child, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Kakashi took one step before his legs gave out and he fell to his knees at the bedside. He reached out a trembling hand and touched the curve of her stomach, the air rushing from his lungs at the moment of contact. Something moved beneath his palm and he almost snatched his hand away in shock before realizing what had happened.

Their child had kicked. He had felt the baby, the life they'd created together, move.

"Sweet gods," he breathed, unable to believe it. He finally tore his gaze away and met her eyes only to find tears running down her cheeks. "Suyo, please don't cry, I'm so sorry," he said, hardly aware of what he was saying as he wiped her tears away with shaking fingers.

She shook her head and cupped his face in her hands. "Are you really here? Am I dreaming?"

"I'm here," he assured her. She tugged at his mask and the Hound tensed, but Kakashi overruled him and let her pull the concealing cloth away. The feel of her hands on his cheeks almost brought tears to his own eyes. "Suyo, I never denied our child," he said urgently, needing her to know the truth. To believe it. "I didn't know what I was saying. I would never–"

"Shh, I know," she said, crying in earnest now as she struggled to sit up. He helped her up so that she sat on the edge of the bed as he knelt at her feet. "I always knew. But why did you go? Where have you been for so long?"

Kakashi released her and shrugged the pack off his shoulders. "Remember at the hot springs, when I promised to lay the heads of your enemies at your feet?" She nodded. He opened the pack and prepared to upend it. "Heads are a bit heavy to carry, but I hope this will suffice."

He poured out the bag and dozens of Sound hitai-ate fell to the floor at her feet. Suyo gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, and he withdrew one particular headband from a side pocket. It had been shattered by a kunai strike right through the center of it. He took her hand and pressed the torn material and metal into her palm. "Kabuto," he said, watching her face as he presented her with proof that her greatest enemy had been slain. Then he gestured at the other hitai-ate. "And every one of his minions. Your husband and child have been avenged, Suyo. The Sound is no more. They will never harm you again."

For a long moment, Suyo just stared at the pile in shock. Then the blood drained from her face and she looked like she was about to faint. Kakashi quickly guided her back down onto the bed and after a moment, the color returned to her cheeks. "You… you killed them all?" she whispered.

Too late, Kakashi wondered if the brutality of it might be too harsh for her, but it was too late for second thoughts now "Yes. Every single Sound shinobi is dead."

Suyo closed her eyes tightly, sending tears down both cheeks. Heart in his throat, Kakashi waited for her to speak, to give him some indication that this earned him her forgiveness for leaving her alone for so long. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Thank you," she said fiercely, clutching Kabuto's headband tight. "Thank you for making the world safe for our baby."

And then she pulled him into a tight hug, and the feel of her in his arms finally broke the last barrier in Kakashi's damaged psyche.

"I love you," he murmured in her ear, and when she gasped, he repeated it as she had done for him so many times. "I love you, Suyo. And I want to marry you. Before our child is born, I want to marry you. If you'll have me."

Suyo was shaking now, and he pulled back, worried that he'd upset her too much. But she was smiling through her tears. "I never thought I'd hear you say that," she whispered, half laughing, half crying. "I always knew, but I never thought… of course I'll marry you, Kashi! But we have to wait for Naruto to get back, all right? It wouldn't be right without him there."

Kakashi nodded, and because he couldn't stand it any longer, he kissed her. Her lips were salty with her tears but she was still the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted. It didn't last long enough, though, before another knock at her door interrupted it. Kakashi pulled back and replaced his mask, recognizing Gai's chakra outside the door. "I have to be away for a little while," he told her, hating the dismay that darkened the joy in her eyes.

"Why?" Suyo asked as Gai quietly came in, worry replacing her happiness. "Where are you going? Surely they wouldn't send you out again so quickly. You just got back!"

"I'll be in the village," Kakashi reassured her. "I won't be leaving Konoha again for a long time." That was a pretty sure bet, as close as he was to the edge of sanity. "But I have to go through some medical tests. I'll be there for our baby's birth, though. Tsunade-sama has promised." And it was a promise she'd damn well better keep.

Suyo still looked confused and upset. "You're hurt? Why didn't you tell me? Where are you hurt?" she demanded, starting to sit up again.

Gai stepped forward and gently pressed her back against the pillows. "Not to worry, Youthful Flower!" he said, smiling and assuming his classic Good Guy pose. "It is a mere Formality! My Eternal Rival must endure a Routine Check after his Long Deployment before he is released to begin his Recuperative Leave. There is No Cause for Worry, I assure you!" And he capped it off with a sparkling grin and thumbs-up.

Reassured, Suyo relaxed and reluctantly released her grip on Kakashi's hands. He gave Gai a grateful look before caressing Suyo's hair once more. As the scent of the silken strands washed over him, Kakashi finally felt like he'd come home. "I won't leave you again, Suyo," he promised. "I'll be back as soon as I'm released. I promise."

She nodded, looking unhappy with his departure but accepting it with Gai's reassurance. She placed Kabuto's hitai-ate on her belly and said, "You see what Daddy did for us? Now there's nothing in the world that will hurt us."

And Kakashi's chest tightened with an unfamiliar emotion… pride.

"I will escort your Beloved to the hospital, Youthful Flower!" Gai said, grinning again. "And then I shall return and Regale you with Tales of his Brave and Noble Exploits!" And with that, he ushered Kakashi out of Suyo's room and gently closed the door behind them.

Kakashi followed Gai back to the hospital in silence, his mind full of the brief visit. Finally they stopped on hospital roof where a large team of medical and psychiatric nin were waiting to take charge of him. The Hound, nervous at the prospect of being back at the mercy of those who'd helped to lock him away before, shoved Kakashi into the background again and tensed. But Gai laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiled–not a cheesy, glittering grin, but a reassuring and genuine smile. "Don't worry, Kakashi, Hound," he said quietly, too softly for the assembled nin to overhear. "They will help you become whole. The more you cooperate, the faster you'll be released to rejoin your Suyo."

The Hound remained tense. "How do you know that?" he demanded. "If they can't _help us become whole_, I know which one will be locked away again!"

But Gai's smile never wavered. "You're not the only one who had to separate the killing instinct from the rest of your personality, Kakashi," he said, shocking Kakashi utterly. He'd never so much as suspected that Gai had any trouble reconciling the deeds he'd performed during his own years in ANBU. "Nor the only one who was broken and had to be put together again. I know it can be done. Now go. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be healed and headed for marriage."

Kakashi stared at him. "You eavesdropped?" he demanded, outraged.

Gai laughed. "Of course I did! You're unstable, dangerous, homicidal and insane!" he replied in a cheerful tone utterly at odds with the words themselves. "And what I heard made me very glad, although I'm sure Iruka won't feel the same way."

The lead medic-nin stepped forward and bowed. "Kakashi-san, Hound-san, I am Hiruko Hiro," he said. The Hound was startled that he'd been addressed, too, not just Kakashi, but Gai didn't seem surprised by that at all. "If you will please follow me, we can show you to your room and begin the evaluation to determine how best to help you both."

The Hound hesitated, but Gai said he'd been through this before. And Kakashi trusted Gai with his life. Finally, he nodded to Gai and turned to Hiro. "Fine. Let's get started," he said, and followed the medical team into the hospital.

And hopefully into a new future.


End file.
